My fathers diagnosis earlier this afternoon......depressing to say the least

Jason1111

Hello all. I am writing to all of you out there to try and lift my families spirits. Accompainied with myself, my sister, my niece, my stepmother, my wife and my father, my father was diagnosed with stage 4 squamous cell carcinoma directly from the specialist. It is in his neck, lymph nodes specifically, a very small spot on the roof of his mouth that has formed in the last month, and a very small spot on the very back of his tongue by his tonsils. The specialist wants him to take another MRI to try and find the source. He is also taking my fathers tonsils out at the same time he takes the nodes out of his neck on May 5th. THe specialist wants to take radiation to the small spot in his throat and seems to be confident that it should do the trick for that portion. However, he gave my father a 50/50 chance that it would show up someplace else in the future. Could someone please try and give me some expectations? My father is 64 years old, and you would never know that anything was wrong with him. He is active from daylight to dark, all of his blood tests are good, nasopharnex (spelling?) is clear, as is his lower throat, and nose (nasopharnyx). This is a big hit on us all as this man is a hero to all of us and had visions of him living a very long and prosperous life. Its hard to talk about and I would appreciate anyones opinions, lessons, words of encouragement, or anything for that matter......thank you.

adventurebob

Encouragement
There are many survivors of cancer just like your father's on this board. Him being active and healthy is going to be a HUGE factor in how well he does in treatment. There is no reason to believe that your father is not going to have a long and prosperous life. This kind of cancer is curable. Statistics are measured in a large controlled group and are best just ignored as they do not take into account the most important things; family, will to live, inner strength. Go into this believing that your father will survive. Make sure he believes it. Make sure his diet and nutrition is the best it has ever been and keep it that way through treatment. Help him stay active with exercise all through treatment. Investigate alternative therapies as compliments to the treatments he will be receiving. Things like: accupuncture, guided imagery, yoga, Chinese herbs, supplements. Educate yourself on everything that is going on. Get second and third opinions on EVERYTHING. Doctors don't always know best. Check out what they tell you with this board and other doctors. Read current books on cancer: "Anti-cancer", "Life over Cancer", "The China Study", "Beating Cancer with Nutrition", "Foods that fight cancer".
He'll get through this with a family like yours supporting him. Ask as many questions as you need to. Welcome to the board.

Bob

Jason1111

adventurebob said:

Encouragement
There are many survivors of cancer just like your father's on this board. Him being active and healthy is going to be a HUGE factor in how well he does in treatment. There is no reason to believe that your father is not going to have a long and prosperous life. This kind of cancer is curable. Statistics are measured in a large controlled group and are best just ignored as they do not take into account the most important things; family, will to live, inner strength. Go into this believing that your father will survive. Make sure he believes it. Make sure his diet and nutrition is the best it has ever been and keep it that way through treatment. Help him stay active with exercise all through treatment. Investigate alternative therapies as compliments to the treatments he will be receiving. Things like: accupuncture, guided imagery, yoga, Chinese herbs, supplements. Educate yourself on everything that is going on. Get second and third opinions on EVERYTHING. Doctors don't always know best. Check out what they tell you with this board and other doctors. Read current books on cancer: "Anti-cancer", "Life over Cancer", "The China Study", "Beating Cancer with Nutrition", "Foods that fight cancer".
He'll get through this with a family like yours supporting him. Ask as many questions as you need to. Welcome to the board.

Bob

You don't know how much this helps.
Thanks for the enlightening words. My father is very strong and active and I have read multiple books cover-to-cover stating that the biggest antidote to this is overall health and spitits and my father has the best of both worlds i believe. In fact I think he can still beat me in the mile and a half run. I am currently military and he is retired military. I have a friend who is a nurse on the and I explained everything to her and she said that the surgery is going to be painful and that he will be eating slushies for quite some time. They are going to cut him from collar bone to collar bone and from each ear lobe down to the collar bone so.........he is going to be sore for a while I am sure. As for the source, it has not been pin-pointed yet. I hope it to be in something that they take out on the 5th of May....we can only hope. By the way, all of this is/has taken place at the Arthur James Cancer Center at Ohio State. i have heard that they are some of the best in the nation on this type of cancer. Again, thanks for the heartfelt suggestions. I will post to this thred as things develop..

