When was the last time, you did something for the first time?

aysemari

mari
Posts: 524
Joined: Dec 2009
January 5, 2011 - 8:27am
Good morning everyone,

here's a little food for thought ( I am not including my cancer stuff), I actually had to
think for a while, so that means I need to be more adventurous, slowing down over
here

It was right before christmas, I had started dating I guy, a REALLY nice guy, never
thought he'd be my type but the more I got to know him, the more interested I
became. After our 4th date or so... I got diagnosed. I did tell him. Things became
a little weird, and on both sides. Here I barely knew him and he was in shock.

But he stuck around, got me groceries TWICE, even picked me up from the hospital.
Then came the day of my mastectomy and he came to visit, in the hospital, I was
out of it and then to my house. But he couldn't even look at me.... I was glad when
he left, it mad me feel uncomfortable, and then I cried. I took a big step back and
became more of a hermit. But he still stayed in touch via email.

Then finally, when I was starting to feel somewhat like a person again, I confessed
to him that I really liked him...First for me to approach a guy. In the past I guess
I got lucky it was always mutual. I learned his ex had come back into the picture
a couple months ago... my hear broke... First again, that I was refused by someone.
He was the first guys i approached with cancer.

So that was my last first. But now I am planning to consciously create more first
times for myself. How about you?

Hugs,
Ayse

disneyfan2008

wow...what a story
GOOD for you to make more firsts..(if i read this correctly)

Nothing to do with dating but yearsa ago I crashed with brain overload-did therapy thing-now I call myself the new me-do more for myself!

good luck with your new firsts-sorry you had to go through all you have and how your guy couldn't LOOK at you...but we all handle things so much differently...try to not take it personal...easier said then done..

tgf

disneyfan2008 said:

wow...what a story
GOOD for you to make more firsts..(if i read this correctly)

Nothing to do with dating but yearsa ago I crashed with brain overload-did therapy thing-now I call myself the new me-do more for myself!

good luck with your new firsts-sorry you had to go through all you have and how your guy couldn't LOOK at you...but we all handle things so much differently...try to not take it personal...easier said then done..

Never say "never"
Doing something for the first time? I've been sort of "keeping track" of the things I said years and years ago ... that I would NEVER (!!!!) do. Ha ... guess what ... I've learened to NEVER say "NEVER!"

So far my "NEVER" list of things that I HAVE done ... include:

1. Getting a divorce. Ha. That was a joke. Stuck with him as he climbed the corporate ladder ... then he dumped me after 21 years.

2. Going to college. I still can't believe it ... but after the divorce I realized I needed a college education to make it so I enrolled (at the age of 43)... and stuck with it ... summer, fall, winter and spring for 7 years until I had a masters degree. I am still amazed when I look at my degrees on the wall.

3. Filing for bankruptcy. That was fun. After 7 years of college I had a ton of credit card debt ... and bankruptcy was the only answer. In case any of you are wondering why I wasn't OK financially after divorcing Mr. Corporate America ... it's because I was an idiot and didn't listen to my attorney when he said I needed to get a detective ... and that I was entitled to alimony for life. I was so stupid I actually felt sorry for my then husband because he was so stressed. Little did I know about the reason for his "stress." Must have been really difficult and stressful for him to be married and dating at the same time. Poor thing.

4. Get a tattoo. Another thing I can't believe I did. But ... I swore that after the bankruptcy I would do another of those "nevers" ... just for the hell of it. Well ... I wasn't going sky diving or bungee jumping ... so it ended up that I'd get tattoo. Of course I was a big chicken ... and over 50 years old ... so I wasn't going to get too carried away. I ended up with a smiley face the size of a pencil eraser. Every time I look at it ... it reminds of "never say never!"

5. Of course a big "Never" was cancer. I would never in a million years imagine that I was get that diagnosis. But ... the surprising thing is the way I handled the diagnosis. With my personality I probably should have totally freaked out but instead I went on "automatic pilot" and just kept asking the doctors questions ... and doing exactly what they suggested ... and kept moving with the treatments. Lumpectomy, chemo, radiation and now tomaxifen. I still can't believe I could have handled all of this ... but I did.

So ... Never say "NEVER" ... NEVER!!! Life is an adventure. Life is a soap opera. There are no mistakes, only opportunities for growth. We all live and learn ... and what all of us sisters have learned ... is to value each and every day. We are so much stronger than we think we are.

love,
Teena

Boppy_of_6

tgf said:

Never say "never"
Doing something for the first time? I've been sort of "keeping track" of the things I said years and years ago ... that I would NEVER (!!!!) do. Ha ... guess what ... I've learened to NEVER say "NEVER!"

