My Xmas Cards

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angelsbaby
angelsbaby Member Posts: 1,165 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
i want to thank you for my xmas cards and for remembering angel and i. It is a sad time for me no xmas stuff at my place i just can't. Got the grandkids there presents my son from cali is coming to stay with me for a few days at xmas. I wish everyone a nice xmas. thanks again.

michelle

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  • christinecarl
    christinecarl Member Posts: 543 Member
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    Merry Christmas
    I am thinking of you and hoping you can find peace this Christmas. So hard to go through the holidays without loved ones, you often feel like you are just going through the motions with no real connection to the happiness everyone else seems to have.

    I still have not put any decorations up, most of them were given to me by my mom, and after she passed (colon cancer too) I have a hard time to even look at them, my little Dept 59 village sits in the closet collecting dust, but I hope to at least put lights up around my patio door, for some reason just that small thing always makes me smile. So maybe find just one thing, maybe a new wreath or a candle, something to help you get some bit of joy, even if it is small.

    {{hugs}}
  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member
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    Christmas
    Hoping that much joy comes to you this season and that you are blessed with many gifts. I'm sure that this is difficult but you are dearly remembered and you are always a joy to this board. Merry Christmas dear girl. You are always thought of.

    Kim
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
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    Hi, Michelle
    Michelle,

    I was thinking of you today and wondering how you were doing with Christmas. I'm sorry it's so hard, but I surely understand how it would be that way. I'm glad your son is coming to visit.

    Praying for peace for you.

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • sharpy102
    sharpy102 Member Posts: 368 Member
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    I totally understand you
    I totally understand you, Michelle...I am the same way...I'm still hoping I'll fall asleep soon and will wake up only in the mid January...I soooooooo don't want to see Christmas coming...I hate it!! And I'm already hating how so many people put up the Christmas decorations on their houses...the other day I was biking home from school (it was dark already) and I saw a big pine tree front of a house lighted up with nice colored lights..I stopped with my bike, and stared at it for a minute, but then my eyes got totally filled up with tears and a big ball formed in my throat that I felt its going to choke me...I don't want to accept and realize the reality that I am never ever going to have a Christmas with my Mom again...or my dad and my brother...sometimes it hits me as if it's the first time and I find myself asking "where did my family go?" and this is followed by a question that suffocates me "Why?"....and I don't find the answer to that and it annoys me, makes me angry, and feel defeated....But...all in all, I'm not mad...not mad at Mom for giving up...I just awfully miss her, and keep hoping every night that if I stay really quiet in the bed I'll hear her sneaking to my window from the outside and gently tapping it to let her in...I still hope she'll come back...I still hope I'll have my family back...that I'll be able to sit down by our table and have a good meal and talk about school, holidays, my parent's childhood, how their parents were etc. I still hope I'll find them all and I'll be happy again...very happy...so, I totally understand you, Michelle! Although it wasn't my husband who left, but I am very sure that it leaves the same emptiness as if you lost your family...I know, I say it who is not over this whole thing but: BE STRONG, Michelle! Show your husband that you'll be strong...that's what I always try...to show my family that I will not break!!! Good luck!
  • christinecarl
    christinecarl Member Posts: 543 Member
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    sharpy102 said:

    I totally understand you
    I totally understand you, Michelle...I am the same way...I'm still hoping I'll fall asleep soon and will wake up only in the mid January...I soooooooo don't want to see Christmas coming...I hate it!! And I'm already hating how so many people put up the Christmas decorations on their houses...the other day I was biking home from school (it was dark already) and I saw a big pine tree front of a house lighted up with nice colored lights..I stopped with my bike, and stared at it for a minute, but then my eyes got totally filled up with tears and a big ball formed in my throat that I felt its going to choke me...I don't want to accept and realize the reality that I am never ever going to have a Christmas with my Mom again...or my dad and my brother...sometimes it hits me as if it's the first time and I find myself asking "where did my family go?" and this is followed by a question that suffocates me "Why?"....and I don't find the answer to that and it annoys me, makes me angry, and feel defeated....But...all in all, I'm not mad...not mad at Mom for giving up...I just awfully miss her, and keep hoping every night that if I stay really quiet in the bed I'll hear her sneaking to my window from the outside and gently tapping it to let her in...I still hope she'll come back...I still hope I'll have my family back...that I'll be able to sit down by our table and have a good meal and talk about school, holidays, my parent's childhood, how their parents were etc. I still hope I'll find them all and I'll be happy again...very happy...so, I totally understand you, Michelle! Although it wasn't my husband who left, but I am very sure that it leaves the same emptiness as if you lost your family...I know, I say it who is not over this whole thing but: BE STRONG, Michelle! Show your husband that you'll be strong...that's what I always try...to show my family that I will not break!!! Good luck!

    Sharpy
    So good to hear from you. Your strength inspires me, may you find peace and happiness in the coming year!
  • Nana b
    Nana b Member Posts: 3,030 Member
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    Sharpy
    So good to hear from you. Your strength inspires me, may you find peace and happiness in the coming year!

    So sorry Michele! I know
    So sorry Michele! I know it's hard for you. My sister in law who lives in Phoenix lost her Mom last year and she called me last night in tears. She told me she makes believe that her Mom is still alive, and that because she does, she still picks up the phone to call her. She is really having a hard time right now, and I am sure it's the holidays and her Dad's birthday just passed and everything is different without her Mom. They were so close, they were best friends and they talked for hours on the phone each night. I am at loss for words to comfort her, because.......it touches home, what will my daughters do. How will Andria coupe, who will help Kelly. Who will tell Brandy that she is doing great and who will let Michele to relax.... I mean I say all the right things, but lord, it has to be soooo hard on the survivors.

    Just thinking about loss hurts. I hope that your days get lighter, and I hope that you live on and try to move on with Angel in your heart. We don't want our love ones to hurt, we want them living and enjoying life. You know Angel would.

    Take Care of yourself Michele, I have two members on this board to call the next time I am in Phoenix and you are one of them. Maybe we can meet at Greasewood Flats (oh, geez, is that the right name??) and have a burger and beer.
  • sharpy102
    sharpy102 Member Posts: 368 Member
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    Sharpy
    So good to hear from you. Your strength inspires me, may you find peace and happiness in the coming year!

    thank you
    Thank you Christine! I'm far from being strong, but I try....good luck to you and you enjoy your holiday, okay?
    Sophie
  • Kathleen808
    Kathleen808 Member Posts: 2,342 Member
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    michelle
    Michelle,
    I think of you often and I can only imagine how hard it is to get through the holidays without Angel. I'm glad you're son is coming from California to be with you. I pray for peace, some joy and a bit of laughter for you.

    Aloha,
    Kathleen
  • angelsbaby
    angelsbaby Member Posts: 1,165 Member
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    michelle
    Michelle,
    I think of you often and I can only imagine how hard it is to get through the holidays without Angel. I'm glad you're son is coming from California to be with you. I pray for peace, some joy and a bit of laughter for you.

    Aloha,
    Kathleen

    Thanks
    Have a nice xmas got the grandkids buying them dsi

    michelle