Your thoughts

Scambuster

Stress
HI Beth,

I would read the riot act to your ONC guys. Make it his problem and you don;t get a result, just change him out.

On another note re stress, it is also important to learn how to manage it. Most people allow external things to cause them stress so there is a some kind of agreement that we all accept to be stressed. You getting so upset about the Doctors refusal is a prime example.

My suggestion here is to get help to learn how to manage stress and that way you can reduce your stress on 'your' terms, rather than have to reorganize the world around you to reduce your stress. I hope this makes sense and in no way am I inferring your work is not a major stress generator, but you know that some people work in these high pressure jobs and situations and never get flustered. It is an art which we all need to learn.

My stress levels have gone way down now. I simply choose not to get upset about things. If I don't finish the work, I just leave it for the following day, delegate it or just let it go. I ask myself, will anyone die ? Will the world end if I don't do this or that ? The answer is invariably NO.

Hope this helps in some way and we look FWD to hearing good results all around from you.

Regds
Scam

AnneCan

Ms. Beth
It is so nice to see you here! I am so sorry you have so much stress in your life, + that your daughter's marriage didn't work out.

I am wondering how many doctors' notes you need? I would think 2 would be lots. Anyway, good luck with this + your scan.

Paula G.

Have to agree
I have to agree with everyone. Stress isn't good for anyone and it sounds like you have a bunch going on. Hope you will be able to scale it back a bit and good luck on your scan. Paula

Aud

Beth, praying for clear
Beth, praying for clear scans for you. I, too, am hoping that your onc just misunderstood. I'm sure (I hope) he'll understand once you have a face-to-face with him. and no, you are not being too sensitive or wrong...you only want the support you deserve from your doctor.

Nana b

AnneCan said:

Ms. Beth
It is so nice to see you here! I am so sorry you have so much stress in your life, + that your daughter's marriage didn't work out.

I am wondering how many doctors' notes you need? I would think 2 would be lots. Anyway, good luck with this + your scan.

You can't change a stage IV
You can't change a stage IV diagnosis, in remission or not! That is why you qualify for SS easily and why ,y ONC gave me a letter to try Amy get some VA benefits. I am also in remission, stage 4.

Stress at home, just go to your room and tell hubby to stay out . If there is one.

At work. We we have to learn to shut it off.

Hope your results are NED!!! Hugs!!!

dorookie

lisa42 said:

Beth!
Hi Beth,

It's really good to hear from you- you've been missed! I thought of you the other day cause my brother in law just read "The Shack" and I remember that you were the one who recommended that book to me.
Anyhow, I'm bummed to hear that you've been so stressed and feeling sick. I'm praying for ya, girl!
I think if I were you I'd take a copy of the letter your supervisor wrote to show your onc on Monday. Before you whip it out, don't be accusatory because people always get on the defensive then & that might not go well for you. Sweetly tell him of your situation and maybe even play dumb pretending that you hadn't heard of his "NO" (you said you heard of it through someone else, right?) Explain and ask & if he tells you yes- great! If he then tells you no, then whip out the letter from the supervisor and other if you have another letter also. Explain how his "no" makes you feel & that you don't believe it matters if you're currently not in treatment- that you're still classified as stage IV and you greatly need a reduction in stress for your overall health and wellbeing. I'll be praying that things go your way with that & also for your scan to be okay.
Keep in touch with us here, okay?

Hugs to you-
Lisa

Lisa,
Thanks hon, yep I see him Monday after my scans, I am mad honestly but I will be calm and first find out if there was a misunderstanding, good idea about the letter I will bring it, and the one my counselor wrote too. I was just blown away by the NO answer, I cant come up with one reason why an ONC wouldnt want a stage 4 person to reduce stress?

I miss everyone here too, my life has been so crazy, but I am thank I have a life to have all this craziness. I will try to be around more, I havent taken any time for BETH in a long time and that is about to change.

I did get a temp assignment for 45 days while higher management decides on my request for the transfer. I hear I am probably going to get it, but there is no promises. I will keep you posted.

Are you going to make it to CP9? I am going to try, need to start looking at airfare. I strongly recommend it, it was the most awesome feeling to be around others that can totally relate to what you have been through without all the explaining...just a great time all around..

Hope your feeling Lisa...keeping you in my prayers hon..

HUGS
Beth

dorookie

Scambuster said:

Stress
HI Beth,

I would read the riot act to your ONC guys. Make it his problem and you don;t get a result, just change him out.

On another note re stress, it is also important to learn how to manage it. Most people allow external things to cause them stress so there is a some kind of agreement that we all accept to be stressed. You getting so upset about the Doctors refusal is a prime example.