So far my "NEVER" list of things that I HAVE done ... include:

1. Getting a divorce. Ha. That was a joke. Stuck with him as he climbed the corporate ladder ... then he dumped me after 21 years.

2. Going to college. I still can't believe it ... but after the divorce I realized I needed a college education to make it so I enrolled (at the age of 43)... and stuck with it ... summer, fall, winter and spring for 7 years until I had a masters degree. I am still amazed when I look at my degrees on the wall.

3. Filing for bankruptcy. That was fun. After 7 years of college I had a ton of credit card debt ... and bankruptcy was the only answer. In case any of you are wondering why I wasn't OK financially after divorcing Mr. Corporate America ... it's because I was an idiot and didn't listen to my attorney when he said I needed to get a detective ... and that I was entitled to alimony for life. I was so stupid I actually felt sorry for my then husband because he was so stressed. Little did I know about the reason for his "stress." Must have been really difficult and stressful for him to be married and dating at the same time. Poor thing.

4. Get a tattoo. Another thing I can't believe I did. But ... I swore that after the bankruptcy I would do another of those "nevers" ... just for the hell of it. Well ... I wasn't going sky diving or bungee jumping ... so it ended up that I'd get tattoo. Of course I was a big chicken ... and over 50 years old ... so I wasn't going to get too carried away. I ended up with a smiley face the size of a pencil eraser. Every time I look at it ... it reminds of "never say never!"

5. Of course a big "Never" was cancer. I would never in a million years imagine that I was get that diagnosis. But ... the surprising thing is the way I handled the diagnosis. With my personality I probably should have totally freaked out but instead I went on "automatic pilot" and just kept asking the doctors questions ... and doing exactly what they suggested ... and kept moving with the treatments. Lumpectomy, chemo, radiation and now tomaxifen. I still can't believe I could have handled all of this ... but I did.

So ... Never say "NEVER" ... NEVER!!! Life is an adventure. Life is a soap opera. There are no mistakes, only opportunities for growth. We all live and learn ... and what all of us sisters have learned ... is to value each and every day. We are so much stronger than we think we are.

love,
Teena

WOW Teena
You truly inspired me! I am seperated from my husband, his choice not mine. It has been 3 1/2 yrs. It will end in divorce,(30 yrs of marriage) that was a never for me too. The BC was a never, you know you always think not me. I have really though of going to college a big never thought I could. I am very near 50 and had just about given up the idea, but your post inspired and encouraged me to look into it SOON!! Thank you for sharing your story. Congratulations on all you accomplished. I think I need to really think about some other nevers. Who knows what fun is waiting!! God Bless
(((Hugs))) Janice

Rague

Drove a Mud Bog
The only thing I can think of is in Sept, 09, 16 days after starting A/C , I drove in my first Powder Puff Mud Bog. Had a ball and got 3rd ($30). Had given Son my old IH Scout II that had been sitting without running for probably 4 years. He got it running and was taking it to the Bog. So we went down and he found out that they were having a Powder Puff race at the end so I got entered. Actually, I made it farther on both of my runs than he did on either of his. TEE-HEE. I did get some strange looks when I pulled up to the start line and pulled my wig off, handed it out the window and put helmit on over bald head.

Hopefully, Hubby will have one ready to run this coming summer.

Susan

dyaneb123

Rague said:

Drove a Mud Bog
The only thing I can think of is in Sept, 09, 16 days after starting A/C , I drove in my first Powder Puff Mud Bog. Had a ball and got 3rd ($30). Had given Son my old IH Scout II that had been sitting without running for probably 4 years. He got it running and was taking it to the Bog. So we went down and he found out that they were having a Powder Puff race at the end so I got entered. Actually, I made it farther on both of my runs than he did on either of his. TEE-HEE. I did get some strange looks when I pulled up to the start line and pulled my wig off, handed it out the window and put helmit on over bald head.

Hopefully, Hubby will have one ready to run this coming summer.

Susan

Wow Susan!That sounds like
Wow Susan!That sounds like fun. So many women on here do the most amazing things! I think dealing with BC makes us all aware that we have to live life to the fullest and not be afraid to take chances. Ayse, before my diagnosos I was doing some internet dating...a definite first for me....but it gave me a lot of confidence, and I met a lot of nice guys, and had some fun. Once I get my body back in some kind of unbloblike shape, I'll do it again!
Dee

disneyfan2008

tgf said:

Never say "never"
Doing something for the first time? I've been sort of "keeping track" of the things I said years and years ago ... that I would NEVER (!!!!) do. Ha ... guess what ... I've learened to NEVER say "NEVER!"

