Goodbye Bob, my defiant Harley riding husband

lovingwifedeb

I should have known my husband would have the last words even though he was not aware of his surroundings in the end. I guess he showed everyone he was going out on his terms and that meant "when"... No time for Hospice for him! I'm thinking he had a big ride planned and did't want to hang around waiting for us to finish grieving. OK... Whatever the reason, certainly the doctors and nurses missed the timing on this one...

Bob passed this morning at 5:10, May 27th, 2011

I will miss what he brought into my life, his energy, his strength, his wiseness and patience. I will be lost until I can find myself again... To get to know who I am without him as it has been 14 years of talking in "we" not "I".

My tears come in waves, heavy at times like the ocean, rolling over me suffocating me at times. I'm so glad summer is coming and with it the warmth if the sun as I will be needing it to warm the space next to me.

Thank you all for yor support in my most difficult days ahead.

Deb
lovingwife ( forever and always )

mswijiknyc

Deb
Dia enfold tú ar an maintlín sé a ghrá,

Bob will be with you always - may his love flow over you like rain.

Loves,
April

karenbeth

so sorry
There are no words...you are in my thoughts, and I will light a candle for Bob tonite.

Karen

Elizabeth15

Deb
Dear Deb,
I am so so sorry.
Elizabeth

zinniemay

Sorry
Deb, May peace be with you. May the love you shared carry you far. May his love help you along the way. I wish you peace.

Jennie

micgrace

Very sorry.
It will be difficult but you have many friends here. Take care.

DrMary

Last word
I'm glad it was on his terms. He sounds like a wonderful guy and he's given you a lot of strength to deal with the days to come. You both are in our thoughts now.

neverquit

Deb, I am so very sorry.
Deb, I am so very sorry. Bob will be there with you always in your heart, mind and soul; you were very lucky to have each other. Peace always. Dina

grandmafay

Sorry
Saying I'm sorry always seems inadequate, but I am sorry. As he went out on his terms, you will grieve in yours. Take care of yourself now. Fay

Noellesmom

there are no words
I cannot think of what to say, deb.

I am sorry for your loss, happy for the times you had together and prayerful you know you are not alone - ever.

Hugs.

AngKad42

With deepest sorrow
I am so very sorry Deb, that Bob had to leave, I hope you find comfort in knowing that someday you will be together again and that love never leaves us. I have no words of wisdom that can heal your pain, I can only imagine how you feel right now. I have been keeping you and Bob in my prayers and in my heart for a long time now and the breath left me when I read your post about his passing. My heart breaks for you.
I found this quote a long time ago and have always liked it, I hope it may bring you some comfort. Will keep you in my prayers, Deb.
Much love, Angie

Do not stand at my grave and weep.

I am not there. I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning’s hush,

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circling flight.

I am the soft star that shines at night.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.

I am not there. I do not sleep.

- Northwest Indian Memorial on Death

lovingwifedeb

Thanks For All Your Support
Although I feel like the wind has been knocked out of my sails I have been kept busy by unraveling what my husband has left behind... That includes my heart. Fortunately my daughter and boyfriend are staying with me for now at least until my house is in order if you know what I mean. I've not had much time to think or dwell on what's happened... A crash will happen sooner or later.

I have decided to have an Open House at home... A Celebrate Life Day for Bob. I've heard some grumblings already from family... This not being a "Traditional Memorial Service"... Those who know my husband best feel our home reflects who he is/was the best... Not a church or hall. He was a "project master"... he was very proud of our sanctuary and those who knew him well knew this also. I grieve enough let alone worrying about what other people think of what I am doing or not doing?

Preparations have began and friends and family have joined me today to wrap up garden duty that Bob could not get done because he was too sick. I am very humbled today. It will be a very busy couple of weeks.

Thank you for responding to my loneliness as no matter who I surround myself with only you know what I have gone through.

Deb

luz del lago

lovingwifedeb said:

Thanks For All Your Support
Although I feel like the wind has been knocked out of my sails I have been kept busy by unraveling what my husband has left behind... That includes my heart. Fortunately my daughter and boyfriend are staying with me for now at least until my house is in order if you know what I mean. I've not had much time to think or dwell on what's happened... A crash will happen sooner or later.

