Daughters that have lost their mothers.
I haven't been around in a long while, but I still do look over the boards on occasion. I thought I should come back and be with the ladies that have support me during my mom's 7 month battle with Ovarian Cancer.
I'm living with my dad and have been since my mom passed in December 2009. I have a pet bunny that keeps me company. I believe that she is my mom.. she acts like her, even has black hair like my mom did. She has a sweet tooth too (only one raisin or strawberry slice a day for her!) just like my mom.
I started working at a grocer as a Cashier. The cashier is the last person they see in the store so I have to leave a good impression of the store's image So far, so good. I speak to many different people.
I spoke to a wife whose spouse passed away and how the son's way of coping with it was to hide food and eat it.
It reminded me of myself. I have always been thin, and never worked out, but after my mom's passing, I gained 15 pounds (I have my mother's body, so when I gain weight, it goes directly to my hips, and thighs LOL) from eating out of distress. When I moved in with my dad, I could not stop eating. But I got tired of it one day. I realized that I want to eat better, and stay alive. I am fairly young, almost 24, but I want to live past my mother's age.
My dad goes to the gym a lot, so I signed up. I go 2-3 times a week (it has been more hectic since starting my new job) and I'm a vitamin popper. I take multivitamin, fish oil, vitamin b12, and fiber. I'm going to add calcium and vitamin d soon (due to the lack of sunlight here in Washington state haha!) to my regimen. I stay away from fast food, and eat smaller amounts of meat. I even eat some of my dad's vegeterian stuff
I do get my CA125 tested yearly. My doctor WANTS me to. I had an issue with a benign cyst and had to see my doctor, but he wasn't in that day. I was put with another (this was this year) and I asked to get my CA125 tested and she said "You are too young!" I said back to her "My regular wants me to get it done yearly." Uh huh.
I just signed up for my first Ovarian Cancer Walk in Seattle : ) I'm super excited. It is a 2 mile walk. I just bought a waist pouch bag to carry my cell phone and some water. I don't usually like name brands, but my mom bought me my first Harajuku Lovers bag - and I saw the waist pouch bag is HJ and on clearance (even better). It is the small things that remind me of her and make me honor her.
My boyfriend's parents usually get me something for my birthday in May, but I am going to tell them to use that money to sponsor me in the OVCA walk.
I went very off topic but, back to my job. There was another customer that had told me that.. it has been a long time since she lost her parents and it is very hard for her to deal with, even now. She asked me if I am okay. I said yes, but there are some days that I do cry. Something will trigger it - music, thoughts, photographs. Hawaiian music (my mom and I were both born in Hawaii) is a source of theraphy for me.
There was a lady that came through the line with her daughter. The mother had a black shirt with a pink ribbon on it and I instantly felt connected with her. We talked and laughed. I said "I will see you soon."
I feel like losing my mom has helped me connect with people I thought I never would. It makes me smile, and helps me think the world isn't so bad after all.
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