So far my "NEVER" list of things that I HAVE done ... include:

1. Getting a divorce. Ha. That was a joke. Stuck with him as he climbed the corporate ladder ... then he dumped me after 21 years.

2. Going to college. I still can't believe it ... but after the divorce I realized I needed a college education to make it so I enrolled (at the age of 43)... and stuck with it ... summer, fall, winter and spring for 7 years until I had a masters degree. I am still amazed when I look at my degrees on the wall.

3. Filing for bankruptcy. That was fun. After 7 years of college I had a ton of credit card debt ... and bankruptcy was the only answer. In case any of you are wondering why I wasn't OK financially after divorcing Mr. Corporate America ... it's because I was an idiot and didn't listen to my attorney when he said I needed to get a detective ... and that I was entitled to alimony for life. I was so stupid I actually felt sorry for my then husband because he was so stressed. Little did I know about the reason for his "stress." Must have been really difficult and stressful for him to be married and dating at the same time. Poor thing.

4. Get a tattoo. Another thing I can't believe I did. But ... I swore that after the bankruptcy I would do another of those "nevers" ... just for the hell of it. Well ... I wasn't going sky diving or bungee jumping ... so it ended up that I'd get tattoo. Of course I was a big chicken ... and over 50 years old ... so I wasn't going to get too carried away. I ended up with a smiley face the size of a pencil eraser. Every time I look at it ... it reminds of "never say never!"

5. Of course a big "Never" was cancer. I would never in a million years imagine that I was get that diagnosis. But ... the surprising thing is the way I handled the diagnosis. With my personality I probably should have totally freaked out but instead I went on "automatic pilot" and just kept asking the doctors questions ... and doing exactly what they suggested ... and kept moving with the treatments. Lumpectomy, chemo, radiation and now tomaxifen. I still can't believe I could have handled all of this ... but I did.

So ... Never say "NEVER" ... NEVER!!! Life is an adventure. Life is a soap opera. There are no mistakes, only opportunities for growth. We all live and learn ... and what all of us sisters have learned ... is to value each and every day. We are so much stronger than we think we are.

love,
Teena

oh I so agree
never say never...esp. if you have kids...first time I gave them a spit bath (like my mom used to do) lick finger to clean face...I learned to never say never.

I still say I'd never get a tattoo-3 friends want the 4 of us to all go get one together...so far NOT.

sorry about divorce, cancer of course and all the other issues..

good luck

KathiM

First time in Italy...
this past summer...FULL of firsts...lol!

I LOVE doing most things that are 'firsts'...except in Florence, Italy...climbed the Duomo, even tho I have a fear of heights...and then had to walk around the catwalk to get to the place I could get back DOWN!!!

TeeHee!

Hugs, Kathi

Chickadee1955

KathiM said:

First time in Italy...
this past summer...FULL of firsts...lol!

I LOVE doing most things that are 'firsts'...except in Florence, Italy...climbed the Duomo, even tho I have a fear of heights...and then had to walk around the catwalk to get to the place I could get back DOWN!!!

TeeHee!

Hugs, Kathi

My last first was getting my
My last first was getting my tummy tuck to go along with my breast reconstruction. I always swore to grow old gracefully and not have any 'work' done, but what the heck! I had to have plastic surgery due to BC, so why not get something I WANTED! By the way, LOVING IT.

My last first adventure was parasailing over Lake Tahoe. I've also gotten my husband up in a hot air balloon over Vermont in the Fall, and in a glider plane over the Arizona desert. I had the opportunity to do indoor sky-diving a few years ago, too. I think I have an flying fetish.

Chickadee

ladyg

My last first was just this
past Christmas. It was the first time in my life that I did not wake up at home on Christmas morning. No, it's not what you are thinking...lol. I went to spend Christmas with my daughter and woke up at her house.

Hugs,
Georgia

aysemari

dyaneb123 said:

Wow Susan!That sounds like
Wow Susan!That sounds like fun. So many women on here do the most amazing things! I think dealing with BC makes us all aware that we have to live life to the fullest and not be afraid to take chances. Ayse, before my diagnosos I was doing some internet dating...a definite first for me....but it gave me a lot of confidence, and I met a lot of nice guys, and had some fun. Once I get my body back in some kind of unbloblike shape, I'll do it again!
Dee

I know how you feel!
I am not feeling hot,hot,hot myself! I can only wear about
10% of my wardrobe... But I know I'll get my nice Pilates
shaped body back. My mood has improved over all and
the rest will follow and then you and I will break some
serious hearts, what do you say?


