If I could, I would erase this post....sorry for the feelings! Please, just let this go! Old posts

KathiM
KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
My suggestion is, that if you have something new to add, start a new post, please.

I just got the wind knocked out of me by a year-old post where our beloved Shayenne was posting, still full of life and optimism.

We just suddenly lost 2 beloveds on my other board, and all of us are reeling there...I am going to make the same suggestion there...

I LOVE all of you, and benefit greatly from your posts, and, of course, it is innocent...but it still hurts...tears are there for me...

BIG dutch hugs, Kathi
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Comments

  • Nana b
    Nana b Member Posts: 3,030 Member
    #2
    When someone passes
    Wonder if it would be better for CSN to remove the deceased's account. Old posts are at times good,
    To piggy back on, saves a lot of typing. But removing them seems disrespectful or sad... I don't know.
  • dmdwins
    dmdwins Member Posts: 454 Member
    #3
    Nana b said:

    When someone passes
    Wonder if it would be better for CSN to remove the deceased's account. Old posts are at times good,
    To piggy back on, saves a lot of typing. But removing them seems disrespectful or sad... I don't know.

    Mixed Emotions
    Kathi...I certainly understand what you are saying. I have very mixed emotions.I have gained some valuable information from past posts but as you said it can be sad and painful to see posts from those who are no longer with us in body. But often times when I see their posts I smile.....remembering their spirit and their fight and their individual special qualities.....just a reminder who will forever live in my heart :)

    Smiles,
    Dawn
  • Crow71
    Crow71 Member Posts: 679 Member
    #4
    I know exactly how you feel
    I know exactly how you feel Kathi, and I certainly don't blame you for wanting to protect yourself and other from more pain. But sometimes I have a different feeling. Donna's smile always made me feel better, and even though she isn't alive anymore, her smile still warms me. It's very weird to feel sad about someone passing; yet at the same time still feel encouraged by their words. I'm not meaning to argue with you here Kathi, you just got me talking.
    Roger
  • dianetavegia
    dianetavegia Member Posts: 1,942 Member
    #5
    Or, leave them and put a
    Or, leave them and put a 'Deceased' banner across their avatar. Permanently close any thread they've begun but leave it for people to learn from.

    I just got notice that the American Cancer Society is the Official Sponsor of My Birthday from Kimby. Broke my heart! I remember us sending her birthday cards last year. Her youngest son ends every post on Facebook with KJH I love you. The hurt is still too fresh!
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #6
    Nana b said:

    When someone passes
    Wonder if it would be better for CSN to remove the deceased's account. Old posts are at times good,
    To piggy back on, saves a lot of typing. But removing them seems disrespectful or sad... I don't know.

    Nana, I see your point!
    It DOES save typing...and remembering them is good...I guess I am just being ultra-sensitive from the losses recently on the breast cancer board...

    Dutch hugs, Kathi
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #7
    dmdwins said:

    Mixed Emotions
    Kathi...I certainly understand what you are saying. I have very mixed emotions.I have gained some valuable information from past posts but as you said it can be sad and painful to see posts from those who are no longer with us in body. But often times when I see their posts I smile.....remembering their spirit and their fight and their individual special qualities.....just a reminder who will forever live in my heart :)

    Smiles,
    Dawn

    Dawn, remembering is grand....
    I just am sensitive right now from all of the losses, I guess!

    I, too, keep all of my CSN family safe in my heart! Thank you, my dear!

    Dutch hugs, Kathi
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #8
    Crow71 said:

    I know exactly how you feel
    I know exactly how you feel Kathi, and I certainly don't blame you for wanting to protect yourself and other from more pain. But sometimes I have a different feeling. Donna's smile always made me feel better, and even though she isn't alive anymore, her smile still warms me. It's very weird to feel sad about someone passing; yet at the same time still feel encouraged by their words. I'm not meaning to argue with you here Kathi, you just got me talking.
    Roger

    No argument here, dear Roger....
    I see your point. I guess I have just had enough sadness for awhile...maybe a good time to take a break!

    You know you never need to worry about questioning my opinion....it's how I learn!!!

    Dutch hugs, Kathi
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #9
    dianetavegia said:

    Or, leave them and put a
    Or, leave them and put a 'Deceased' banner across their avatar. Permanently close any thread they've begun but leave it for people to learn from.

    I just got notice that the American Cancer Society is the Official Sponsor of My Birthday from Kimby. Broke my heart! I remember us sending her birthday cards last year. Her youngest son ends every post on Facebook with KJH I love you. The hurt is still too fresh!

    Diane, my wounds are wide open...sigh...
    And I'm also facing my mom's decline and death nearing....sigh...

    I send my big hugs to you, sweet soul!

    Dutch hugs, Kathi
  • lisa42
    lisa42 Member Posts: 3,625 Member
    #10
    dianetavegia said:

    Or, leave them and put a
    Or, leave them and put a 'Deceased' banner across their avatar. Permanently close any thread they've begun but leave it for people to learn from.

