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rn11_2012

Hey everyone.I'm Courtney from Mississippi.I'm 20 yrs. old and a nursing student.My aunt passed away of SCLC in September and my dad just passed away on January 13th of NSCLC.He was just diagnosed back in September so it was somewhat unexpected.Doctors had given him six months to a year.For some reason they hadn't done any new scans to see how the cancer was responding to treatment.He was supposed to have a scan on January 24th but didn't quite make it.It's been very hard on me since I was the only one caring for him and because of the things I saw.I was coping well at first but recently I've felt like I've been hit by a train.I stay anxious and cry and panic especially at night.I never really was close to my dad until his last three months.I think that's what makes it hurt so much worse.I dont know of any grief counselors in my area and I hate talking to friends and family about it.I feel like I'm weak when I do and after a while it's like friends get tired of hearing about it.Does anyone have any advice for coping or anyone in Mississippi that knows of support places preferably in the Northwest region?

catcon49

dear rn
I am sorry for your loss. I know this sounds kind of lame but it does get easier with time. I still miss my dad after 10 years, but it doesn't hurt so much now. I would suggest giving your self 15 minutes or an hour a day to cry your heart out. Whether it is at night or morning doesn't really matter, just allow yourself that time to grieve. Then the rest of the day try to live your life, your dad would want you to. I hope this helps. I still have my mom but came close to losing her also. You are very young to have to deal with lossing a parent. Be strong, and I am sure you are not alone.

rn11_2012

catcon49 said:

dear rn
I am sorry for your loss. I know this sounds kind of lame but it does get easier with time. I still miss my dad after 10 years, but it doesn't hurt so much now. I would suggest giving your self 15 minutes or an hour a day to cry your heart out. Whether it is at night or morning doesn't really matter, just allow yourself that time to grieve. Then the rest of the day try to live your life, your dad would want you to. I hope this helps. I still have my mom but came close to losing her also. You are very young to have to deal with lossing a parent. Be strong, and I am sure you are not alone.

Thank you
Thank you for your advice.This was my 4th close family member I've lost to cancer in the past 10 years.I still have my mom as well but I cant confide in her because she's taking everything just as hard as me.I am going to try your advice.Hopefully like you said with time it will get better.My cousin that lost her mom in September is still having a very hard time coping so I'm hoping my experience isn't quite as bad. Thank you though.I'm sorry for your loss as well.

z

Courtney
Hi Courtney, So sorry for your losses, as I have lost my father to esaphagel cancer. Have you checked out the grief and beravement discussion board on this web site. I know we have lung cancer care givers that post there. They might have some suggestions for you. Your father passed just a short while ago. I know it takes everyone a different amount of time to grieve, but the important thing is that you are doing it. You can't hold it in as it will hurt you in the long run. I wish you well. Lori

rn11_2012

z said:

Courtney
Hi Courtney, So sorry for your losses, as I have lost my father to esaphagel cancer. Have you checked out the grief and beravement discussion board on this web site. I know we have lung cancer care givers that post there. They might have some suggestions for you. Your father passed just a short while ago. I know it takes everyone a different amount of time to grieve, but the important thing is that you are doing it. You can't hold it in as it will hurt you in the long run. I wish you well. Lori

Lori
Hi Lori.Thank you for your condolences.I didn't even see the discussion board you're talking about but i'll check it out.It sounds like a good idea.Thank you.