Needing everyones thoughts
Going to have the left taken off this Thurs. I had felt a lump? in the armpit. I had a chest tube inserted with the first mast cause of port placement, so I thought maybe scar tissue from that. It was kind of close to the "lump". Have been wanting to do this for awhile. Went to surgeon and he said he didn't think it was anything and did an ultrasound and there it was. A perfect little roundish black dot. Seen that before. Set up surgery.
Now my question is two things. 1) if it's cancer again do I tell my kids? My son's coming from japan and were all getting together. He's only here for a week and few days and then he goes to Germany for 3 yrs. Don't want to bum the time he's here.
2) I still have my port ( my lucky button)He may have to remove it. It's on the same side as the new mast will be done. Where do you get chemo if needed? I love my port. He said he will try to save it. Even if I don't have a reoccurance I want to keep port. high rate for return. I will probably have 2nd question answered mon. Work with him in surgery. Course forgot to ask when I had office visit. Stupid brain cell. Yes, one cell left.
Yes, being positive, hopeful etc., but I'm a realist. Got to look at the possibility of return. Sorry this has turned to a novel. Keep on praying. Thanks Katz
Comments
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WOW... so sorry. We're in this together, girlie!
Mine is a little different but it's all still so scary. Of course everyone is going to tell you to only YOU can make this decision for yourself, but I would definitely share it with hubby and make the kids decision together. I always felt that the BEST place for it to come back would be the boob cuz of how they can get rid of it so easily. I would pug on my best "game face" and be ready for the battle and love the support I"m sure hew will give you. You need him now more than ever!0 -
Be honest!
Your Son deserves honesty - in my opinion. He can deal with 'it' better with knowledge' than being kept 'in the dark'. Hubby lost his Mother to cervical cancer at 9 (I know that your Son is a lot older) - he was not told the truth. The last time he saw his Mom was on Christmas Day afternoon when she was taken to the hospital. He was not told by his Dad that she had died - the next morning after she passed, his teacher told him that she was so sorry that he had lost his Mother - that was when he found out that he'd never see his Mom again! This has effected his entire life - we've been married 34 years and me getting IBC really knocked him for 'loop'
Yes - your Son is an adult but you are still his Mother and he deserves honesty. Our Son is 31 and he's been told everything (he's listed with all my Drs so he can call them and talk to them if he feels the need). Yes telling him was hard on both of us but it had to be done. About a month after my rad burns were healed, he moved to a new area for employment but we talk often. The other day when we were talking he told me that he so thankful that we had taught him to honest - no matter what.
Susan0 -
Sorry, please stay positiveRague said:Be honest!
Your Son deserves honesty - in my opinion. He can deal with 'it' better with knowledge' than being kept 'in the dark'. Hubby lost his Mother to cervical cancer at 9 (I know that your Son is a lot older) - he was not told the truth. The last time he saw his Mom was on Christmas Day afternoon when she was taken to the hospital. He was not told by his Dad that she had died - the next morning after she passed, his teacher told him that she was so sorry that he had lost his Mother - that was when he found out that he'd never see his Mom again! This has effected his entire life - we've been married 34 years and me getting IBC really knocked him for 'loop'
Yes - your Son is an adult but you are still his Mother and he deserves honesty. Our Son is 31 and he's been told everything (he's listed with all my Drs so he can call them and talk to them if he feels the need). Yes telling him was hard on both of us but it had to be done. About a month after my rad burns were healed, he moved to a new area for employment but we talk often. The other day when we were talking he told me that he so thankful that we had taught him to honest - no matter what.
Susan
I am sorry, however please do not make any conclusions until your pathology report. Armpit is always scary but not always has cancer. I know this from my own experience, just recently have had a swollen node on non-cancer side.
We told our son, who was 22, everything regarding my diagnosis Stage IIIC, and up to this day he is the most optimistic person in the family. I think your son deserves to know the truth. Port or other device can be place in different location, do not worry about it.
Wishing you good luck on Thursday and clean pathology report,
Hugs,
New Flower0 -
Sorry - what was "Negative"?New Flower said:Sorry, please stay positive
I am sorry, however please do not make any conclusions until your pathology report. Armpit is always scary but not always has cancer. I know this from my own experience, just recently have had a swollen node on non-cancer side.
We told our son, who was 22, everything regarding my diagnosis Stage IIIC, and up to this day he is the most optimistic person in the family. I think your son deserves to know the truth. Port or other device can be place in different location, do not worry about it.
Wishing you good luck on Thursday and clean pathology report,
Hugs,
New Flower
My point is very positive - honesty is the best policy! What did I say that was 'negative'? Other than how Hubby was treated which was cruel!
Susan0 -
Katz, I sooo sorry you haveEil4186 said:Katz, I hope you can keep
Katz, I hope you can keep your port. I am praying that this new area is not cancer. Hang in there. Many ladies on here who had positive lymphnodes and are doing well. You are in my prayers.