I am soo glad I joined

Kent Cass

adventurebob said:

Encouragement
There are many survivors of cancer just like your father's on this board. Him being active and healthy is going to be a HUGE factor in how well he does in treatment. There is no reason to believe that your father is not going to have a long and prosperous life. This kind of cancer is curable. Statistics are measured in a large controlled group and are best just ignored as they do not take into account the most important things; family, will to live, inner strength. Go into this believing that your father will survive. Make sure he believes it. Make sure his diet and nutrition is the best it has ever been and keep it that way through treatment. Help him stay active with exercise all through treatment. Investigate alternative therapies as compliments to the treatments he will be receiving. Things like: accupuncture, guided imagery, yoga, Chinese herbs, supplements. Educate yourself on everything that is going on. Get second and third opinions on EVERYTHING. Doctors don't always know best. Check out what they tell you with this board and other doctors. Read current books on cancer: "Anti-cancer", "Life over Cancer", "The China Study", "Beating Cancer with Nutrition", "Foods that fight cancer".
He'll get through this with a family like yours supporting him. Ask as many questions as you need to. Welcome to the board.

Bob

Jason
Not to worry- your Father will survive this. Compared to some others, like Sash, Joe and Hondo and Sweet, for instance, his C just may pale in comparison. Know it's a shock, and does take some getting used-to, but he'll be okay. The only complication you have given us is, possibly, his age- though I doubt it will be a negative factor. I was 54, and it seems like most of us are in the 50s; however, I do know of others who were older, and did just as well.

I am NPC, unknown Primary. Your ENT mentioned his C eventually showing elsewhere? That's where Chemo comes into play. Needs to get a PetScan, which is specifically designed to show any spots of size where C already dwells. You need to have your ENT work with the Oncologist and Radiologist to form a plan on what's best to take care of this. If it's in the Lymphs- seems to me that's a calling for Chemo. Radiation kills the C where it is applied, but the Chemo is more whole body- fights the C no matter where it dwells, or is trying to start-up.

We, here, are living proof that H&N with C&R, and sometimes an Op, can be survived very well. I'm 24-months, post-treatment, now, and returned to work a month after my last rad, so long ago. AND THIS IS 2011, and H&N C treatment has made great advances over the course of the last ten years. It is no walk in the park, though- it can get a bit rough at times. Thing is- those rough times are just punk obstacles in the road, Jason. Nothing more, in the end. He's gonna survive this thing, and life after treatment can be very good, indeed. The Drs. will help him get thru the rough times, as will you and those who love him, and he'll get past this C thing okay, as we all have.

Sorry that you find yourself here with your Dad- but you are most welcome to be here. Any questions or concerns- please let us know about. That's the main reason we are here. Gonna be a lot thrown your way in a short time, and one of us will know exactly what's what that will help you, because he/she has been there. All you gotta do is let us know of the issue.

Believe

kcass

Jason1111

Kent Cass said:

Jason
Not to worry- your Father will survive this. Compared to some others, like Sash, Joe and Hondo and Sweet, for instance, his C just may pale in comparison. Know it's a shock, and does take some getting used-to, but he'll be okay. The only complication you have given us is, possibly, his age- though I doubt it will be a negative factor. I was 54, and it seems like most of us are in the 50s; however, I do know of others who were older, and did just as well.

I am NPC, unknown Primary. Your ENT mentioned his C eventually showing elsewhere? That's where Chemo comes into play. Needs to get a PetScan, which is specifically designed to show any spots of size where C already dwells. You need to have your ENT work with the Oncologist and Radiologist to form a plan on what's best to take care of this. If it's in the Lymphs- seems to me that's a calling for Chemo. Radiation kills the C where it is applied, but the Chemo is more whole body- fights the C no matter where it dwells, or is trying to start-up.

We, here, are living proof that H&N with C&R, and sometimes an Op, can be survived very well. I'm 24-months, post-treatment, now, and returned to work a month after my last rad, so long ago. AND THIS IS 2011, and H&N C treatment has made great advances over the course of the last ten years. It is no walk in the park, though- it can get a bit rough at times. Thing is- those rough times are just punk obstacles in the road, Jason. Nothing more, in the end. He's gonna survive this thing, and life after treatment can be very good, indeed. The Drs. will help him get thru the rough times, as will you and those who love him, and he'll get past this C thing okay, as we all have.

