Putting it in perspective

kikiz
kikiz Member Posts: 94
edited March 2014 in Ovarian Cancer #1
Today, I went to my favorite restaurant to get my favorite Prime Rib Sandwhich to go. I noticed a cup asking for donations because of the death of a co-worker. I realized that it was for the wonderful server/assistant manager who had always been so kind to me. Giving my kids an extra large helping of vegetable beef soup during my Chemo since it was one thing I could eat. Always a kind word when I came in.

She had an 11 year old daughter and husband. She went to the store to get them dinner, fell over in the store and was pronouned at the hospital. No warning, for them. No time to prepare.

If asked a year and a half ago, I would have said that she would be here long after me. I did not know her outside of her job but she was still an important person in my life.

I guess I am writing this because sometimes, I feel so d*@m mad at my situation for my kids and myself. Sometimes, I sit and feel sorry for myself.

Today though, I feel bad for someone else's child and husband. Someone who had no time to prepare. Today, I realized that maybe, just maybe, I needed a different perspective.

Lori

Comments

  • MK_4Dani
    MK_4Dani Member Posts: 314
    #2
    Good Message Lori
    Thanks it is a good message for me. I get to feeling why me, why this...this will be a great message to remember.
    Mary
  • srwruns
    srwruns Member Posts: 343
    #3
    This is very moving ... a
    This is very moving ... a powerful sentiment.
  • Tina Brown
    Tina Brown Member Posts: 1,036 Member
    #4
    srwruns said:

    This is very moving ... a
    This is very moving ... a powerful sentiment.

    Sometimes it takes a shock
    Sometimes it takes a shock like that to make us realise that no one is immune to death. I watched my mum die slowly from bowel and liver cancer, whereas my mother in law died suddenly. Both are hard and I can not say which scenario is the easiest for the relatives to cope with. At least when you have a long illness and are relatively well most of the time we can make plans and others can be a little prepared.
    Tina x
  • Mwee
    Mwee Member Posts: 1,338
    #5
    Shock therapy
    This week my daughter-in-laws's cousin, who was a captain in the army was killed in Afganistan. They had attended his wedding less that six weeks ago. I don't mean to be a downer, but it put my daily struggles with chemo, CA-125 counts into a different perspective.
    Don't want to know what I would do without ALL of you!
    Maria
  • joan60
    joan60 Member Posts: 89
    #6
    Agree
    I totally agree, I fall into the whys then I read about or hear about a family that has a disaster with no warning to prepare for whys, so I get out of the whys and try to stay positive...


    Joan
  • srwruns
    srwruns Member Posts: 343
    #7
    Mwee said:

    Shock therapy
    This week my daughter-in-laws's cousin, who was a captain in the army was killed in Afganistan. They had attended his wedding less that six weeks ago. I don't mean to be a downer, but it put my daily struggles with chemo, CA-125 counts into a different perspective.
    Don't want to know what I would do without ALL of you!
    Maria

    Very disheartening. I would
    Very disheartening. I would have to say that my cancer DX has opened up a window of opportunity for me to check in with family members that live very far away knowing that while my prognosis is good; still, some of them are elderly and coming face to face with mortality has been my "shock" therapy to make connections. I have never been able to come to grips with the fact that my Dad is 87 and I will lose him some day. He lives 3000 miles away and as soon as I was able I got on a plane to go visit him (just south of Buffalo). The instaneous loss of someone (which many of us have experienced) leaves that forever void of "if only I had had a little more time..." At least, for me the cancer DX has told me: "the time is now". I am so sorry for your family member...and so young, and so much promist ahead of them.
    I am glad I found my way here too. Susan
  • clamryn
    clamryn Member Posts: 508
    #8
    Agree
    About a month ago, I lost 3 people in one week. Two of them were at the funeral home on the same night. When I was sitting there, I was thinking to myself I need to quit thinking about when and how I am going to die. All three of these people should not have died before me. With all three of them, it was a shock. I think that put it into perspective for me. I keep pushing myself trying to enjoy life. Leaving my grandchildren with some memories. So in a way, I am lucky. I know that I cannot put things off. I must do it because I might not get a second chance to read a book with them, color a picture with them, or just tell them a funny story about my childhood.

    Linda

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