My mom lost her battle with Ovarian cancer today.

ChrisMcG
ChrisMcG Member Posts: 18
My beloved mom, my hero, my best friend, died this morning. 11 months after she was diagnosed to the day. My family is fortunate that we were prepared for the death, better than a sudden death.

I know she loved me very much, but my biggest fear is that she didn't know how much I loved her. That is tearing me apart inside, I really hope she realized how much she meant to me.

I am devastated, my whole family is. I don't know what to do next.

ANy advice would be great.

I feel that things can only get better from here. I feel like I've hit rock bottom

Thanks. -Chris

Comments

  • poopergirl14052
    poopergirl14052 Member Posts: 1,183 Member
    Chris I am so very sorry
    I know your mom knew you loved her very much. It is so hard to lose a loved one. Take one day at a timw and you need your whole family to help you through this ordeal. We on this site are also here for you and feel your pain. We have lost several sister in the last few months.and just last week a husband lost his wife. So cry and let it out. God bless you and your family and your mom...val
  • kikz
    kikz Member Posts: 1,345 Member

    Chris I am so very sorry
    I know your mom knew you loved her very much. It is so hard to lose a loved one. Take one day at a timw and you need your whole family to help you through this ordeal. We on this site are also here for you and feel your pain. We have lost several sister in the last few months.and just last week a husband lost his wife. So cry and let it out. God bless you and your family and your mom...val

    I am so sorry for your loss.
    I am sure your mom knew exactly how you felt about her. There are really no words I can say that can take away the pain you are feeling. It is so cliche but time is the only healer. I have gone through a few difficult times in the last few years and each time I thought I couldn't get past the grief. But I did in time. Talk to people. Talk as much as you need to. Find someone who will listen to whatever you need to say at that moment. Let your feelings out, whether it be sadness, anger or helplessness. And as the last person told you, we are hear for you anytime you need us.

    Karen
  • clamryn
    clamryn Member Posts: 508
    Dear Chris
    Dear Chris, I am so sorry. I feel your mom knew that you loved her. Keep her alive in your heart. Write your memories down to pass along to others in the family. Talk about her. Think about all the things that she shared with you. Think about the times you cried and the times you laughed. We are all here for you.

    Take care,
    Linda
  • cfont11
    cfont11 Member Posts: 115
    Sorry for your loss
    I am so sorry for your loss. I am sure your Mom knew how much you loved her. My Mom passed away in 2004 and I did not get to say goodbye or tell her how much I loved her, but yet I am sure she knew, just as your Mom did. My family still grieves and misses her but we are able to talk about all the good times our family had, look at old pictures and laugh and share stories with her siblings. As others have said, it will take time to deal with your loss. Each family and individual handles grief differently but I hope you will be there to support each other. We honor my Mom in some way at Thanksgiving each year as that was the one holiday when our family could be all together. You will find your own way to keep her memory alive for the family. Prayers go out to you and your family and lets hope that a cure is found soon for this terrible disease.
    Chris
  • pattysoo
    pattysoo Member Posts: 170
    Condolences
    I'm so sorry for your loss. I know your mom felt loved by you. I can tell by the way you speak of her. Give yourself time to process it all, grieving takes a bit of time and is a way to fix that love in a permanent place. At least, that's how I felt when my own mother died. I spent a number of days sitting on the porch, staring at the woods around my house and just feeling.
  • kellyh33
    kellyh33 Member Posts: 287
    Mom
    First let me say how sorry I am. Of course your mom knew how much you loved her just like you know how much she loved you.
    I wish I had some magical words to make the hurt go away but I don't, it will diminish over time and you will get through it.
    Know that your mom was proud of you and very lucky to have you by her side.
    Kelly
  • LaundryQueen
    LaundryQueen Member Posts: 676
    kellyh33 said:

    Mom
    First let me say how sorry I am. Of course your mom knew how much you loved her just like you know how much she loved you.
    I wish I had some magical words to make the hurt go away but I don't, it will diminish over time and you will get through it.
    Know that your mom was proud of you and very lucky to have you by her side.
    Kelly

    You will never forget your mom
    I believe a person's spirit lives on and that your mother certainly knows the depth of your love for her.

    Perhaps doing something symbolic in your mom's memory will help you to deal with her passing although you will never forget her.
  • Cindy Bear
    Cindy Bear Member Posts: 569
    I am sorry
    I am so sorry for your loss. I know how painful this is for you.. I lost my mother to uterine cancer in 2009. She has been diagnosed in Feb. and 4 mos. later she was gone. I think because she had cancer, and it was stage IV, people think we were prepared and it wasn't a shock. It was, because we were told she was getting better, and then suddenly she was gone... just like that. We were left holding the bag.. a lot of questions and no real answers. I too have spent many sleepless nights, wondering, did she know that I loved her or how much I loved her, did she know... a lot of woulda, coulda, shouldas... I think it's normal to feel that way, and I have to believe that our moms did know how much we loved them. You might want to visit the emotional support and grief and bereavement boards as well. A wonderful group of people, who know what you're going thru and can help you immensely. They helped me.
    Hugs,
    Cindy
  • kayandok
    kayandok Member Posts: 1,202 Member
    Dear Chris,
    I am so sorry for your huge loss! I have no doubt in my mind she knew how much you loved her and that is why she has hung on so long.
    Your memoies of her and how much she loved you will keep you going.
    Take care my friend,
    kathleen❤
  • eward
    eward Member Posts: 210
    hug
    Sending a hug to you. I am so sorry to hear this. I am sure your mom knows how much you love her.
  • anicca
    anicca Member Posts: 334 Member
    Dear Chris,
    I am so sorry

