Bad Bad Bad Bad

Lisa13Q
Lisa13Q Member Posts: 677
in Ovarian Cancer #1
Mom cannot swallow anything anymore...we need drops for under her tongue for pain (which we don't have)...she also needs a pain patch (which we don't have)...she cannot eat and is barely drinking.....My sister is going to call tomorrow for hospice nurses (vs. visiting nurses).....I suggested she call switchboard tonight, but....that's all I can do.......I have been begging for weeks for pre-planning for this...I am sooo angry about how this is coming down..it is inexcusable to me....that we are not ready...we had so much time to prepare for this phase...someone help me to understand this...denial is a terrible thing....all we are doing is reacting after the fact instead of being proactive....

Comments

  • clamryn
    clamryn Member Posts: 508
    #2
    So sorry
    Lisa, I am so sorry that you are having to go through all of this. I wish that I could help you in some way. I pray that your sister will call and get your mom some relief. I know you feel so helpless.

    Linda
  • Hissy_Fitz
    Hissy_Fitz Member Posts: 1,834
    #3
    Lisa, I know this is
    Lisa, I know this is frustrating, and heart-breaking. Sometimes, though, people don't have a choice. Some people are just hard-wired that way, and it's often a coping mechanism. (I feel like such an idiot, preaching to the choir, as it were. Please forgive me.)

    Can you get your mom on TPN feedings? They administer it thru the same chest port that is used for chemo. They can set up a saline drip to keep her hydrated. Neither of those things is against Hospice guidelines, although some Hospice workers will discourage you from providing any sustenance that cannot be taken orally. There is no right or wrong choice. It is totally up to you and W, and to your mom, as long as she is cognizant.

    The Morphine drops are a God-send. The Fentanyl patches...well, we talked about those the other day. Just be careful...that's a powerful combination.

    Call Hospice first thing tomorrow morning. It's the best you can do at this point. Maybe give your mom extra Tramadol to get her thru the night. I take it 100-200 mg at a time. It's relatively safe.

    From here on out, you and W will probably be on the same page and maybe things will get better in that regard.

    Hugs....

    Carlene
  • azgrandma
    azgrandma Member Posts: 609 Member
    #4
    Hissy_Fitz said:

    Lisa, I know this is
    Lisa, I know this is frustrating, and heart-breaking. Sometimes, though, people don't have a choice. Some people are just hard-wired that way, and it's often a coping mechanism. (I feel like such an idiot, preaching to the choir, as it were. Please forgive me.)

    Can you get your mom on TPN feedings? They administer it thru the same chest port that is used for chemo. They can set up a saline drip to keep her hydrated. Neither of those things is against Hospice guidelines, although some Hospice workers will discourage you from providing any sustenance that cannot be taken orally. There is no right or wrong choice. It is totally up to you and W, and to your mom, as long as she is cognizant.

    The Morphine drops are a God-send. The Fentanyl patches...well, we talked about those the other day. Just be careful...that's a powerful combination.

    Call Hospice first thing tomorrow morning. It's the best you can do at this point. Maybe give your mom extra Tramadol to get her thru the night. I take it 100-200 mg at a time. It's relatively safe.

    From here on out, you and W will probably be on the same page and maybe things will get better in that regard.

    Hugs....

    Carlene

    so sorry
    I am so sorry to hear this news. May God be with you all and keep his arms aroound you
  • mopar
    mopar Member Posts: 1,972 Member
    #5
    SO SORRY, LISA
    It does seem as though this really shouldn't be this way. Your mom shouldn't have to play a 'waiting game' for proper medical care, whether it's a weekend or not.

    Fentanyl can be overwhelming. When they gave it to my Mom in the hospital after colon surgery, they didn't seem to know her limit. She was sleeping all the time, was delirious (kept ripping out her IV), and never knew who she was or where she was. I was so upset with the staff, and demanded that they wean her off of it and find another pain med. Once they did that, she was herself again - mind clear as ever, talking, not seeing things in mid air anymore.

    Sending prayers and hugs to you today. Please let us know once they've come up with a reasonable plan for your dear Mother.

    Monika
  • VickiReed
    VickiReed Member Posts: 66
    #6
    So sorry to hear this Lisa.
    So sorry to hear this Lisa. Sending prayers for your family and hoping that your you
    Mom finds comfort. ((hugs)) Vicki

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