How "public" are you about your illness or its after-effects?

josh r.

hawk711 said:

Hey Deb Lewis
We are both Californians, we have to stick together! Keep strong, have fun, try hard, enjoy the day.
take care of yourself, you're special.
Steve

Private, public or combo
Hi Brian and friends,
This is, as has been said, a very interesting topic. In nearly twenty years I haven't thought of how I present this part of my life. As I read all these facinating post I definetly found myself in the public position. My throat cancer was found half way though my 30 plus years as a public school teacher. In the spring I taught a "Family Life" class that dealt deeply into drug abuse among a number subjects young people are very interested in. This gave me a chance to give a first hand account of the dangers of tobacco and alcohol use and that I will always have a shadow hanging over me that I put there myself and that they can avoid if the're smart. In my presdent career many of my colleagues are collage seniors or post graduates and a good number quiz me about what I did at this point in my life and if I had any suggestions as to what they might do next given the times in which we find ourselves. My condensed responce is do not give up on their goals and do not defeat themself by doing things they know can hurt them or others. I believe that for me being "public" does as much for me if not more than it does for those I share it with. Thanks to all you. josh r.

luv4lacrosse

SHARING MY BATTLE
Hi Brian, this is a great post you started. I have been very forthcoming about my cancer and the treatment battle I have fought. I have shared my experience 100% with my employees, and they even came to my home to see me in my darkest times. I have also shared my situation to all of the hockey and lacrosse community I am associated with as they were a crucial part of my treatment and recovery process. I just feel better getting it out there for some reason, as work and life in general is stressfull enough.

I was very private at first when I went back to the gym as I still had my feeding tube and was 70 lbs lighter, and my powerlifting pals had not seen me since before I got sick. I felt very wierd to be seen in the locker room looking so emaciated with a tube coming out of my gut. I then started talking to and showing a few people my tube and battle scars and they embraced me and made me feel like nothing ever happened. I now have no problem with my confidence while I am in the gym.

Great thread and best of luck

Mike

tnsilcncer

Private or public?
I agree, this was a good topic to post! I've always been the blunt and honest type so when I was diagnosed, nothing really changed. I had cancer (notice the "had" in there, haha!). I didn't ask for it, I didn't cause it, but I got it, nothing to be ashamed of,as said before, it is what it is. In my job as a property manager, I have contact with a lot of people every day and a lot of them ask for me personally. I also have 23 apartments where I live (and I'm the onsight manager) who I have close contact with almost daily and they noticed something was wrong too. When I wasn't able to talk, they wanted to know where I was, when I would be back, etc....so I gave my co-workers the ok to tell. My thoughts on it are: I fully intend to go through this with a positive attitude and if I can use this to show people how powerful God is, or make them stop and think about their faith in God, then that's what I want to do. And that's what I did. It's kinda hard to hide anyway, with the weight loss, bright red neck, big black circles under my eyes, something was obviously really wrong. Now I have a hefty scar down the side of my neck that I'm sure will cause some questions. I named my cancer Goliath, after the Bible giant, because cancer is big, it's scary and I'm just a little guy, but God is bigger than this nasty disease. Anyway, didn't mean to turn this into a sermon but that's kind of how I got through it.... my faith and using it to show my faith, so I was pretty public. Because of how open I have been with this, the support has been absolutely amazing! There's not one person that has walked away because of it and I realized that over the last few years, I have eliminated people from my life who are harmful and now am surrounded by a very tight knit group of people who really love me! Just one of the many blessings that actually came out of this.

Hugs my friends, it's about time for another pain pill and nap
Karen

cobra1110

Going public
I decided to go public for a couple reasons, the people I work with at the museum would have noticed my feeding tube sooner or later and they are my freinds to.
It's just something that happened and real freinds will still treat you the same.

tonyb

very public , i guess.....
Brian,
Heres the thing,I seem to be more in controll of my emotions when i am around people. When people that know me ask about my situation, i tend to share the particulars pretty calmly. So i can discuss it like its no big deal at all.
People that don't know me that well seem to be intrigued by the way i speak about the illness and the statistics for the long term. They almost always comment on how well i seem to be handling everything. No one has seen me when i am alone and trying not to get into a self pity party, though. lol
Also people that have had similar situations, can recognize the scars on my neck, and when they ask about my situation tend to have a bit more tact.
tonyb.