so sad and upset

lillin20
lillin20 Member Posts: 8
edited March 2014 in Ovarian Cancer #1
I posted a while back about my grandma. She was diagnosed with PPC in Oct 2005. She started carbo and tax right away and lasted 3 1/2 years before her relapse. Then they did some rounds of carbo. She relapsed again 10 months later and they did 4 rounds of doxil. She relapsed again after only 2 months.
She has decided to forgo further treatments. She stopped all chemo and treatments in June and has declined VERY fast. She has been having seizures because the cancer has gone into her blood and brain now. It is the most painful thing to watch. Especially since she is SO YOUNG! My heart hurts and I am just so scared of the day when she passes.
Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/mygrandma

Comments

  • Mum2bellaandwilliam
    Mum2bellaandwilliam Member Posts: 412
    :(
    I can't even begin to imagine how difficult it must be watching you're grandma suffer in this way,
    My mum has PPC and I dread the day is comes to this, I am praying it never does and that she dies of old age!
    Thinking of you and you're Nan ((hugs)) xx
  • mopar
    mopar Member Posts: 1,972 Member
    SENDING PRAYERS & HUGS
    I read your Caring Bridge post. It was so sad, yet so touching. Your write beautifully, and so much of it is familiar to me.

    In 2004 my mother was diagnosed with colon cancer. She passed away that October 23, and fortunately she was speaking, mentally clear, and able to communicate until one day before. She has 5 grand children, and needless to say it was hard on all of them as well. But a blessing came my way about 1 1/2 weeks before she went to be with the Lord - she was talking to my Dad who had passed away in 1994 and whom she missed terribly, and her mother who had also been gone for many years. And she relayed this to me, as if they had met for a cup of coffee, or they stopped by for a long overdue visit. I knew then it wouldn't be long. But it gave me comfort to know that so many of our loved ones were welcoming her home. She was not on any medications.

    Mom spoke of the amazing green grass, the beautiful flowers, and the delicious cold water that 'Mama' had given her. Mom was extremely thirsty in those last weeks and only wanted cold water most of the time. She spoke of how Dad beckoned her to come sit on the lush grass with him. I could tell when she was listening to them, as she would look to the end of her bed, point, and nod her head. I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the time was near. And although I was by Mom's side, encouraging her to seek treatment (she was with me through my OVCA diagnosis, surgery and treatment), giving her hope, I finally realized I needed to 'give her permission' to let it all go.

    Mom was 80 years young - never sick that I can remember. Still physically active, vibrant and full of life. I never though of her as 80, because she sure didn't seem it. So, letting her go was difficult. But she was at peace with everything, and I knew the Lord was reaching forth His hand, welcoming her Home.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your sweet Grandma. May God heal your hurting heart and soon replace all the tears with joyous, fond memories.

    Monika
  • Angelasmom2
    Angelasmom2 Member Posts: 146
    mopar said:

    SENDING PRAYERS & HUGS
    I read your Caring Bridge post. It was so sad, yet so touching. Your write beautifully, and so much of it is familiar to me.

    In 2004 my mother was diagnosed with colon cancer. She passed away that October 23, and fortunately she was speaking, mentally clear, and able to communicate until one day before. She has 5 grand children, and needless to say it was hard on all of them as well. But a blessing came my way about 1 1/2 weeks before she went to be with the Lord - she was talking to my Dad who had passed away in 1994 and whom she missed terribly, and her mother who had also been gone for many years. And she relayed this to me, as if they had met for a cup of coffee, or they stopped by for a long overdue visit. I knew then it wouldn't be long. But it gave me comfort to know that so many of our loved ones were welcoming her home. She was not on any medications.

    Mom spoke of the amazing green grass, the beautiful flowers, and the delicious cold water that 'Mama' had given her. Mom was extremely thirsty in those last weeks and only wanted cold water most of the time. She spoke of how Dad beckoned her to come sit on the lush grass with him. I could tell when she was listening to them, as she would look to the end of her bed, point, and nod her head. I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the time was near. And although I was by Mom's side, encouraging her to seek treatment (she was with me through my OVCA diagnosis, surgery and treatment), giving her hope, I finally realized I needed to 'give her permission' to let it all go.

    Mom was 80 years young - never sick that I can remember. Still physically active, vibrant and full of life. I never though of her as 80, because she sure didn't seem it. So, letting her go was difficult. But she was at peace with everything, and I knew the Lord was reaching forth His hand, welcoming her Home.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your sweet Grandma. May God heal your hurting heart and soon replace all the tears with joyous, fond memories.

    Monika

    Caring Bridge
    So Beautiful.
  • msfanciful
    msfanciful Member Posts: 559
    I am praying for you and
    I am praying for you and your family that you
    can stay strong through this very trying time in your grandmother's life.

    Sincerely,


    Sharon
  • lillin20
    lillin20 Member Posts: 8

    I am praying for you and
    I am praying for you and your family that you
    can stay strong through this very trying time in your grandmother's life.

    Sincerely,


    Sharon

    update
    Just wanted to update again....
    My grandma is still with us. Although her kidney's have shut down in the last couple of days. She is basically having no urine output and what DOES come out in the cath bag is very dark brown (like coffee). They told us this is a sign that things are shutting down. She was up and able to talk on Thanksgiving day but basically has slept since then.
    Thanks for your continued prayers and thoughts.