I am feeling much better today

Tina Brown

First of all I just want to say a very BIG thank-you to all of my "teal ladies" (that's what I call you when I tell my friends at home about the marvelous support I get from these boards) You don't know how your responses has helped me these last few days. You are all such kind and caring people and I so wish I lived in the US as I would travel to visit you all.

Anyway, I am so much calmer today. It is a weird kind of relief to go back on chemo. I know for sure that the cancer can not grow whilst I am on chemo so that will stop my anxiety. I guess the CT scan was not precise enough to identify the activity of my cancer and I will ask about a PET scan. Not that it really makes a difference to the treatment - I am the sort of person who NEEDS TO KNOW what is going on inside of my own body. I NEED to understand why the numbers have rocketed up so quickly. I do believe I remember my oncologist saying the words "aggressive" which is not good.But hey-ho, it is happening and being in active treatment is the only option.

So I am quite calm as I said earlier and planning to tackle this heads on. Chemo will not control my life like it did the first time. I will carry on working, running, swimming, even trying to shed a few pounds as I am now 12 stone (and as I am only 5'2" I am very heavy and most uncomfortable with my sticky out tummy)

Lots and lots of hugs and kisses to all of you lovely lovely ladies out there. I feel I know you all so well. I just love these boards as it connects us to people from all over the world who we wouldn't otherwise have ever met.

Love Tina xx

nancy591

damper
Not to damper your brighter mood but cancer CAN grow while you are on chemo if the chemo doesn't work. I've been on chemo since January and had progression while on chemo. Chemo can slow the growth of cancer down. Doxil and Gemzar were both easy for me to take. I think the 2nd line chemo drugs are much easier on the body. My quality of life is minimally impaired.

I am happy you are feeling better. It takes a while to sink in. Don't be suprised if your emotions go back and forth. The day before I restarted chemo I cried and cried. I too was the type of person who 'needed to know'. Now...well... it is nicer and eaiser to keep your head in the sand for awhile. I know I am passed the 'fixable' stage and chemo will be a part of my life from here on out. It really does suck.

Hang in there!!

Mwee

We're here for you
I'm glad you're feeling better. You are going into this with more knowledge and you'll face it head on! I've got this chemo thingy down pat now, not like the first time when it was, as you said, controling my life. I know how to prepare and I make the most of the good days. We'll be right there with you!
(((HUGS))) Maria

clamryn

Come out swinging
Hi Tina, So glad to hear that you are calmer. I think we all just have to take a step back and look at our situation and then we grab every ounce of fight we have in us and we come out swinging with both barrels.

Tina, I have this picture in my mind of you putting on your armour and beating the crap out of the beast. GO TEAL.

Sending you lots of hugs,
Linda

Cafewoman53

Glad you are feeling better
So glad you are feeling better. It is a good thing that this is a womans disease, men would not be capable of supporting each other like we do here. There are things I can not share with my family, they think if you talk about recurrence you are being gloom and doom, but it is pretty much a reality for most of us. It is just part of our fight and I plan to put everything I can into beating this monster.
There will be a cure someday and no one can tell us we aren't going to be a part of it.
I had to look up what 12 stone was as I am 5'2" also and I lost 30 pds after my surgery and I am about your weight now but I feel small compared to what I was . I would like to lose more but I am usually hungry all the time. I think it is from the chemo I hope it is because I would like to lose more.
Will you keep your hair with the new chemo ? You look good in your pic I can't wait to be able to put up a pic with hair !

Tina Brown

Cafewoman53 said:

Glad you are feeling better
So glad you are feeling better. It is a good thing that this is a womans disease, men would not be capable of supporting each other like we do here. There are things I can not share with my family, they think if you talk about recurrence you are being gloom and doom, but it is pretty much a reality for most of us. It is just part of our fight and I plan to put everything I can into beating this monster.
There will be a cure someday and no one can tell us we aren't going to be a part of it.
I had to look up what 12 stone was as I am 5'2" also and I lost 30 pds after my surgery and I am about your weight now but I feel small compared to what I was . I would like to lose more but I am usually hungry all the time. I think it is from the chemo I hope it is because I would like to lose more.
Will you keep your hair with the new chemo ? You look good in your pic I can't wait to be able to put up a pic with hair !

Hello my teal ladies
Many thanks again to all replies. My new chemo that is called Caelyx here in the UK is called Doxil in the US. I've been told I shouldn't lose my hair (big smile) as it has reached a length now that I can style. Chemo & the steriods do cause you to gain weight so I am hoping I won't put on anymore..

I am not an angry person but yes, I feel angry that this beast is on the rise and I want to thump it and kick it and stamp on it and crush it to death. Now that feels better.

Tina xx