Sorry that you find yourself here with your Dad- but you are most welcome to be here. Any questions or concerns- please let us know about. That's the main reason we are here. Gonna be a lot thrown your way in a short time, and one of us will know exactly what's what that will help you, because he/she has been there. All you gotta do is let us know of the issue.

Believe

kcass

Thank You!
Thanks kcass.. Its just a waiting game for the time being thats for sure. However, being part of this thread has helped a bunch. Coming out of that hospital felt like a sledge hit all of us. I have been a part of this site for about 3 hours now and already feel better about the outcome. Its amazing how assuring one can feel when they can actually talk and hear of people with the same issues as your loved one. I just handed the laptop to my father to have him read what you have wrote. His first worde were," How did you find this?" It made him feel better as well.

Thanks again!!!! This really does help!! :-)

fisrpotpe

Not a Percentage
Jason, I will share with you what my doctor said to me over 15 years ago when he told me I have Cancer. I asked him what my chances are and he said son we are not percentage people, we do not walk around and say there goes a certain percent person. He continued by saying we have two chances live or die and your going to live as long as you keep a positive attitude.

This is the short version with much more after the above. back then the team of doctors I had believed that whipping cancer was done mostly with a huge positive attitude and ya know I went with it and fought like hell and I am still here. If you like your doctor go with his plan, follow it and fight the war and your father will win.

I had the same SCC with unknown primary, nodes were in neck only golf ball size (5) wrapped around the carotid. Chemo & radiation at same time then surgery after.

Four things to use, Positive Mental Attitude..... Believe..... Never, Never, Never Give Up.... Keep You Faith no matter what.

John

Hondo

Hi Jason

I am sorry to hear that your Dad is having this problem with cancer, but know this that he can survive it and possible live to be 100. I have fought this fight 3 times now and my last chance was less then a 10% survival rate that was 6 years ago. I still have problems but it is not the cancer it is the side affects but hell I am still alive.

No joking Jason it will be hard on your Dad and he will need all the help and support he can get from all of his family. You my friend are now one of his caretaker like my wife and daughter was to me, with out them I could not have done it. Your Dad will need you it is a ruff ride but when it is over it will be worth the price.

God bless and be with all your Family and Dad
Hondo

joeline12

Hondo said:

Hi Jason

I am sorry to hear that your Dad is having this problem with cancer, but know this that he can survive it and possible live to be 100. I have fought this fight 3 times now and my last chance was less then a 10% survival rate that was 6 years ago. I still have problems but it is not the cancer it is the side affects but hell I am still alive.

No joking Jason it will be hard on your Dad and he will need all the help and support he can get from all of his family. You my friend are now one of his caretaker like my wife and daughter was to me, with out them I could not have done it. Your Dad will need you it is a ruff ride but when it is over it will be worth the price.

God bless and be with all your Family and Dad
Hondo

Have Faith!! Jason
hi Jason

6 years ago my dad face the same thing as what yr dad is facing now. remission till recently the beast seem to find a comfortable place in his lung. i am not trying to scare you. but just wan to tell you. 6 year ago my dad beat beast and with modern technology and new trial these day. control of the cancer is very high. it will be tough when the treatment being but time will flies fast too. not before you know, he already complete his treatment. its easy to say then to be done. but please have faith..
take care!!

Jason1111

Hondo said:

Hi Jason

I am sorry to hear that your Dad is having this problem with cancer, but know this that he can survive it and possible live to be 100. I have fought this fight 3 times now and my last chance was less then a 10% survival rate that was 6 years ago. I still have problems but it is not the cancer it is the side affects but hell I am still alive.

No joking Jason it will be hard on your Dad and he will need all the help and support he can get from all of his family. You my friend are now one of his caretaker like my wife and daughter was to me, with out them I could not have done it. Your Dad will need you it is a ruff ride but when it is over it will be worth the price.

