Mom of cervical cancer patient (recurrent)

gagrandma

Hi, My daughter has been diagnosed with recurrent cervical cancer. She is in the process of trying to get admitted to a clinical trial as the doctor does not want to do surgery except as a last resort. I am really struggling with how to support her. She is extremely depressed. I feel helpless as there is really nothing I can do but "be there" for her. Would love to hear from other Mom's who have been there.

beckyracn

I am not a mom of a cancer
I am not a mom of a cancer patient, but a mom who is a cancer patient. There is nothing I could ask of anyone around me other than "Be there" for me. Listen when I feel like talking/venting. Help when I ask for it, etc. There is nothing more important than support in a time like this.

thompsa2

Daughter with cervical cancer
I am a daughter in remission from cervical cancer. I went through treatment last spring for stage 2B. I am now very scared of a recurrence, because I do fear the idea of the surgery that could be involved if the cancer comes back. My mother is not the most expressive person, but all through my treatment she was by my side, taking notes, questioning the doctors, bringing me food, and just sitting in hotel rooms with me (I had to stay in another town for two months during treatment). Her presence and love are my most cherished memories of that time. Even though I was depressed and sick, to feel her love, and the love of all my family and friends, was a beautiful experience. I can relate to your daughter's situation, and I am so sorry that she is going through a recurrence. If she can find folks to talk to that have been through similar experiences, maybe that would help. I have found that it is helpful just to be able to express to people that I am angry and depressed. When you have cancer, everyone wants you to be positive, and people try to tell you things to keep your spirits up. But sometimes, I think you should be allowed to grieve as a cancer patient. So perhaps understanding that depression is normal under the circumstances might be helpful, and I think her speaking to others who have been through cancer is important (at least it is to me, and I have not found many people to talk with yet). Being a cancer patient can be very isolating. You aren't going to be able to fully understand her experience. But love, kindness, giving care to another - that is what we need. I know I am a stranger, but if she wants to talk to another person who has had cervical cancer and shares similar fears, I can get my phone number or email to you. I don't know your daughter's age, but I am 35. Being diagnosed at a relatively young age brings about issues that are also unique. Take care, and I wish you both all the best.

Ashley