Can I vent?

Findingout
Findingout Member Posts: 132
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Okay, I'm done right now with all the reading and researching... knowing 11 days now about having cancer... after feeling shock I went into "research mode." Now I'm getting angry. What happened is that I have been reading some of the side effects of tamoxifen, which I am supposedly going to take for 5 Years. That's after the mastectomy, chemo, and radiation. And they don't even know what kind of tumor it is yet!!! Not an intraductal. I've been mad all day. And I know all about the Kubler-Ross stages of grief, and I'm DEFINITELY in the anger stage. I thought, OK, I'll lose my boob. OK, I'll do chemo and be miserable for 4-5 months. OK, I'll maybe have radiation after that. But THIS? Hey,I was already miserable and sick as a teen, for years. Been There, Done That!! AND, I was injured 14 yrs ago in a robbery-ambush. Now this? I'm pretty f-ing mad. Thanks for listening. And I know I'm doing the pity pot thing, I just wanted to vent, to people who 'get it.'

Comments

  • smalldoggroomer
    smalldoggroomer Member Posts: 1,184
    #2
    Hello and welcome to the
    Hello and welcome to the board.. You go right ahead a vent all you want. I also got very angry at first it is normal. You have just found out about your cancer give yourself some time. Keep coming here we will help any way we can. As far as the tamoxifen every one is different it may not affect you at all. What kind of cancer do you have? During chemo there are things you can do to make it easier on your self. what kind of chemo are you going to have. Just remember life does go on and you will get through this. It is doable. Take a deep breath and try to relax. You can ask any questions here. You can vent all you need to it does help to release the stress. And never be sorry we are here for you and ready to help. It helped me allot to read back post I learned allot that way. And the more you learn the easier it gets. Take care and please let us know what you need. Kay
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #3
    Vent away...
    we all need to vent...
    so sorry you are going through this..
  • KathyLQ
    KathyLQ Member Posts: 100
    #4
    You're on a fast track already!
    11 days and you've done as much reading and researching as you have? That's pretty amazing. You certainly jumped with both feet to find out as much as you could!

    It took me months to even find out this website. It took me months to find out things that it sounds like you've found out already. You're doing fine.

    I'm not sure I went into an angry mode at first. I did go into an angry mode after my mastectomy, because I felt like I had been deceived.

    I have on multiple occasions felt like I was overwhelmed with all the studying I was trying to do. I'd read, and then get this mental feeling that it was too much to handle. It was very, very hard to talk about it with my BF and kids. All I wanted to do is run away from it all. I knew only I could find the answers I needed, but I wanted to run away and not study any more. So that's what I did often, put it aside for a couple of days until I had the strength to think about it again.

    Nothing better than this place for support and a place to vent. Vent all you want. We all are doing the same.
  • Scotch Freckles
    Scotch Freckles Member Posts: 273 Member
    #5
    Rant All You Want
    Hey Findingout, Join the Crowd. We all have had those days. At least you are educating yourself as to what you can expect. Be sure to make a list of all you questions so when you talk with the doc's you have the upper hand and expect answers. It might be helpful to take someone with you who can wright down the answers to your questions. It does become overwhelming and you forget alot between office visit and home. Maybe Tomoxifen will not end up being your treatment. Hang in there and get the answers you expect. Sounds like your strong personnelly and emotionally. Take control of what you are capabel of and let the professionals do all the worring. We are all here to help you get through the nightmare.

    Scotch Freckles
  • weazer
    weazer Member Posts: 440
    #6
    Scotch Freckles said:

    Rant All You Want
    Hey Findingout, Join the Crowd. We all have had those days. At least you are educating yourself as to what you can expect. Be sure to make a list of all you questions so when you talk with the doc's you have the upper hand and expect answers. It might be helpful to take someone with you who can wright down the answers to your questions. It does become overwhelming and you forget alot between office visit and home. Maybe Tomoxifen will not end up being your treatment. Hang in there and get the answers you expect. Sounds like your strong personnelly and emotionally. Take control of what you are capabel of and let the professionals do all the worring. We are all here to help you get through the nightmare.

