One of the obligations of saying Hello....
It is part of the total experience.
I was asked at a recent interview why I still go on supporting others...even when there are some I cannot help or save...The discussion subject is what I said in response. I am a better person from knowing each and every one of you...and the members of the colorectal cancer board, and the many other warriors I have met (and some I have said goodbye to) along my journey of the last 6 years.
Take good care of yourselves, my dear sisters...treat yourself as your own best friend.
I will keep the light burning for you all, and the bed turned down, and the prayers flowing for your safe journeys, wherever they lead you.
BIG hugs, Kathi
Comments
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Kathi... those are beautiful
Kathi... those are beautiful sentiments. I can relate to reaching out to others too. Yes, we are all the more richer for knowing and saying goodbye sometimes. Thanks for the share.
BL0 -
yes the price for humanity,Bella Luna said:Kathi... those are beautiful
Kathi... those are beautiful sentiments. I can relate to reaching out to others too. Yes, we are all the more richer for knowing and saying goodbye sometimes. Thanks for the share.
BL
yes the price for humanity, but wouldnt want it any other way. I sometimes ask, God 'so what are the lessons" and I am learning every day, through the good things and bad. Part of experiencing life as human. Some of us have to delve deeper than others. I was joking with some friends however, that I have stopped asking God to teach me as I dont always like the methods. Thanks kathi for this, you are awesome.0 -
Thank you, Kathi. It is socarkris said:yes the price for humanity,
yes the price for humanity, but wouldnt want it any other way. I sometimes ask, God 'so what are the lessons" and I am learning every day, through the good things and bad. Part of experiencing life as human. Some of us have to delve deeper than others. I was joking with some friends however, that I have stopped asking God to teach me as I dont always like the methods. Thanks kathi for this, you are awesome.
Thank you, Kathi. It is so hard to lose someone on the boards or to hear of another reoccurence. I am so glad to have met everyone here and I have learned so much. I am not the same person that I was before this and I hope I never forget this journey. Take care and be safe0 -
You and I are much the same
You and I are much the same in that regard, I think. As you know, I was diagnosed in 2003~ and joined CSN within weeks of diagnosis. And here it is 2011....and I am still here. I too have seen far too many lose their battle and it saddens, distresses, and yes, frightens me. Especially as I am fighting a recurrance after an 8 year dance with NED.
I understand why some leave when they are finished with treatment. This is not an easy place to be!!! The newbies, the losses, the personal and emotional set-backs, jobs, kids, etc etc etc. We are not better than anyone else here; we are bound by this damnable disease which instantly levels our playing field. And we make personal decisions to stay, leave or pop in now and again.
I know why I stayed. I think back to how frightened I was, and how the CSN chatroom saved my sanity and gave me hope and a life-line. I could see the future! I could believe I had a future! And on those saddest of days~ I still knew I was connected with heartstrings to true Kindred Spirits.
Some days, when I log on, I want immediately log off again. I want to go into Ostrich Therapy~ hide my head in the sand and ignore all which is surrounding me. And then I think of where I would be right now if no one was here in the Spring of 2003.
So~ with joy, with gratitude, with tears, with difficulty~~~~~I am here to Pay It Forward.
I love you all. More than you know.
Hugs,
Chen♥0 -
Eloquent words...
Deeply heartfelt sentiments so beautifully expressed by both Kathi & Chen... I don't even know why I'm typing. There's nothing I can possibly add.
Since day one here on the board, I have felt quite "different" than everyone else. Still do, to some extent. In the earliest days, not sure I "belonged" here. Because I joined as an already "longer-term" survivor - right around five years out since original diagnosis. Wanting to mark that anniversary. Long done with invasive treatment. Not seeking support & encouragement, nor information. Desiring only to give back, in a new & expanded way. Provide support & encouragement. Beyond what I had already done/still do locally, in & near where I live.
However, I quite unexpectedly gained so much more than I could have ever imagined. Constant awe, admiration, respect and inspiration from all those who valiantly fight the dreadful disease - enduring sometimes horrific treatments (as I once did, so long ago) in order to hopefully survive. All without promise nor guarantee. And special heroines - those who have fought more than one battle. Like Kathi, and now Chen... RE & Jeanne... Meena... Others... We sometimes call ourselves "Pink Princess Warriors" - those who are forced to fight again are elevated to Queen status, I've often written. Another title none of us wants, ever.