God bless and be with all your Family and Dad
Hondo

Thank You!
Thank you John and Hondo. Its all sounding better and better the more posts I receive. To John: My father has (2) nodes in his neck that are between 2 and 3 cm, and 2 or 3 more that are less than pea size. There is soo much running through all of our minds right now. We are in the same state of shock that everyone on here has had at one point in time or another. I don't ever wish this feeling on anyone as it is mentally draining. I find myself on the computer buying books and looking for cutting edge research and technology on this topic. It seems as I can never find enough, or research enough to obtain the answer in which we are all looking for. The hardest is not knowing.

To Hondo: You are a survivor thats obvious. All of you are my mentors now as someday in the near future I hope to relate to someone else what I am going through now, as all of you are doing to me. It is all very thoughtful, hopeful, and encouraging and I cannot thank you all enough for your expectations, thoughts, advice, and survivor stories. It truely is making a mor positive additude in this household and I thank you all for that!!!!


Jason

Jason1111

joeline12 said:

Have Faith!! Jason
hi Jason

6 years ago my dad face the same thing as what yr dad is facing now. remission till recently the beast seem to find a comfortable place in his lung. i am not trying to scare you. but just wan to tell you. 6 year ago my dad beat beast and with modern technology and new trial these day. control of the cancer is very high. it will be tough when the treatment being but time will flies fast too. not before you know, he already complete his treatment. its easy to say then to be done. but please have faith..
take care!!

Thank you!
Hi Joeline, If anyone can whip it, i think it would be my father. he is strong, healthy, active, and to be honest with you, the absolute last person anyone thought would sucome of this. I love the positive additude everyone has here and will be sure to post everything that happens as it happens so everyone here knows.

By the way, how is your father now?? "C" free I hope??

joeline12

Jason1111 said:

Thank you!
Hi Joeline, If anyone can whip it, i think it would be my father. he is strong, healthy, active, and to be honest with you, the absolute last person anyone thought would sucome of this. I love the positive additude everyone has here and will be sure to post everything that happens as it happens so everyone here knows.

By the way, how is your father now?? "C" free I hope??

he just went for biopsy
he just went for biopsy yesterday for his lung.. waiting to see the doc on 05 May 2011. well i don expect good result but still trying to think positive..:)

Jason1111

joeline12 said:

he just went for biopsy
he just went for biopsy yesterday for his lung.. waiting to see the doc on 05 May 2011. well i don expect good result but still trying to think positive..:)

Hope and Prayers are with you!!
Well, now I can relate. I hope all goes well with this. i will be thinking of your father as my father goes in for his surgery on the same day!! You stay positive and I will do the same..

brigboo67

Jason1111 said:

Thank You!
Thank you John and Hondo. Its all sounding better and better the more posts I receive. To John: My father has (2) nodes in his neck that are between 2 and 3 cm, and 2 or 3 more that are less than pea size. There is soo much running through all of our minds right now. We are in the same state of shock that everyone on here has had at one point in time or another. I don't ever wish this feeling on anyone as it is mentally draining. I find myself on the computer buying books and looking for cutting edge research and technology on this topic. It seems as I can never find enough, or research enough to obtain the answer in which we are all looking for. The hardest is not knowing.

To Hondo: You are a survivor thats obvious. All of you are my mentors now as someday in the near future I hope to relate to someone else what I am going through now, as all of you are doing to me. It is all very thoughtful, hopeful, and encouraging and I cannot thank you all enough for your expectations, thoughts, advice, and survivor stories. It truely is making a mor positive additude in this household and I thank you all for that!!!!


Jason

I know how you feel
I was in your shoes two weeks ago...setting in a room with the ENT, my dad, my mom and my sister learning my mom has stage 4a base of tongue cancer with two neck nodes that are 2Cm and a few pea size nodes also. It rocks your whole world. What makes it even worse is that my dad has been battling renal cell carcinoma for 3 yrs and his last CT showed the lymph nodes in his retroperineal are growing...I never thought that I would have both parents battling cancer at the sametime. I cannot even imagine my life without them. This site too has brought me some comfort to know this is beatable...Say some prayers for my parents and I will say one for your dad.

Jason1111

brigboo67 said:

I know how you feel
I was in your shoes two weeks ago...setting in a room with the ENT, my dad, my mom and my sister learning my mom has stage 4a base of tongue cancer with two neck nodes that are 2Cm and a few pea size nodes also. It rocks your whole world. What makes it even worse is that my dad has been battling renal cell carcinoma for 3 yrs and his last CT showed the lymph nodes in his retroperineal are growing...I never thought that I would have both parents battling cancer at the sametime. I cannot even imagine my life without them. This site too has brought me some comfort to know this is beatable...Say some prayers for my parents and I will say one for your dad.

