Feeling a little sad today :(

kellyh33

I am feeling rather sad today regarding my Mom. I wonder why so many others are getting better and Mom is not. I got to peek at her CA 125 numbers last month before she started the doxil. After 21 treatments her numbers are still 5000+ and the lowest they ever were was 3000+.
She deserves to be well and not to have this **** (sorry if that offends anyone) disease. None of you deserve this.
I miss my Mom and the person she used to be before she got sick.
Thanks for the vent,
Kelly

Mwee

wish I could give you reasons
She does deserve to be well... we all do. Vent away, Kelly, we're here to listen. This is a **** disease and if you go by the beautiful souls on this board, it seems to single out some of the nicest women I've ever had the pleasure to meet.
((((HUGS)))) Maria

pattysoo

sadness
I agree with you totally. I go into a rant quite often about the very unfairness of O/C. There's no rhyme or reason for me getting it - I have none of the risk factors - and yet here I am, subject to changes that overwhelm. I'm glad you are supporting your mom, and I really hope there's a breakthrough in her numbers.

poopergirl14052

pattysoo said:

sadness
I agree with you totally. I go into a rant quite often about the very unfairness of O/C. There's no rhyme or reason for me getting it - I have none of the risk factors - and yet here I am, subject to changes that overwhelm. I'm glad you are supporting your mom, and I really hope there's a breakthrough in her numbers.

you can vent all you want
we are here for you. Yes cancer changes everything, I wish your mom and you the best. I hope your momis having a good day....val

Anita1216

Kelly-
*hugs* to you. I wake
Kelly-

*hugs* to you. I wake up everyday and wonder the same kind of things and get really pissed! I look at my mother, at how frail she has become and it seems so unfair, so wrong. She fought the cancer beast 19 years ago and she won that battle, but the war has carried on it would seem =(

This board is full of wonderful, strong, brave, smart and wonderously enough...very funny women. They give me hope and make me believe that everyday can be a blessing, a joy all on its own. I am learning to take each day, to find the beauty in it. It is hard to not worry, to not look for the answers to it all.

Vents are ok, but so is full out pissed screaming mad. You have the right, cancer is a terrible thing.

Christine B.

My heart is with you,
Kelly, I know where you are I think. Sometimes I wonder why a person has to go through so much. My son was born with a rare genetic syndrome 20 years ago. He has severe physical challenges, with great love and support from many people in his life he has grown into an awesome human being. He is bravely facing yet another big surgery on his leg within the next months. My dad died 7 years ago because of a giant mistake by the hospital, then my brother died two years ago just after his 50th birthday of colon cancer. My mom has recently been unofficially diagnosed with early onset Alzheimers. She is here, but not the same mom I used to go to with my worries and cares. Now, WE my family and I, are in this fight with stage IV OVCA. Someone asked my husband how much must one family be given.... The only peace I can hold onto and that I am learning is that God did not give or let these things happen to us. He will however, give us the strength we need to endure it and a way to find purpose in our suffering. I'm sorry for spilling my guts like this, but I just wanted to say I understand how you feel, and you have the right to vent, she/you do not deserve this.
Best of wishes to you and your mom, I hope that you can find happiness again in the love, friendship, and memories you and your mother share. This beast is not strong enough to take this from you.
Love,
Chris

kayandok

Kelly,
I agree, none of us deserve this! I will have to say that 2000 points though, is an awesome drop! How is she feeling?

I have been doing a bit of greiving myself, this last week. I miss my old self too, but as I allow myself to grieve my losses ( ie process by crying, screaming at my kids, and yelling at the cat!!!), it is a bit easier to accept my new self. I still like my old self better, though.

Warm hugs,
kathleen

kayandok

Christine B. said:

My heart is with you,
Kelly, I know where you are I think. Sometimes I wonder why a person has to go through so much. My son was born with a rare genetic syndrome 20 years ago. He has severe physical challenges, with great love and support from many people in his life he has grown into an awesome human being. He is bravely facing yet another big surgery on his leg within the next months. My dad died 7 years ago because of a giant mistake by the hospital, then my brother died two years ago just after his 50th birthday of colon cancer. My mom has recently been unofficially diagnosed with early onset Alzheimers. She is here, but not the same mom I used to go to with my worries and cares. Now, WE my family and I, are in this fight with stage IV OVCA. Someone asked my husband how much must one family be given.... The only peace I can hold onto and that I am learning is that God did not give or let these things happen to us. He will however, give us the strength we need to endure it and a way to find purpose in our suffering. I'm sorry for spilling my guts like this, but I just wanted to say I understand how you feel, and you have the right to vent, she/you do not deserve this.
Best of wishes to you and your mom, I hope that you can find happiness again in the love, friendship, and memories you and your mother share. This beast is not strong enough to take this from you.
Love,
Chris

Your words,
comforted me Chris.
Thank you,
k

LaundryQueen

kayandok said:

Kelly,
I agree, none of us deserve this! I will have to say that 2000 points though, is an awesome drop! How is she feeling?

I have been doing a bit of greiving myself, this last week. I miss my old self too, but as I allow myself to grieve my losses ( ie process by crying, screaming at my kids, and yelling at the cat!!!), it is a bit easier to accept my new self. I still like my old self better, though.

Warm hugs,
kathleen

Kelly: Does your mom have
Kelly: Does your mom have clear cell OVCA? That would explain why she isn't responding to the routine chemotherapies. I read somewhere that a woman with clear cell OVCA was finally doing well on Torisel (approved for kidney clear cell cancer). I don't know what else to say except hang in there.

LQ