And Heidi - who did not win. I literally "feel" the intense mourning, the utter sadness, over Heidi's passing - even if limited by only cyberspace. This is, unfortunately, our reality. I wish I had a magic wand... (Wish I had a dime for each time I've typed that sentence.) And I also wish that some day, I won't need to wish for a magic wand anymore...
To all those overwhelmed by grief & fear - please, remember that most of us do, indeed, survive the evil of breast cancer. Most, not just many. With everything I can possibly muster, I hope & pray that all of us will. Even if a miracle is required. For someone who contintually wishes for a magic wand, belief in miracles certainly is not much of a leap.
Thank you, Heidi, for all you gave so freely to all of us here. Thank you, all fellow members, for all you give of yourselves. And thank you to all those who've given me their hearts of true friendship beyond the board itself. Which is preciously treasured, and always will be, in spite of the most difficult times.
Kindest regards, Susan0 -
I need this....
Thank you my friends. You have confirmed that I needed to be at this very place, right now, reading these words, this very minute...I'm checking in. As a bonus, I have been wrapped in warmth from your post. I love reading your wisdom and insights. Your words often inspire me...thank you.
Hugs & hope
♥Pammy0 -
Thank youAkiss4me said:I need this....
Thank you my friends. You have confirmed that I needed to be at this very place, right now, reading these words, this very minute...I'm checking in. As a bonus, I have been wrapped in warmth from your post. I love reading your wisdom and insights. Your words often inspire me...thank you.
Hugs & hope
♥Pammy
Kathi,
Thank you for your words. I am sure your prayers are working.It so nice to see survivors who are always in our thoughts.
I joined when I finished my invasive treatment after 15 months years of my initial diagnosis. Never being a member of any discussion board or support group, I had questions and I wanted to help others, but was too weak to volunteer or go to support group and meet breast cancer survivors in person. I found an amazing group of good people with sense of humor and very caring. And yes my dream meeting in person has been realized several times and feel blessed.
I still miss many who left for better life and hang out on FB. I am thinking of those who never came back and hope that they have been well and just move on.
2010 was a difficult for this board. We lost, had recurrences and emotional meltdowns. Still moving forward and living with and after breast cancer - there is no way back for us- this is our life0 -
Kathi, Wise words from a true heart.
I found this wonderful place after my surgery. It (you all) helped me with things and questions I didn't even know to ask. You got me through radiation, calmed my fears when I opted out of chemo. Inspired me, made me laugh, gave me great recipes, wonderful quotes and an opportunity to help others, even if by just letting them know I was listening to a vent or praying for a concern.
There have been times when I simply could not post, when all I could do was cry. I would vow to stay off, not even read the posts. But, I cannot. Even if I don't sign on, I think of all of you and your sorrows, your joys. I worry so when I don't see a post from someone - what happened to them - are they ok? - need a break, or...?
So, I am here. I know there will be times when sadness will not allow me to post, or sign on for a few days. But I will check in, I will read and I will pray.
Sue0 -
Kathi
I thank each and every one of you who have stayed or come back on the boards because you help so many of us who are just starting our journey or are in the midst of it all. Without the encouragement and tidbits of info you share we would possibly be fearful, underprepared, alone in our feelings, etc. I thank all of you from the bottom of my heart and hope to one day be one that stays to let others know what I've been through too.
{{hugs}} Char0 -
Paying it forward, indeedcahjah75 said:Kathi
I thank each and every one of you who have stayed or come back on the boards because you help so many of us who are just starting our journey or are in the midst of it all. Without the encouragement and tidbits of info you share we would possibly be fearful, underprepared, alone in our feelings, etc. I thank all of you from the bottom of my heart and hope to one day be one that stays to let others know what I've been through too.
{{hugs}} Char
and you've definitely done that, Chen.
When I joined in May, I was so confused and frightened. I really did not fully understand what my diagnosis and treatment meant, even though I listened and could recite accurately to anyone who asked the stage, grade, receptor status, and oncotype test number of my bc. And then treatments began and although I was told by the medical folks what to expect, they really don't know how it feels. Sure, they know you're frightened, but they don't know what that fear feels like; and they know you're sick but they don't know how that feels, either.