I have decided to have an Open House at home... A Celebrate Life Day for Bob. I've heard some grumblings already from family... This not being a "Traditional Memorial Service"... Those who know my husband best feel our home reflects who he is/was the best... Not a church or hall. He was a "project master"... he was very proud of our sanctuary and those who knew him well knew this also. I grieve enough let alone worrying about what other people think of what I am doing or not doing?

Preparations have began and friends and family have joined me today to wrap up garden duty that Bob could not get done because he was too sick. I am very humbled today. It will be a very busy couple of weeks.

Thank you for responding to my loneliness as no matter who I surround myself with only you know what I have gone through.

Deb

In my heart...
As I return from my first "solo" flight, I am deeply saddened to read of Bob's passing. My heart grieves with yours.

A Celebration of Bob's life is a wonderful idea. I did something similar for Dennis, and we were all able to share, cry and laugh together away from the confines of a solemn venue of church or funeral home.

I am glad to see that you are surrounded by loving and helpful folks. And, yes, this is your time to honor your beloved as you wish. It is your first step in this new journey.

Take care, dear one. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Lucy

UKLady

lovingwifedeb said:

Thanks For All Your Support
Although I feel like the wind has been knocked out of my sails I have been kept busy by unraveling what my husband has left behind... That includes my heart. Fortunately my daughter and boyfriend are staying with me for now at least until my house is in order if you know what I mean. I've not had much time to think or dwell on what's happened... A crash will happen sooner or later.

I have decided to have an Open House at home... A Celebrate Life Day for Bob. I've heard some grumblings already from family... This not being a "Traditional Memorial Service"... Those who know my husband best feel our home reflects who he is/was the best... Not a church or hall. He was a "project master"... he was very proud of our sanctuary and those who knew him well knew this also. I grieve enough let alone worrying about what other people think of what I am doing or not doing?

Preparations have began and friends and family have joined me today to wrap up garden duty that Bob could not get done because he was too sick. I am very humbled today. It will be a very busy couple of weeks.

Thank you for responding to my loneliness as no matter who I surround myself with only you know what I have gone through.

Deb

Knowing how you feel
Deb

You know I lost Steve just a few days ago, and you and I shared some posts over the last weeks so you know that I feel your loss as keenly as my own right now since both Bob and Steve shared similar difficulties towards the end, yet I was so hoping that Bob would regain some ground. If it helps, Steve too made a choice towards the end, and I know that neither you nor I did not leave anything undone to create comfort and well being for them as much as we were able.

I join you in being set adrift this week without our loved one but like you I take comfort from others here who continue to post and help us to show what we are feeling- they have too, and they are surviving, so Deb, we must dig a little deeper during bad days and hold on to that and maybe each other and know some day we will be able to walk with some very inspirational people on this site. PM me any time Deb.

with sympathy and understanding

Lyndsey

Barbara53

lovingwifedeb said:

Thanks For All Your Support
Although I feel like the wind has been knocked out of my sails I have been kept busy by unraveling what my husband has left behind... That includes my heart. Fortunately my daughter and boyfriend are staying with me for now at least until my house is in order if you know what I mean. I've not had much time to think or dwell on what's happened... A crash will happen sooner or later.

I have decided to have an Open House at home... A Celebrate Life Day for Bob. I've heard some grumblings already from family... This not being a "Traditional Memorial Service"... Those who know my husband best feel our home reflects who he is/was the best... Not a church or hall. He was a "project master"... he was very proud of our sanctuary and those who knew him well knew this also. I grieve enough let alone worrying about what other people think of what I am doing or not doing?

Preparations have began and friends and family have joined me today to wrap up garden duty that Bob could not get done because he was too sick. I am very humbled today. It will be a very busy couple of weeks.

Thank you for responding to my loneliness as no matter who I surround myself with only you know what I have gone through.

Deb

home is his special place
Deb, I'm so sorry to hear of Bob's passing, but I understand your wanting to get his special place set to rights and ready for his memorial service. We, too, live in a special place that represents years of creative work, a sanctuary.

Bob will always be so much a part of your home. I think it's wonderful to have a ceremony to properly install him in his new position as ever-present spiritual advisor. Or maybe there's some Grand Poopah type title for Harley emeritus?

