Would you do it again?
Are there any of you that have thought, just maybe after all you have had to go through that you may not have done it had you known? Would it be so wrong to take the time you have left to put your affairs in order and plan your final days the way you want them?
I'm not trying to be morbib but I sincerely would like to hear from those that wish they had it to do over again.
My Best To All Of You
Chef Rox
Comments
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I don't think this is
I don't think this is morbid. I think when we don't know our diagnosis that these thoughts must cross our minds. Age probably has something to do with it. I do remember when I was first told I had endometrial cancer 11 years ago and before I knew stage, grade, treatment options thinking what I would do if it was untreatable. But at the same time I knew that I was going to do everything I could to beat it. It's been 11 years for that cancer, 9 years for bladder, 2 for breast and I am still here and NED with all of them. I have had a couple of skin cancers in between as well. I also have an increased risk for colon, and some other cancers but I will deal with that if they should pop up and that means fighting them as well. This is a very personal choice and each person must decide what is best for them. When my mom was diagnosed with her cancer it had spread to bones, brain, liver, and it was literally growing bigger each day. It was CUP (cancer with unknown primary). She was diagnosed in mid December and we were told that she could do brain rads but it would most likely have little results. She had just turned 82 and the symptom that lead to the diagnosis was a loss of vision. She said that she was not going to do treatments and that a good Indian knew when it was time to sit by the road. It was not an easy decision but for her it was the right one. We brought her home a few days after Christmas and hospice helped us to get her settled in. I moved over to help my sister care for her and she went downhill very quickly. Even if she had decided on treatment it would not have started soon enough as she passed away on January 13th. She was surrounded by her family and in her own home and it was peaceful and the way she wanted. If I was faced with her diagnosis and I was her age I would make the same decision. But my cancers had and have a relatively good prognosis so I fight them with my whole being. I would say to you, try not to stress or over analyse. See where you are in your diagnosis before you make a decision of this magnitude. My opinion is also that you are not playing God by treating this anymore than you are playing God when you get a broken bone treated or take medicine for diabetes or all the multitude of other ailments we have throughout our lives. Treatments are tools for curing disease and I don't think God would consider your using them to be a usurping of his power.
So Chef, take a big breath and wait until your nerves settle before you make this life decision. I will keep you in my prayers.
Stef0 -
In a heart beat!
I always planned on living into my late 90's (I'm 64 now) - still do - one Grandmother lived to 98 (her younger sister to over 100) and 3 G-Grandmothers into their late 90's. My Mother only lived to 58 BUT she was aneroxic, years before Drs really had a clue.
My Heavenly Father put me here to experience life as was/is appropriate for me to return to my Heavenly Family. He gave my Doctors the knowledge and ability to treat me. Would I 'play God' and not use the what He has given them - NO WAY! I will fight for every day I have here.
Would I 'go through' what I've 'been through' so far again - NO QUESTION about it - in a heart beat and more if need be! I'm IBC so not the 'greatest' prognosis for years but I'm over a year out of DX and surgery and doing great!
I do believe that our personal beliefs/Faith has a lot to do with how 'we' deal with our life's journey - I'm LDS.
Susan0 -
I can relate!
I was dx'd with tnbc, very aggressive, and reoccurence would be bad, according to my onc. I'm 51, had bilat. mast., 8 rounds of horrible chemo, tram-flap recon. and "recovery", is relative. It's a crap shoot, at least it looks that way to me. I saw a woman on Oprah the other day, rather young, who had been dx'd about 7 yrs. earlier. She had refused traditional treatment and used only holistic and natural therapys. She was NOT cured, in fact she has develped bone mets, but is living with it. She looked pretty good too! Anyway, I don't think there is much point in second guessing oneself, but this is a conversation I have had with myself on a number of occassions over the past 18 months. God bless..alison0 -
I am almost certain I would have done it differently.
You have to make your own choice and 58 is not old so I hope you don't base your decision on your age. I am 55 and just celebrated (what a strange word to use in this case) the first anniversary of my diagnosis. I only had one breast removed even though I knew I wouldn't be happy being lopsided. My insurance wouldn't pay for removal of the other breast because it had no signs of cancer. I struggled with the decision to get chemo and really only did it because my daughter couldn't accept that I didn't want it. I might feel different about it later when my hair is back to normal and I don't feel so ugly but right now I wish I hadn't ever gone to the doctor about my lump. If you decide to fight the disease, do it because you want to and not because someone else wants you to. If you decide not to fight it, I hope you don't regret that decision later on. I'm so sorry you have been thrown onto this roller coaster ride but you are not alone.
