getting weary of all this

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debra ann
debra ann Member Posts: 4
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Diagnosed with ILC in February, multiple surgeries ending with double mastectomy and reconstruction. Found out two months ago that it is now stage IV metastatic in my bones. I am growing weary of all this, this cancer that has taken over my life. Statistics say 80 percent die within 5 years. anybody have any positive stories on stage iv, i am beginning to wonder if it is worth all the treatments, i am in pain most of the time and can't do most activities i used to enjoy . some days i feel as though i am fighting for everybody else

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  • Katz77
    Katz77 Member Posts: 598
    #2
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    Im sorry
    I dont have stage 4, but stage 3c with 18/20 positive nodes. I been in remission since around May. I feel like a ticking time bomb. Waiting for the return. I do try to just live. Try to be positive. Do you have family?
    Guess we fight for others. Never thought of it that way.
    We all get weary. Been that way for few days.
    Wish I could have more wisdom for u Debbie. Please take care and keep fighting for your life. Try not to look at years, but the days.
    Guess ur getting treatments for the bone mets? Let me know. Positive thoughts and prayers for you. Katz
  • smalldoggroomer
    smalldoggroomer Member Posts: 1,184
    #3
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    Good morning Debra, Welcome
    Good morning Debra, Welcome to the board. I don't have stage IV either but I do know about the weariness. I have IBC and the prognosis from that isn't that good either. I have about a 40 to 45 percent chance of survival. And after 5 years that goes down. But we do have to live our lives to the best of out ability. I don't want to spend the rest of my life thinking and planing to die. I want to enjoy what I have left. I will fight for the sake of my family, Because when I got sick that is exactly what they did for me. Yesterday was our Anniversary 35 years. My husband want 35 more. I will try hard to give it to him. None of us know when it is our time. But I pray for you to have many many happy years it will get better. Their are stage IV ladies here and they will respond soon. Take care sweetheart we are here for you all the way. Kay
    Oh and one more thing some one has to be in the 20% that survives that will be you..
  • roseann4
    roseann4 Member Posts: 992 Member
    #4
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    smalldoggroomer said:

    Good morning Debra, Welcome
    Good morning Debra, Welcome to the board. I don't have stage IV either but I do know about the weariness. I have IBC and the prognosis from that isn't that good either. I have about a 40 to 45 percent chance of survival. And after 5 years that goes down. But we do have to live our lives to the best of out ability. I don't want to spend the rest of my life thinking and planing to die. I want to enjoy what I have left. I will fight for the sake of my family, Because when I got sick that is exactly what they did for me. Yesterday was our Anniversary 35 years. My husband want 35 more. I will try hard to give it to him. None of us know when it is our time. But I pray for you to have many many happy years it will get better. Their are stage IV ladies here and they will respond soon. Take care sweetheart we are here for you all the way. Kay
    Oh and one more thing some one has to be in the 20% that survives that will be you..

    I have a few stories.
    Doctors are treating Stage IV as a chronic illness and I know several women who have been living well for years. I have a client who has lived and worked for 14 years. There is a retired nurse in my support group who has contolled her bc for 8 years so far. She appears to be fit and does many hours of volunteer work each week. Every situation is different but I believe there is hope and who knows...perhaps a cure on the horizen.

    Hugs.

    Roseann
  • Betsy13
    Betsy13 Member Posts: 185
    #5
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    Good news!
    My friend has been cancer free (remission) for 17 years! YES, stage IV.

    Hope that helps!
    Betsy
  • debra ann
    debra ann Member Posts: 4
    #6
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    Betsy13 said:

    Good news!
    My friend has been cancer free (remission) for 17 years! YES, stage IV.