AngKad42

lovingwifedeb said:

Thanks For All Your Support
Although I feel like the wind has been knocked out of my sails I have been kept busy by unraveling what my husband has left behind... That includes my heart. Fortunately my daughter and boyfriend are staying with me for now at least until my house is in order if you know what I mean. I've not had much time to think or dwell on what's happened... A crash will happen sooner or later.

I have decided to have an Open House at home... A Celebrate Life Day for Bob. I've heard some grumblings already from family... This not being a "Traditional Memorial Service"... Those who know my husband best feel our home reflects who he is/was the best... Not a church or hall. He was a "project master"... he was very proud of our sanctuary and those who knew him well knew this also. I grieve enough let alone worrying about what other people think of what I am doing or not doing?

Preparations have began and friends and family have joined me today to wrap up garden duty that Bob could not get done because he was too sick. I am very humbled today. It will be a very busy couple of weeks.

Thank you for responding to my loneliness as no matter who I surround myself with only you know what I have gone through.

Deb

Deb,
Thought about you
Deb,
Thought about you and Bob a lot today and my hubby and I talked about what he would want when the time comes. He agrees with what Bob wanted and so do I. And I think you should do what is right for you and Bob as far as celebrating his life. You do what you need to do, honey and hang those that dont understand. You dont need to worry about any of that.
I want you to know we are here for you and anytime you need to vent or cry or whatever just drop me a line or post something, I will be looking for you as always. Much love, Angie

mr steve

AngKad42 said:

Deb,
Thought about you
Deb,
Thought about you and Bob a lot today and my hubby and I talked about what he would want when the time comes. He agrees with what Bob wanted and so do I. And I think you should do what is right for you and Bob as far as celebrating his life. You do what you need to do, honey and hang those that dont understand. You dont need to worry about any of that.
I want you to know we are here for you and anytime you need to vent or cry or whatever just drop me a line or post something, I will be looking for you as always. Much love, Angie

Deb
Sending prayers and hugs

Steve

lovingwifedeb

Barbara53 said:

home is his special place
Deb, I'm so sorry to hear of Bob's passing, but I understand your wanting to get his special place set to rights and ready for his memorial service. We, too, live in a special place that represents years of creative work, a sanctuary.

Bob will always be so much a part of your home. I think it's wonderful to have a ceremony to properly install him in his new position as ever-present spiritual advisor. Or maybe there's some Grand Poopah type title for Harley emeritus?

Mistress
You made me laugh this morning... Thank you! Everyone is gone with their normal routine and I still have things to wrap up , my mind is a whirpool. There was a message on my husband's iPhone... Is continuing his disability after the 31st? God... I only wish. Calls to make after this holiday weekend...

The bike my husband never nicknamed, but I certainly did. I called her "The Mistress" ... any wife's out there who has a husband that has a passion for a hobby knows how time can be consumed by their hobby. Fortunately tho the summer rides were shared with me. I have a constant reminder that "The Mistress" will also miss her companion.

Deb

KateNTx

Deb, I am so sorry. Words
Deb, I am so sorry. Words fail me. Know we are praying for you.

coping in CA

lovingwifedeb said:

Thanks For All Your Support
Although I feel like the wind has been knocked out of my sails I have been kept busy by unraveling what my husband has left behind... That includes my heart. Fortunately my daughter and boyfriend are staying with me for now at least until my house is in order if you know what I mean. I've not had much time to think or dwell on what's happened... A crash will happen sooner or later.

I have decided to have an Open House at home... A Celebrate Life Day for Bob. I've heard some grumblings already from family... This not being a "Traditional Memorial Service"... Those who know my husband best feel our home reflects who he is/was the best... Not a church or hall. He was a "project master"... he was very proud of our sanctuary and those who knew him well knew this also. I grieve enough let alone worrying about what other people think of what I am doing or not doing?

Preparations have began and friends and family have joined me today to wrap up garden duty that Bob could not get done because he was too sick. I am very humbled today. It will be a very busy couple of weeks.

Thank you for responding to my loneliness as no matter who I surround myself with only you know what I have gone through.

Deb

My thoughts and prayers are
My thoughts and prayers are with you. Party on!!

Shari

angelsbaby

KateNTx said:

Deb, I am so sorry. Words
Deb, I am so sorry. Words fail me. Know we are praying for you.

Sorry deb
I think my man is riding in a higher place . My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family

michelle