Keeping Watch

mswijiknyc
mswijiknyc Member Posts: 421
in Caregivers #1
Patrick's tumor started bleeding out yesterday. And still he fights. Had a bite of pot roast yesterday which is the first food he has had in weeks. And he woke up enough this morning to hold a cold beer.

I remember in September when it was such a struggle for him to breathe. Now it's like he can't stop. Stubborn man just don't know when to quit.

Father God, take his hand gently as my husband is scared and not ready yet. Please walk with him and give him peace as he goes from the known to the unknown. Father God, I hope there is work there. Patrick's been welding and booming up for days. Take care of him until I see him again. Amen
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Comments

  • Noellesmom
    Noellesmom Member Posts: 1,859 Member
    #2
    watching with you
    And holding your hand, April.

    Prayers for grace, peace and comfort.

    Hugs.
  • 3Mana
    3Mana Member Posts: 811
    #3
    Strong heart!
    April,
    Patrick must have a very strong heart & a strong will to live. Hey there's nothing wrong with holding a cold beer. Hope he drank some too!!!! You are both in my thoughts and I look for your posts every day. Keep loving him and give him a hug for me!! And don't steal his beer!
    "Carole"
  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633 Member
    #4
    Thoughts and Prayers
    I share your prayer and hope for a peaceful end. This is a very difficult time. Hold on to your husband's hand and your faith. I hope both give you some comfort, too. Take care, Fay
  • Pennymac02
    Pennymac02 Member Posts: 332 Member
    #5
    God's Grace
    May Gods Grace and peace surround you both. Father, alleviate Patrick's fear and enfold him in Your arms. Allow April to find Your Peace and Strength through out these trying days. Bless them as You have blessed me.
    Penny
  • hope0310
    hope0310 Member Posts: 320
    #6
    Pennymac02 said:

    God's Grace
    May Gods Grace and peace surround you both. Father, alleviate Patrick's fear and enfold him in Your arms. Allow April to find Your Peace and Strength through out these trying days. Bless them as You have blessed me.
    Penny

    Oh April...
    You are such a strong lady and have been a superb caregive and advocate for Pat. Your love is deep as is his. You both will remain in my thoughts.....



    Release your attachment.
    Recognise the wisdom of your own blood.
    Trust the tide-force pulling you into unity with all living forms.
    Let your heart burst in love for all life.
    Do not try to hold on to your old bodily fears.
    Let your body merge with the warm flux.

    Float in the Rainbow Sea.
  • mr steve
    mr steve Member Posts: 285
    #7
    Cold Beer
    April,

    If Pat can't hold one I will be glad to hold one for the both of you.

    Keep the strength.
    Steve
  • skipper85
    skipper85 Member Posts: 229
    #8
    Prayers for you both

    Hi April. I know you are going through a really difficult time. It's hard to watch your husband die and wish it to be over for him. I know because last month I was in your shoes. A couple days before Paul passed we were able to wheel his bed out (at hospice) to a patio where he had (3) cigarettes. He smiled the whole time. He could have had a beer but didn't want one. I think it hurt his throat. I still keep an ashtray with an unlit cigarette and an open pack along with his last unfinished beer on the work bench in "his" garage. I can't seem to throw them away even though I know those were the two things that lead to the throat cancer. They were his best friends. You have been wonderful with Pat and I'm sure he appreciates every moment you share with him. I'm sure God has a special welding project just waiting for Pat. My husband is probably building something up in heaven as we speak or at least supervising. Hope all the carpenter angels can live up to his standards :)

    All I can say is I'm praying for Pat to find peace and for you to find the strength to deal with his loss when the time comes.

    ((((MEGA HUGS))))

    Skipper
  • DrMary
    DrMary Member Posts: 531 Member
    #9
    mr steve said:

    Cold Beer
    April,

    If Pat can't hold one I will be glad to hold one for the both of you.