    Scotch Freckles

    Hell Sweetheart
    Vent away!!!!! CANCER SUCKS THE BIG ONE!
    Your Sis Karie
    And I'm sure I'm going to give a good read in a few days!!
    I'm tired of my man and the last year of my life!!!
    Hang in there sisrer love
    Karie
  • Heatherbelle
    Heatherbelle Member Posts: 1,226 Member
    #7
    Vent away! I got VERY angry,
    Vent away! I got VERY angry, strangely, after I finished chemo treatment. I just wanted to tell you - I had a bilateral mastectomy, reconstruction, and chemo. Done with all. I'm also on Tamoxifen, almost 2 months now. For me - the only side effects I have had are hot flashes -which have lessened ALOT since I first started it (and not nearly as bad as the hot flashes I got from chemo), and (hmm im trying to put this delicately) - needing lubricant with my husband, which we used anyway so no change there;)
    I'm glad that you're researching & learning all you can, that's what I did also in the beginning and it helped give me back a sense of control.
    Glad you got your vent out, we ALL need to from time to time - and yes, it's MUCH easier to vent here with others who "get it".
    *hugs*
    Heather
  • Annette 11
    Annette 11 Member Posts: 380
    #8
    findingout VENT all you want.
    My mother is 95...had a small calcification BC when she was 80...had mastectomy on the one breast...was told she didn't need any treatment just Tamoxifen. She took it for 5 years, never had any side effects with it. She was given a choice as to lumpectomy or mast. she chose mast. because she didn't want chemo or rads and would rather just take tamoxifen.
    Sorry to hear what you went thru 14 yrs. ago. BC is horrible. When they find out what kind of BC you have perhaps you won't need tamoxifen. Maybe you'll be TN like few of us are.
    Hugs
    Annette
  • Ritzy
    Ritzy Member Posts: 4,381 Member
    #9
    Heatherbelle said:

    Vent away! I got VERY angry,
    Vent away! I got VERY angry, strangely, after I finished chemo treatment. I just wanted to tell you - I had a bilateral mastectomy, reconstruction, and chemo. Done with all. I'm also on Tamoxifen, almost 2 months now. For me - the only side effects I have had are hot flashes -which have lessened ALOT since I first started it (and not nearly as bad as the hot flashes I got from chemo), and (hmm im trying to put this delicately) - needing lubricant with my husband, which we used anyway so no change there;)
    I'm glad that you're researching & learning all you can, that's what I did also in the beginning and it helped give me back a sense of control.
    Glad you got your vent out, we ALL need to from time to time - and yes, it's MUCH easier to vent here with others who "get it".
    *hugs*
    Heather

    Venting here is almost
    Venting here is almost required. It is a safe place and we all understand. I pray that you feel better and that somehow we can help you.


    I don't take tamox, as my oncologist wanted me to. I fear the side effects more and I am not convinced that it actually helps in the first place, but, that is just me.

    Sending cyber hugs,


    Sue :)
  • Findingout
    Findingout Member Posts: 132
    #10
    weazer said:

    Hell Sweetheart
    Vent away!!!!! CANCER SUCKS THE BIG ONE!
    Your Sis Karie
    And I'm sure I'm going to give a good read in a few days!!
    I'm tired of my man and the last year of my life!!!
    Hang in there sisrer love
    Karie

    This made me LAUGH OUT LOUD.
    This made me LAUGH OUT LOUD. Thank you.
  • Findingout
    Findingout Member Posts: 132
    #11
    Ritzy said:

    Venting here is almost
    Venting here is almost required. It is a safe place and we all understand. I pray that you feel better and that somehow we can help you.


    I don't take tamox, as my oncologist wanted me to. I fear the side effects more and I am not convinced that it actually helps in the first place, but, that is just me.

    Sending cyber hugs,


    Sue :)

    Hi Sue, I'm starting to have
    Hi Sue, I'm starting to have the same thought. But I'm not really close to that phase yet... so I have time to think about it.
  • Findingout
    Findingout Member Posts: 132
    #12
    KathyLQ said:

    You're on a fast track already!
    11 days and you've done as much reading and researching as you have? That's pretty amazing. You certainly jumped with both feet to find out as much as you could!

    It took me months to even find out this website. It took me months to find out things that it sounds like you've found out already. You're doing fine.

    I'm not sure I went into an angry mode at first. I did go into an angry mode after my mastectomy, because I felt like I had been deceived.

    I have on multiple occasions felt like I was overwhelmed with all the studying I was trying to do. I'd read, and then get this mental feeling that it was too much to handle. It was very, very hard to talk about it with my BF and kids. All I wanted to do is run away from it all. I knew only I could find the answers I needed, but I wanted to run away and not study any more. So that's what I did often, put it aside for a couple of days until I had the strength to think about it again.

    Nothing better than this place for support and a place to vent. Vent all you want. We all are doing the same.

