Boyfriend just dumped me... it hurts worse than the cancer worry
Comments
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I don't know what I'm going to do.
I come here, because I'm anonymous. And I know you all are friends who can hear me cry and vent. I've cried so much that my head is splitting. I got about 2 hours of sleep the night he told me, cause there was no way to make myself sleep. My daughter was wise in that she wouldn't let me drive to her place. She brought her truck, my car was packed also. We got everything out.
Just in my mind, I wanted to burn his place. Ok, that's out, now I can get back to real. I cried nearly the whole way to my daughter's house. I also cried because I was leaving the new town I had learned by being with him. I've wanted to die. I'm not kidding. How can a guy be so cruel?
It would be a long list of things I did for him, no need for that list here. He kept me there though the holidays so he wouldn't be lonely, I can see that now. He also needed someone to help him do a colonoscopy 10 days before Christmas. I changed his bedsheets twice in the night and washed in his washing machine and drove to the drug to get bed liners. He used me. The ahole. Doesn't help me now. I still love him, that feeling doesn't just turn off instantly. It hurt's so bad. I want to hurt back so bad. But I come here instead to vent and cry.0 -
why i don't know what I'm going to doKathyLQ said:I don't know what I'm going to do.
I come here, because I'm anonymous. And I know you all are friends who can hear me cry and vent. I've cried so much that my head is splitting. I got about 2 hours of sleep the night he told me, cause there was no way to make myself sleep. My daughter was wise in that she wouldn't let me drive to her place. She brought her truck, my car was packed also. We got everything out.
Just in my mind, I wanted to burn his place. Ok, that's out, now I can get back to real. I cried nearly the whole way to my daughter's house. I also cried because I was leaving the new town I had learned by being with him. I've wanted to die. I'm not kidding. How can a guy be so cruel?
It would be a long list of things I did for him, no need for that list here. He kept me there though the holidays so he wouldn't be lonely, I can see that now. He also needed someone to help him do a colonoscopy 10 days before Christmas. I changed his bedsheets twice in the night and washed in his washing machine and drove to the drug to get bed liners. He used me. The ahole. Doesn't help me now. I still love him, that feeling doesn't just turn off instantly. It hurt's so bad. I want to hurt back so bad. But I come here instead to vent and cry.
I'm 500 miles away from my town, where I still own my home and I'm trying to sell it. No much luck there. But if I return to the old home, it puts me so far away from my plastic surgeon and the University that it kills my chances for the D.I.E.P.
I can't stay at my daughters, she's also 4 hours away from the University. I can't afford the city apartments near the University. He screwed me royally. The bast(xxx). How could I not see this coming?
He is a combat veteran. I've never known people in the military. Obviously I learned the hard way. He was recently using this as his crutch as to why he was emotionless when he told me to leave. He's advised me to study PTSS and vets on the internet. It was 40 years ago. He still reads books about Vietnam. He watched horrible movies on TV containing the most graphic torture and I had to leave the room. Yet he was the nicest guy I've met in a long time. He has two lovely daughters, the college daughter lives with him. His place was always neat, he hired a housekeeper.0 -
Anger is better than tears....KathyLQ said:why i don't know what I'm going to do
I'm 500 miles away from my town, where I still own my home and I'm trying to sell it. No much luck there. But if I return to the old home, it puts me so far away from my plastic surgeon and the University that it kills my chances for the D.I.E.P.
I can't stay at my daughters, she's also 4 hours away from the University. I can't afford the city apartments near the University. He screwed me royally. The bast(xxx). How could I not see this coming?
He is a combat veteran. I've never known people in the military. Obviously I learned the hard way. He was recently using this as his crutch as to why he was emotionless when he told me to leave. He's advised me to study PTSS and vets on the internet. It was 40 years ago. He still reads books about Vietnam. He watched horrible movies on TV containing the most graphic torture and I had to leave the room. Yet he was the nicest guy I've met in a long time. He has two lovely daughters, the college daughter lives with him. His place was always neat, he hired a housekeeper.