    I just got notice that the American Cancer Society is the Official Sponsor of My Birthday from Kimby. Broke my heart! I remember us sending her birthday cards last year. Her youngest son ends every post on Facebook with KJH I love you. The hurt is still too fresh!

    Facebook
    Kimby's picture floated across my facebook page not too long ago- you know how they rotate the pictures near the top of who your FB friends are? I guess I could go in and "unfriend" those who have passed away (4 or 5 people who have passed away are still there in my facebook friends). It's like a slap of sadness when I see it.
    I guess seeing Donna's face or anyone else's face here on an old post who have passed on is like a slap of sadness too but I also have mixed feelings on it- it's kind of bittersweet to read what they wrote and remember them by it.
  • lisa42
    lisa42 Member Posts: 3,625 Member
    #11
    lisa42 said:

    Facebook
    Kimby's picture floated across my facebook page not too long ago- you know how they rotate the pictures near the top of who your FB friends are? I guess I could go in and "unfriend" those who have passed away (4 or 5 people who have passed away are still there in my facebook friends). It's like a slap of sadness when I see it.
    I guess seeing Donna's face or anyone else's face here on an old post who have passed on is like a slap of sadness too but I also have mixed feelings on it- it's kind of bittersweet to read what they wrote and remember them by it.

    weird
    Just after posting a bit ago, I went into my Facebook friends list to go through and remove Kimby and a couple of others who have passed away just to find they were no longer there. Maybe since facebook changed everyone to the new profiles, it got edited, or maybe the family members closed their accounts.
    I was actually hoping to see them again just as a memory- was actually a bit sad to see they had all been removed. Hmmm... don't know how I feel on keeping their profiles on CSN now.

    Lisa
  • dmdwins
    dmdwins Member Posts: 454 Member
    #12
    KathiM said:

    Dawn, remembering is grand....
    I just am sensitive right now from all of the losses, I guess!

    I, too, keep all of my CSN family safe in my heart! Thank you, my dear!

    Dutch hugs, Kathi

    I know kathy
    I know it is so painful to see and remember the loses. That is why I have such mixed emotions. Please know that I am truly sorry for all the friends that you have lost from the breast cancer board and mourn with you those we have lost here.

    Smiles,
    Dawn
  • Sonia32
    Sonia32 Member Posts: 1,071 Member
    #13
    Kathi
    As you are my online semi colon family member I went to your breast cancer board. Firstly you all seem so close like us on there. I'm so sorry for the friends you lost, I read about Lisa, and it shows how evil this disease is. Being tested for more cancer on the 8th Jan, then having chemo on the 13th, then passing away on the 14th. I don't know the people from your board apart from you, but I was so saddened by her passing and how its effected you all greatly. :-( Hugsss to you Kathi, and to all your sisters on the breast cancer board.
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    #14
    dianetavegia said:

    Or, leave them and put a
    Or, leave them and put a 'Deceased' banner across their avatar. Permanently close any thread they've begun but leave it for people to learn from.

    I just got notice that the American Cancer Society is the Official Sponsor of My Birthday from Kimby. Broke my heart! I remember us sending her birthday cards last year. Her youngest son ends every post on Facebook with KJH I love you. The hurt is still too fresh!

    Leave Them Be
    I do not think that a banner would be a good idea at all. It's like being "stamped" EXPIRED. I also do not think that previous posts should be closed. These people had much to offer while they were on the board and still DO have a lot to offer us through their experiences. I think most of us know who is no longer with us and to have it like they we are being checked off as we check out is not something that I would like done to me.

    It hurts when we lose someone but I like it that I can still enjoy many of the informative or uplifting posts our friends made. They live on in a way.

    I think that one could let family members know of what they wish happens to their Cyber-Life or Cyber-AfterLife. Ask someone to request to the CSN Staff that you wish your loved one's posts to be removed and I'm sure they could do that. The same would go for other social-websites. It's the world we live in and also many of us live part of our lives online.

    That's just how I feel about this
    -phil
  • Kathleen808
    Kathleen808 Member Posts: 2,342 Member
    #15
    Kathi
    Kathi and all dear friends,

    I am sad when I see posts from friends we have lost but at the same time I love seeing those pictures. I treasure those pictures and the wisdom, humor, tears, love and memories that come with them. I know those feelings are raw at times but I also think it is so, so good to remember our friends. I don't like the idea of writing anything on their profile either. But, I do think their posts should stay up.

    Just one opinion.

    Aloha,
    Kathleen
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #16
    lisa42 said:

    weird
    Just after posting a bit ago, I went into my Facebook friends list to go through and remove Kimby and a couple of others who have passed away just to find they were no longer there. Maybe since facebook changed everyone to the new profiles, it got edited, or maybe the family members closed their accounts.
    I was actually hoping to see them again just as a memory- was actually a bit sad to see they had all been removed. Hmmm... don't know how I feel on keeping their profiles on CSN now.