    Hope that helps!
    Betsy

    words of encouragement
    Thank you ladies, I guess I needed that. I do try to stay positive, it just gets hard some days when the pain won't go away. It is a difficult line to live everyday trying to stay active without bringing on more pain. I had received radiation in the area of bone that was the worst and have also had a couple zometa infusions now to try and build up the bones again. Had been hopeful that I could return to my normal activities, which included 4-5 hours of cardio exercise a week, but so far that hasn't happened, and now I am wondering whether that is unrealistic. Shoveling snow this week has put me back on steady pain killers. I am still trying to wrap my head around all this and having so much happen in such a short period of time as you can surely understand is just overwhelming sometimes.
  • phoenixrising
    phoenixrising Member Posts: 1,508
    #7
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    Do give yourself time to
    Do give yourself time to wrap your head around this. Once you talk to others that are the same stage you will see that what you are going through is normal. There are many women that are stage iv and are still with us after many years and enjoying life. That thought would be something I would hang on to. Take your weary days and rest and find sources of strength and joy wherever that may be. I am so sorry you are going through this and truly wish you all the best.
    hugs
    jan
  • Annette 11
    Annette 11 Member Posts: 380
    #8
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    Debra ann
    I didn't have ILC but I also had a double mastectomy for inv. ductual carcinoma. I am sorry you have such pain but please don't give up...we are all pulling for you. We are here for you.
    God Bless.
    Hugs.
    Annette
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    #9
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    Annette 11 said:

    Debra ann
    I didn't have ILC but I also had a double mastectomy for inv. ductual carcinoma. I am sorry you have such pain but please don't give up...we are all pulling for you. We are here for you.
    God Bless.
    Hugs.
    Annette

    Love, hope, prayers and Strength ... I wish for all of you

    bright, shinning Warriors. Peace and Courage, I pray for you all. I am inspired by your Courage.


    Vicki Sam
  • Marsha Mulvey
    Marsha Mulvey Member Posts: 597 Member
    #10
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    Annette 11 said:

    Debra ann
    I didn't have ILC but I also had a double mastectomy for inv. ductual carcinoma. I am sorry you have such pain but please don't give up...we are all pulling for you. We are here for you.
    God Bless.
    Hugs.
    Annette

    20%
    Debra, how about that other 20%! I plan - or at least hope to be a part of that number! Yes, I have family to fight for but I also fight for myself. I was Stage IV at original diagnosis in February and decided at that moment to battle for as long as I'm able. It is hard and I sometimes get very tired (weary) but try to pick myself up and keep going. After forty-three weeks of a variety of chemo treatments, I had last week off and that alone renewed my strength and determination. My mets are to the liver, bones, and skin with many lymph nodes involved. I know my prognosis is not very good, but I am a human being, an individual - not a number. Stay strong, positive, and in the fight. Best wishes. God bless us all. Marsha
  • Betsy13
    Betsy13 Member Posts: 185
    #11
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    debra ann said:

    words of encouragement
    Thank you ladies, I guess I needed that. I do try to stay positive, it just gets hard some days when the pain won't go away. It is a difficult line to live everyday trying to stay active without bringing on more pain. I had received radiation in the area of bone that was the worst and have also had a couple zometa infusions now to try and build up the bones again. Had been hopeful that I could return to my normal activities, which included 4-5 hours of cardio exercise a week, but so far that hasn't happened, and now I am wondering whether that is unrealistic. Shoveling snow this week has put me back on steady pain killers. I am still trying to wrap my head around all this and having so much happen in such a short period of time as you can surely understand is just overwhelming sometimes.

    maybe a touch unrealistic!
    I think you need to be kind to yourself. Before I started exercising again, I waited one month after treatment stopped, then I could only exercise for 1/2 hour one time per week or I made myself ill and was in bed. I am able to work out 2 times per weeks now. YIPPEE!! Once for 1.5 hours doing yoga and the other about 20 minutes just doing toning exercises. It is SO difficult to slow yourself down. I cannot stand not being able to exercise. However, I look where I was at the middle of June to where I am now...and it is good. Not great, but good. Look for the little positives where you can find them. You will get stronger, I promise.

