Another weekend!

Stargzr
Stargzr Member Posts: 47
in Grief and Bereavement #1
This is when I feel the loss of my husband 24-7. Weekends used to be so wonderful. We didn't have to do anything special - sometimes on a rainy day, we would just curl up on the sofa and watch old movies. Now, I'm trying to find projects (anything) to stay busy.

Comments

  • Pennymac02
    Pennymac02 Member Posts: 332 Member
    #2
    Yup
    Star, I've refinished, reupholstered, painted, shopped, got a dog, walk the dog, bathe the dog, brush the dog, eat, shop, nap, and still it's the same. I don't look forward to the weekends anymore. I do get to catch up on sleep though, since its hard to work 40 hours a week on 2-3 hours of sleep a night. Weekends and late nights both suck.
    Penny
  • luz del lago
    luz del lago Member Posts: 449
    #3
    Pennymac02 said:

    Yup
    Star, I've refinished, reupholstered, painted, shopped, got a dog, walk the dog, bathe the dog, brush the dog, eat, shop, nap, and still it's the same. I don't look forward to the weekends anymore. I do get to catch up on sleep though, since its hard to work 40 hours a week on 2-3 hours of sleep a night. Weekends and late nights both suck.
    Penny

    Me too...
    I am volunteering to work for free this weekend, just so I don't have to sit and stare at the empty spot on the patio loveseat, that Dennis used to sit on!

    Penny, I just power washed, sanded, primed and painted the entire back porch this week! It felt wonderful to have accomplished all that myself, but when I was done, he wasn't there to bring me a cold drink, hug and kiss me and tell me how beautiful it looks. That pretty much knocked the wind from my sails.

    I know that soon I must start doing these things for the pleasure it brings me, and only me. Everyone tells me how good I'm doing, and I suppose the alternative would be huddled in bed, not wanting to do anything, so, I guess that's good. But inside, so much keeps churning. Missing him, missing our life. I was the other half of a pair, now who, what am I?

    All part of this new journey, I suppose. Ladies, please try to have a better weekend than last. I will also try. Take care.

    Lucy
  • Beckymarie
    Beckymarie Member Posts: 357
    #4
    luz del lago said:

    Me too...
    I am volunteering to work for free this weekend, just so I don't have to sit and stare at the empty spot on the patio loveseat, that Dennis used to sit on!

    Penny, I just power washed, sanded, primed and painted the entire back porch this week! It felt wonderful to have accomplished all that myself, but when I was done, he wasn't there to bring me a cold drink, hug and kiss me and tell me how beautiful it looks. That pretty much knocked the wind from my sails.

    I know that soon I must start doing these things for the pleasure it brings me, and only me. Everyone tells me how good I'm doing, and I suppose the alternative would be huddled in bed, not wanting to do anything, so, I guess that's good. But inside, so much keeps churning. Missing him, missing our life. I was the other half of a pair, now who, what am I?

    All part of this new journey, I suppose. Ladies, please try to have a better weekend than last. I will also try. Take care.

    Lucy

    Weekends
    They are definitely a challenge. We were into bike riding and would take long rides either Saturday or Sunday. I haven't been on a bike since he died. I take the same approach as the rest of you, work when I can get the hours, clean, projects. I am on a mission to get rid of stuff we've accumulated over the past 20 years in this house. Need to keep busy....I think that is the key. Peace to all.
    Becky
  • mswijiknyc
    mswijiknyc Member Posts: 421
    #5
    Opposite effect
    For being young, Pat was an old man before his time. He rarely wanted to go anywhere. Weekends are when he was in the house the most, and if I wasn't working so was I. I feel Pat more on the weekends when I'm home. I feel the loss more at night, any night, than during any time during the week.
  • 3Mana
    3Mana Member Posts: 811
    #6
    Weekends suck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I hate weekends!!! We always used to do something or like you said if the weather was lousy, we'd just stay home, watch TV and snuggle. Today is gloomy and supposed to get severe storms tonite & tomorrow which I always hated. But now that I"m alone I hate storms even more & wished that Tom could still be here with me. I'm still pissed off that this happened to him. He always took such good care of himself, ate right, excercised and didn't do any good and it's just not fair. Wish I could get over this bitter feeling that I have. I prayed so hard when he got sick that he'd survive and my prayers weren't answered. Guess we'll just have to find something to fill the void that we have in our lives without our beloved husbands. Take care!! Carole
  • neverquit
    neverquit Member Posts: 220 Member
    #7
    I think I am in Hell!
    Star, Lucy, Penny, Becky, April and Carole, Sounds like there is a lot of company in this boat. Ski Patrolling kept me busy during Feb. and March on the weekends and our friends made sure I was with one of them at night. By the time I would hit the bed, I was out cold. The last Patrol day last Sunday, I cried as I did my final trail sweep at the end of the day/season. Mike and I would always try to do the last sweep of the season together. It SUCKED that he was not there with me (although I could actually feel him on the slope next to me - sounds crazy I guess).

    Now, that the warmer weather is here, this is when (like many of you have said) Mike and I used to do the outside work together if it was nice. And if it was crappy out, we too would just hang out and watch movies or listen to music snuggled up. I too am trying to keep busy, but so many things remind me of our life together.

    Carole, Like Tom, Mike also kept fit, active ate pretty much the "right" stuff, etc.. Makes you wonder............

    Take care everyone and peace to you all.
  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633 Member
    #8
    Time
    It does get easier. I do take advantage of every weekend invitation. Right now I'm in Reno for a granddaughter's volleyball tournament. Keeping busy is the key. Of course, my husband never got weekends off until later in his career. Since we were both retired, we did most things together during the week. Those shared days were wonderful. That is the big thing I miss, the sharing. Fay
  • neverquit
    neverquit Member Posts: 220 Member
    #9
    grandmafay said:

    Time
    It does get easier. I do take advantage of every weekend invitation. Right now I'm in Reno for a granddaughter's volleyball tournament. Keeping busy is the key. Of course, my husband never got weekends off until later in his career. Since we were both retired, we did most things together during the week. Those shared days were wonderful. That is the big thing I miss, the sharing. Fay

    Thanks Fay for telling me
    Thanks Fay for telling me that it will get easier. It really means a lot more coming from someone who knows because they have been through it (sadly).

    That is the thing I miss the most too; the sharing. Mike and I shared A LOT. Many things mean so little now that he is not here to share with.

    I hope you are having a great time in Reno; that sounds like fun and I bet your granddaughter is very happy you are there with her to share her experience with her. That is where it is tough for me, as we did not have kids. Mike and I always wanted kids, but it never happened. Thank goodness most of the nieces and nephews live within 10 miles of me and they are getting married and having grandnieces and nephews. Still, I miss sharing my life with Mike.

    Take care and thanks again.

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