OMGosh!!
I am so very sorry to hear that. I still cannot believe that I have 1 parent going through it let alone both of them! It must be devistating for you and your family! WOW! i don't even know what to say or how to approach it. All of you are definately in our prayers! As I have learned in a very short time on this site, STAY POSITIVE no matter how much you hurt inside. If your parents see positive reinforcement out of you and other family members it will make them stronger and give them more determination, but I am sure that you already knew that....

We here hope all turns out well for you..

Thanks
Jason

joeline12

Jason1111 said:

Hope and Prayers are with you!!
Well, now I can relate. I hope all goes well with this. i will be thinking of your father as my father goes in for his surgery on the same day!! You stay positive and I will do the same..

AGREE!!
ya man!!.. both dad seeing doc on same day.. both of us name start with the letter J and also have no.1 in the nick.. let face it bravely on 5 may!!!

Jason1111

joeline12 said:

AGREE!!
ya man!!.. both dad seeing doc on same day.. both of us name start with the letter J and also have no.1 in the nick.. let face it bravely on 5 may!!!

AMEN!!
AMEN to that my friend...

MarineE5

You found the right place
Jason,

As you already mentioned, you have found a very good site to find information and have questions answered by those that have walked the path your Dad is about to take. There are also many Caregivers that will be helpful for your family as to what they did to help the person going through the Surgery and Treatments.

You mentioned that you are currently Military and your Dad is retired Military, allow me to Thank both of you for your Service to our Country. I would also like to Thank your family members as well, they keep the home front organized when the Service member is deployed.

It has already been mentioned above, that the stats or exactly just that, stats. Many of the stats are outdated. I know years ago when I first found out that I had Base of Tongue cancer, I searched the Web for numbers for survival rates, put my head into a tailspin. As you witnessed here, there are many that have been through this more then once and are doing well. Your Dad is basically my age and he will get through this. As mentioned a positive attitude will help greatly.

As you are Military, you might get a little chuckle out of this. When I was in Boot Camp, there was a task that I couldn't do. My Senior Drill instructor asked me what my problem was and I answered that I couldn't do the task. He stepped closer and yelled that there was only 3 things a Marine can't do. 1-Slam a revolving door 2- Strike a match on a wet bar of soap 3- Put used toothpaste back into a used toothpaste tube, anything else a Marine can do. I did the task. I am still in contact with my Senior D.I.

When I heard the words " You Have Cancer " and my world started to spin, I remembered those words from long ago. I can do this and will do this. I, like many here are out of treatment for many years. I am over 6 years out now.

So, as the days go by and you have questions, shout them out and someone will answer.

My Best to Both of You and Everyone Here

Ron49

Hey Jason
I am so sorry to
Hey Jason

I am so sorry to hear about your Dad but happy for you that you have found this resource. My husband Ron just finished up treatment of Squamous Cell Carcinoma - no known primary - had surgery Jan 3 to remove the tumor and his tonsils. He started cisplatin chemo and 7 weeks radiation therapy on Feb 14. Just finished up April 1. The only advice I can give you is to support your Dad and rally your family to surround him with love and prayers. He will do great and it sounds and feels like he has a great support group in all of you already. This is an extremely scary and emotional time but Keeping a postive mental outlook and having as much knowledge as you can are your best tools.

Ron and I will keep you and your family in our prayers and please ask questions when you are not sure. The people on this website have been angels to my husband and I and we could not have gotten this far without them. Such an amazing group!

Hugs
Robyn & Ron

Jason1111

MarineE5 said:

You found the right place
Jason,

As you already mentioned, you have found a very good site to find information and have questions answered by those that have walked the path your Dad is about to take. There are also many Caregivers that will be helpful for your family as to what they did to help the person going through the Surgery and Treatments.

You mentioned that you are currently Military and your Dad is retired Military, allow me to Thank both of you for your Service to our Country. I would also like to Thank your family members as well, they keep the home front organized when the Service member is deployed.

