Endometrial cancer hard time accepting diagnosis

HEllo my name is Maria Iam 28 years old I need friend people who are goin thru this I cant take this I am trying to be strong for my husband and friends but iam so crumbling down my mom past away 6 months ago she lost the battle to stomach cancer she was only 50 really young at age 40 years old she had overian cancer she won that battle but I never thought she would die this young In march 20 she would of been 51 years old AND now I am diagnose with endometrial cancer I am married but never been pregnant we wanted to form a family so bad I wanted to feel motherhood so bad feel the baby grow in me feel the heart beat inside feel it kick but docs telling that there is no chance I will ever expirence that, I have to have a hysterectomy a complete one I cant afford to freez my eggs I cant afford sarogate ill never have children not by choice but by this disies that is will kill me if they dont percied I am so depress by this my brothers and sister say that I be ok but they all have children they have that little person that calls them mommy or daddy and there is a big emptiness in me I have to accept it cause the cancer spread to my uterus wall and that they want me to have a fighting chance I am depress cause my dad was also recently diagnose with stomach cancer I dont what to do my world is falling down my husband trys o give me support but it doesnt help much is like iam empty like all my dream went to complete stop I HAVE SURGERY APRIL 6th 2011 I dont know how I will react that day of the surgery i SO much needed my mother there to thold my hand and tell me to be strong and touch my head like she always did when I was sad O how much I miss her


  • Songflower
    Songflower Member Posts: 608
    We're here for you Maria
    You have been through so much with your parents and now this. Do you know what type of cancer you have? The type really helps you to know your prognosis. Did they get a biopsy and do the typing? You need to get a copy of all pathology reports. You can go to medical records and get these. Some cancers are not agressive and can be treated well.

    You are in shock and sound very depressed. We all know your feelings. It is so hard because you are young. I think you need a good friend to cry with or if you have insurance please see a therapist. Some medication may help you too. Even though you are crying and grieving you need to be able to learn about your illness so you can beat it. Bring a notebook to your appointments; write down everything. Also bring your husband, I guess he is in shock too and he will be strong if he can be involved so please ask him to come with you; you need him.

    I know you are grieving for the children you wanted. Give this some time. I have so many friends that are adopted. Parenting is really the raising of children day by day. So don't cross that part of your life out. It may work out it ways you never imagined.

    I am sending you faith and love, and lots of hugs. All of your feelings are normal right now; let yourself feel them. Again think about a therapist or support group. A therapist can be a social worker, nurse, or counselor. Call Your Doctor's office and see if they have any reccommendations. Call the American Cancer Society nearest to you.

    We are here for you to mop up your tears and hug you. Now please find out what type of cancer you have; it may be endometroid which is very curable.
  • iamawonder
    iamawonder Member Posts: 5
    Uterine Cancer

    I also have my mom going through cancer. She was diagnosed 10 years ago with cervical cancer and in the past few months we were told there is nothing else they could do for her as it has spread to her lungs, liver and kidneys. They give her very little time. So in the process of helping her I was diagnosed with Uterine Cancer. I did find out mine was a type that is easily taken care of. I had surgery 5 weeks ago and am waiting to have internal radiation to the vaginal cuff. My cancer is stage 2 grade 1. It does get easier as the days go by.

    Always remeber to listen to everything your Dr's have to say. Another good thing to do is to take copies of all your reports and make a notebook for yourself so if you need any of the information at anytime you have them ready. There are so many Dr's and tech's that you will see through out this travels.

    Take care and always know there are others that share your feelings.

  • nempark
    nempark Member Posts: 681
    Hi: Maria: You have already had two great answers to your post. I hope I can give you some inspiration. I know the shock you and the rest of the family are going through especially losing a mother and dad being sick, now you. You must be devastated. All of us on this board have faced the same situation as you are in right now, we never thought that we can travel the journey successfully, but most of us did, you can too. All that you are feeling right now is okay, it's the normal process, but medicine is good and there are still many great doctors out there. There is a Great God, put your trust in him and He will give you the strength to endure. I wish I can be there with you to hug you and help you through this, but I will pray for you. May God help you and your family to endure this journey. My best wishes. J
  • RoseyR
    RoseyR Member Posts: 471 Member
    So Sorry to Hear ...

    Dear Maria,

    Am so sorry to hear all that you're enduring right now. The loss of your mom had to be very painful--and now your father has been diagnosed with stomach cancer: a double burden.

    The only consolation you might try to hold onto is the fact that you at least have a partner to help support you through your surgery; many women who are single, or divorced, have no partner to help them either physically or emotionally during surgery, chemo, and radiation.

    Another thought you might hold onto is that if you get good prompt treatment, you may live many years--long enough to adopt one or two young children who desperately need someone to call "Mom."

