1 year ago today, I heard those three words

herdizziness
herdizziness Member Posts: 3,624 Member
in Colorectal Cancer #1
One year ago today, seems strange, the date I embarked on this new journey after hearing those three words, "You have cancer".
It causes reflection, since they didn't give me this long to live, and yet, here I am, and will be I hope for many more years. I thought since hearing those words, I would change, towards being a better kinder person. Yet, I find I'm still me. I still laugh, love, argue, sing, dream, have nightmares, get ticked off. Cancer hasn't changed me, just changed my world in the way I have to live it, such as around Doctor appointments, chemo appointments, surgeries, where are the nearest bathrooms.
I thought I would greet this day with sadness and a bit of depression, after all, I still have cancer, it didn't magically disappear, and even when my turn at NED will be here someday, (doing mop up chemo right now) I will still be anxious at every scan, every colonoscopy, wondering when the next tumor is going to appear. But I find myself waking up today, it's 63 degrees at 9:00 AM as I type this, and it's going to be a beautiful day, the sun is shining and I'm just plain happy.
Pete's party is today in celebration of his life, and I'm going to enjoy that, as I hope all of you will be enjoying the celebrating along with him and us.
Today is Nana B's Birthday and I'm sure everyone will be including that in the celebration too.
So hello February 6th, my "anniversary" date, I'm here, I'm still me, and it's OKAY.
Winter Marie
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Comments

  • tina dasilva
    tina dasilva Member Posts: 641
    #2
    I m so happy for you
    Oh our dearest Winter Marie you have come a long way and you give all of us so much hope to go on . And just for that I thank you from the bottom of heart I love you hugs Tina
  • AnneCan
    AnneCan Member Posts: 3,673 Member
    #3
    You've come a long way Winter!
    You are on an absolutely amazing journey. I remember when you came "on board" + I do think there have been some changes in you. You post often, + confidently. Maybe it's just partly I have gotten to know you better, but I see someone leading a happy, rich life, supporting so many on this board along their own journeys. I love reading your stories, even when you are talking about sweeping the floors. I see such a can-do spirit in you. You have conquered so much in the past year + should be so proud of yourself. I am proud of you!
  • Kathleen808
    Kathleen808 Member Posts: 2,342 Member
    #4
    Winter Marie
    Winter Marie,
    We are so glad you are here. You are such a supportive member of our family here. I hope your NED title is coming up soon.
    Here's to you, Pete and Nana B today!

    Aloha,
    Kathleen
  • Buzzard
    Buzzard Member Posts: 3,043 Member
    #5
    Kathleen808 said:

    Winter Marie
    Winter Marie,
    We are so glad you are here. You are such a supportive member of our family here. I hope your NED title is coming up soon.
    Here's to you, Pete and Nana B today!

    Aloha,
    Kathleen

    Cheers to the 3 Amigos !!!
    Yep 3 great individuals all in the own limelight today. May this be a great day for each of you and for you Winter.....my rememberance of you will always be of your first avatar sitting on the beach with your back turned to me like my child does when shes upset at me, a woman of many thoughts and many rebuttals but yet sitting there like a storm brewing....and just as a storm erupts, it just as quickly becomes calm, serene, beautiful in itself.....That was you, is you, and will be you for as long as I know you....You are a wonderful story in yourself, keep sharing it........Love to you and yours, Clift
  • johnnybegood
    johnnybegood Member Posts: 1,117 Member
    #6
    Buzzard said:

    Cheers to the 3 Amigos !!!
    Yep 3 great individuals all in the own limelight today. May this be a great day for each of you and for you Winter.....my rememberance of you will always be of your first avatar sitting on the beach with your back turned to me like my child does when shes upset at me, a woman of many thoughts and many rebuttals but yet sitting there like a storm brewing....and just as a storm erupts, it just as quickly becomes calm, serene, beautiful in itself.....That was you, is you, and will be you for as long as I know you....You are a wonderful story in yourself, keep sharing it........Love to you and yours, Clift

    very well said
    i have not known you long but you have the kind of fight in you that a lot of us wish we had.to tell you the truth i am fixing to start my second fight with this beast and really need the people like you to push me.you said you have not changed just the world you have to live in did.i never thought of it like that and i respect you for saying that.i have fought for 2 years wanting the old me back,that will never be,but now i will sit and think about what you have said in hopes it will help me to fight once again...Godbless...johnnybegood
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    #7
    Today is the first day of the rest of your life
    Things can certainly change can't they...
    I'm glad you are doing well and dealing with everything that comes your way.
    I've found it to be a series of "New Normals".

    I'm a February Dx too.
  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member
    #8
    Anniversay
    Hey we all remember that anniversay date with those three words, it's a terrible funny how sometimes we can't remember our kids, or grandkids birthday at a second thought, but we always remember the anniversary we don't want to remember. Yup I'm still laughing, living, aruging, and being the person that people knew me as before - well maybe more redefined. I've given a lot of thought to what has happened and I'm sometimes not liking me from where I'd come from - putting my husband through He!! because I'd been feeling bad through my ordeal. I'm sure lucky he was so forgiving. Keep those special things about you. Love your posts and just remember that you are always thought of by me. Wishing the best for you. Stay happy :)

    Hugs! Kim
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    #9
    Anniversary
    Even though I hate that you have reason to be here, I've found you to be a wonderful addition to our group. I can't wait to celebrate NED with you!