Hugs!
Jamie0 -
i most certainly would do itjamiegww said:I am almost certain I would have done it differently.
You have to make your own choice and 58 is not old so I hope you don't base your decision on your age. I am 55 and just celebrated (what a strange word to use in this case) the first anniversary of my diagnosis. I only had one breast removed even though I knew I wouldn't be happy being lopsided. My insurance wouldn't pay for removal of the other breast because it had no signs of cancer. I struggled with the decision to get chemo and really only did it because my daughter couldn't accept that I didn't want it. I might feel different about it later when my hair is back to normal and I don't feel so ugly but right now I wish I hadn't ever gone to the doctor about my lump. If you decide to fight the disease, do it because you want to and not because someone else wants you to. If you decide not to fight it, I hope you don't regret that decision later on. I'm so sorry you have been thrown onto this roller coaster ride but you are not alone.
Hugs!
Jamie
i most certainly would do it again. I never really realized how sick chemo had made me until a friend and I were talking about it one day. I spend 10 days in the hopital after the fist chemo treatment and 7 days after the second, each one was really bad and I was extremely sick. That being said I would do it all over again because it was my best chance at survial. After the second chemo treatment they readjusted my medicine to keep me out of the hospital without effecting the efficacy of the medication. I truly believe that God has given doctors the knowledge and ability to treat these diseases and they are all doing thier best to come up with other types of medicine that is less harmful to our bodies, yet still kills the cancer cells, but unil then if I had to go through the treatments I went through again i would do it all over.0 -
Yes, I would do it all overbeetle25 said:i most certainly would do it
i most certainly would do it again. I never really realized how sick chemo had made me until a friend and I were talking about it one day. I spend 10 days in the hopital after the fist chemo treatment and 7 days after the second, each one was really bad and I was extremely sick. That being said I would do it all over again because it was my best chance at survial. After the second chemo treatment they readjusted my medicine to keep me out of the hospital without effecting the efficacy of the medication. I truly believe that God has given doctors the knowledge and ability to treat these diseases and they are all doing thier best to come up with other types of medicine that is less harmful to our bodies, yet still kills the cancer cells, but unil then if I had to go through the treatments I went through again i would do it all over.
Yes, I would do it all over again, no doubts. I realize that if you did not have chemo, you would still be very very sick and just keep getting sicker.0 -
I was diagnosed at 52...less
I was diagnosed at 52...less than a year after my 27 year marriage came to an end. I went through surgery, chemotherapy,radiation and then Arimidex for 5 years...and 2 years after finishing Arimidex, I was diagnosed with a recurrance. I am taking oral meds (Tamoxifen)
I had a CAT scan on Monday and the day after tomorrow I find out when ( not if) I start my chemo again.
I am in an amazing relationship with a man who saw me through my first diagnosis, and, at age 60, married me in June!!!!!
So yes...I would, and am going to go through whatever "it"s again....
Hugs,
Chen♥0 -
Chef 58 is not old. Yes, I
Chef 58 is not old. Yes, I would do it all over again and I'll be 68 in January. I believe God has a hand in the medicines available to help heal us. There is so much we can do today to live long, full lives even with a cancer diagnosis. May God bless you and guide you as you make your decisions.0 -
Yes of coursenatly15 said:Chef 58 is not old. Yes, I
Chef 58 is not old. Yes, I would do it all over again and I'll be 68 in January. I believe God has a hand in the medicines available to help heal us. There is so much we can do today to live long, full lives even with a cancer diagnosis. May God bless you and guide you as you make your decisions.
Yes, I would do it again all of treatments, including surgery, Chemo and radiation. I probably would do it differently. I am responsible for my loved ones who could be devastated if I have chosen not to fight.0 -
Yes, I would.New Flower said:Yes of course
Yes, I would do it again all of treatments, including surgery, Chemo and radiation. I probably would do it differently. I am responsible for my loved ones who could be devastated if I have chosen not to fight.
That doesn't mean at the height of treatment I didn't think of that. But once I thought of my kids and family and how much I love them, I knew I had to do whatever it took to fight and experience life with them.
Blessings,
Sylvia0 -
Yes I would.sea60 said:Yes, I would.
That doesn't mean at the height of treatment I didn't think of that. But once I thought of my kids and family and how much I love them, I knew I had to do whatever it took to fight and experience life with them.