    Dear Chris,

    I am so sorry you have lost your mom. Just that fact that you fear she might not have known how much you loved her tells me that she really did know. Of course, she knew, and of course, it feels like rock bottom to you. Losing a beloved parent is such a great shock, even when we know it is coming. I'm sure you know, it takes time to stop constantly feeling the pain. Keep your great love for her in your heart and keep on being the person I'm sure she was proud of. If there is anything we moms want, it is for our kids to be happy and live productive lives. She will live on in your memory and in who you are.
  • fearbob
    fearbob Member Posts: 21 Member
    anicca said:

    Dear Chris,
    I am so sorry

    Dear Chris,

    I am so sorry you have lost your mom. Just that fact that you fear she might not have known how much you loved her tells me that she really did know. Of course, she knew, and of course, it feels like rock bottom to you. Losing a beloved parent is such a great shock, even when we know it is coming. I'm sure you know, it takes time to stop constantly feeling the pain. Keep your great love for her in your heart and keep on being the person I'm sure she was proud of. If there is anything we moms want, it is for our kids to be happy and live productive lives. She will live on in your memory and in who you are.

    thoughts and prayers out to
    thoughts and prayers out to you and a candle is lit !

    so sorry to hear this
  • ChrisMcG
    ChrisMcG Member Posts: 18
    Thank you so much
    Thank you so much to everyone that commented. Every single comment helped.

    This is by the far the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. It's been 11 months of hell.

    I'm sick of being sad, crying, seeing depression, putting on a happy face in public. I'm ready for it all to be over.

    I miss my mom, and nothing will ever bring her back. But knowing that there are so many other people who have gone through the same exact situation makes it much easier.


    Thanks again to everyone. It really does help.
  • Lisa13Q
    Lisa13Q Member Posts: 677
    ChrisMcG said:

    Thank you so much
    Thank you so much to everyone that commented. Every single comment helped.

    This is by the far the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. It's been 11 months of hell.

    I'm sick of being sad, crying, seeing depression, putting on a happy face in public. I'm ready for it all to be over.

    I miss my mom, and nothing will ever bring her back. But knowing that there are so many other people who have gone through the same exact situation makes it much easier.


    Thanks again to everyone. It really does help.

    Dear Chris
    I am so sorry to hear about your Mom...it sounds like you have already made some peace with it. My Mom is on the same road....and I pray that I can be as strong as you...I hope you were able to make many wonderful memories.......today I drove 20 miles to get Mom her favorite chicken soup......the whole time all I could think about how sad I was going to be when I wouldn't need to do that pain in the neck drive.....I am so sorry for your loss....Lisa
  • hopeful girl 1
    hopeful girl 1 Member Posts: 454
    Lisa13Q said:

    Dear Chris
    I am so sorry to hear about your Mom...it sounds like you have already made some peace with it. My Mom is on the same road....and I pray that I can be as strong as you...I hope you were able to make many wonderful memories.......today I drove 20 miles to get Mom her favorite chicken soup......the whole time all I could think about how sad I was going to be when I wouldn't need to do that pain in the neck drive.....I am so sorry for your loss....Lisa

    My thoughts are with you
    Chris,
    I am so sorry for your loss. I too believe the spirit lives on and your mom feels your love, and will wrap her love around you to comfort you.
    You will carry your love and memories in your heart and she will be with you always.
  • Mum2bellaandwilliam
    Mum2bellaandwilliam Member Posts: 412

    My thoughts are with you
    Chris,
    I am so sorry for your loss. I too believe the spirit lives on and your mom feels your love, and will wrap her love around you to comfort you.
    You will carry your love and memories in your heart and she will be with you always.

    Chris (( hugs )) , I am so
    Chris (( hugs )) , I am so sorry for your loss,may your mum now rest in peace safe in the knowledge that you loved her so very much.

    Xx
  • nicolegarza
    nicolegarza Member Posts: 27
    very sorry....
    I am so very sorry for your loss... there are no words to take away the hurt you feel but please know were here for you... I am sending prayers your way... May God be with you and your entire family as you deal with this difficult time... Try to stay strong Chris!
    (((hugs)))
    xoxo
    nicole
  • lindaprocopio
    lindaprocopio Member Posts: 1,980

    very sorry....
    I am so very sorry for your loss... there are no words to take away the hurt you feel but please know were here for you... I am sending prayers your way... May God be with you and your entire family as you deal with this difficult time... Try to stay strong Chris!
    (((hugs)))
    xoxo
    nicole

    My sincere condolences
    I am so sorry for your loss, Chris. The grief you feel today honors her memory and is appropriate for the great loss you have suffered. But you know your mother wouldn't want you to be sad, so when the shock of your grief is not quite so harsh, live your life with the joy she would want for you. (((Chris)))