    Lisa

    I whole-heartedly believe....
    That their profiles can and should remain...

    My only point was that for old posts...maybe start a new one...reference the old one...

    Whatever, "Mag mij niet uit" (It doesn't matter, sorry I made a deal out of it...).

    Dutch hugs, Kathi
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #17
    PhillieG said:

    Leave Them Be
    I do not think that a banner would be a good idea at all. It's like being "stamped" EXPIRED. I also do not think that previous posts should be closed. These people had much to offer while they were on the board and still DO have a lot to offer us through their experiences. I think most of us know who is no longer with us and to have it like they we are being checked off as we check out is not something that I would like done to me.

    It hurts when we lose someone but I like it that I can still enjoy many of the informative or uplifting posts our friends made. They live on in a way.

    I think that one could let family members know of what they wish happens to their Cyber-Life or Cyber-AfterLife. Ask someone to request to the CSN Staff that you wish your loved one's posts to be removed and I'm sure they could do that. The same would go for other social-websites. It's the world we live in and also many of us live part of our lives online.

    That's just how I feel about this
    -phil

    I agree, phil....
    I guess I should just get a tougher skin.....

    I, myself, will be more aware of a response being to an old post....and being prepared for seeing old family...

    Dutch hugs, Kathi
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #18
    Sonia32 said:

    Kathi
    As you are my online semi colon family member I went to your breast cancer board. Firstly you all seem so close like us on there. I'm so sorry for the friends you lost, I read about Lisa, and it shows how evil this disease is. Being tested for more cancer on the 8th Jan, then having chemo on the 13th, then passing away on the 14th. I don't know the people from your board apart from you, but I was so saddened by her passing and how its effected you all greatly. :-( Hugsss to you Kathi, and to all your sisters on the breast cancer board.

    Thank you, Sonia!
    Yes, that coupled with my mom's dire condition...I am a bit over the top right now....

    So caring of you to check my other family's board! That was wonderful!!!

    BIG dutch hugs, Kathi
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #19
    Kathleen808 said:

    Kathi
    Kathi and all dear friends,

    I am sad when I see posts from friends we have lost but at the same time I love seeing those pictures. I treasure those pictures and the wisdom, humor, tears, love and memories that come with them. I know those feelings are raw at times but I also think it is so, so good to remember our friends. I don't like the idea of writing anything on their profile either. But, I do think their posts should stay up.

    Just one opinion.

    Aloha,
    Kathleen

    Yes, Kathleen...there should be traces remain.....
    My reaction was made larger by my other recent experiences...I regret that I posted at all...

    I agree, their old posts should remain...they WERE filled with goodness!

    Dutch hugs, Kathi
  • Kathryn_in_MN
    Kathryn_in_MN Member Posts: 1,252 Member
    #20
    How would anyone new know?
    I don't think this is something that can really be done. Someone new may post on an old thread never knowing that person has passed on.

    While it might bring some sadness, dieing is something everyone of us faces one day. If we live, we die. I still don't like how our society acts about death. Like some big taboo subject, and we should avoid talking about it, or thinking about it, or preparing for it. That is just wrong. What ever happened to celebrating life?! What happened to being warmed by the memories of wonderful people who shared their lives with us?

    I would hate to think that once we die everyone is afraid to see our photos or think about us, or has no use for anything we might have contributed while alive.

    Yes, sometimes it is sad. But sometimes not. The more time that passes, usually the easier it gets to move past the sadness and get more warm feelings remembering friends who have moved on. And so many of those that have passed shared such good information, that it would be a shame to lose it.

    In the words that my oncologist loves to tell me, "Suck it up." He does always get a chuckle out of me when he tells me that.
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #21
    Kathryn_in_MN said:

    How would anyone new know?
    I don't think this is something that can really be done. Someone new may post on an old thread never knowing that person has passed on.

    While it might bring some sadness, dieing is something everyone of us faces one day. If we live, we die. I still don't like how our society acts about death. Like some big taboo subject, and we should avoid talking about it, or thinking about it, or preparing for it. That is just wrong. What ever happened to celebrating life?! What happened to being warmed by the memories of wonderful people who shared their lives with us?

    I would hate to think that once we die everyone is afraid to see our photos or think about us, or has no use for anything we might have contributed while alive.

    Yes, sometimes it is sad. But sometimes not. The more time that passes, usually the easier it gets to move past the sadness and get more warm feelings remembering friends who have moved on. And so many of those that have passed shared such good information, that it would be a shame to lose it.

    In the words that my oncologist loves to tell me, "Suck it up." He does always get a chuckle out of me when he tells me that.

    Good point, thanks for the lecture!
    K

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