My suggestion here is to get help to learn how to manage stress and that way you can reduce your stress on 'your' terms, rather than have to reorganize the world around you to reduce your stress. I hope this makes sense and in no way am I inferring your work is not a major stress generator, but you know that some people work in these high pressure jobs and situations and never get flustered. It is an art which we all need to learn.

My stress levels have gone way down now. I simply choose not to get upset about things. If I don't finish the work, I just leave it for the following day, delegate it or just let it go. I ask myself, will anyone die ? Will the world end if I don't do this or that ? The answer is invariably NO.

Hope this helps in some way and we look FWD to hearing good results all around from you.

Regds
Scam

Scam
Oh yes you make perfect sense, and thank you for your post. I can say I have honestly tried to do this, however I am sure I can try harder. I completely understand, for the most part no one will die in my business but almost every action or lack of action on my peers or subordinates could land me in jail or jobless, so that is where a lot of my stress comes from. I am the first to admit I am my own worst enemy, I expect alot because I give alot, Okay enough with the excuses I am coming up with, your right, I need to get help in doing exactly what you said.

And I am not 100 percent sure that this transfer will be the answer. I am really thankful for your post, I am going to copy and paste it and keep it to reread, thank you...

HUGS
Beth

dorookie

Aud said:

Beth, praying for clear
Beth, praying for clear scans for you. I, too, am hoping that your onc just misunderstood. I'm sure (I hope) he'll understand once you have a face-to-face with him. and no, you are not being too sensitive or wrong...you only want the support you deserve from your doctor.

Thank you Aud,
for your prayers, I have that face to face on Monday, I will let you all know...

HUGS
Beth

dorookie

AnneCan said:

Ms. Beth
It is so nice to see you here! I am so sorry you have so much stress in your life, + that your daughter's marriage didn't work out.

I am wondering how many doctors' notes you need? I would think 2 would be lots. Anyway, good luck with this + your scan.

Anne,
Hello Hon, good to be here...working on getting rid of the stress, need to focus on Beth more and not everyone else in my life...the request only requires 2 letters, but if I were the one looking at the request I would wonder why an ONC didnt provide a letter, maybe that is because I know about cancer, I dont know. I just wanted ever chance of getting this transfer. But like Scam pointed out I have to change too, or it wont matter where I am if I am the same....

How are you doing?

HUGS
Beth

dorookie

PhillieG said:

Beth
I hope he misunderstood what you are asking for. It certainly is not out of the realm of reasonable requests. I would possibly try it again and bring up the stress factor. Otherwise I would consult your previous oncologist.
Hope scans go well.
hugs
-phil

Thanks Phil
Long time no see hope you are doing well my friend...

HUGS
Beth

plh4gail

I'm sorry Beth...I'm sooo
I'm sorry Beth...I'm sooo late coming in with this. If you havent fired the onc yet I think you should talk with him in person. Get to the bottom of why he said no then if the answer is the same you will know for sure why you fired him and feel more at ease with why you're looking for a new one.

Love, Gail

dorookie

plh4gail said:

I'm sorry Beth...I'm sooo
I'm sorry Beth...I'm sooo late coming in with this. If you havent fired the onc yet I think you should talk with him in person. Get to the bottom of why he said no then if the answer is the same you will know for sure why you fired him and feel more at ease with why you're looking for a new one.

Love, Gail

Hey Gail
no worries, and thank you for your post. I am going to have a long talk with him on Monday, and if I dont get the answers I want I will be looking for another ONC.

HUGS
Beth

AncientTiger

Stress and Cancer
I'm sure there have been studies and research done on this, and I'm sure there IS a correlation between stress and cancer.

I'm career law enforcement dispatch Beth, so I have an idea of the stress you deal with. Working shift work, sleeping odd hours, and high stress on TOP of having 3 kiddies and a wife... yeah, I can definitely relate. I hope you can get your transfer, and if not I hope you can find a good "release" valve for the pressures you're facing at work. Experiment around with different past times until you find something that makes you go "Ahhhhh-hhhhhhh" at the end of the day. Make sure your family understands that it's something you NEED and maybe even get their help. Give yourself little treats each day, doesn't even have to be anything extravagant, just some little thing that makes you smile and gives you a quick warm-n-fuzzy feeling.

I suspect that your onc misunderstood as well, and I hope your scans come back clean as a whistle

BettyJoM

your onc
I would make sure he totally understands your position and then if he maintains his opinion not to write the letter, then I would fire him without question.
There are too many oncologists out there to put up with that. My opinion
Betty Jo