Ayse

aysemari

tgf said:

Never say "never"
Doing something for the first time? I've been sort of "keeping track" of the things I said years and years ago ... that I would NEVER (!!!!) do. Ha ... guess what ... I've learened to NEVER say "NEVER!"

So far my "NEVER" list of things that I HAVE done ... include:

1. Getting a divorce. Ha. That was a joke. Stuck with him as he climbed the corporate ladder ... then he dumped me after 21 years.

2. Going to college. I still can't believe it ... but after the divorce I realized I needed a college education to make it so I enrolled (at the age of 43)... and stuck with it ... summer, fall, winter and spring for 7 years until I had a masters degree. I am still amazed when I look at my degrees on the wall.

3. Filing for bankruptcy. That was fun. After 7 years of college I had a ton of credit card debt ... and bankruptcy was the only answer. In case any of you are wondering why I wasn't OK financially after divorcing Mr. Corporate America ... it's because I was an idiot and didn't listen to my attorney when he said I needed to get a detective ... and that I was entitled to alimony for life. I was so stupid I actually felt sorry for my then husband because he was so stressed. Little did I know about the reason for his "stress." Must have been really difficult and stressful for him to be married and dating at the same time. Poor thing.

4. Get a tattoo. Another thing I can't believe I did. But ... I swore that after the bankruptcy I would do another of those "nevers" ... just for the hell of it. Well ... I wasn't going sky diving or bungee jumping ... so it ended up that I'd get tattoo. Of course I was a big chicken ... and over 50 years old ... so I wasn't going to get too carried away. I ended up with a smiley face the size of a pencil eraser. Every time I look at it ... it reminds of "never say never!"

5. Of course a big "Never" was cancer. I would never in a million years imagine that I was get that diagnosis. But ... the surprising thing is the way I handled the diagnosis. With my personality I probably should have totally freaked out but instead I went on "automatic pilot" and just kept asking the doctors questions ... and doing exactly what they suggested ... and kept moving with the treatments. Lumpectomy, chemo, radiation and now tomaxifen. I still can't believe I could have handled all of this ... but I did.

So ... Never say "NEVER" ... NEVER!!! Life is an adventure. Life is a soap opera. There are no mistakes, only opportunities for growth. We all live and learn ... and what all of us sisters have learned ... is to value each and every day. We are so much stronger than we think we are.

love,
Teena

What an amazing spirit
you have and how much you have overcome already...

You SHOULD be proud of your degree, it represents your
strong will and hard work.

I really feel like us cancer patients, get it, we get life! We value it,
enjoy every moment we can. If it wasn't for the darn chemo and
the treatments keeping us down, we'd be a rowdy crowd I am sure!!

Isn't that funny how this whole world of cancer existed and we never
knew before our diagnosis? It's like a new world in itself. I always said
we all live on the same planet but in different worlds.

Ayse

Different Ballgame

A few firsts in 2010
Dear Ayse,

In 2010, my "first never" cannot compare to yours or the other women who posted. In the spring of 2010 I drove my car on the expressway in morning rush hour traffic from Park Ridge to downtown Chicago, IL and I am still driving the expressways...no more fear of driving on the expressways. I also drive in the snow and in a snow storm...no longer afraid.

I had my first beer (draft beer to be exact) this summer at the age of 69. I told my husband of 48 years that I wanted a beer. He just looked at me in disbelief and told me to go get it. He could not get it for me as I had to also get an ID bracelet to allow me to drink alcohol. We were at a community weekend fun fest. Later, when I told my girlfriends, they almost fell off their chairs. I like alcohol that does not taste like alcohol and I have never experienced being "high".

I have volunteered all my life...school, community clubs...but never had the desire to volunteer for a hospital. This fall I officially became a volunteer for Northwestern Memorial Hospital (downtown Chicago) for their Lynn Sage Breast Center. Never thought I would be a volunteer for a hospital.

I am very fortunate to have many girlfriends. This November, I lost my best friend Karen of 40 years. She was my best friend , my sister, my mother, aunt to my children and grandchildren. Never thought I would lose her at such a young age of 69 years old (would have been 70 in December). I thought she would be in my life always or at least until our late 80's.

I need to think of other new things to do for the first time in the year 2011. That's exciting. To do something you think you would never have done.

Next week I entering a new decade - 70 years ago and feel great.

Great idea for a posting, Ayse. Happy to hear that you have confidence in yourself to state your feelings to a male. Keep that confidence!!

Lots of Hugs,
Janelle