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • herdizziness
    herdizziness Member Posts: 3,624 Member
    #10
    johnnybegood said:

    very well said
    i have not known you long but you have the kind of fight in you that a lot of us wish we had.to tell you the truth i am fixing to start my second fight with this beast and really need the people like you to push me.you said you have not changed just the world you have to live in did.i never thought of it like that and i respect you for saying that.i have fought for 2 years wanting the old me back,that will never be,but now i will sit and think about what you have said in hopes it will help me to fight once again...Godbless...johnnybegood

    I know you will
    I have every bit of faith in you, that you will fight this newest round well and vigorously with all you've got.
    You keep fighting hun, we're right here with you fighting along side.
    Winter Marie
  • OGammy01
    OGammy01 Member Posts: 67
    #11
    Happy for you
    Dear Winter Marie I'm so happy for you! You are such a dear sweet person. You were the first person to contact me with advice. I am going to have a liver resection tomorrow and I wanted to let you know. I will not be here for a little while (not taking my laptop to hospital). It all happened so quickly my head is still spinning but it is all good. I care so much for everybody here on this board. I will be in touch as soon as I can.

    Hugs

    Diane
  • soccermom13
    soccermom13 Member Posts: 224
    #12
    It seems like a lifetime and yet
    One year can fly by! I find that attitude makes all the difference. Congrats on making it to a better place.
    Hugs!
  • herdizziness
    herdizziness Member Posts: 3,624 Member
    #13
    OGammy01 said:

    Happy for you
    Dear Winter Marie I'm so happy for you! You are such a dear sweet person. You were the first person to contact me with advice. I am going to have a liver resection tomorrow and I wanted to let you know. I will not be here for a little while (not taking my laptop to hospital). It all happened so quickly my head is still spinning but it is all good. I care so much for everybody here on this board. I will be in touch as soon as I can.

    Hugs

    Diane

    Diane
    I know you'll do just fine. I'm glad you are having your liver resection. Yea!!! Take good care of yourself, and we'll all be thinking of you tomorrow and the next few days!!!
    Please let us know when you can how you are doing.
    Many Hugs your way!!!!
    Winter Marie
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #14
    soccermom13 said:

    It seems like a lifetime and yet
    One year can fly by! I find that attitude makes all the difference. Congrats on making it to a better place.
    Hugs!

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • christinecarl
    christinecarl Member Posts: 543 Member
    #15
    I year of you kicking some
    I year of you kicking some cancer ****. Good job. Do I wish I was magically a better person after hearing I had cancer, sure. But it did help put things in perspective for me. I hope all of the coming years are nothing but amazing for you.
  • plh4gail
    plh4gail Member Posts: 1,238 Member
    #16
    Winter Marie I hate those
    Winter Marie I hate those first 3 words.....but the next 3 I am okay...that's the strength I see in you on this site. Bless you and yours and be as strong and loving as ever!

    Gail
  • lisa42
    lisa42 Member Posts: 3,625 Member
    #17
    yes you are here & vibrant as ever
    Hi Marie,

    It is weird when you get to that diagnosis "anniversary" date. I've had three of them so far, and plan to keep on going. You will too!!

    Take care,
    Lisa
  • mommyof2kds
    mommyof2kds Member Posts: 519
    #18
    lisa42 said:

    yes you are here & vibrant as ever
    Hi Marie,

    It is weird when you get to that diagnosis "anniversary" date. I've had three of them so far, and plan to keep on going. You will too!!

    Take care,
    Lisa

    I don't think any of us will
    I don't think any of us will forget the aweful day, mine will be the 13th and it was a friday, go figure... almost 2 years ago.. every scan and appt is still stressful.. Congrats on doing so well. just a matter of time before you hear the best 3 works NED..HUGS
  • AnneCan
    AnneCan Member Posts: 3,673 Member
    #19
    OGammy01 said:

    Happy for you
    Dear Winter Marie I'm so happy for you! You are such a dear sweet person. You were the first person to contact me with advice. I am going to have a liver resection tomorrow and I wanted to let you know. I will not be here for a little while (not taking my laptop to hospital). It all happened so quickly my head is still spinning but it is all good. I care so much for everybody here on this board. I will be in touch as soon as I can.

    Hugs

    Diane

    Diane
    I want to wish you the best of everything with your liver surgery. When you are up to it let us know how you are doing.
  • herdizziness
    herdizziness Member Posts: 3,624 Member
    #20
    Buzzard said:

    Cheers to the 3 Amigos !!!
    Yep 3 great individuals all in the own limelight today. May this be a great day for each of you and for you Winter.....my rememberance of you will always be of your first avatar sitting on the beach with your back turned to me like my child does when shes upset at me, a woman of many thoughts and many rebuttals but yet sitting there like a storm brewing....and just as a storm erupts, it just as quickly becomes calm, serene, beautiful in itself.....That was you, is you, and will be you for as long as I know you....You are a wonderful story in yourself, keep sharing it........Love to you and yours, Clift

    Buzz
    Thank you Clift, I love the memories of that day, thank you for reminding me of them, and your kind words.
    Winter Marie
  • herdizziness
    herdizziness Member Posts: 3,624 Member
    #21
    Those words
    I'm amazed at how far all of us have come since those words. We didn't wallow COMPLETELY (I did wallow a bit) in the words and the diagnosis. We overcame those words, we did the chemo's or the other alternatives, but we did what we could to live our lives to their fullest to our best. We do what we can, to keep on going, taking in words of encouragement to hold us for a little longer, giving words of encouragement to help others go on and keep on being themselves. It isn't easy living around cancer, but we've done it, we're doing it, and we'll keep on trying to get rid of those tumors. Those words, it turns out will be with us the rest of our lives. After all, they were harsh words to our ears, words we thought we would never hear. So we will carry those words with us, remember the date we heard them, but we won't let those words define us, remake us, or change us for the worse.
    We will strive on, we will not lie down and die, cancer can kiss our royal arses!!!
    Winter Marie

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