My first day of radiation

kingcole42005

My first day of radiation starts today at 2:00. I am so terrified of being strapped down. I know it is for only a short time and I don't understand why I'm so scared. I'm trying so hard not to cry because I don't want my nose to be stuffed up, I have to wear a mouth piece. I want to get this done and over with and put cancer behind me, but 33 treatments just seem like such a long time. I know I will get through it and beat this stupid cancer. I'm just feeling so alone. I know you have all gone through what I am right at this very second, you all know exactly how I'm feeling. It does really help to be able to reach out to wonderful people like you and express my feelings without fear of being judged. So thank you to all of you for all the advice and warm wishes. I am so, so grateful to have found this site.

luv4lacrosse

RADIATION TIPS
Hello and sorry you find yourself here, but this is a tremendous source of support and resources. I assume you have been fitted for the mask and will be secured to the table?? I did not have to use a mouth piece.

I had my Doc give me Attivan to help calm me down prior to the treatment. I only used it for about 1/4 of my 30 treatments as I found ways to "psych myself out" during the treatment. Start with having them play music that you enjoy listening to. I also counted the revolutions of the IMRT Machine, which for me was about 30 rotations from start to finish. Once I hit the 25 mark, I knew I was home free.

You can do this, I was scared also, but others in this group who went before me gave me all of the help I needed.

Mike

Noellesmom

help for you
Have you thought about asking for something to help you stay calm - maybe a small dose of Valium or something like that?

You will get through this - I know you will.

kingcole42005

Noellesmom said:

help for you
Have you thought about asking for something to help you stay calm - maybe a small dose of Valium or something like that?

You will get through this - I know you will.

Yes I do have valium and my husband is taking me
Yes I do have valium and my husband is taking me. I was going to ask for music, like some nice classical to calm my nerves or Enya would be better. I know I can do this, dang it! But sometimes I feel like just calling it off and not doing radiation. Just taking my chances and I know that is so stupid, but I'm that scared. Please just send positive thought my way today at 2:00 pm pacific!! LOL, sounds ridiculous but I believe in the power of positive thought. So I am going to take my own advice and just think positively!!

rozaroo

kingcole42005 said:

Yes I do have valium and my husband is taking me
Yes I do have valium and my husband is taking me. I was going to ask for music, like some nice classical to calm my nerves or Enya would be better. I know I can do this, dang it! But sometimes I feel like just calling it off and not doing radiation. Just taking my chances and I know that is so stupid, but I'm that scared. Please just send positive thought my way today at 2:00 pm pacific!! LOL, sounds ridiculous but I believe in the power of positive thought. So I am going to take my own advice and just think positively!!

Kingcole
Thinking & worrying about my first appointment really freaked me out. However, everyone there made me feel at ease. Plus I took a pill to relax me.It is the unknown that worried
me the most.Once I knew what to expect I was much better.
Hug's' & prayer's sent your way.
Roz

Skiffin16

XANAX
Worked for me, but honestly, I only need it for the first few days. I got used to the routine very quick as I'm sure you will also.

Counting the rotations, clicks and whirls, you'll soon learn when the machine is finished, LOL.

I brought my own CD in, and I knew that somewhere between the 3 - 5th song, I'd be done for the day.

Best,
John

sweetblood22

Skiffin16 said:

XANAX
Worked for me, but honestly, I only need it for the first few days. I got used to the routine very quick as I'm sure you will also.

Counting the rotations, clicks and whirls, you'll soon learn when the machine is finished, LOL.

I brought my own CD in, and I knew that somewhere between the 3 - 5th song, I'd be done for the day.

Best,
John

I was terrified the first time too.
I brought in my own CDs. For me I tried classical the first time. Dragged too much for me. I chose dance tunes. And I made them crank it so I could hear it over the clicks and grinding. To this day when I hear Rihanna's "Disturbia" I think of rads. I was out last week dancing in a club and I was dancing to it and I thought, 'this is way better than being bolted down to a table.' The only thing with the dance tunes is it was hard to sit still, but it made the time pass.

I will say a prayer for you. You can do this. you can also do yoga breathing or square breathing to help you be calmer. When I get scared or stressed i don't breathe. Being aware of your breath and regular breathing will help. I think the fear of the unknown that freaks you out. Good luck! We are thinking about you.

Glenna M

The first time..
The first time is always the scariest, once you make it through the first session it will become easier for you. I had to take an Ativan before each session (I'm claustraphobic) which helped me relax and I would lay there watching the machine as it moved from one location to the next.

Sending positive thoughts and prayers your way.