    Yep - I think I went into
    Yep - I think I went into shock hearing the news and researching was my 'remedy' to get through each day. I found this site the next day. Thank you all for writing. I too take a couple days off here and there because I still feel COMPLETELY normal except for being diagnosed with cancer!!!!!!! But of course there's as much disconcerting info out there as good (or more). Funny how I got more upset about the Tamox side effect info than anything else. I have to get a mastectomy, then chemo, then radiation. And Tamoxifen. Geez. Am I going to wake up and it was all a dream?
  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
    #13
    I'll start with the same
    I'll start with the same statement that's been made many times before and that is cancer sucks!! I applaud you for researching and reaching out and I totally understand your anger. There is so much information out there regarding breast cancer but until the final pathology report is back you won't know exactly what type or stage of bc you are dealing with. There are varying protocols for the various bc types. I personally have been through lumpectomy, chemo, radiation and then a mastectomy. I was not debilitated by the chemo and actually worked through it. The same for the radiation treatments. Plus, if your oncologist puts you on Tamoxifen and your side effects are unbearable that will be addressed. The one thing I have learned from the sisters on this board is that we are all different and react differently to treatments. I'm glad you found this site and please know that we care and will be here to listen and offer our experiences. This is something that I would not wish on my worst enemy but with that being said, it is something that affects our life and we have to deal with it. We're here and ready, willing and able to assist. Take care and continue to post.
  • Betsy13
    Betsy13 Member Posts: 185
    #14
    Findingout said:

    Hi Sue, I'm starting to have
    Hi Sue, I'm starting to have the same thought. But I'm not really close to that phase yet... so I have time to think about it.

    second opinion
    I went for a second opinion with another onc. regarding tamox. He said that if you are having mammograms and MRI's alternating every 6 months that you don't need to take tamox. Anything would show up in the tests and they would catch it soon enough.

    My aftercare is visiting the rad. onc every 3 months for the first year, then every 6 months for 4 more years and mammograms and MRI's alternating every 6 months for 5 years.

    Hope that helps,
    Betsy
  • Findingout
    Findingout Member Posts: 132
    #15
    Annette 11 said:

    findingout VENT all you want.
    My mother is 95...had a small calcification BC when she was 80...had mastectomy on the one breast...was told she didn't need any treatment just Tamoxifen. She took it for 5 years, never had any side effects with it. She was given a choice as to lumpectomy or mast. she chose mast. because she didn't want chemo or rads and would rather just take tamoxifen.
    Sorry to hear what you went thru 14 yrs. ago. BC is horrible. When they find out what kind of BC you have perhaps you won't need tamoxifen. Maybe you'll be TN like few of us are.
    Hugs
    Annette

    Thanks Annette. I'm not
    Thanks Annette. I'm not even sure what "TN" means! ... but maybe I'll learn while I read other posts. I'm so glad to hear the wonderful story of your mom. That's gratifying to read. Happy New Year!
  • Findingout
    Findingout Member Posts: 132
    #16
    MyTurnNow said:

    I'll start with the same
    I'll start with the same statement that's been made many times before and that is cancer sucks!! I applaud you for researching and reaching out and I totally understand your anger. There is so much information out there regarding breast cancer but until the final pathology report is back you won't know exactly what type or stage of bc you are dealing with. There are varying protocols for the various bc types. I personally have been through lumpectomy, chemo, radiation and then a mastectomy. I was not debilitated by the chemo and actually worked through it. The same for the radiation treatments. Plus, if your oncologist puts you on Tamoxifen and your side effects are unbearable that will be addressed. The one thing I have learned from the sisters on this board is that we are all different and react differently to treatments. I'm glad you found this site and please know that we care and will be here to listen and offer our experiences. This is something that I would not wish on my worst enemy but with that being said, it is something that affects our life and we have to deal with it. We're here and ready, willing and able to assist. Take care and continue to post.

    Thanks. Amazing you had no
    Thanks. Amazing you had no debilitating side effects. Maybe when we're miserable we post more - ? I need to read stories like yours right now so that dread doesn't get too much hold on me. Because otherwise, it's hard to believe I've been diagnosed with cancer when I feel so NORMAL... and just thinking of the New Year.. the Year of the Unknown.
    I want to go in feeling happy and balanced. I know, that might sound phony or superficial; who can be happy with a new cancer diagnosis??? But happiness is a decision! (I learned that around age 40) And right now, I'm deciding to be happy! Made baked quesadillas and shopped for goodies for tonight - and NO ONE'S even coming over, as of now, and I don't care, I'm having a party!!! Big hugs to all my sisters out there...
  • sal314
    sal314 Member Posts: 599 Member
    #17
    Vent Away!
    That's why this board is here:)

    As for the whole Tamoxifen thing...all I can say is keep an open mind. Everyone's body is different and you don't know what side effects you MAY or MAY NOT have until you're on it for a bit. Some have side effects that are minor and can be lived with. Others have to get off of it or "chose" to stop it. That's the main point...YOU are the ultimate decision maker. If you really don't want to take it, you don't have to.

    I tried it right after my chemo was done and just hated it. I then waited 4 years before I decided that I should try it again. Had side effects, but they lessoned over time and I just decided to "live" with them. It's amazing how fast the 5 years went.

    Try not to worry too much about it at this point. Get through the other stuff first. Then you can decide what you want to do. And the "good" thing about Tamoxifen is you can stop it anytime.

    Blessings,
    Sally

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