First post.

Kathleen808

Marty
Marty,
I can only imagine how hard it will be to say good bye to your kids this time. I am with others who think you may have options. Look into HIPEC as well as some docs that are doing clinical trials. Dr. Lenz at USC seems to be on the front of trials for Stage 4 folks when other things haven't worked (I did not read through all the replies so others may have suggested this).

Thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time.

Aloha,
Kathleen

Kerry S

Get that damned white flag down now
Hey my friend. Get that damned white flag down now. Get your **** in gear and fight this crap. You are right, your kids need you. Then your grandkids will need you.

Now go back and read John23’s post again. Then fire the **** that told you to put up the white flag.

I had one Onc that told me I had 2 years. Fired him.
Attitude Attitude Attitude!!!!!!!!
Kerry

Martyr

Kerry S said:

Get that damned white flag down now
Hey my friend. Get that damned white flag down now. Get your **** in gear and fight this crap. You are right, your kids need you. Then your grandkids will need you.

Now go back and read John23’s post again. Then fire the **** that told you to put up the white flag.

I had one Onc that told me I had 2 years. Fired him.
Attitude Attitude Attitude!!!!!!!!
Kerry

White Flag?
Sorry if I gave the impression I'm ready to walk into the light but I AM NOT .
My doctor didn't give me 6 months. I researched malignant ascites and came up with that number myself. She just confirmed that it was not a good sign and did not refute my findings. I realize we are all unique and it would be silly to think we all have the same expiration date..BUT, I am a realist.

My sister died at 32 of Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, My father at 63 of Lung Cancer, my mother is a survivor of Breast Cancer. I have seen cancer up close and personal. I choose not to ride an emotional roller coaster and that means being realistic.

I guess my question should have been to find out if anybody else has...or has had malignant ascites and what the treatment / outcome was.

Right now the Erbitux rash / acne is absolutely awful. This is like the 7 plagues. I had 6 liters of fluid drained from my abdomen last Wednesday and it looks like I'm on track for a repeat performance this Wednesday.

Martyr

herdizziness said:

Sweetheart
WE were both diagnosed in the same month, mine was February 6th of this year. They gave me six months, 9 months ago. Now I'm getting surgery. I would highly suggest finding another oncologist to get another opinion from.
As was said before, yes get your affairs in order, for the just in case, I did.
I also had my daughter out here for the weekend, just because I'm scared of surgery and wanted to see both my children together before my surgery. It gladdened my heart so much, that it makes me feel stronger for the surgery, but... on the just in case, I had gone through pictures of her from her first hour after her birth and all through her life to give her. I also, made sure when we had our picture taken at Alcatraz in San Francisco on Friday that I gave my most dorkiest face I've ever made in the picture. They didn't know it and all cracked up when they saw the final result, this for me insures that they will be able to look at one of the last (if it is) pic's of their Mom and laugh the heck out of themselves. Reminding them I loved laughter and they can keep their laughs even after I'm gone.
But mostly in your case, get the "other" opinion, perhaps a new combo of chemo, etc., one never knows, unless one looks. Never take the dire news and let yourself say goodbye to life from just one onc's opinion.
Winter Marie

Surgery
Thanks for your reply. What surgery are you having done?

John23

Martyr said:

White Flag?
Sorry if I gave the impression I'm ready to walk into the light but I AM NOT .
My doctor didn't give me 6 months. I researched malignant ascites and came up with that number myself. She just confirmed that it was not a good sign and did not refute my findings. I realize we are all unique and it would be silly to think we all have the same expiration date..BUT, I am a realist.

My sister died at 32 of Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, My father at 63 of Lung Cancer, my mother is a survivor of Breast Cancer. I have seen cancer up close and personal. I choose not to ride an emotional roller coaster and that means being realistic.

I guess my question should have been to find out if anybody else has...or has had malignant ascites and what the treatment / outcome was.

Right now the Erbitux rash / acne is absolutely awful. This is like the 7 plagues. I had 6 liters of fluid drained from my abdomen last Wednesday and it looks like I'm on track for a repeat performance this Wednesday.

MartyR -
MartyR -

Re:
"I have seen cancer up close and personal. I choose not to ride
an emotional roller coaster and that means being realistic."

That's absolutely the best approach! It's "nice" to have a positive
attitude, and even sincere religious conviction, but cancer is cancer,
and the best, most positive thinking, emotional giants of religious
fortitude have succumbed to this stupid disease.

However......

You need to get other qualified opinions from physicians out
of the immediate association; out of the immediate area.

I'm like you are Marty; I'm a realist. I'm not going to go beat my
head against a rock trying to locate a physician that's going to
tell me that I'm going to live, if it's a pretty damned sure shot that
I'm going to die.

I find it interesting to read at this forum, that when an oncologist
tells someone the truth, readers get mad; they tell the individual to
keep looking for an oncologist that will say something different.

It's great for -me- or -you- (who are patients), to try and keep
an optimistic outlook, but damn.... I want a doctor who tells
me what's what. If I have a 26% chance of survival, great. If a
drug is going to give me a 2% better advantage of living 2.4 months
longer, great. But don't tell me that if I do "XYZ" that I stand a chance
at living forever, when it's a fact that it isn't going to add a damn thing
to my life span beyond what the statistics are.. I want a doctor to
tell me the way it is; Let -me- deal with it.

There. I said it. Did I echo your feelings?

Some of us have used an "alternative", rather than go the more
"socially acceptable" route. Amazingly, we're still around to
actually type about it. And even more astonishingly, we haven't
suffered terribly trying to stay alive.