It has already been mentioned above, that the stats or exactly just that, stats. Many of the stats are outdated. I know years ago when I first found out that I had Base of Tongue cancer, I searched the Web for numbers for survival rates, put my head into a tailspin. As you witnessed here, there are many that have been through this more then once and are doing well. Your Dad is basically my age and he will get through this. As mentioned a positive attitude will help greatly.

As you are Military, you might get a little chuckle out of this. When I was in Boot Camp, there was a task that I couldn't do. My Senior Drill instructor asked me what my problem was and I answered that I couldn't do the task. He stepped closer and yelled that there was only 3 things a Marine can't do. 1-Slam a revolving door 2- Strike a match on a wet bar of soap 3- Put used toothpaste back into a used toothpaste tube, anything else a Marine can do. I did the task. I am still in contact with my Senior D.I.

When I heard the words " You Have Cancer " and my world started to spin, I remembered those words from long ago. I can do this and will do this. I, like many here are out of treatment for many years. I am over 6 years out now.

So, as the days go by and you have questions, shout them out and someone will answer.

My Best to Both of You and Everyone Here

Thank You
Well if those 3 things are the only things that a Marine can't do, then this country is in good hands thats for sure. Your right, it did give me a little chuckle. My father is retired Army after 27 years, and I am quickly approaching my 16th year in the Air Force and I greatly appreciate the thoughts and appreciation that the public has given to its Military members. It is not always an easy job, but someone has to do it. It is always encouraging to hear people say how much they appreciate us! Thank you!

There is a personal type of additude that my father and I both have. Probable the way he and I were both raised. We both grew up on a farm, working from daylight to dark, and doing what was necessary to get the job done. We do not look at obsticles is the fashion of what we can do to sidestep it, but rather what is it going to take to get the job done. As some people will take more time to try and get out of doing something, then what it would actually take to have done the job right in the first place.

Where am I getting at?? What I am trying to say is this. There has never been anything that my father and i cannot do. Instead of looking at the glass as half empty, we both look at it as half full and ask ourselves what is it going to take to get the job done and we just do it. No matter if it is tough or not. Most things that are worth doing are tough and i am sure that this is no different. That is the way we both have always been and will continue to be.

I know this hurdle is one that cn be overcome. With dilligence, a positive mental state, and loving family members as I have, it will be just another stepping stone in life as no two lives are the same.

Thank you for your words of advice, I greatly appreciate it!!

Jason1111

Ron49 said:

Hey Jason
I am so sorry to
Hey Jason

I am so sorry to hear about your Dad but happy for you that you have found this resource. My husband Ron just finished up treatment of Squamous Cell Carcinoma - no known primary - had surgery Jan 3 to remove the tumor and his tonsils. He started cisplatin chemo and 7 weeks radiation therapy on Feb 14. Just finished up April 1. The only advice I can give you is to support your Dad and rally your family to surround him with love and prayers. He will do great and it sounds and feels like he has a great support group in all of you already. This is an extremely scary and emotional time but Keeping a postive mental outlook and having as much knowledge as you can are your best tools.

Ron and I will keep you and your family in our prayers and please ask questions when you are not sure. The people on this website have been angels to my husband and I and we could not have gotten this far without them. Such an amazing group!

Hugs
Robyn & Ron

Thank You!!
Thank you very much! I hope that Ron is doing well after all of his chemo? It is tough, and a shock as I am sure it was to all on this board. This is all so very helpful and my family and I appreciate all the positive additude very much!! It truely is a miracle as to what love and support can and will do..

Thank you again and I hope Ron does well!!

Thanks
Jason

backachedp

Jason1111 said:

Thank You!!
Thank you very much! I hope that Ron is doing well after all of his chemo? It is tough, and a shock as I am sure it was to all on this board. This is all so very helpful and my family and I appreciate all the positive additude very much!! It truely is a miracle as to what love and support can and will do..

Thank you again and I hope Ron does well!!

Thanks
Jason

Jason
You have come to the most Wonderful place with the most incredible people..they helped me mpre than I could ever imagine....I am so glad I found this great group of folks...I knew before my Husband things that would happen...all because of the wonderful people here who helped us thru this Battle. I truly Thank everyone on here for what they did for Bob and I...I would read post after post and learn so much...I am sorry you had to come here, but you are in a very GOOD place...