C Dixon Update After Surgery Consult at Duke

C Dixon

My devotion from yesterday morning was preparing me for today. It was this:


For everything there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven: …
Ecclesiastes 3:1

God has ordered this world and the life within it with natural rhythms and cycles, with beginnings and endings, that are time honored and enduring. All too often our human inclination is to try to reorder those rhythms to suit our self-appointed desires. We are not good at waiting when we should. We are too quick to break into cycles, disrupting and subverting them. We are too slow to recognize the rhythms we should let play out and too slow to understand when we need to act in concert with them. In our journey toward healing we need to take time for discernment about what we can change and what we cannot. We need to become more sensitive to the natural order God has established for our health and our well-being.


We arrived a little late at Duke but that's ok because we knew they weren't going to be on time theirselves and they sure weren't. I woke up sick during the night, which would explain my high white count on Monday, so my sleep was not great. Ben had to take my daughter to practice at 5:00am, which is ungodly right now. So, we got a slow start leaving but we made it.

Dr. Blazer, who performed my HIPEC in September of 2009 met with us again today and remembered us. He was very clear that every one there was in the same school of thought as to what kind of patient I am and to be aggressive was the right thing to do.

However, he does not think operating right now is the best thing for me. He is concerned about the fast reoccurrence of liver tumors after such an aggressive resection and he thinks there is more disease in the abdomen than the ovary. He is mostly concerned with the liver though. He thinks the problem is systemic and not localized and needs to be treated to stablity with systemic means, which is chemo.

We talked about the Oxi not being available but he said there were other options and he is right. Surgery is a localized therapy and until they feel like things are under control they don't think that is the way to go. He stressed that surgery was NOT off the table but that right now he doesn't want to deny any part of me treatment and that means chemo. You have to be off chemo 4 weeks for surgery and then during recovery and that would allow too much time right now for problems and I agree with that. I have not been back on it long enough to know anything about how it is working and now the regimen will change.

So, chemo for 3 months and back up there for scans and talk.

Are we disappointed? Probably some. However, I do not feel like I would have been up to a big surgery in the next four weeks and the Lord knew this. I truly believe that. I could have gotten ready but I would rather take three months than one. Of course, we want the chemo to work and not be so harsh.

He also talked about the fluid. He wants that more under control and again said the permanent catheter because it will help me feel better, so that is what I am going to do. Although the fluid is getting better and I am happy about that.

He said that I am not wasting away, which I have been very worried about and that with the catheter and extra attention to nutrition, Cathie, I should be fine in that department. That was a blessing to hear. I am very thankful for my Naturapathic Dr. who is helping me with this and my mom is here to fix me food. However they did weigh me with every ounce of clothing I walked in with: coat, sweatshirt, everything. But Blazer could look at me and tell too; he is not dumb.

We are at peace and agree with what Dr. Blazer said. So now we pray for chemo success and that they find God's regimen for me. But I am not even that worried about that because I know He will provide it.

Catherine

AnneCan

Catherine
It sounds like a good plan is coming forward. Your attitiude is fantastic. I am on systemic chemo, although I am on a chemo break until next week. The beginning of your post wanted me to sing,"to everything there is a season, turn, turn". I love that song. You wrote this post beautifully.

Lori-S

Catherine
I'm sure there is some disappointment in not having the surgery eventhough intellectualy you understand the reason. I will be praying that the chemo works like a charm with as few side effects as possible and gets the systemic problem under control so that you can revisit the surgery question again. HUGS

lisa42

love what you wrote
Hi Catherine,

I love what you wrote about our understanding, God's timing, etc. Yes, it is so hard to see and understand what we believe to be God's plan at times, I know. Then, when I pray and look backwards, I can see how things worked. Other things, I still can't see that, and that is where faith and trust come into play. It is hard to see it oftentimes, when we so want to be well, not affect our family members with our illness and sadness, etc. I will be earnestly praying for you, my dear.
It sounds to me like your onc has a good plan and one that will be best for you. As you said, surgery would only be addressing one area, while ignorning the systemic disease (oh, how I hate saying those words "systemic disease"- still hate to admit that's what I have, myself, so I know it must be hard for you seeing and reading those words about yourself).
Anyhow, putting chemo off for so long to prepare for surgery would probably not be wise, so rest assured you are doing the right thing. Here's hoping and praying for chemo to not be too harsh or difficult on you...
Don't disappear on us, or we'll get worried- okay?!

Hugs,
Lisa

pepebcn

lisa42 said:

love what you wrote
Hi Catherine,

I love what you wrote about our understanding, God's timing, etc. Yes, it is so hard to see and understand what we believe to be God's plan at times, I know. Then, when I pray and look backwards, I can see how things worked. Other things, I still can't see that, and that is where faith and trust come into play. It is hard to see it oftentimes, when we so want to be well, not affect our family members with our illness and sadness, etc. I will be earnestly praying for you, my dear.
It sounds to me like your onc has a good plan and one that will be best for you. As you said, surgery would only be addressing one area, while ignorning the systemic disease (oh, how I hate saying those words "systemic disease"- still hate to admit that's what I have, myself, so I know it must be hard for you seeing and reading those words about yourself).
Anyhow, putting chemo off for so long to prepare for surgery would probably not be wise, so rest assured you are doing the right thing. Here's hoping and praying for chemo to not be too harsh or difficult on you...
Don't disappear on us, or we'll get worried- okay?!

Hugs,
Lisa

Hi cath !
Sounds a sensible plan, l pray for a good result with chemo!.
Hugs!

Annabelle41415

Appointment
Sounds like your appointment went for the best situation possible for you right now. Your doctor seems to have your best interest up front and that is a wonderful thing. Hoping that your continued treatment does well for you so that you can have that surgery in the near future.

Kim

msccolon

sounds like a good plan
Sounds like you truly understand who is in control in all this, that's awesome! I'm glad to hear you'll be getting a permanent catheter to handle the fluid until the chemo has a better chance to get it under control! Keep fighting!
mary