And it usually leads to a plan....
Just like with your diagnosis, take each minute as a minute....don't worry right now about the future....it will still be there, waiting.
For the moment, granted, your daughter's is not the most convenient place to be...but it's the most supporting, I trust! And for heaven's sake, DO NOT beat yourself up about the whole thing. When we divorced, I would only accept 50% of the 'blame'...not 51%, but also not 49%...
I am guessing that really the thing that is bothering you is that you trusted him...with your love and your life...and he shattered that trust. Always remember he did that...and could very easily do it again...that is why my ex-hubby and I remained civil, but were never again close...and we were married for 13 years with 2 daughters...
This seems like a very dark time, but remember you have already survived a much bigger battle...for your life, with cancer...and emerged victorious! HIS loss that he doesn't appreciate what he had in you!!!
Hugs, Kathi0 -
the sacrafice of the mastectomyKathyLQ said:why i don't know what I'm going to do
I'm 500 miles away from my town, where I still own my home and I'm trying to sell it. No much luck there. But if I return to the old home, it puts me so far away from my plastic surgeon and the University that it kills my chances for the D.I.E.P.
I can't stay at my daughters, she's also 4 hours away from the University. I can't afford the city apartments near the University. He screwed me royally. The bast(xxx). How could I not see this coming?
He is a combat veteran. I've never known people in the military. Obviously I learned the hard way. He was recently using this as his crutch as to why he was emotionless when he told me to leave. He's advised me to study PTSS and vets on the internet. It was 40 years ago. He still reads books about Vietnam. He watched horrible movies on TV containing the most graphic torture and I had to leave the room. Yet he was the nicest guy I've met in a long time. He has two lovely daughters, the college daughter lives with him. His place was always neat, he hired a housekeeper.
He is using his crutch of PTSS, after 40 years, to explain his duplicity.
I believe it was the event of my mastectomy and the cancer. He ran. So don't ever say that mastectomies won't destroy a relationship, because it just did. Our relationship was hot before my surgery. I did meet him before I found out I had cancer.
He even joined a clinical study with the University, 'helping her heal', and he said he was trying to learn how to be more loving and helping me through the cancer. They wouldn't let him join the study unless we had been together for 6 months. The University was slow to start the study, 2 months out. A dime short and a day late.
He said he still loved me, but he couldn't live with me, he wanted to live alone. Why did God put me through this? I'm not that strong. I'm crying as I write this. I can't stay at my daughters. I have no home, except my old one which would put me right back with my Ex husband. I can't think of how I will finish my reconstruction.
I feel so alone and hurt. I wish I'd been hit by a truck. The only thing keeping me here is the knowledge that I'd hurt my daughter if I did anything. She's gold and all I have.0 -
Koda, thank you for sharingaustinsmom said:I am so sorry for your loss,
I am so sorry for your loss, rotten or not. I know how you feel and the same thing happened to me after my mastectomy. It has been a couple years and it was worse than the cancer diagnosis. I completely stayed away from him, no calls nothing. Then this past November he contacted me and I seen him. I can tell you, I am so over him. I am grateful that he is long gone. You lose so much with cancer and I would have had problems in the sexual department anyway. Positive life radio also helped me feel better about myself. I wish you all the best, you can contact me at jjmax40@hotmail.com.
Hugs Koda
Koda, I so much needed to hear you say this. Yes, it is worse than the cancer. I know nobody understands this unless you've been through this. I met a married woman at a BC support group and she too said her worries over her relationship were worse than the cancer.
I am going to contact the University study and tell them how far off the mark they are.0 -
What I learned about love...KathyLQ said:I don't know what I'm going to do.
I come here, because I'm anonymous. And I know you all are friends who can hear me cry and vent. I've cried so much that my head is splitting. I got about 2 hours of sleep the night he told me, cause there was no way to make myself sleep. My daughter was wise in that she wouldn't let me drive to her place. She brought her truck, my car was packed also. We got everything out.
