My mom completed her carbo/taxol tx last month. She was NED at completion. You would think I would be jumping for joy at this news but there is this big part of me that can't stop worrying for the other shoe to fall and for a reoccurance. My mom has been through a lot in the last 10 months----if she had been in a car accident and then made it to this point I would be elated. However, the dx of Stage 3/4 OVC just carries this continued burden in my mind. Her entire ordeal really frightened me and I just don't want to go back to those days again. I can't stop thinking about her oncologist telling me that she should have "two good years" left. This past year was so lousy and I jokingly ask myself if it should count as one of her "good years". Yesterday we were talking on the phone and debating if she should cancel her Lifeline service. I accidentally said something like "...well if you cancel it, do you know if there is a start up cost if you need it again?" It was the first time I had verbally acknowledged to my Mom that the OVCA could come back. As I replay our conversation, I recall her replying that she had wondered the same thing. So I guess she does know that this could come back. It has been slow for us to talk about it all. I lost my job as a result of my mom's illness 8 mos ago. I recently accepted a new job and start next month. I feel like this horrible chapter is coming to an end, but as I have my hand on the last page, I'm afraid to turn to the next pages if that makes sense. How do you all move on with life mentally and emotionally after such a difficult experience and try and keep the fear of reoccurance from interfering with your life? I think that is where I am stuck.