Why I don't come by as often as I should..

sweetblood22

KristynRuth86 said:

Amazing!
You guys are all so amazing, thanks so much for all the encouragement! SweetBlood I can sooo see how it could work in the opposite way, that makes so much sense. Every post you make and every response you give is so insightful! I don't know if I mentioned this, but I enrolled for summer courses and I am going back to college, I want to be an Oncologist social worker. I want to help people with their fears (which I know might sound crazy since I can hardly get on a website that reminds me of being sick). I just think people with experience like us should help, and I'm sure I'll get to that point (school takes 4 years to get through anyway lol). I remind myself that though I like to act like nothing has happened I am only 5 months post treatment, it hasn't really been THAT long since I didn't feel good! Thank you all so much again for knowing just what to say!

Oncologist Social Worker
I think that is outstanding! Good luck with going back to school, I know you will do well!


Thank you.

Sweet

Joel4

sweetblood22 said:

Oncologist Social Worker
I think that is outstanding! Good luck with going back to school, I know you will do well!


Thank you.

Sweet</p>

Staying Away
I feel the need to stay away sometimes because it perpetuates worry. I'd come more often to offer advice but my experience has been so atypical I don't think it'll benefit too many people.
When I do tell others how I was diagnosed SCC Unknown Primary and had surgery only I get a lot of "you should have thrown the kitchen sink at it" talk. I even feel like some may resent my experience because I did not endure the hell of radiation/chemo though I'm sure that's all in my head.
I do like to lurk though just in case I come across someone who I think I can encourage.
When I was going through the initial stages of diagnosis and surgery this place was a real God-send. I received hope when I thought there was very little to be had and for that I'll always be grateful.

Dragons7-7-2010

KristynRuth86 said:

Amazing!
You guys are all so amazing, thanks so much for all the encouragement! SweetBlood I can sooo see how it could work in the opposite way, that makes so much sense. Every post you make and every response you give is so insightful! I don't know if I mentioned this, but I enrolled for summer courses and I am going back to college, I want to be an Oncologist social worker. I want to help people with their fears (which I know might sound crazy since I can hardly get on a website that reminds me of being sick). I just think people with experience like us should help, and I'm sure I'll get to that point (school takes 4 years to get through anyway lol). I remind myself that though I like to act like nothing has happened I am only 5 months post treatment, it hasn't really been THAT long since I didn't feel good! Thank you all so much again for knowing just what to say!

oncologist social worker
Kristyn,

I am impressed you are going back to college and want to be an oncologist social worker.
the oncology social worker assigned to me was a waste of time and I thought it would be better if the oncology social worker had real empathy and knew what I was going through as a cancer patient. So I hope you stick with that career goal as I am sure others will benefit from your giving back. I understand not coming on the site often and yet coming on often. it works both ways for me sometimes I get lifted up if I can offer information to help someone else. And then I get help myself. Finally, I too get depressed when I hear someone has a reoccurence. but we all got to do what works for us when it works.

Wishing everyone on the H&N site the best and many cancer free years ahead to all.

PS I am only 2 weeks post surgery and only considered cancer free NED March 8th so it is all still new to me and having a struggle with my emotions, and frustration at not being back to my normal energy level but the board gives me hope that in a year I may be partially better then in 5 years maybe can say I am a 5 year survivor.

Skiffin16

Joel4 said:

Staying Away
I feel the need to stay away sometimes because it perpetuates worry. I'd come more often to offer advice but my experience has been so atypical I don't think it'll benefit too many people.
When I do tell others how I was diagnosed SCC Unknown Primary and had surgery only I get a lot of "you should have thrown the kitchen sink at it" talk. I even feel like some may resent my experience because I did not endure the hell of radiation/chemo though I'm sure that's all in my head.
I do like to lurk though just in case I come across someone who I think I can encourage.
When I was going through the initial stages of diagnosis and surgery this place was a real God-send. I received hope when I thought there was very little to be had and for that I'll always be grateful.

Joel
Glad to see you, I noticed you in another post this morning and was thinking that I haven't seen your mug for awhile....

First and foremost (while I think of it, LOL).... I don't think that anyone here would ever resent you or anyone that may have had it easier than some going through treatment. Actually I think just the opposite, I'm glad for you or others that have had it easier...it sucks, and most of the time (cause I'm bad and that's the way I roll, LOL), I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy....

As for the kitchen sink thing, I'm sure the intent is only to not have you go through it again if at all possible. There are no guarantees either way. It's your life and your decisions that you live with, sometimes there good, sometimes not. Yours are working for you and that's what's important.

Either way, never sell yourself short as for the amount of help or encouragement you offer here...there is always someone that connects specifically to you. You are valuable and you do have something to offer.

Thoughts, Prayers and Best Always Brother,
John

Joel4

Dragons7-7-2010 said:

oncologist social worker
Kristyn,

I am impressed you are going back to college and want to be an oncologist social worker.
the oncology social worker assigned to me was a waste of time and I thought it would be better if the oncology social worker had real empathy and knew what I was going through as a cancer patient. So I hope you stick with that career goal as I am sure others will benefit from your giving back. I understand not coming on the site often and yet coming on often. it works both ways for me sometimes I get lifted up if I can offer information to help someone else. And then I get help myself. Finally, I too get depressed when I hear someone has a reoccurence. but we all got to do what works for us when it works.

Wishing everyone on the H&N site the best and many cancer free years ahead to all.