Just in my mind, I wanted to burn his place. Ok, that's out, now I can get back to real. I cried nearly the whole way to my daughter's house. I also cried because I was leaving the new town I had learned by being with him. I've wanted to die. I'm not kidding. How can a guy be so cruel?
It would be a long list of things I did for him, no need for that list here. He kept me there though the holidays so he wouldn't be lonely, I can see that now. He also needed someone to help him do a colonoscopy 10 days before Christmas. I changed his bedsheets twice in the night and washed in his washing machine and drove to the drug to get bed liners. He used me. The ahole. Doesn't help me now. I still love him, that feeling doesn't just turn off instantly. It hurt's so bad. I want to hurt back so bad. But I come here instead to vent and cry.
Many years ago, at age 13, I met Brian. I fell instantly in love and it lasted for my entire 4 years of high school. He was always with someone else but made it clear that if her was available.... Finally, during the summer of my freshmen/sophmore years of college we became a couple. He had been in the Navy and wow did he look great in his uniform. Long story short, he had started drinking and had become a full blown alcoholic. Of course he needed me to take care of him. Every alcoholic needs a co-dependent. After much pain, I got wise to his disease and his need to handle it himself and we broke up. In my mind,he was my one true love so my husband was the guy I settled for. I focused on who Brian would have been if he didn't have the disease. There was a song, "Even Now" that would pull at my heart strings every time I heard it.
Fast foreward many years. My marriage had broken up...surprise. And he came back to his home town after being sober for 2 years. We started up again and I thought my dreams had come true. Not so. Within 6 months, he was back to drinking. The good news was that now that I was mature and much more experienced (42 years old) I knew that love doesn't hurt. He was an image that was made up in my mind. In reality he was mean spirited, selfish and a womanizer. He said things to try to make me feel less so I wouldn't leave. It didn't work.
I just turned 60 this year. Yea! What I have learned about love is...it doesn't hurt, it heals. It is unconditional....like Moopey and Joe. It lifts you up, it doesn't put you down. It is forever.
If you were in a relationship that doesn't look like that it was not what you deserve. I believe God ended it for you. You deserve love. You can't find the right person while hanging onto the wrong person.
Love yourself...it is the best gift of all.
Roseann0 -
You HAVE been hit by a truck....KathyLQ said:the sacrafice of the mastectomy
He is using his crutch of PTSS, after 40 years, to explain his duplicity.
I believe it was the event of my mastectomy and the cancer. He ran. So don't ever say that mastectomies won't destroy a relationship, because it just did. Our relationship was hot before my surgery. I did meet him before I found out I had cancer.
He even joined a clinical study with the University, 'helping her heal', and he said he was trying to learn how to be more loving and helping me through the cancer. They wouldn't let him join the study unless we had been together for 6 months. The University was slow to start the study, 2 months out. A dime short and a day late.
He said he still loved me, but he couldn't live with me, he wanted to live alone. Why did God put me through this? I'm not that strong. I'm crying as I write this. I can't stay at my daughters. I have no home, except my old one which would put me right back with my Ex husband. I can't think of how I will finish my reconstruction.
I feel so alone and hurt. I wish I'd been hit by a truck. The only thing keeping me here is the knowledge that I'd hurt my daughter if I did anything. She's gold and all I have.
He figuratively did just that....
I'm glad you found something bright in your life...you daughter! AND YOUR life!!!!
As others have said, it may seem that life is over right now, but didn't you survive your divorce? You must know that there is life after a breakup...
But right now, think essentials...why not at your daughter's? Make a list...at least in the short run...
My ex- actually lived with us for a small bit of time when he lost his house to bankruptcy, until he got back on track and found an appartment. We laid down strict ground rules...it was DEFINATELY NOT a husband/wife thing...wierd, but he had no other place to go...and he was good with our girls...
