Peritonitis & Bedside Manner Deficient Doc - Sharing a Vent

LindaJS Member Posts: 20 Member
My husband bounced back fabulously from his first FOLFOX/Avastin so well that we had one great day when we both went back to work, caught up with friends and enjoyed being confident & happy for the first time since his diagnosis. Then the very next day - whack - we got hit! In the space of 10-15 minutes he went from being 100% to collapsing in pain. Spent the day in ED and found out the next day he had a bowel perforation & peritonitis. Sadly his surgeon was away so his Oncologist found a surgeon at another hospital.

The hospital transfer was about the worst time of my life. Worse I think than diagnosis. The Oncologist was very concerned and told me that a lot of people dont survive peritonitis. Poor husband was panicking about not having a will, shouting at hospital staff to find him a legal adviser and my folks rushed our daughter to the hospital to see him in case he didnt make it. Just a horrific morning.

I watched him wheeled off into theatre and about 3 hours later someone called my phone asking if I was his "next of kin" and could I "please come directly to the operating theatres on Level 5". So you can imagine. I set a land speed record running from the front of the hospital up 5 flights of stairs to find that there was a delay and he hadnt gone into surgery yet! I certainly let them know what I thought about the phone call! That wasnt even the worst experience with Docs at this place!

After being offered the opportunity not to have the surgery and to let the peritonitis kill him (ummm - thanks but he is only 4 weeks out from diagnosis so we arent ready for that yet!) - he had surgery to remove the perforation and give him a colostomy. The surgery was successful but they did get to see the spread of his cancer up close and it was found to be 'extensive'.

Then less than 24 hours after surgery when he was still hooked up to morphine/ketamine and generally disorientated and vague a junior Doc took it upon himself to tell husband that his colostomy was "probably permanent" as he "would die with it". He then told husband that he had to get stronger so he could leave hospital to "get his affairs in order and say goodbye to his family". I was so angry I couldnt see! Poor husband had an hour long panic attack after that. Now on top of getting well again we have to deal with a complaint process (hampered by the fact that the Doc denied saying what he did!).

But the good news is his regular team got him transferred back to his normal hospital after a couple of teary phone calls from me. He was out of hospital yesterday - "fantastic recovery" his surgeon said and is set to restart chemo next week. The team agreed to let him restart chemo early - not to wait a 4-6 week recovery period. So he has really only missed a week from his chemo plan. He lost a lot of weight though so is now on a Docs orders junk food plan.

So I tip my hat to all of you out there dealing with this in the long term!!


  • Buzzard
    Buzzard Member Posts: 3,043 Member
    I have only 3 words to say...........
    OMG !!!

    I am so sorry you and hubby and family had to endure the ignorance of that crowd...Thats first grade stuff...I think a personal meet with the hospital main man is in order... and an explanation of why in the world they are employed there........Again, my apologies for the complete lack of intelligence on their
  • CherylHutch
    CherylHutch Member Posts: 1,375
    That is truly pathetic and so unacceptable, Linda!! I am so sorry you, your husband and your family had to go through this nightmare.

    If it's any consolation, back in Dec 2006 when I was diagnosed with, at the time Stage III colon cancer, I had that added complication of peritonitis too. Nasty stuff that is and it really can take a toll on oneself... then to have to deal with cancer on top of that. But I'm here to tell you, I'm still fighting the battle with the beast and for the most part, doing quite fine. Chemo can be tiring and has various side affects, but I'm far from lying down and calling it a day. So, let hubby know it's a long road ahead, but some of these whacko doctors don't have a clue... and certainly don't have a clue how to communicate with patients.

    I agree with Buzz... if you have the energy to follow up, then I would demand some answers from the hospital as to why they allow their staff to cause such hardship and fear in their patients... and then let them get away with saying "I didn't say that". Totally unacceptable!!

  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    Oh, my.
    That's one of the most horrific stories I've read here. I'm so sorry that happened to you and your husband. What in the world is wrong with those people? I'm so glad you're back with his regular team of doctors. Praying things will improve very soon.

  • okthen
    okthen Member Posts: 232
    Oh my. Oh my goodness. I am
    Oh my. Oh my goodness. I am so so sorry for you and your husband going through that with the idiot doctor when you had so much worry on your heart already. Despicable!
    I have a story or two myself with horrible medical personnel, I'm a nurse so I KNOW they KNOW better and were taught better...I just don't get it.
    Please let us all know how things go for both you and your husband.
    Sending you hugs!
  • Lovekitties
    Lovekitties Member Posts: 3,364 Member
    Dear Linda
    I just can't imagine how terrible all that had to be for you, your husband and family.

    Please give hubby best wishes for a smooth recovery. If he has any questions about the colostomy, there are enough of us on here that we can probably come up with a few helpful answers.

    As for that quack of a doctor, tell your hubby that he has to get better so that he can walk into that doc's office and really tell him off in person!

    Hugs to you both. Life sure does throw us some curves, but some how we keep going and going and going.

    Marie who loves kitties
  • AnneCan
    AnneCan Member Posts: 3,673 Member
    This is an incredibly horrible story! I am so sorry you + your husband went through all of this.
  • elizabethgd
    elizabethgd Member Posts: 145
    AnneCan said:

    This is an incredibly horrible story! I am so sorry you + your husband went through all of this.

    so sorry
    sorry you had such a horrible ordeal.. So glad you had a team of doctors to get the process moving in a healing direction..Wishing you healing and comfort.