Why do people assume.

RozHopkins

Attitudes
First I must tell you all=

I was walking my two small very cute dogs one lovely day. Wearing a nice hat and pretty scarf, a car went by and a young child called out excitedly, look there's Peter Pan. I laughed but thought, you cant really shake off that 'need to cover the head with something' thing.

People where I live have been so nice. From my local shops, volunteer work places (schools). Friends and family, neighbors and even friends husbands all were very kind. You do get the ladies who lower their gaze, no one wants what we have had. Then you those who automatically look at your chest without knowing they are doing it. Doesn't bother me at all, human nature. Prob did it myself in the past.

Another child in 2nd Grade saw me in one of my first hats and said 'You've got no hair have you?' Cant fool kids.

My son at first would call me at home to say he was calling so I could put a hat on. I respected that, as everyone deals with this differently.

One day someone at a restaurant, a server who meant no harm at all commented. Oh your wearing another hat. That day I wanted to shout, I've had chemo idiot. Not in the mood should have stayed home.

Hair is now short and thick, enjoying the exposure at last.

MarleneElla

RozHopkins said:

Attitudes
First I must tell you all=

I was walking my two small very cute dogs one lovely day. Wearing a nice hat and pretty scarf, a car went by and a young child called out excitedly, look there's Peter Pan. I laughed but thought, you cant really shake off that 'need to cover the head with something' thing.

People where I live have been so nice. From my local shops, volunteer work places (schools). Friends and family, neighbors and even friends husbands all were very kind. You do get the ladies who lower their gaze, no one wants what we have had. Then you those who automatically look at your chest without knowing they are doing it. Doesn't bother me at all, human nature. Prob did it myself in the past.

Another child in 2nd Grade saw me in one of my first hats and said 'You've got no hair have you?' Cant fool kids.

My son at first would call me at home to say he was calling so I could put a hat on. I respected that, as everyone deals with this differently.

One day someone at a restaurant, a server who meant no harm at all commented. Oh your wearing another hat. That day I wanted to shout, I've had chemo idiot. Not in the mood should have stayed home.

Hair is now short and thick, enjoying the exposure at last.

I get the family history question!
For some reason when I tell people they always come back with a "oh, do you have a family history?"
I think I used to do the same thing! It's seems a lot more polite! I thought I might, but ends up i didn't!
Now I just try to turn it into an educational moment.
If someone said the negative, I'd probably say 20/20 hind vision is a blessing I didn't have since maybe I would have done things a little different. I just can't turn back time. 1 in 8 of us are going to deal with this!
I do get the eat healthy take this, take that and just say thank you and drop it.
My goal, carry my own weather with me. Bright and sunny. No one but me can make me feel different unless I let them.
Good luck ladies!

mariam_11_09

I had my mother go on about

I had my mother go on about how if people eat right they wouldn't get cancer. That was the day I had my biopsy and I hadn't had a chance to tell her because she rarely asks how I am when she calls to talk. However I asked her if she thought I had good eating habits and she said yes. Then I told her I just had a biopsy for breast cancer and was waiting the results. Well that shut her up and has since my diagonis she has been humbled a little.

People are just opinionated and not in touch with reality. It is naivity and really their problem. When I encounter people like that I just tell them when one gets cancer it is good to look at ones diet, if that is not a problem one can go further and look at the emotional and/or spiritual AND oftentimes we have no idea why one gets it. Cancer is very personal and treatment is personal. It is up to the individual to decide what is best as there is no one answer that applies to all.

And sometimes people need to hear that you are not interested in the information they would like to impart because sometimes it is not revelant to your situation.

Christmas Girl

KathiM said:

my mantra: people in glass houses can cast the first stone...
I let it go....or am kind (RARE for me) and say "Well, yes, but then you should look at me as a warning...look at YOUR habits and search how YOU can change!"

Other times, I share that my gastric surgeon (I got the 2-fer...rectal cancer treated first, breast cancer at the same time treated after "I survived the treatment") said I was one of the healthiest sick people he had ever seen...

Or, just, "I hope you never have to hear yourself what you just said to me!"

People are wierd. Remember the advice that is given to pregnant ladies? And all the dire stories? I just shield myself from their ignorant remarks. It's not worth my time to get mad...they are just frightened/stupid/insenitive...

Hugs, Kathi

"People are weird."
Kathi - LOVE that! (hee hee) I, too, tested (pre-op, post-op/pre-chemo, etc.) as "exceedingly healthy" at the time of my DX. At 45 years old - my body was functioning (heart, lungs, etc.) as that of someone 10 years younger.

My own doctors told me, long ago, that breast cancer is NOT a "lifestyle" cancer. So, that's what I use as my comeback to stoooooooooopid remarks and ignorant opinions.

Kind regards, Susan