SURE it hurts! OF COURSE you have tears!!! That is normal and natural. BUT you cannot change that you did what you had to (mastectomy) to save your life. If you feel strongly about trying to make it work with this guy, then see a couple's counselor...and be honest...
There are many ways to solve problems. Getting a good cry in helps in the short run. I allowed (still do) myself pity parties of up to 24 hours, and then go on...
Hugs, Kathi0 -
Very Wiseroseann4 said:What I learned about love...
Many years ago, at age 13, I met Brian. I fell instantly in love and it lasted for my entire 4 years of high school. He was always with someone else but made it clear that if her was available.... Finally, during the summer of my freshmen/sophmore years of college we became a couple. He had been in the Navy and wow did he look great in his uniform. Long story short, he had started drinking and had become a full blown alcoholic. Of course he needed me to take care of him. Every alcoholic needs a co-dependent. After much pain, I got wise to his disease and his need to handle it himself and we broke up. In my mind,he was my one true love so my husband was the guy I settled for. I focused on who Brian would have been if he didn't have the disease. There was a song, "Even Now" that would pull at my heart strings every time I heard it.
Fast foreward many years. My marriage had broken up...surprise. And he came back to his home town after being sober for 2 years. We started up again and I thought my dreams had come true. Not so. Within 6 months, he was back to drinking. The good news was that now that I was mature and much more experienced (42 years old) I knew that love doesn't hurt. He was an image that was made up in my mind. In reality he was mean spirited, selfish and a womanizer. He said things to try to make me feel less so I wouldn't leave. It didn't work.
I just turned 60 this year. Yea! What I have learned about love is...it doesn't hurt, it heals. It is unconditional....like Moopey and Joe. It lifts you up, it doesn't put you down. It is forever.
If you were in a relationship that doesn't look like that it was not what you deserve. I believe God ended it for you. You deserve love. You can't find the right person while hanging onto the wrong person.
Love yourself...it is the best gift of all.
Roseann
words & advice Roseann.0 -
I'll waitKathiM said:You HAVE been hit by a truck....
He figuratively did just that....
I'm glad you found something bright in your life...you daughter! AND YOUR life!!!!
As others have said, it may seem that life is over right now, but didn't you survive your divorce? You must know that there is life after a breakup...
But right now, think essentials...why not at your daughter's? Make a list...at least in the short run...
My ex- actually lived with us for a small bit of time when he lost his house to bankruptcy, until he got back on track and found an appartment. We laid down strict ground rules...it was DEFINATELY NOT a husband/wife thing...wierd, but he had no other place to go...and he was good with our girls...
SURE it hurts! OF COURSE you have tears!!! That is normal and natural. BUT you cannot change that you did what you had to (mastectomy) to save your life. If you feel strongly about trying to make it work with this guy, then see a couple's counselor...and be honest...
There are many ways to solve problems. Getting a good cry in helps in the short run. I allowed (still do) myself pity parties of up to 24 hours, and then go on...
Hugs, Kathi
I just deleted what I wrote. It's possible he could come here and read this.
Just a million thanks to all of you. I hope sometime again I can be s giving as you all are.0 -
The Best IS Yet To Be For You
Dear KathyLQ,
There are many more fish in the sea. I know this hurts a lot, but this to will pass. He obviously isn't able to handle adversity. Real men look at what is inside a woman not was on the outside. You are better off looking for someone who can deal with life's tribulations.
Hope he never has testicular cancer. He sure will have a hard time living with himself.
It might feel like the worse day of your life, but it isn't. Tomorrow is another day, you will pick yourself up, brush yourself off and go on to a better day. There is a man out there waiting for you.
SIROD0 -
BoyfriendKathyLQ said:why i don't know what I'm going to do
I'm 500 miles away from my town, where I still own my home and I'm trying to sell it. No much luck there. But if I return to the old home, it puts me so far away from my plastic surgeon and the University that it kills my chances for the D.I.E.P.
I can't stay at my daughters, she's also 4 hours away from the University. I can't afford the city apartments near the University. He screwed me royally. The bast(xxx). How could I not see this coming?
