twlight zone

drea3751
drea3751 Member Posts: 14
in Breast Cancer #1
Talking to parents about how sick I feel on tamix(drug from hell) my mother starts reciting what the ******* doctors. Said " your cancer free...but we found isolated cells in one of your lymphnodes.......I almost burst out crying. Am I overly sensitive like maybe....I don't know....I just don't know

Comments

  • BioAdoptMom
    BioAdoptMom Member Posts: 358
    #2
    I haven't done Tam yet, but
    I haven't done Tam yet, but have heard it can cause us to be very emotional. You are also dealing with a ton of emotion just because of your diagnosis alone. I would think the two combined would indeed bring some tears. As I said, I have no experience, but have heard that it also gets better over time.

    (((((HUGS))))) and prayers!

    Nancy
  • Rague
    Rague Member Posts: 3,653 Member
    #3
    I'm not sure what you are
    I'm not sure what you are asking/saying. According to all I have been told - once DX'd with BC, especially with node involvement, we will never be cancer free again. We can be NED (No Evidence of Disease) but truly free of it - no
  • drea3751
    drea3751 Member Posts: 14
    #4
    Rague said:

    I'm not sure what you are
    I'm not sure what you are asking/saying. According to all I have been told - once DX'd with BC, especially with node involvement, we will never be cancer free again. We can be NED (No Evidence of Disease) but truly free of it - no

    Thank you for confirmation

    Thank you for confirmation
  • ladyg
    ladyg Member Posts: 1,577
    #5
    No you are not
    being overly sensitive. I was also told we would never be cancer free again. It is always in the back of my mind. There is a difference between being cancer free and having no evidence of disease. I will send you positive engergy to help you through this rough patch.

    Hugs,
    Georgia
  • Lynn Smith
    Lynn Smith Member Posts: 1,264 Member
    #6
    drea3751 said:

    Thank you for confirmation

    Thank you for confirmation

    Sorry
    Sorry you got so upset but you have a right.I take tamoxifin. I dont think it makes me upset.The fact I had breast cancer is enough to get to me.

    People are insensitive:
    I went through a problem with my daughter in law.We were in a argument not long after my dx. I'm not sure if I started tamoxifin yet but was getting ready to.I told her I didnt need any problems with stress I have cancer. She blurted out "you don't have cancer" Your doctor said you don't. I didn't cry but I told her to get away from me. It was very hurtful and cruel.

    For me there was no node involvement but still I had breast cancer and I could possibly get it again. None of us know and when people are insensitive it is very upsetting.

    Cry all you want.We all have our times we need to.

    Lynn Smith
  • drea3751
    drea3751 Member Posts: 14
    #7
    ladyg said:

    No you are not
    being overly sensitive. I was also told we would never be cancer free again. It is always in the back of my mind. There is a difference between being cancer free and having no evidence of disease. I will send you positive engergy to help you through this rough patch.

    Hugs,
    Georgia

    Thank you

    Thank you
  • drea3751
    drea3751 Member Posts: 14
    #8
    Lynn Smith said:

    Sorry
    Sorry you got so upset but you have a right.I take tamoxifin. I dont think it makes me upset.The fact I had breast cancer is enough to get to me.

    People are insensitive:
    I went through a problem with my daughter in law.We were in a argument not long after my dx. I'm not sure if I started tamoxifin yet but was getting ready to.I told her I didnt need any problems with stress I have cancer. She blurted out "you don't have cancer" Your doctor said you don't. I didn't cry but I told her to get away from me. It was very hurtful and cruel.

    For me there was no node involvement but still I had breast cancer and I could possibly get it again. None of us know and when people are insensitive it is very upsetting.

    Cry all you want.We all have our times we need to.

    Lynn Smith

    Thank you

    Thank you
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    #9
    drea3751 said:

    Thank you

    Thank you

    I continue to get a little crazy when I try and explain
    what I am feeling, and my family reminds me that I am dancing with 'NED', No Evidence of Disease - Cancer.

    If I suggested not complain that I am tired, or if a side effort from my dense chemo flares up -- Some of my family members (Mom) make me feel that I have no right to complain -- I need to shut up, and be happy. -- In other words, my Breast Cancer journey with chemo, surgeries, procedures, scans, mri's .. have been too much for Mom to handle.

    In my humble opinion, be kind to yourself -- check with your Doctors - Always, and if you do NOT get your concerns resolved .. change Doctors. It's your Life and your Body -- be your own best health ADVOCATE.

    Strength and Courage,

    Vicki Sam
  • missrenee
    missrenee Member Posts: 2,136 Member
    #10
    VickiSam said:

    I continue to get a little crazy when I try and explain
    what I am feeling, and my family reminds me that I am dancing with 'NED', No Evidence of Disease - Cancer.

    If I suggested not complain that I am tired, or if a side effort from my dense chemo flares up -- Some of my family members (Mom) make me feel that I have no right to complain -- I need to shut up, and be happy. -- In other words, my Breast Cancer journey with chemo, surgeries, procedures, scans, mri's .. have been too much for Mom to handle.

    In my humble opinion, be kind to yourself -- check with your Doctors - Always, and if you do NOT get your concerns resolved .. change Doctors. It's your Life and your Body -- be your own best health ADVOCATE.