Stay well,
Glenna

ekdennie

stronger
kingcole-
Instead of giving into my fear, I tried to use it to make me stronger. I spent my time on the table thinking about how the radiation was doing a deep clean. It was working hard to kill those cancer cells. It may sound weird, but I would pretend that I could visualize where the radiation beams were going. like...this one is near my jaw, this one is near my right sinus, this one is near my septum, etc. And the one thing that worked the best for me was to remember that somewhere there is a little kid bravely sitting in the same machine, only without a parent to hold their hand, while this same type of beam is working to heal them. I would think about the little kids who have to have the same procedure. sometimes I would finish with tears in my eyes, but I made it through. My family lost my cousin's young 12 year old son to brain cancer...so I would think about him and his battle. I would think about how he would laugh at me if I freaked out...he didn't freak when he went through his treatments in the same mask, and his treatments lasted so much longer than mine did.

find what puts you in a calm place. the mouthpiece sucks, but you will be fine. you made it through the mask making...you will make it through this as well!

You will be in my prayers...please write how you did...and don't quit! you can do this I know you can! 33 treatments goes by so fast. my 30 were done and over before I even realized it.

oh, and don't forget to pee before you go in! I forgot one time and I spent my 10-20 minutes wishing I had remembered! mine took 5 min to scan me before the radiation began and then somewhere between 8-10 minutes to finish the treatment...I zoned out most of the time so I don't remember how long it took...but it went quickly on the days I didn't freak...or forget to pee!

Huge HUGS!
elizabeth

mixleader

First Rads
I can't imagine anyone not being scared with radiation coming up. I was so scared the night before my treatments started, I had a minor anxiety attack and could not sleep. Thankfully, my wife stayed up with me to soothe me. I had to take an Ativan each time to help with the claustrophobia of the mask and I continued those through the treatments to help me with the anxiety that I was having both during the treatments and at work. I truly hated that mask and being nailed down to the table, but I did my best to go to my 'happy place' to endure. I also kept track of the progress of the treatments by counting how many times the accelerator started up and that helped some. The treatments certainly are not easy, but you can make it through. Just keep picturing yourself as cancer-free. Hang tough.

Goalie

mixleader said:

First Rads
I can't imagine anyone not being scared with radiation coming up. I was so scared the night before my treatments started, I had a minor anxiety attack and could not sleep. Thankfully, my wife stayed up with me to soothe me. I had to take an Ativan each time to help with the claustrophobia of the mask and I continued those through the treatments to help me with the anxiety that I was having both during the treatments and at work. I truly hated that mask and being nailed down to the table, but I did my best to go to my 'happy place' to endure. I also kept track of the progress of the treatments by counting how many times the accelerator started up and that helped some. The treatments certainly are not easy, but you can make it through. Just keep picturing yourself as cancer-free. Hang tough.

First Day and Calm
I am just starting my last week of an 8 1/2 week treatment of "tanning". I was certainly scared the first time but, as people have suggested, I take control and understand it. I always look at the various heads and such moving around; I have heard that they will sometime clip out a few strands of your mask to make this easier but I can look through hazily. I like to look at the pattern of the shooting head grates as it changes from position to position. I imagine exactly this pattern going into that lymph node from the right, from above, from below (it changes for each). I am down to the concentrated part for the last weeks so I only get 6 long shots. In fact, though, I am almost always asleep when they come in to release me. Breathe deep and remember that the tanning itself is the easy part. It's everything on the outside of it that is hard. You'll make it. Doug

adventurebob

it will be ok
I'll be praying for you as will alot of others. It gets much easier. I bring in my mp3 player and connect it to the stereo system and play whatever I want as loud as I want. I also start praying as soon as I'm bolted down. It's become comfortable being uncomfortable. Like most of this bizarre journey. Be strong. You're never alone.

Bob

Hal61

fear of tanning
Hi KingCole, it's a bit after 2 pm on the west coast so you are getting your first treatment now. I'm sure you got through it. They get easier now. No one ever told me I could listen to music, so I usually kept my eyes shut and tracked the progress of the machine that moved around me, as others have said. Mine sounded like a wheezing bagpipe.

My trust in my radiation techs was key for me. I talked to them, Joe and Alycia. I had a red mini life preserver I held during treatments. I knew that if I held the piece up at any time, they would communicate and/or run down the short hall to help. I was mainly concerned about nausea. Hope you got through the first fine. It's the toughest for most of us.

best Hal

delnative

Hal61 said:

fear of tanning
Hi KingCole, it's a bit after 2 pm on the west coast so you are getting your first treatment now. I'm sure you got through it. They get easier now. No one ever told me I could listen to music, so I usually kept my eyes shut and tracked the progress of the machine that moved around me, as others have said. Mine sounded like a wheezing bagpipe.