He is a combat veteran. I've never known people in the military. Obviously I learned the hard way. He was recently using this as his crutch as to why he was emotionless when he told me to leave. He's advised me to study PTSS and vets on the internet. It was 40 years ago. He still reads books about Vietnam. He watched horrible movies on TV containing the most graphic torture and I had to leave the room. Yet he was the nicest guy I've met in a long time. He has two lovely daughters, the college daughter lives with him. His place was always neat, he hired a housekeeper.
Dear sweet Kathy you can't cross every bridge in one day, today you need to let your spirit be still try to relax your mind for awhile, you are going through enough right now with the breast cancer and the re-construction this is a lot of stress and trauma on your body. This man is not worrying about any thing at this moment. so you stay focused on the plans you have as to how you are going to be where you need to be for your treatment, put this man aside until you are strong enough mentally and physically to deal with this.Just walk on Kathy. I also am married to a Veitnam Vet about 40 years out, I'm not saying these guys don't go through a lot, they do and my sweet man never came back to me the way he left.I'm sure your guy is going through some things,they do for years to come. But Kathy that's no excuse for his treating you the way he is, now what he went through is not your problem, your problem right now is taking care of yourself and we all know that stress is not good for our body when we are going through cancer.I just completed one year and three months of treatment on Friday,my doctor says I am now "Cancer Free", and I am not to worry about things that I have no control over, my whole outlook about life has changed so you go on with your life,cry if you must but don't stay in that mode for long and be kind to yourself. You will either hear from him again or see him one day then you will realize just what a heartless human being he is, you have come so far on this journey with breast cancer and you have come out with the Victory so please don't hand over your power to him. Kathy I have a wonderful relationship with God and I will be talking to him about you. I wish I could just put my arms around you right now and give you a great big hug,and listen to what Joe who posted earlier had to say, that's a man's view of another man and that was good advice he gave you.
Love
Sissybug in Texas0 -
Jerk
Kathy,
I'm sorry your guy is such a jerk. Some men can't handle the changes we go through as a result of cancer. This is his problem not yours. Just take a few deep breaths, and take time to figure out what you need to do for you. Nothing has to be solved right this minute. Listen to yourself because you know you best. Bounce ideas off your daughter, she drove all that way to help you leave. Don't be afraid to post on this post any of your thoughts. So what if he reads it, he might learn a thing or to. I know you love him but it takes 2 for a relationship.
Janie0 -
I am so sorry about your pain
There's really not much I can add,
Cancer complicates our lives in so many ways. But it also teaches us a lot
about people. Some times they are painful but still invaluable lessons. All
we can do is learn our lesson and hold on to the gems we find, we have in
our lives.
What a wonderful daughter, I am glad she is helping you through this hard
times. Please keep your chin up and your heart will heal, only time does this
trick.
Hugs,
Ayse0 -
Roseannroseann4 said:What I learned about love...
Many years ago, at age 13, I met Brian. I fell instantly in love and it lasted for my entire 4 years of high school. He was always with someone else but made it clear that if her was available.... Finally, during the summer of my freshmen/sophmore years of college we became a couple. He had been in the Navy and wow did he look great in his uniform. Long story short, he had started drinking and had become a full blown alcoholic. Of course he needed me to take care of him. Every alcoholic needs a co-dependent. After much pain, I got wise to his disease and his need to handle it himself and we broke up. In my mind,he was my one true love so my husband was the guy I settled for. I focused on who Brian would have been if he didn't have the disease. There was a song, "Even Now" that would pull at my heart strings every time I heard it.
Fast foreward many years. My marriage had broken up...surprise. And he came back to his home town after being sober for 2 years. We started up again and I thought my dreams had come true. Not so. Within 6 months, he was back to drinking. The good news was that now that I was mature and much more experienced (42 years old) I knew that love doesn't hurt. He was an image that was made up in my mind. In reality he was mean spirited, selfish and a womanizer. He said things to try to make me feel less so I wouldn't leave. It didn't work.