    Strength and Courage,

    Vicki Sam

    Let 's face it, Drea,
    unless you're in the same boat as we all are--people just "DON'T GET IT!" I've had people say--well, you've been through a lot, but you're fine now. My thought is, "Okay, yeah, if it makes YOU feel better to think I'm "fine" then, okay, I'm fine"

    Maybe we are all a little more sensitive after all we've been through. But, I kinda think we're entitled to be. I went to a seminar for cancer survivors and the speaker said we need to just remove all the negative people from our life--or those who make us feel badly. Okay, so how do I remove a sister who just doesn't seem to "GET IT"?!

    We understand, Drea. You just come here whenever you need to vent or feel misunderstood.

    Hugs, Renee
  • jendrey
    jendrey Member Posts: 377
    #11
    missrenee said:

    Let 's face it, Drea,
    unless you're in the same boat as we all are--people just "DON'T GET IT!" I've had people say--well, you've been through a lot, but you're fine now. My thought is, "Okay, yeah, if it makes YOU feel better to think I'm "fine" then, okay, I'm fine"

    Maybe we are all a little more sensitive after all we've been through. But, I kinda think we're entitled to be. I went to a seminar for cancer survivors and the speaker said we need to just remove all the negative people from our life--or those who make us feel badly. Okay, so how do I remove a sister who just doesn't seem to "GET IT"?!

    We understand, Drea. You just come here whenever you need to vent or feel misunderstood.

    Hugs, Renee

    We, so get it here.
    No, I don't think you're being overly sensitive. And even if you were, you're entitled to be at least once in awhile.

    You are among your own 'kind' here!!! =)
  • Lighthouse_7
    Lighthouse_7 Member Posts: 1,566 Member
    #12
    jendrey said:

    We, so get it here.
    No, I don't think you're being overly sensitive. And even if you were, you're entitled to be at least once in awhile.

    You are among your own 'kind' here!!! =)

    Drea,
    I agree with Renee,
    Drea,
    I agree with Renee, some people just don't get it!! In my opinion, family is usually the ones who don't because they are the closest to us.
    I have a very close knit family and I know they don't understand , because until you have this cancer, you cannot know.

    Wow, that line line is even confusing me! :) I hope you know what I mean.

    I try not to let it bother me now ( noticed I said TRY ) because they love us and don't want to hear that we still might be "sick".
    In their minds, if we don't talk about it and we are finished with treatment, well than everything is fine.

    This is not to say that there aren't insensitive people out there because there sure are.

    We are all here for you.

    Hugs,
    Wanda
  • sbmly53
    sbmly53 Member Posts: 1,522
    #13
    A very good friend just recently said to me
    'you beat it, right? so...' Really? I thought, but didn't say - I feel like I'm just one step ahead of the boogieman in the closet, like I better not stop moving or it'll catch me.
    I tried to explain that is always there, right there with you, but I could see that he didn't understand.

    So, I think, there are 2 groups of people. Those who have experienced cancer, and those who have not.

    Sue
  • aysemari
    aysemari Member Posts: 1,596 Member
    #14
    That would be a BIG FAT NO!
    A cancer diagnosis will change your life forever. And it is a very traumatic experience.
    Take time to process it and decide for yourself how you want to approach this journey.
    Make a plan, empower yourself. How do you want the next few years of your life to be like?
    Ask yourself these tough questions and stick to your answers. Remind yourself of your
    game plan in times you find yourself in a whirlwind of emotions that is part of the journey.

    This place is a great place to come to when you just need to lean on someone or if you
    need serious advice.

    So welcome to the most fabulous club, no one wants to belong to (:

    Hugs,
    Ayse
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    #15
    sbmly53 said:

    A very good friend just recently said to me
    'you beat it, right? so...' Really? I thought, but didn't say - I feel like I'm just one step ahead of the boogieman in the closet, like I better not stop moving or it'll catch me.
    I tried to explain that is always there, right there with you, but I could see that he didn't understand.

    So, I think, there are 2 groups of people. Those who have experienced cancer, and those who have not.

    Sue

    People ask me if its all
    People ask me if its all gone, ? How do I know? the paradox is in some cases it is and some cases it isnt and no one knows. I just say I dont know. then they look at me puzzled. Unless you deal with this you just dont understand.
  • drea3751
    drea3751 Member Posts: 14
    #16
    aysemari said:

    That would be a BIG FAT NO!
    A cancer diagnosis will change your life forever. And it is a very traumatic experience.
    Take time to process it and decide for yourself how you want to approach this journey.
    Make a plan, empower yourself. How do you want the next few years of your life to be like?
    Ask yourself these tough questions and stick to your answers. Remind yourself of your
    game plan in times you find yourself in a whirlwind of emotions that is part of the journey.

    This place is a great place to come to when you just need to lean on someone or if you
    need serious advice.

    So welcome to the most fabulous club, no one wants to belong to (:

    Hugs,
    Ayse

    I really don't know how to
    I really don't know how to feel sometimes when I look far ahead I get scared. And anxious. So I really don't know the answer to the question but I do know I plan to start back in therapy and I am going to take the first step..I have set up an appointment at the local cancer care foundation. Thank u for responding

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