    Keep the strength.
    Steve

    Just back from the hospital
    Read your posts to Doug when he was awake (napping now) - you're both in our thoughts.
  • luz del lago
    luz del lago Member Posts: 449
    #10
    skipper85 said:

    Prayers for you both

    Hi April. I know you are going through a really difficult time. It's hard to watch your husband die and wish it to be over for him. I know because last month I was in your shoes. A couple days before Paul passed we were able to wheel his bed out (at hospice) to a patio where he had (3) cigarettes. He smiled the whole time. He could have had a beer but didn't want one. I think it hurt his throat. I still keep an ashtray with an unlit cigarette and an open pack along with his last unfinished beer on the work bench in "his" garage. I can't seem to throw them away even though I know those were the two things that lead to the throat cancer. They were his best friends. You have been wonderful with Pat and I'm sure he appreciates every moment you share with him. I'm sure God has a special welding project just waiting for Pat. My husband is probably building something up in heaven as we speak or at least supervising. Hope all the carpenter angels can live up to his standards :)

    All I can say is I'm praying for Pat to find peace and for you to find the strength to deal with his loss when the time comes.

    ((((MEGA HUGS))))

    Skipper

    April
    Lord, surround April and Pat with a blanket of your love, compassion and mercy. Send Angels to guide Pat and alleviate any discomfort he may feel. Send Angels for April to support, comfort and assist her at this time. Bring peace to their home and bless them both with loving moments.

    You and Pat will be in my heart and prayers, dear one.

    Lucy
  • miccmill
    miccmill Member Posts: 248
    #11
    luz del lago said:

    April
    Lord, surround April and Pat with a blanket of your love, compassion and mercy. Send Angels to guide Pat and alleviate any discomfort he may feel. Send Angels for April to support, comfort and assist her at this time. Bring peace to their home and bless them both with loving moments.

    You and Pat will be in my heart and prayers, dear one.

    Lucy

    April
    Bless your heart. You are an angel on earth and a blessing to many people but most of all Pat.

    May you both be surrounded with peace and light as Patrick makes this transition to the next life.
  • ketziah35
    ketziah35 Member Posts: 1,145
    #12
    Praying for you and Pat.

    Praying for you and Pat.
  • MCKMNL
    MCKMNL Member Posts: 40
    #13
    ketziah35 said:

    Praying for you and Pat.

    Praying for you and Pat.

    Oh April * big squishie hugs *
    for the both of you. I have had time to read alot of your threads, and replies, and i wanna BE JUST LIKe YOU!! I have never seen someone with such strength,and gace, and your words of advice are golden. I know I just joined y'all, but if thee is anything i can do for you, please let me know. you both are in my thoughts.

    Missy
  • mswijiknyc
    mswijiknyc Member Posts: 421
    #14
    still watching
    and waiting.
  • hope0310
    hope0310 Member Posts: 320
    #15
    mswijiknyc said:

    still watching
    and waiting.

    We are right at your side
    We are right at your side with you both......
  • cher8871
    cher8871 Member Posts: 64
    #16
    mswijiknyc said:

    still watching
    and waiting.

    Peace, Strength and Grace
    Oh April, I pray for all three for you and Pat. Your post makes me cry.....my Dad held on as long as he could....I finally told him it was ok to go and that I would be fine. Told him to go and be happy and that's what he did! I pray for Pat's peaceful passing and lots of grace for you. You are such a strong woman, however, that doesn't make it any easier. I played a song at my dad's funeral called SomeDay by a bluegrass band called Blue Highway. When you can, go on youtube and give it a listen. it's really powerful!

    love and hugs......
    cheri
  • Noellesmom
    Noellesmom Member Posts: 1,859 Member
    #17
    mswijiknyc said:

    still watching
    and waiting.

    Still with you
    Every time I woke up during the night, April, I thought of you and Pat.

    Hugs.
  • mr steve
    mr steve Member Posts: 285
    #18
    mswijiknyc said:

    still watching
    and waiting.

    big hug
    April.

    you and Pat got a big hug from WV! your in our thoughts and prayers
  • mr steve
    mr steve Member Posts: 285
    #19
    mswijiknyc said:

    still watching
    and waiting.

    big hug
    April.

    you and Pat got a big hug from WV! your in our thoughts and prayers
  • UKLady
    UKLady Member Posts: 85
    #20
    Thoughts
    Sending you kindest and calm thoughts

    Lyndsey
  • debbieg5
    debbieg5 Member Posts: 167
    #21
    mswijiknyc said:

    still watching
    and waiting.

    stay strong
    Hey April, haven't been here in a while and just saw this. Is hospice giving you a time frame yet? I know that this must be difficult to watch but understand that when it's over, you will be glad that you had this time to be with Pat and tell him good-bye. My prayers are with you. PM me if you need anything.
    Debbie

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