PS I am only 2 weeks post surgery and only considered cancer free NED March 8th so it is all still new to me and having a struggle with my emotions, and frustration at not being back to my normal energy level but the board gives me hope that in a year I may be partially better then in 5 years maybe can say I am a 5 year survivor.

John
Thanks for the kind response John.
I just glanced over what I wrote last night and realized I sounded like such a whiney little punk!
I am coming up on a year and I feel great so I am nothing but blessed.
Lately I've been able to go days without the word cancer even coming to mind and that is the real reason I avoid this place at times. Sounds selfish.
Kristyn, I think become an oncology social worker is an amazing way to turn this episode into a positive way to help others. Very inspiring, so good luck and God bless.

Joel

3Mana

Kristyn
Hi,
Just read your post and although I never had cancer, but lost my husband one year ago Mar. 25th from cancer, I am addicted to this site. The support here is wonderful and you can come on here 24/7 and there's always a shoulder to cry on.
You are so young & I can understand how walking into your bedroom can bring back memories of when you were sick. You are such a pretty girl and I hope and pray that you continue to do good and get a good report everytime you go in for a checkup. I'm sure every pain you feel you think " is it back again?" and guess that's very normal to feel like that. Maybe you should re-decorate you bedroom and get rid of the bed that you spent alot of time in. That might make you feel good seeing something new. Just a suggestion.
Please think positive!!! Take care! Carole
P.S. My husband hemmorraged to death in our bathroom, so everytime I'm in there, the memory of that night comes back to me. It's very hard to forget.

KristynRuth86

Joel4 said:

Staying Away
I feel the need to stay away sometimes because it perpetuates worry. I'd come more often to offer advice but my experience has been so atypical I don't think it'll benefit too many people.
When I do tell others how I was diagnosed SCC Unknown Primary and had surgery only I get a lot of "you should have thrown the kitchen sink at it" talk. I even feel like some may resent my experience because I did not endure the hell of radiation/chemo though I'm sure that's all in my head.
I do like to lurk though just in case I come across someone who I think I can encourage.
When I was going through the initial stages of diagnosis and surgery this place was a real God-send. I received hope when I thought there was very little to be had and for that I'll always be grateful.

Joel4
Joel, My Dr. did the "throw the kitchen sink at it" approach (and those were his exact words lol) and I often think what if I didn't even NEED to go through all that?!?! But then again what if I did need all that and didn't do it? I'll never know and don't care to trouble myself thinking about it! I think it's ABSOLUTELY AMAZING AND AWESOME that you didn't have to go through the rest of it and anyone who tells you otherwise you should simply say "Oh.. and when did you graduate medical school again?" The surgery is MORE than enough pain/trauma to go through! Anything you have to say will benefit us, we gain knowledge from each other and I wish you didn't feel like you aren't a big help, because you are! I hope you're doing well Joel!

KristynRuth86

3Mana said:

Kristyn
Hi,
Just read your post and although I never had cancer, but lost my husband one year ago Mar. 25th from cancer, I am addicted to this site. The support here is wonderful and you can come on here 24/7 and there's always a shoulder to cry on.
You are so young & I can understand how walking into your bedroom can bring back memories of when you were sick. You are such a pretty girl and I hope and pray that you continue to do good and get a good report everytime you go in for a checkup. I'm sure every pain you feel you think " is it back again?" and guess that's very normal to feel like that. Maybe you should re-decorate you bedroom and get rid of the bed that you spent alot of time in. That might make you feel good seeing something new. Just a suggestion.
Please think positive!!! Take care! Carole
P.S. My husband hemmorraged to death in our bathroom, so everytime I'm in there, the memory of that night comes back to me. It's very hard to forget.

3Mana
I remember reading your post about your husband, and again I am so sorry. My little depressing bedroom is nothing compared to what you must feel walking into that bathroom. Ugh, I just want to give you the biggest hug when I try to imagine what you and your child felt that day. And yes we are actually planning on moving this summer and I do plan on buying a completely new bed. New beggingings this year! Thank you so much for commenting! God bless you!!

Hondo

Hi Kristy
I understand where you are coming from, every time I go to MD Anderson or to the Mayo Clinic and see the people in line or sitting waiting to go in for their treatment it just tear me up on the inside and sometimes I start to cry. I don’t know why but somehow I feel there pain and see the look on their face and know what they are going through, all I can do at that point is to start praying for them.

So it is OK for you to come here or stay away anytime you want to, I thanks you for all the help and support you have giving through your treatment.

All the best to you and may your life be long and happy and may you have many of grandchildren to love
Hondo

Skiffin16

Joel4 said:

John
Thanks for the kind response John.
I just glanced over what I wrote last night and realized I sounded like such a whiney little punk!
I am coming up on a year and I feel great so I am nothing but blessed.
Lately I've been able to go days without the word cancer even coming to mind and that is the real reason I avoid this place at times. Sounds selfish.
Kristyn, I think become an oncology social worker is an amazing way to turn this episode into a positive way to help others. Very inspiring, so good luck and God bless.

Joel

No Problem
Joel, I didn't take it that way at all....just wanted to let you know that youhaven't been through anything less than us...maybe a little physically than a few, but definitely you've been through it emotionally.

It's kind of like me being in the USMC. Concerning boot camp or the entire tour. Some people remark at how hard it must have been. But in reality, it's the same for everyone that has gone into any service. It's a completely different scenario than you have ever been exposed to, so in that respect they are all tough. Kudos to anyone that has been in the service. And for those who haven't, that's one benefit afforded from those that have.

Best,
John