Quick Update on My Dad's 'Tude'

nifty Member Posts: 12
edited March 2014 in Head and Neck Cancer #1
Well - I had high hopes after last Thursday and Friday. I had shared some comments from the board on staying positive, what to expect, and tips. (Thanks to you ALL!) But I guess while he seems to rally for me - when I am not at my parent's house, apparently he sits, mopes, and will not eat more than two bites of anything put in front of him. His biggest complaint is stomach pain (I think gas or constipation which he has always had issues with). Right now he is about 1/2 way in to treatment (rad 20 is on Wednesday). He does not have throat pain, but has the thick saliva issue and says everything tastes like glue, I am sure it is true that things taste bad. I mentioned that elementary kids eat paste all the time, so he should just eat regardless!

My mom and I have theorized that he is trying to sabotage his treatment - i.e. if he does not drink he will not have good kidney function = no chemo. I have tried the tuff love, sympathy, and ignoring it route. My poor mother cries every day and is off the deep end as it is hard to watch him do this and she is like a chicken with her head cut off trying to find things to give to him that he will eat - with no feedback or help from him. He says as long as he is going to treatments all should be well - we are trying to go with that ... however he has to eat. Ice cream for 6 meals a day - we don't care - just something. He has lost 11 pounds, this from a man who started at 155lbs. A thin mint to begin with. I am sure a feeding tube is coming next week - the Dr. told him yesterday to EAT EAT EAT - he nodded, shook his hand, said he would - and then refuses everything we offer to him.

Anyway - I appreciate all your other comments. I am just looking to vent at this point. We keep trying the counseling thing etc. One day at a time I suppose! I am inspired by so many of your stories and of your strength in dealing with all that has come your way - or the way of those you love. It helps me keep resolve!


  • rozaroo
    rozaroo Member Posts: 665
    So Sorry!
    I am sorry that you have to go through this. The feeding tube will be very helpfull as he truly need's nutrition & fluid's to keep going. Tell the Dr. everything straight up. A nutritionist will be able to help also & usually they have one assigned to you. I never lost a lb as I did what I was old. I had one glitch with chemo as I was not drinking enough
    water & therefore severly dehydrated. I was given an IV & all was ok. I was embarassed & promised my Oncologist to never do that again. We kept a journal of each day's med's & calorie intake. Hubby was dilligent with that. I would get angry at times since I felt so sick & he would totally ignore & go about my feeding's. I was very lucky to have the care
    that I had. I truly feel for you & your mom as my mother was worried sick also & felt totally helpless. Tell the Dr that he really needs the tube & maybe they can move the appt up. he can take all his nutrition & meds through it. I wish you & your mother my best & will keep you in my prayer's.
    Hang in there!