My trust in my radiation techs was key for me. I talked to them, Joe and Alycia. I had a red mini life preserver I held during treatments. I knew that if I held the piece up at any time, they would communicate and/or run down the short hall to help. I was mainly concerned about nausea. Hope you got through the first fine. It's the toughest for most of us.

best Hal

Hi, Kingcole
Now that Day 1 should be in the rearview mirror, please let us know how it went.
I bet it wasn't as bad as you'd feared. At least I hope that's the case.

--Jim in Delaware

Kent Cass

delnative said:

Hi, Kingcole
Now that Day 1 should be in the rearview mirror, please let us know how it went.
I bet it wasn't as bad as you'd feared. At least I hope that's the case.

--Jim in Delaware

Kingcole
1/2-tab of Xanax for me did wonders. Nobody likes the skull mask times, but keep it in the Positive- the rads are gonna rid you of the C, as it did for most all of us, here. You're gonna get thru this okay.

Believe

kcass

Pam M

One Down . . .
I'm with Jim - now that the first is done, hope you come on to tell us it wasn't as bad as you feared. I didn't like it, but it wasn't as bad as I'd imagined it would be. Hope the sessions get easier for you as you go. I have one mask hint to share - it helped me to think of the mask helping me to hold still so that the machine could do a better job of zapping cancer cells. It was better than thinking of the mask pinning me to a table and holding me down so I couldn't escape. Let us know how you're doing.

Hondo

Hi Kingcole

You are never alone we are all here for you all the way to the finish line, Take care

D Lewis

Hope all went well for you today
You CAN do this. Just take it one day at a time.

I had fear of stuffy nose also. If I needed it, I would take a half dose of liquid benadryl about 1/2 hour before my treatment started. I never needed xanax or valium.

Deb

kingcole42005

D Lewis said:

Hope all went well for you today
You CAN do this. Just take it one day at a time.

I had fear of stuffy nose also. If I needed it, I would take a half dose of liquid benadryl about 1/2 hour before my treatment started. I never needed xanax or valium.

Deb

Hi All
Hi All, yes you were all right. Luckily I'd developed a rash and had to take benadryl so my nose was nice and clear. It wasn't as long as I was told either. I did experience some pain afterwards, some tightness in my mouth. Or I could just be imagining it. I took two valium, they were low dose 5mg. Tomorrow my appointment is set for 9:15 am and I don't believe I will need a valium. I did have them crank up some classical music which did help me relax. I also counted the zaps so next time I'll know how many I have to go! Great tip! You guys are amazing, 1 down 32 more to go!

Thanks!
Shelly

Scambuster

kingcole42005 said:

Hi All
Hi All, yes you were all right. Luckily I'd developed a rash and had to take benadryl so my nose was nice and clear. It wasn't as long as I was told either. I did experience some pain afterwards, some tightness in my mouth. Or I could just be imagining it. I took two valium, they were low dose 5mg. Tomorrow my appointment is set for 9:15 am and I don't believe I will need a valium. I did have them crank up some classical music which did help me relax. I also counted the zaps so next time I'll know how many I have to go! Great tip! You guys are amazing, 1 down 32 more to go!

Thanks!
Shelly

Nasal Spray
Hi Shelly,

I had 70 rounds (2 x a day). I used to get a bit congested in the nose and to relieve it, I got a good nasal decongestant spray (may need a presciption) and used is 10-15 minutes before I went in.

Also learn and practise to breath through your nose and mouth at the same time, change between the two (just nose - then mouth and back again - repeat a few times). This will keep you a little busy and also help reduce anxiety if you feel some build up of muck in your throat.

Music is good, and visualizing a Pacman munching up the cancer cells during each zapping session also is a good way to pass the time. You will be fine.

Scam

ekdennie

Scambuster said:

Nasal Spray
Hi Shelly,

I had 70 rounds (2 x a day). I used to get a bit congested in the nose and to relieve it, I got a good nasal decongestant spray (may need a presciption) and used is 10-15 minutes before I went in.

Also learn and practise to breath through your nose and mouth at the same time, change between the two (just nose - then mouth and back again - repeat a few times). This will keep you a little busy and also help reduce anxiety if you feel some build up of muck in your throat.

Music is good, and visualizing a Pacman munching up the cancer cells during each zapping session also is a good way to pass the time. You will be fine.

Scam

mouthpiece = mouth breathing hard
hey scam,
with the mouth piece in place it is much harder, if not impossible to breath through the mouth. I was fit for a new mask with one, but they couldn't reduce my side effects with it, so they decided not to use it, but during the fitting and making of the mask...I couldn't breathe through my mouth at all.