I just turned 60 this year. Yea! What I have learned about love is...it doesn't hurt, it heals. It is unconditional....like Moopey and Joe. It lifts you up, it doesn't put you down. It is forever.
If you were in a relationship that doesn't look like that it was not what you deserve. I believe God ended it for you. You deserve love. You can't find the right person while hanging onto the wrong person.
Love yourself...it is the best gift of all.
Roseann
"If you were in a relationship that doesn't look like that it was not what you deserve. I believe God ended it for you. You deserve love. You can't find the right person while hanging onto the wrong person."
I don't know how to fall out of love.0 -
I have been thinking of you
I hope you are feeling better...I know very hard to deal with one bad thing much less two...and totally unexpected...so sorry you must deal with all this at one time...
I think everything happens for a reason...many times we never know why....0 -
No, life does not suck!KathiM said:Anger is better than tears....
And it usually leads to a plan....
Just like with your diagnosis, take each minute as a minute....don't worry right now about the future....it will still be there, waiting.
For the moment, granted, your daughter's is not the most convenient place to be...but it's the most supporting, I trust! And for heaven's sake, DO NOT beat yourself up about the whole thing. When we divorced, I would only accept 50% of the 'blame'...not 51%, but also not 49%...
I am guessing that really the thing that is bothering you is that you trusted him...with your love and your life...and he shattered that trust. Always remember he did that...and could very easily do it again...that is why my ex-hubby and I remained civil, but were never again close...and we were married for 13 years with 2 daughters...
This seems like a very dark time, but remember you have already survived a much bigger battle...for your life, with cancer...and emerged victorious! HIS loss that he doesn't appreciate what he had in you!!!
Hugs, Kathi
No, life does not suck! Your ex boyfriend does! Consider yourself fortunate that he is out of your life now. He doesn't deserve you!
You just take care of number one, meaning you, and, be thankful that someone who wasn't willing to love you during sickness and health, thick and thin, good times and bad is gone.
Hugs, Kylez0 -
EXCUSE ME??
Kathy I am deeply sorry that this is happening to you and I know it hurts, but step back a moment and realize that a man who give a woman fighting for her life one day to move out of his life is not the kind of man you deserve. This is not about him anyway, it is about you and about you making it to tomorrow and beyond, he does not deserve you! Pick yourself up and know that you are worth much and this is his loss! For those of us who walk this path each day is a gift, one we have earned and one we should not waste on someone who does not realize that. I agree you need to do something special for yourself, know that you are of great value!
Wishing you all the best,
RE0 -
sissybug: said it so wellSissybug said:Boyfriend
Dear sweet Kathy you can't cross every bridge in one day, today you need to let your spirit be still try to relax your mind for awhile, you are going through enough right now with the breast cancer and the re-construction this is a lot of stress and trauma on your body. This man is not worrying about any thing at this moment. so you stay focused on the plans you have as to how you are going to be where you need to be for your treatment, put this man aside until you are strong enough mentally and physically to deal with this.Just walk on Kathy. I also am married to a Veitnam Vet about 40 years out, I'm not saying these guys don't go through a lot, they do and my sweet man never came back to me the way he left.I'm sure your guy is going through some things,they do for years to come. But Kathy that's no excuse for his treating you the way he is, now what he went through is not your problem, your problem right now is taking care of yourself and we all know that stress is not good for our body when we are going through cancer.I just completed one year and three months of treatment on Friday,my doctor says I am now "Cancer Free", and I am not to worry about things that I have no control over, my whole outlook about life has changed so you go on with your life,cry if you must but don't stay in that mode for long and be kind to yourself. You will either hear from him again or see him one day then you will realize just what a heartless human being he is, you have come so far on this journey with breast cancer and you have come out with the Victory so please don't hand over your power to him. Kathy I have a wonderful relationship with God and I will be talking to him about you. I wish I could just put my arms around you right now and give you a great big hug,and listen to what Joe who posted earlier had to say, that's a man's view of another man and that was good advice he gave you.