Blessings,
Sylvia
I'm a fighter by nature. No way would I sit back and let cancer get away with ending my life before I was ready. Ha! Nice try. If it comes back, I'll fight again until there is no fight left in me. Everyone must do what feels right to them but there is so much that we can do to continue enjoying our lives.
Many years ago, my good friend died of cancer at a time when there were very few treatments. Another friend was diagnosed at stage 4 with a very aggressive bc when she was only 35 and had young children. Treatments have come a long way since then but she lived 14 years with whatever treatments were available. She saw her children grow up and attended her daughter's wedding. Every day, month, year counts to those who love us.
BC is not yet curable but we can live longer and better with the disease than women did in the past. Who knows what the future brings but I'm in the game for the long haul.
Roseann0 -
I had ( HAD ) inflammatory
I had ( HAD ) inflammatory breast cancer the tumor was large growing fast. I was told this is the worst breast caner to have. I was scared when first told it was like being punched in the gut. then I got mad. I refuse to let cancer take my life ( Hell NO ) I want to live to be in my nineties at least. It will not control my life either. Life is what you make it. I for one will never give up and give in. Life is good I want to experience all of it. Please give this great thought and get your Dx first. Because if you don't fight it and change your mind later then it may be to late. We are all with you. I will support your decision what ever it is. But I pray you choose life. Take care Kay0 -
The trouble with some decisions is...
They are very permanent...this one is definately!
I was dx'ed at 49 with stage III rectal, 6 months later stage II breast. It was a bitter battle, I had 5 different chemo chemicals in the space of a year. 2 different areas of my body severely radiated. 3 major surgeries.
I commend you for your thoughts...I think we all face this choice...and some choose differently than I did. My life now is not without it's challenges...I lost my total bottom half of plumbing, and had to 'train' what was left, I can't use my 'special' arm for much for fear of lymphodema. BUT would I do it again? Yes, I would...I have no regrets...I live a great life (which I made for myself after treatment, because I fought so hard....).
I'm not saying what I would do at say, 80, with dimentia lurking, and my body shutting down from all the abuse...but for now, I was blessed with total remission...so I live every day LARGE!
I WILL say that once your decision is made, if it is to do nothing, then stick with it. The trouble with not treating early, is that then it gets tougher if you change your mind, and the prognosis is not nearly as good...
Hugs for your decision...whatever it is....
HUgs, Kathi0 -
Was diagnosed at 45... (Am now 52)
Following surgery (lumpectomy), my risk was 60% chance of death within 3 years. I don't know the stats if I had refused surgery; but, obviously - even much worse... After chemo & rads - risk reduced to 20% within 10 years (which is where I am today). At year 11, that 20% risk will begin to reduce by only a fraction of a percentage point annually. Still taking Arimidex. If there was something - anything! - else currently available, I'd be doing/taking it, too.
Quite honestly - refusing treatment never, ever even crossed my mind. Not for a nanosecond. When my doctor said: "You have breast cancer." My almost immediate response was: "What do I have to do to get my life back?"
Do it all again? YES! For sure, I wouldn't be sitting at my computer right now if I hadn't.
We are all different. No, I don't think you're being "morbid"... However, I do believe you need much more information about your own situation before you make any such important decisions.
Best wishes to you, and...
Kind regards, Susan0 -
hmmmm....Christmas Girl said:Was diagnosed at 45... (Am now 52)
Following surgery (lumpectomy), my risk was 60% chance of death within 3 years. I don't know the stats if I had refused surgery; but, obviously - even much worse... After chemo & rads - risk reduced to 20% within 10 years (which is where I am today). At year 11, that 20% risk will begin to reduce by only a fraction of a percentage point annually. Still taking Arimidex. If there was something - anything! - else currently available, I'd be doing/taking it, too.
Quite honestly - refusing treatment never, ever even crossed my mind. Not for a nanosecond. When my doctor said: "You have breast cancer." My almost immediate response was: "What do I have to do to get my life back?"
Do it all again? YES! For sure, I wouldn't be sitting at my computer right now if I hadn't.
We are all different. No, I don't think you're being "morbid"... However, I do believe you need much more information about your own situation before you make any such important decisions.
Best wishes to you, and...
Kind regards, Susan
I'll actually have to think about this one since it seems the chemo/radiation did not work for me....0 -
I was 42 at diagnosis. I
I was 42 at diagnosis. I never for a moment considered not doing everything possible to live. I don't know how I would have felt in my 60s or 70s. I suspect I would still want to fight the good fight.
In a way though, I don't look forward to being old and frail. I fear that almost as much as death.0
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