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short jokes
tommaseena
CSN Member Posts: 1,769
I dialed a number and got the following recording:
"I am not available right now, but
Thank you for caring enough to call.
I am making some changes in my life.
Please leave a message after the
Beep. If I do not return your call,
You are one of the changes."
**************************************************
Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend and kills him.
Wife says "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends!"
**************************************************
A small Boy wrote to Santa Claus," send me a brother."
Santa wrote back, "SEND ME YOUR MOTHER."
**************************************************
What is the definition of Mistress?
Someone between the Mister and Mattress.
**************************************************
Husband asks, "Do you know the meaning of WIFE??*
"Without Information Fighting Everytime"
Wife replies, "No, It means, "With Idiot For Ever" !"*
**************************************************
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?*
Stress is when wife is pregnant,*
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,*
and Panic is when both are pregnant.*
**************************************************
A woman asks man who is traveling with six children,
"Are all these kids yours?"*
The man replies, "No, I work in a condom factory and these
are customer complaints".
**************************************************
A young boy asks his Dad, "What is the difference between confident and confidential?"*
Dad says, "You are my son, I'm confident about that.
Your friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential."
**************************************************
Nominated as the best short joke this year...
A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath.
Mom" he asked, "are these my brains?"
"Not yet," she replied.
"I am not available right now, but
Thank you for caring enough to call.
I am making some changes in my life.
Please leave a message after the
Beep. If I do not return your call,
You are one of the changes."
**************************************************
Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend and kills him.
Wife says "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends!"
**************************************************
A small Boy wrote to Santa Claus," send me a brother."
Santa wrote back, "SEND ME YOUR MOTHER."
**************************************************
What is the definition of Mistress?
Someone between the Mister and Mattress.
**************************************************
Husband asks, "Do you know the meaning of WIFE??*
"Without Information Fighting Everytime"
Wife replies, "No, It means, "With Idiot For Ever" !"*
**************************************************
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?*
Stress is when wife is pregnant,*
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,*
and Panic is when both are pregnant.*
**************************************************
A woman asks man who is traveling with six children,
"Are all these kids yours?"*
The man replies, "No, I work in a condom factory and these
are customer complaints".
**************************************************
A young boy asks his Dad, "What is the difference between confident and confidential?"*
Dad says, "You are my son, I'm confident about that.
Your friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential."
**************************************************
Nominated as the best short joke this year...
A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath.
Mom" he asked, "are these my brains?"
"Not yet," she replied.
Comments
-
ha ha
When a friend sent these too me I went in pain from laughing because I have broken ribs on the right side from coughing from bronchitis but it was worth the laugh at the time.
Nothing keeps me down as Chen knows--I'm the energizer bunny--I keep going no matter what.
Maybe this weekend I will do some what less and maybe sleep in until at least 6 am but that is hard to do when your body wants to wake up at 5 am.
Sorry I haven't been on here more.--I have been so busy with Jake and I LOVE working from home. I only work my work hours and no more. -
Since I am 5 feet tall, Itommaseena said:ha ha
When a friend sent these too me I went in pain from laughing because I have broken ribs on the right side from coughing from bronchitis but it was worth the laugh at the time.
Nothing keeps me down as Chen knows--I'm the energizer bunny--I keep going no matter what.
Maybe this weekend I will do some what less and maybe sleep in until at least 6 am but that is hard to do when your body wants to wake up at 5 am.
Sorry I haven't been on here more.--I have been so busy with Jake and I LOVE working from home. I only work my work hours and no more.
Since I am 5 feet tall, I assumed that these jokes would take a different tack. But were they funny?!?!?!!! Margo, you rock! xoxoxoxoxo Lynn -
even with a mild cold and sore throat .. I still gotlynn1950 said:Since I am 5 feet tall, I
Since I am 5 feet tall, I assumed that these jokes would take a different tack. But were they funny?!?!?!!! Margo, you rock! xoxoxoxoxo Lynn
them! LOL .. Chemo Brain ensues!
Thanks once again for making my day .. Hoping you feel better broken ribs and all, Miss Margo!
Happy Thanksgiving to you and Jake.
Vicki Sam -
Those are just way to funnyVickiSam said:even with a mild cold and sore throat .. I still got
them! LOL .. Chemo Brain ensues!
Thanks once again for making my day .. Hoping you feel better broken ribs and all, Miss Margo!
Happy Thanksgiving to you and Jake.
Vicki Sam
Those are just way to funny -
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