    Of course you are devastated right now from your recent losses compounded by your own diagnosis; you must feel overwhelmed. My heart goes out to you. But perhaps if you can hang onto what you can still be grateful for, it might help you to feel stronger--as well as your siblings, who have also had to endure the loss of your mother, your father's diagnosis, and now one that might be hardest for them--yours.

    In sympathy and support,
    Rosey R
  • Sara Zipora
    Sara Zipora Member Posts: 231
    Here with you!
    Know that you have found the warmest, smartest and bravest group of sister warriorettes!
    Everything you are feeling is normal, and though I am so sorry for your multiple losses, we here are a shoulder to cry on.

    With love and strength to fight this battle,
  • Ro10
    Ro10 Member Posts: 1,561 Member
    Maria welcome to the site
    I am so sorry you have to joi us on this site. But there are some wonderful people here in this sisterhood. I hope we can be a support for you.

    I hope all went well with your surgery. I hope they caught the cancer early and you are a low stage. Did you have open surgery, or robotic surgery. You mother may not be there to hold you hand, but take comfort in the many cyber hugs you recieve from the the sisters on this site. Take it one day at a time.

    I can empathize with the loss of your mother. My mother died about 6 months before I was diagnosed with my cancer. Of course I am much older than you (60 at her death) and I had my mother around for a much longer (she was 95) time than you had, but we are never ready to lose our mothers.

    I am sorry about your dad's diagnosis also. That has to be a shock to everyone.

    I can understand your depression and feeling of loss in not being able to have any natural children. That has to be very disappointing. But as someone mentioned maybe you will be able to adopt children. You will love them just as much as if they did grown inside of you. They will grow in your hearts and stay there forever. I read something about how children leave footprints in your heart forever. I hope you get experience in the future.

    Feel free to come here and vent, cry, ask questions or when the time come celebrate good news. Don't think that any question or concern is stupid. In peace and caring.
  • sleem
    sleem Member Posts: 92
    Hang in there,
    You are having many major challenges all at once in your life & family. Many losses all at same time in so many directions. One is tough, you have several. You have been a caretaker in the past; therefore, you have seen all this before with you mom. That experience can make this very real for you and what it does overtime. This place is one of others who have similar experiences. Find those people in your friend, family, work network who can allow you to express your feelings and feel safe while doing it. If you are spiritual, and feel comfortable get help with your religious community /or counselor about help with money questions for freezing eggs etc. Call and see if a fertility clinic has help for a young lady in your circumstances. Check where you are receiving treatment for what services are available to you for emotional support. At this time, remember that your mom sounds like she was quite a woman and a fighter. Use her strength and love to help you. After the shock, we all settle into the plan of getting through the darkness back into the mood of hope to fight and plan for being here to continue our life.
    I wish I could reach through this computer and hug you and shelter you from this. Since I can't know I'll pray for you. Sometimes so much is running through my head, I force myself to say, "I'll think about that tomorrow." That is to me what reminds me there is a tomorrow to see things a little better.
  • TiggersDoBounce
    TiggersDoBounce Member Posts: 408
    Please let us know how you are doing post surgery.

    Sending you thoughts and prayers...

  • HannahF1978
    HannahF1978 Member Posts: 1
    I'm 32... my surgery was on March 25th of this year too!

    I know EXACTLY what you're going through. I was actually at the end of prepping for my first fertility treatment. There was "one last" thing to do... Remove a very small fibroid (about the size of a pea) from the wall of my uterus. My doctor sent a sample of my lining to pathology because it looked abnormal. It came back 2 days later as being Grade 2/3 Uterine Cancer. If I had a Grade 1, I MIGHT have been able to do hormone therapy in order to have a baby.. something I desperately want. But, because it was "at least a FIGO Grade 2" none of the 3 oncologists I saw would do it.

    Well, here I am almost 3 months sans uterus and they ended up downgrading my cancer to a Grade 1... How's that for a kicker?

    Oh well... I still have options, and so do you. I actually enrolled in a study that froze one of my ovaries for me at no cost. They got 25% for research to develop a way to mature eggs outside a cancer patient's body... and I got the other 75% for myself once the research catches up. I also got to keep the other ovary... something that I was insistent on. My awesome oncologist knew this was really hard for me and assured me that she would leave me an ovary, with the exception of it being cancerous. She sent everything to pathology during my surgery so she didn't take anything more than she had to. Cancer was only going to be given the bare minimum... nothing more.

    Go to http://www.livestrong.org/

    There are a lot of resources for fertility options if you can't afford to do them on your own. It's a great organization and they'll answer any questions you have.

    People keep saying "There are plenty of kids out there to adopt..." "You're not going to miss the vomiting... the elbow jabs... blah, blah, blah." But, you know what? I miss those. I always will... and it's ok. It's a loss and nothing will ever fill it.

    Please keep the faith that someday you will become a mom. WE have to believe that.... or there's no sense in the fight.

    Please, please, please... Hold onto faith! Don't let Cancer win!