    I can relate when you talk about trying to wrap your head around all this...I still am.

    Hang Tough!
    Betsy

    PS ~ I overdid it and ended up on bedrest for 2 weeks in July. Trust me, you do NOT want to do that!
  • jnl
    jnl Member Posts: 3,869 Member
    #12
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    Betsy13 said:

    maybe a touch unrealistic!
    I think you need to be kind to yourself. Before I started exercising again, I waited one month after treatment stopped, then I could only exercise for 1/2 hour one time per week or I made myself ill and was in bed. I am able to work out 2 times per weeks now. YIPPEE!! Once for 1.5 hours doing yoga and the other about 20 minutes just doing toning exercises. It is SO difficult to slow yourself down. I cannot stand not being able to exercise. However, I look where I was at the middle of June to where I am now...and it is good. Not great, but good. Look for the little positives where you can find them. You will get stronger, I promise.

    I can relate when you talk about trying to wrap your head around all this...I still am.

    Hang Tough!
    Betsy

    PS ~ I overdid it and ended up on bedrest for 2 weeks in July. Trust me, you do NOT want to do that!

    I am sorry, so sorry. But,
    I am sorry, so sorry. But, please do not give up hope and keep on fighting. The diagnosis of breast cancer is enough to make us all crazy, let alone all else that we endure.

    Find the strength to keep fighting and to look forward to a long, healthy life. You can do it!


    Hugs, Leeza
  • betsymorgan
    betsymorgan Member Posts: 25
    #13
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    Walking that fine line
    That fine line between telling others how scared and overwhelmed you are and being brave for others....we all do it. those of you with Stage IV, you do it with such grace. You are not fighting in vain or by yourselves. In those dark, weary days, I hope you can remember how many of us are thinking of you, even though we don't know you.
  • debra ann
    debra ann Member Posts: 4
    #14
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    betsymorgan said:

    Walking that fine line
    That fine line between telling others how scared and overwhelmed you are and being brave for others....we all do it. those of you with Stage IV, you do it with such grace. You are not fighting in vain or by yourselves. In those dark, weary days, I hope you can remember how many of us are thinking of you, even though we don't know you.

    thank you all
    you've all certainly given me some things to think about........ plugging along without overdoing it....
  • Betsy13
    Betsy13 Member Posts: 185
    #15
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    Hang in there
    and hang tough. You can do this! My darkest memory of my treatment was the night I was laying in bed and my feet were cold. I was too tired to get up and get socks. My daughter came in my room to see how I was. I asked her to get socks for me. In the morning, I woke up with socks on my feet. By the time she crossed the room, maybe 7 ft. and came back to me, I was sound asleep. She put my socks on my cold feet. Whenever I feel down, I remember this and see how far I have come...and how close my 17 year old daughter and I are.

    Hugs and Prayers~
    Betsy
  • DianeBC
    DianeBC Member Posts: 3,881 Member
    #16
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    VickiSam said:

    Love, hope, prayers and Strength ... I wish for all of you

    bright, shinning Warriors. Peace and Courage, I pray for you all. I am inspired by your Courage.


    Vicki Sam

    I am so very sorry that you
    I am so very sorry that you have bone mets now. I will certainly put you in my prayers.


    Hugs, Diane
  • DebbyM
    DebbyM Member Posts: 3,289 Member
    #17
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    roseann4 said:

    I have a few stories.
    Doctors are treating Stage IV as a chronic illness and I know several women who have been living well for years. I have a client who has lived and worked for 14 years. There is a retired nurse in my support group who has contolled her bc for 8 years so far. She appears to be fit and does many hours of volunteer work each week. Every situation is different but I believe there is hope and who knows...perhaps a cure on the horizen.

    Hugs.

    Roseann

    I don't know anything about
    I don't know anything about Stage IV, but, I am offering prayers and hope to you.


    Hugs, Debby

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