First Chemo - 1/17 - FEELING IT

VA-beekeeper

First I want to thank this wonderful group of folks for all your thoughts, stories and advice. I have not been sharing, but have been avidly reading - sometimes I cry, sometimes I cheer. I have learned much, which helped me prepare mentally for my first chemo treatment this past Monday. How to I feel? Pretty shity, though I know this treatment may save my life. I had a "normal" resection on 12/14/10, due to a large polyp (two benign biopsies were performed) where seven inches of my colon was removed along with 13 nodes. Everything was suppose to be OK - but to our surprise and shock (even my doc was surprised) one of the nodes had some cancer. Hence, chemo - FOXFLU was recommended. I know a lot of folks out there opted not to go through the treatment since the "source" is now gone - also have a clean PET, but I just couldn't take the chance. One down, eleven to go - gonna be a long Spring. I also have a pump and it's a pain, but gotta do it. I feel poisoned - not hurting, but something is going on that doesn't feel normal. Gonna go back to work after a couple treatments and hope I can keep this hidden. Already been wearing the big scarlet "W", as I lost my young (55) husband to cancer two years ago. Now I am wearing the big scarlet "C" -- just don't feel like sharing. Hanging in there and strive daily for strength. Will continue to read and share - this is a terrific group of individuals - Renee

jararno

First Chemo
Welcome Renee,

Yea! You made it through the first treatment! Your body is still recovering from surgery plus all the lovely drugs that were given to you for the resection. Adding the Chemo drugs definitely gives you more reasons to feel "off". Just try to listen to your body and get the rest you need right now.

I am so sorry that you lost your husband to cancer. you have already gone through so much in your young life!

I am the biggest medical chicken around and I made it through 12 rounds of Folfox. It wasn't pleasant, but I always went back for the next treatment ( even when I said I was done with it! ) You can do it!!

Are you in Virginia???? Your VA-BEEKEEPER makes us wonder! I live on the "edge" of Northern Virginia near Fredericksburg.

Hope you can get back to work when you feel up to it. ( I have been "retired" for almost 30 years.....stayed home to be with my kids! )

Hope that you are feeling good!

Take Care,

Barb

Buzzard

jararno said:

First Chemo
Welcome Renee,

Yea! You made it through the first treatment! Your body is still recovering from surgery plus all the lovely drugs that were given to you for the resection. Adding the Chemo drugs definitely gives you more reasons to feel "off". Just try to listen to your body and get the rest you need right now.

I am so sorry that you lost your husband to cancer. you have already gone through so much in your young life!

I am the biggest medical chicken around and I made it through 12 rounds of Folfox. It wasn't pleasant, but I always went back for the next treatment ( even when I said I was done with it! ) You can do it!!

Are you in Virginia???? Your VA-BEEKEEPER makes us wonder! I live on the "edge" of Northern Virginia near Fredericksburg.

Hope you can get back to work when you feel up to it. ( I have been "retired" for almost 30 years.....stayed home to be with my kids! )

Hope that you are feeling good!

Take Care,

Barb

This journey never plays fair. It takes and takes and takes and never gives back. We only do what we feel is vital to keep the system functioning the best we can. The Folfox although it is chemical warfare, it is also chemical warfare on the cancer . The fingers tingling the jaw spasming, reaction to cold touch, neuropathy, the list goes on and on. Dang, Im making myself feel bad now.....sorry, what I am trying to get at is that even though I lost my father to cancer in 1991, and now I have it, the fatigue and tiredness I feel, still, after almost 3 years, does make me realize that there is more than just running through life. It has slowed me down enough to see that there are things around me that take on new meaning when I take enough time to enjoy them instead of running as fast as I can to get things I thought had to be done, and now. The next 11 treatments most likely will not get any easier, but each one will bring you closer to being done with them, in hopes that this will be all of it for a lifetime. So please give your body its time to mend, it will take a long time, and use that time to enjoy the little things that you ran past before, it takes on a whole new meaning...I take respit in simple acts, and simple gestures, made to make people feel good if only for a minute, I do work at church that I never did before, I do things with my kids now that I never thought I had time for before...Im not trying to catch up, Im simply trying to love living again...cause right now, thats what is most important...Try to smile once a day, and try and make someone smile with you , again once a day, and the days will get nicer for you...If and when you try and go back to work, the off weeks are the best, if your employer will allow you to take off the chemo week and then come in on the week prior to chemo...The 5fu pump, its just a pain, unroll it to its max when you go to bed and just wallow on it, its not going anywhere, and if you have to get up during the night it won't take you long to figure out that it needs to come with you when ya go...Other than that, try and do nice things to yourself and for yourself. Your most assuredly worth it and deservedly so....Love and Hope for you in these next weeks in hopes that it goes well for you.......Clift