So here I am on the other side of treatments, feeling like my old self again - yet I still post questions and the feedback I've received has always made me feel better. I hope now that I, too, can pay it forward. Thank you all for what you've given me.
Suzanne0 -
Thank you all for postingDouble Whammy said:Paying it forward, indeed
and you've definitely done that, Chen.
When I joined in May, I was so confused and frightened. I really did not fully understand what my diagnosis and treatment meant, even though I listened and could recite accurately to anyone who asked the stage, grade, receptor status, and oncotype test number of my bc. And then treatments began and although I was told by the medical folks what to expect, they really don't know how it feels. Sure, they know you're frightened, but they don't know what that fear feels like; and they know you're sick but they don't know how that feels, either.
So here I am on the other side of treatments, feeling like my old self again - yet I still post questions and the feedback I've received has always made me feel better. I hope now that I, too, can pay it forward. Thank you all for what you've given me.
Suzanne
Thank you all for posting such beautiful words. There are times when I stay away from the boards because it makes me so sad, or I just don't have the energy. But I'm always drawn back because here are where my kindred spirits are, here is where I get support and encouragement, information and I can vent and no one gets tired of it. I hate it when I hear the sad news of someone's death, I'm sure it causes heartfelt pain in all of us.
I really appreciate all you sisters who stayed with this board after finishing your treatments. We need your input and your advice, your encouragement and love for us. Thank you for thinking of the rest of us and staying here to help us.0 -
I'm so completely inspiredSunrae said:Thank you all for posting
Thank you all for posting such beautiful words. There are times when I stay away from the boards because it makes me so sad, or I just don't have the energy. But I'm always drawn back because here are where my kindred spirits are, here is where I get support and encouragement, information and I can vent and no one gets tired of it. I hate it when I hear the sad news of someone's death, I'm sure it causes heartfelt pain in all of us.
I really appreciate all you sisters who stayed with this board after finishing your treatments. We need your input and your advice, your encouragement and love for us. Thank you for thinking of the rest of us and staying here to help us.
I'm so completely inspired by the words of Kathy, Chen and all you pink sister. I dont post as often, but I'm usually on 3 times a day reading and trying to keep up. I read some of the wisdom here and know I could never express it so eloquently or so mindfully. I am forever greatful to this site and all the beautiful people I have met. We are all blessings to one another. I must admit I've never found a group with hearts and spirits as beautiful as those who post here.0 -
i joined just a month ago
pretty much after my treatment of surgery was complete. I have been overwhelmed by the courage, obvious caring and warmth expressed in each and every post. I joined when Heidi wrote her last post, and the outpouring of concern and then grief brought me to tears--and I didn't know any of you. I still don't, really. I, too, am really just looking to give back and to "talk" with women who understand where I've been. Because I don't have any further treatments, I am firmly in the survivor camp, but hope I can offer advice and solace to those who need it.
Thank you to those who have so eloquently given of yourselves and who have been there for others.
betsy0 -
Welcome!betsymorgan said:i joined just a month ago
pretty much after my treatment of surgery was complete. I have been overwhelmed by the courage, obvious caring and warmth expressed in each and every post. I joined when Heidi wrote her last post, and the outpouring of concern and then grief brought me to tears--and I didn't know any of you. I still don't, really. I, too, am really just looking to give back and to "talk" with women who understand where I've been. Because I don't have any further treatments, I am firmly in the survivor camp, but hope I can offer advice and solace to those who need it.
Thank you to those who have so eloquently given of yourselves and who have been there for others.
betsy
Welcome Betsy! Very happy that you found the board!
CR0 -
I can simply say THANK YOU
I can simply say THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. I joined in June of 2010 and the outpouring of support I received from everyone was so unexpected. During the first months of my treatment I couldn’t stop talking about how wonderful everyone was on this board and so open and willing you were to share your experiences and help me with all my fears and concerns. I log-in everyday. It's now 8 months later and I feel so empowered, loved and cared for I just want to give something back. Recently a friend and neighbor informed me that she has breast cancer. She knew of my breast cancer and needed to know how I am surviving. I told her all about our board, gather all my information and products and took them over to her. She was so overwhelmed and so appreciative we just cried for what seemed like hours. I am so proud that I was able to give back some of the love and support you all have given me. Again, all I can say is THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART.
Sparkle0
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