Dad diagnosed Friday. What questions should we ask?

Jenyphero

Hello everyone. I'm new here. My father, 58, was diagnosed with esophageal cancer on Friday. I live in Texas, he's in California, and I am getting the news in bits and pieces, so I'm apologizing in advance if I don't have enough information to give a full picture.

This is what I know: he has been having difficulty eating and has been losing weight since roughly the beginning of February. Two weeks ago it reached a point where he couldn't handle any solids, so he finally went to the MD. They gave him an endoscopy and found a tumor at the base of his esophagus where it enters the stomach. They scheduled a CAT scan and he met with the oncologist on Friday. The cancer has spread to the lymph nodes behind the stomach. He was diagnosed with Stage IV, terminal cancer. The MD said they will not remove the tumor since the lymph is effected and basically told him there is nothing they can do to cure him. He said the chemo treatments will prolong his life for 2-3 months, at best. My father is a 2-3 pack a day smoker and an alchoholic, and I don't think this diagnosis is enough to make him have a drastic lifestyle change, so I'm bracing myself of the possibility that he may not have long for this world. One bonus to the tumor: he can't drink with a G-tube. Haha. I know, that's not really funny, but I have to find the silver lining somewhere.

After reading through some of these posts, however, I think there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I know everybody's cancer and situation is different, so I would like to know some good questions to ask to make sure we have a solid prognosis. I don't understand what constitutes Stage IV or terminal, and I don't know if, even if he chooses to make lifestyle changes, it would be any good at this point. He is going to attempt the chemotherapy, but IV only at this point, and only if the insurance decides to pay. We've been told there's a good chance they won't since he's been diagnosed as terminal.

I would also like to know the cold hard truth of this type of cancer. Being in Texas, I worry about how it will progress and how much time I have left to spend with him. I am going out there in a couple weeks to spend a few days with him, and plan to take a week in July, but I worry that I could be too late. I hate being so negative, but don't want to have false hopes either. Any stories you could share, good or bad, would be very helpful to me.

BMGky

Sorry to hear about your
Sorry to hear about your father's esophageal cancer. There are many on this site that have experience with Stage IV. They should reply to you shortly. Just wanted to let you know your post has been read and to be on the lookout for responses. Our prayers are with your family.