The perfect crap storm of a reconnection

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Kerry S
Kerry S Member Posts: 606 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
What a night. I woke up last night at 2 am with a brain signal of a crap emergency. Took care of it and back to bed. Ten minutes later another one hits. Then another and another.

The scary old woman needs her sleep or she gets even scarier, so I go downstairs, took 2 Lomotil, fired up the woodstove and went to the couch. After a few more crap emergencies I fall asleep.

Now what I have learned from this crap storm:

A. Lomotil is truly a wonder drug
B. The toilet paper in this house is in reality a fine grit sandpaper
C. My butt has turned into a real nambe pambe from lack of use
D. My body is not ready for fruit cocktail at dinner
E. Reconnection poop can be used to etch glass

No matter what, this is still better then the bag.

Kerry

Comments

  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
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    So, having been there/done that....
    I think I speak for many who read your first post about how wonderful everything was.....I just smiled and waited for a post like this one....ROFL!

    Yup, welcome to the club...

    A. Yes, Lomotil is a wonder drug...but so are banannas and cheese, and other foods...you will find the perfect ones..

    B. Toilet paper I replaced with those kids' wipes...FAR easier on the skin!

    C. Yup, it hasn't had to 'hold and go' for a long time....patience, dear sir!

    D. Don't even THINK about beef jerky right now...ROFL!

    E. 'Garbage in/garbage out'....remember, everything that passes your lips, pass thru another opening!!!

    Having never had an external bag (my new one is internal, made out of descending colon, and I was hooked up during the resection surgery), I can only imagine...

    Hugs, Kathi
  • khl8
    khl8 Member Posts: 807
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    KathiM said:

    So, having been there/done that....
    I think I speak for many who read your first post about how wonderful everything was.....I just smiled and waited for a post like this one....ROFL!

    Yup, welcome to the club...

    A. Yes, Lomotil is a wonder drug...but so are banannas and cheese, and other foods...you will find the perfect ones..

    B. Toilet paper I replaced with those kids' wipes...FAR easier on the skin!

    C. Yup, it hasn't had to 'hold and go' for a long time....patience, dear sir!

    D. Don't even THINK about beef jerky right now...ROFL!

    E. 'Garbage in/garbage out'....remember, everything that passes your lips, pass thru another opening!!!

    Having never had an external bag (my new one is internal, made out of descending colon, and I was hooked up during the resection surgery), I can only imagine...

    Hugs, Kathi

    Kerry,
    I am on the same page

    Kerry,
    I am on the same page as Kathi M. I have been waiting for this post as well. Cottonelle wipes, they are flushable and feel so much better on the behind. Be careful what you eat for a bit, and write down what you are puttin in so you can monitor how it affects the output.
    BUy dear sir, Yes it is better than the bag!!!!! HANG IN THERE!

    Kathy
  • jkook717
    jkook717 Member Posts: 2
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    khl8 said:

    Kerry,
    I am on the same page

    Kerry,
    I am on the same page as Kathi M. I have been waiting for this post as well. Cottonelle wipes, they are flushable and feel so much better on the behind. Be careful what you eat for a bit, and write down what you are puttin in so you can monitor how it affects the output.
    BUy dear sir, Yes it is better than the bag!!!!! HANG IN THERE!

    Kathy

    You hit the nail on the head.....
    You are so right on your comments!

    I lived with an illiostomy for 11 months, and hated it. Stoma burns and hernia....
    Once the process started, there was no holding back for a while! I hated toilet paper, and my first couple attempts with baby wipes weren't much better...my savior has been fiber!
    No more little, unsatisfying trips to the bathroom!!!! It finally felt good to go, and I felt like I was finally taking a productive dump! Sorry! We men are babies when we suffer, and don't always say the right things...
    BUT 101% better than the bag!!!
  • mommyof2kds
    mommyof2kds Member Posts: 519
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    Hang in there, it will get
    Hang in there, it will get better.. Love your posts. Petrina
  • AnneCan
    AnneCan Member Posts: 3,673 Member
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    ONLY YOU
    can make everything you do sound like an adventure! I think you could have a career in storytelling! Darn right Suzie needs her sleep; she needs all her wits about her to deal with your shenanigans! Keep up the great attitude!
  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member
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    Welcome to Reconnection
    Had to laugh at your first post after reconnection and having an "almost normal poop." Welcome to the urge, urge, urge and then mess. I'm sometimes still having a mess at night even though my legs can run like the dikens and my butt cheeks are squished sometimes I still don't make it to the bathroom on time. It's been a year and things have gotten better but still having issues. Hope you do much better. And remember your fart will never be a given :)

    Kim
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
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    You make me laugh
    Oh, Kerry.

    I do love to read your posts, and I'm sorry that I'm usually laughing instead of feeling the deep sympathy I should be feeling. I AM sorry about all this mess, you do tell it in a funny way.

    Hope it gets much better soon.

    *hugs*
    Gail