Katz, I sooo sorry you have to go through this again. I would tell your son, he'll be hurt if you don't. I made this mistake with my Dad (age 88). I wanted to wait until I got the results of the biopsey report. Well my brother-in-law opened his big mouth and told my Dad I was waiting for the report and it really hurt my Dad. It was a lesson learned on my part. My Dad is now the first person I tell.0 -
praying
Hi Katz, I just want you to know that I am praying for you..right now, and will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I had my bilat. mast last June 09, the had a real scare of met to the cervial verbra in July 10, turned out to be another problem. It's very painful and won't get much better, so I just have to learn to live with it. Funny I never had the problem before cancer. Anyway, I am finally, starting to be able to, just live a day, without cancer. I don't know if I'd tell my son right away, hopefully the outcome will be good, once the treatments are done. You know the treatment itself is so devastating. I have a 19 yr. old daughter, away a college (65 miles) not living at home, and she asks me anytime I mention a doc's appt. what I am going in for, like she's asking "is it back?" I will pray for you, for health, and peace as you find yourself having to make even more difficult decisions. CANCER SUCKS!! Hugs...alison0 -
So Sorry
you have to go through this again. Not sure about the port situation. I would think if they take the old one out, they could put another one in?! Something to ask your doctor.
As far as telling your kids, I think that honesty is the best policy. Though we want to try to shield them and not "bum them out", not telling them the truth is more hurtful and could come back to haunt you. Not to mention make your kids really agree with you. I firmly believe honesty is the best policy, no matter how difficult the situation is to talk about.
Sending you my prayers and positive thoughts.
Blessings,
Sally0 -
There is no right or wrong
I hate to here you are back at this crossroad.. You have to decide what decision is right for you...I speak as a child of a mother with breast and ovarian cancer. It was important to me for her to tell me everything. We never knew what tomorrow could bring. I wish you well and whatever decision you make I hope you find peace in it. I'm sending you all my positive thoughts. I wish I could send something more..
Kris0 -
Only you can make theEvoling_butterfly said:There is no right or wrong
I hate to here you are back at this crossroad.. You have to decide what decision is right for you...I speak as a child of a mother with breast and ovarian cancer. It was important to me for her to tell me everything. We never knew what tomorrow could bring. I wish you well and whatever decision you make I hope you find peace in it. I'm sending you all my positive thoughts. I wish I could send something more..
Kris
Only you can make the decision if you tell your kids or not, but, I have always felt that they have a right to know. You are their Mom and they love you and they would want to know. They could be a great support system for you.
Sending you prayers and good luck for your tests,
Megan0 -
All my fellow sisters
You're all right. Think deep down I knew the answer. Tell the children. Honesty has always been the first "law" in our house. Sometimes wish that one daughter of mine would have lied to me! Ohhh the stories that one had. There all good adults now. All working have spouses (not son) and have given me a couple of adorable grand kids. CANCER SUCKS!! It's always a thought. I can't or won't let it take the fun out of this vacation with the fam.
I will know before I leave hosp., cause of the sennital node bx. The pathologist comes to the room to tell surgeon so he can procede on if needed.
Needing all the positive thoughts and prayers you can give. I pray for you all nightly and sometimes during the day cause you pop into my mind. Tests, surgeries,all the "waitings to hear." Life is good, God is righteous. Thanks to all, Katz0 -
I saw my daughter at collegeKatz77 said:All my fellow sisters
You're all right. Think deep down I knew the answer. Tell the children. Honesty has always been the first "law" in our house. Sometimes wish that one daughter of mine would have lied to me! Ohhh the stories that one had. There all good adults now. All working have spouses (not son) and have given me a couple of adorable grand kids. CANCER SUCKS!! It's always a thought. I can't or won't let it take the fun out of this vacation with the fam.
I will know before I leave hosp., cause of the sennital node bx. The pathologist comes to the room to tell surgeon so he can procede on if needed.
Needing all the positive thoughts and prayers you can give. I pray for you all nightly and sometimes during the day cause you pop into my mind. Tests, surgeries,all the "waitings to hear." Life is good, God is righteous. Thanks to all, Katz
I saw my daughter at college this weekend. she said she would be very angry if i did not tell her if my condition changed. She wants to trust that we tell her and not try to protect her.0 -
you knowcarkris said:I saw my daughter at college
I saw my daughter at college this weekend. she said she would be very angry if i did not tell her if my condition changed. She wants to trust that we tell her and not try to protect her.
You know my thoughts and prayers are with you this week! God bless!
Marsha0 -
Mine are with you to MarshaMarsha Mulvey said:you know
You know my thoughts and prayers are with you this week! God bless!
Marsha
Mine are with you to Marsha
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I agree that you should tellsea60 said:Keeping you in thought and prayer Katz
Let us know how it goes.
Hugs,
Sylvia
I agree that you should tell your son. And I am so sorry that this is happening but I will keep the most positive thoughts for you and prayers also.
Rague, I think the be positive statement was not directed at you but that New Flower was telling Katz to be positive until she knows what she is dealing with. And that was a terrible way for your hubby to hear about his mom. I am sure that his dad thought he was shielding him but how tragic that it came out the way it did.
Stef0 -
I am with the majority ...fauxma said:I agree that you should tell
I agree that you should tell your son. And I am so sorry that this is happening but I will keep the most positive thoughts for you and prayers also.
Rague, I think the be positive statement was not directed at you but that New Flower was telling Katz to be positive until she knows what she is dealing with. And that was a terrible way for your hubby to hear about his mom. I am sure that his dad thought he was shielding him but how tragic that it came out the way it did.
Stef
Best of luck to you .. all the best this week .. Keeping in my prayers ---
Strength and Courage:-D
•☆.•*´¨`*••♥ Vicki Sam ♥••*´¨`*•.☆•0
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