Love
Sissybug in Texas
I totally agree with your advice...I used to hold grudges and found out that the ones I had grudges towards didnt' know or if they did ...did NOT care...their life went on...so now I forgive for me-but do not forget (as the saying goes)
I try to not fret about those who will not change or things I can no change!
Kathy:
I know this is not much help..but I'll be thinking of you...and Hoping great happens this year 2011
sending big hug.0 -
I agree with everythingRE said:EXCUSE ME??
Kathy I am deeply sorry that this is happening to you and I know it hurts, but step back a moment and realize that a man who give a woman fighting for her life one day to move out of his life is not the kind of man you deserve. This is not about him anyway, it is about you and about you making it to tomorrow and beyond, he does not deserve you! Pick yourself up and know that you are worth much and this is his loss! For those of us who walk this path each day is a gift, one we have earned and one we should not waste on someone who does not realize that. I agree you need to do something special for yourself, know that you are of great value!
Wishing you all the best,
RE
Kathy,
I agree with everything everyone has said. The guy was a jerk ... and you deserve much better. Yes ... he may have a ton of emotional/psychological baggage from his time in the service ... but that doesn't excuse the fact that on top of his baggage ... he IS a jerk. How in the world could anyone give a person they supposedly cared about a one day notice to move out ... so HE can start the new year off fresh? How selfish is that? And ... especially someone going to cancer treatment? J-E-R-K !!!
You are going to get through this ... I promise. Just look back on what you've done so far on your cancer "journey." Bet you are surprised you've been able to do it all ... right? Most of us are VERY surprised at what we can do when we have to. So ... focus on yourself right now. Try to calm down ... if you can ... and be thankful for what you've accomplished so far. Be selfish. Be VERY selfish. Think of yourself and what is best for YOU. (and NO ... that does not include Mr. Jerk! He is history. Stay away from him. You deserve sooooo much more than he can give you!).
Once this initial shock is over ... I'm sure you'll be able to come up with a "solution" to where to live etc. The pieces will eventually fit together... and you will again be surprised at how strong you REALLY are.
Big hugs.
Teena0 -
Higher guidance comes in unexpected waystgf said:I agree with everything
Kathy,
I agree with everything everyone has said. The guy was a jerk ... and you deserve much better. Yes ... he may have a ton of emotional/psychological baggage from his time in the service ... but that doesn't excuse the fact that on top of his baggage ... he IS a jerk. How in the world could anyone give a person they supposedly cared about a one day notice to move out ... so HE can start the new year off fresh? How selfish is that? And ... especially someone going to cancer treatment? J-E-R-K !!!
You are going to get through this ... I promise. Just look back on what you've done so far on your cancer "journey." Bet you are surprised you've been able to do it all ... right? Most of us are VERY surprised at what we can do when we have to. So ... focus on yourself right now. Try to calm down ... if you can ... and be thankful for what you've accomplished so far. Be selfish. Be VERY selfish. Think of yourself and what is best for YOU. (and NO ... that does not include Mr. Jerk! He is history. Stay away from him. You deserve sooooo much more than he can give you!).
Once this initial shock is over ... I'm sure you'll be able to come up with a "solution" to where to live etc. The pieces will eventually fit together... and you will again be surprised at how strong you REALLY are.
Big hugs.
Teena
I got an email a week before Christmas saying someone had sent me a note on an inactive dating forum I used before. I responded courteously and told him I wasn't interested. But he had left his phone and I noted in his profile he worked for a crisis hotline.
I felt the need to call. Just to reach another guy to get his perspective on what I did wrong.
I realize God knew in advance that I was going to be dumped. I believe he set up a lifeline for me, a guy with crisis line experience to talk to me. I felt his caring, he did help, and has said to call any time. He gave good pointers on how to deal with my anxiety, and how to move on. He's taught me there can be decent guys out there.0
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