I would be very, very cautious with the "alternative" you turn to,
if you decide to turn to one. Some are very worthwhile (and those
are the ones that usually cost the least), while some are nothing more
than placebos in gilt packaging.

I gave you some hints up above (no, not heaven), so I won't
take up space down here (no not hell)...

There are indeed, some very, very viable options. Just make absolutely
certain you want to turn to them, and that the conventional treatments
are not what you feel will work.

I'm a firm believer in trusting one's naturally provided intuition and
survival instincts, along with using one's given intellect, to decipher
the good from bad. We were all given that ability; large , small,
human and insect.... we really oughta' give it a better chance than
we have been giving it.

You'll do fine, Marty. Just get all the facts together, get the family
and yourself in order, and don't worry about the future; it'll all
fall into place just fine.

John

Martyr

John23 said:

MartyR -
MartyR -

Re:
"I have seen cancer up close and personal. I choose not to ride
an emotional roller coaster and that means being realistic."

That's absolutely the best approach! It's "nice" to have a positive
attitude, and even sincere religious conviction, but cancer is cancer,
and the best, most positive thinking, emotional giants of religious
fortitude have succumbed to this stupid disease.

However......

You need to get other qualified opinions from physicians out
of the immediate association; out of the immediate area.

I'm like you are Marty; I'm a realist. I'm not going to go beat my
head against a rock trying to locate a physician that's going to
tell me that I'm going to live, if it's a pretty damned sure shot that
I'm going to die.

I find it interesting to read at this forum, that when an oncologist
tells someone the truth, readers get mad; they tell the individual to
keep looking for an oncologist that will say something different.

It's great for -me- or -you- (who are patients), to try and keep
an optimistic outlook, but damn.... I want a doctor who tells
me what's what. If I have a 26% chance of survival, great. If a
drug is going to give me a 2% better advantage of living 2.4 months
longer, great. But don't tell me that if I do "XYZ" that I stand a chance
at living forever, when it's a fact that it isn't going to add a damn thing
to my life span beyond what the statistics are.. I want a doctor to
tell me the way it is; Let -me- deal with it.

There. I said it. Did I echo your feelings?

Some of us have used an "alternative", rather than go the more
"socially acceptable" route. Amazingly, we're still around to
actually type about it. And even more astonishingly, we haven't
suffered terribly trying to stay alive.

I would be very, very cautious with the "alternative" you turn to,
if you decide to turn to one. Some are very worthwhile (and those
are the ones that usually cost the least), while some are nothing more
than placebos in gilt packaging.

I gave you some hints up above (no, not heaven), so I won't
take up space down here (no not hell)...

There are indeed, some very, very viable options. Just make absolutely
certain you want to turn to them, and that the conventional treatments
are not what you feel will work.

I'm a firm believer in trusting one's naturally provided intuition and
survival instincts, along with using one's given intellect, to decipher
the good from bad. We were all given that ability; large , small,
human and insect.... we really oughta' give it a better chance than
we have been giving it.

You'll do fine, Marty. Just get all the facts together, get the family
and yourself in order, and don't worry about the future; it'll all
fall into place just fine.

John

Thanks John. You have pretty
Thanks John. You have pretty well summed it all up. Unfortunately in this situation we aren't given second chances. I need to find a solution to malignant ascites that is do-able. Seems like certain procedures aren't going to be options due to the extent of the cancer. Nothing seems to be resectable so I feel like I'm just getting nowhere. My fiance and I moved up our wedding date to the end of January...now we are thinking of just seeing a justice of the peace to get married ASAP.

John23

Martyr said:

Thanks John. You have pretty
Thanks John. You have pretty well summed it all up. Unfortunately in this situation we aren't given second chances. I need to find a solution to malignant ascites that is do-able. Seems like certain procedures aren't going to be options due to the extent of the cancer. Nothing seems to be resectable so I feel like I'm just getting nowhere. My fiance and I moved up our wedding date to the end of January...now we are thinking of just seeing a justice of the peace to get married ASAP.

Hi Marty -

Re:
"Unfortunately in this situation we aren't given second chances.
I need to find a solution to malignant ascites that is do-able."

The truth is Marty, that it -isn't- that we "don't get second chances",
but that we never know when, or if, we will.

You really should accept that concept, rather than feel it's "do or die".

There's a ton of info with a simple "google", all of which can baffle
even the most intellectual, but there are as many positive outlooks
as there are unfavorable ones.

Treatments vary, and it's going to take some work to locate what you
need specifically. I personally would avoid radiation, since it's so
difficult to pin-point the beam, especially when what it's being aimed
at isn't a single object. But there are new procedures thanks to
the development of electronic technology, much of which we
aren't aware of unless we look for it.

You had asked about "alternative treatments", and to that, I had
attempted to respond to...

A "Google" for an alternative can help: try here

I found this interesting as well: Treatment of malignant ascites
There is some heavy reading involved, but it helps prove that
nothing is without help, when one searches for it.

This nation is far behind others, in the methods and practices used
to treat debilitating diseases. There seems to be a greed-driven cult,
that survives on the most needy that have money.

If you can afford to travel, it might be another viable answer, but there
are many centers here in this Nation, that take part in research from
other nations.

The point is, that there is no reason to feel that you've lost the game.

Not yet; perhaps not ever.

And we never know, when that second chance is there, staring at us.

Get married Marty. And prepare for a long, long marriage.

John

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