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  • reeseslover1234
    reeseslover1234 Member Posts: 87
    #22
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    Tired
    Elizarose,

    You did say everything that I felt and sometimes still feel. I wish I could think of the right words to say. I think if I could it would help me to feel better. I get on here to look at what others write and I think, "OMGosh, that's just the way I feel."

    So "Thank you" for saying what I and I'm sure others feel at times.

    :):):):):):)smiles:):):):):):), and may God richly bless you,

    Reese
  • lynn1950
    lynn1950 Member Posts: 2,570
    #23
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    Thank you for expressing these feelings so beautifully
    Elizarose, what you have written resonates within me. I'm betting that most of us who come to the boards feel this way sometimes. Who among us cannot say she is tired of this beastly disease!? I am praying for better days for you, for me, and for all our sisters. xoxoxoxo Lynn
  • KayNYC
    KayNYC Member Posts: 495 Member
    #24
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    lynn1950 said:

    Thank you for expressing these feelings so beautifully
    Elizarose, what you have written resonates within me. I'm betting that most of us who come to the boards feel this way sometimes. Who among us cannot say she is tired of this beastly disease!? I am praying for better days for you, for me, and for all our sisters. xoxoxoxo Lynn

    Dear Elizarose,
    Great venting: way to go... Any of us, at sometime, have felt much like you did when you vented today. Tomorrow is another day and with it hope for a better day. A big hug and positive thoughts are coming your way.We have your back Pink sister.It certainly does suck to have BC.
    Hugs, K
  • Mariannemm
    Mariannemm Member Posts: 136
    #25
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    You...
    brought tears to my eyes! I tried to read it to my husband but I couldn't get through it! Thank you for saying what is on all our minds! Marianne
  • Lighthouse_7
    Lighthouse_7 Member Posts: 1,566 Member
    #26
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    Mariannemm said:

    You...
    brought tears to my eyes! I tried to read it to my husband but I couldn't get through it! Thank you for saying what is on all our minds! Marianne

    You are totally expressing
    You are totally expressing all of our feelings at certain times. God bless you.
    I just read this and I hope it helps. I know it did me.


    It was hard to admit in a world that admired fighters that I wanted to quit, to give up, to give in.
    I always compare it to MAL de Mer. You know, seasickness? When you're in the middle of a channel crossing to France, and the boat is heaving, and you're being sick over the side, all you want is for it to stop. You just want to die.
    But when you get to the other side, you can't believe you ever felt that way.
    You're going to get to the other side of this, and you won't believe you ever felt the way you felt tonight.

    Hugs,
    Wanda
  • 24242
    24242 Member Posts: 1,398
    #27
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    Lighthouse_7 said:

    You are totally expressing
    You are totally expressing all of our feelings at certain times. God bless you.
    I just read this and I hope it helps. I know it did me.


    It was hard to admit in a world that admired fighters that I wanted to quit, to give up, to give in.
    I always compare it to MAL de Mer. You know, seasickness? When you're in the middle of a channel crossing to France, and the boat is heaving, and you're being sick over the side, all you want is for it to stop. You just want to die.
    But when you get to the other side, you can't believe you ever felt that way.
    You're going to get to the other side of this, and you won't believe you ever felt the way you felt tonight.

    Hugs,
    Wanda

    Grateful
    This one thing venting can truly be the thing we need when often we keep so much inside. I am one who has to get it out of me to truly see it whether it be writing it out or talking it out. I have had great friendships over the years and know how important being honest is and allot of the time makes it real to us.
    I have been a talker and writer since a very young age and sometimes think that is why I am still here because it keeps it real and also enlightens others since I don't want the people I love to have to face such a harsh reality when or if it were to happen to them.
    Tara
  • ms.sunshine
    ms.sunshine Member Posts: 707 Member
    #28
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    24242 said:

    Grateful
    This one thing venting can truly be the thing we need when often we keep so much inside. I am one who has to get it out of me to truly see it whether it be writing it out or talking it out. I have had great friendships over the years and know how important being honest is and allot of the time makes it real to us.
    I have been a talker and writer since a very young age and sometimes think that is why I am still here because it keeps it real and also enlightens others since I don't want the people I love to have to face such a harsh reality when or if it were to happen to them.
    Tara

    What I'm tired of...
    Doctors. I hate looking at my calendar and seeing DR. APPT. I hate leaving the drs. and not feeling any better than before I went in, sometimes worse. And I have to give them $25 and the lady lets me know I have a balance.
    I have an appt. tomorrow and I'm dreading it.
  • pinkflutterby
    pinkflutterby Member Posts: 615 Member
    #29
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    ms.sunshine said:

    What I'm tired of...
    Doctors. I hate looking at my calendar and seeing DR. APPT. I hate leaving the drs. and not feeling any better than before I went in, sometimes worse. And I have to give them $25 and the lady lets me know I have a balance.
    I have an appt. tomorrow and I'm dreading it.

    another.............
    I'm tired of everyone freaking out when I say I'm tired, I can just be tired from normal life, right????
  • Hubby
    Hubby Member Posts: 325
    #30
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    I'm Tired Too and a Facebook Comment
    I don't even have cancer, but I'm tired of seeing Donna in pain and unhappy; tired of not having energy to do everything and be everything I need to be these days; tired of every conversation being about cancer; tired of people who act like there is something wrong with me for "not being myself";

    And as for facebook, I'm not "out" on facebook, meaning most of my facebook friends have no idea of what Donna is going through. And it's hard to post about the latest episode of some tv show or the latest baseball game... when life is not about that right now.

    So I am also tired of cancer.

    Hugs

    Bob
  • Heatherbelle
    Heatherbelle Member Posts: 1,226 Member
    #31
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    Hubby said:

    I'm Tired Too and a Facebook Comment
    I don't even have cancer, but I'm tired of seeing Donna in pain and unhappy; tired of not having energy to do everything and be everything I need to be these days; tired of every conversation being about cancer; tired of people who act like there is something wrong with me for "not being myself";

    And as for facebook, I'm not "out" on facebook, meaning most of my facebook friends have no idea of what Donna is going through. And it's hard to post about the latest episode of some tv show or the latest baseball game... when life is not about that right now.

    So I am also tired of cancer.

    Hugs

    Bob

    Hubby--
    Bob-
    Your comment really hit home with me. I had my 5th chemo this past Thursday, 1 more to go. My mother in law had both of our girls this weekend so my husband and I got to spend some alone time this weekend laying around, watching football & movies, napping on the couch. We havent been able to do that in forever -either because of my pain, or from him being at work. His whole life is either work or cancer. He's self employed, and I'm a stay at home mom, so not only does he have the stress of being our only provider, he has to take care of me also. And he does, very well. I can see the stress wearing on him, I can see the pain in his eyes, as much as he tries to hide it from me to spare me from getting sad. I dont know who i'm more relieved for that I'm almost done with chemo - him or me. It must be doubly hard on husbands/partners/caregivers - because for us patients, we have all this support, all the walks, all the websites, this cameraderie & sisterhood to help get us through. I applaud you for all that you do for Donna-im sure she feels as lucky to have you as I do to have my Tim. I stopped and really thanked him this weekend for taking care of me. I'm also sick of cancer.
    *hugs*
    Heather
  • 24242
    24242 Member Posts: 1,398
    #32
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    Heatherbelle said:

    Hubby--
    Bob-
    Your comment really hit home with me. I had my 5th chemo this past Thursday, 1 more to go. My mother in law had both of our girls this weekend so my husband and I got to spend some alone time this weekend laying around, watching football & movies, napping on the couch. We havent been able to do that in forever -either because of my pain, or from him being at work. His whole life is either work or cancer. He's self employed, and I'm a stay at home mom, so not only does he have the stress of being our only provider, he has to take care of me also. And he does, very well. I can see the stress wearing on him, I can see the pain in his eyes, as much as he tries to hide it from me to spare me from getting sad. I dont know who i'm more relieved for that I'm almost done with chemo - him or me. It must be doubly hard on husbands/partners/caregivers - because for us patients, we have all this support, all the walks, all the websites, this cameraderie & sisterhood to help get us through. I applaud you for all that you do for Donna-im sure she feels as lucky to have you as I do to have my Tim. I stopped and really thanked him this weekend for taking care of me. I'm also sick of cancer.
    *hugs*
    Heather

    It is hard
    I am sorry that you have to face so much and another step done once the chemo is finished. It is harder I think on those who love us because the fear must be great considering how much fear runs inside of us.
    The cancer survivor gets all the information and sometimes that gets lost with our partners since they are trying so hard to try and keep some normalicy in our lives as well as their own. I have always been a THANKER, thanks my son when he was small for being good when were out and thank my partner for still being here with me and being such a great partner when I was so ill. That is the least we can do for those who walk beside us and often laugh and cry with us.
    Thing of you all
    Tara
  • heartwings
    heartwings Member Posts: 3
    #33
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    I understand
    I understand how you feel. I am new to this website. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in April. My husband is self-employed and leaves all bills and other important paperwork to me. He still expects me to handle all the bills, etc... and somehow I have managed to keep things paid. My daughter and I are staying 150 miles away with my family during my surgeries and treatment. He still expects me to come home every week or two to pay bills and do the business books. I don't know how much more I can take. I am stressed to the limit, but he won't even listen to me when I tell him I am a nervous wreck. So, for my daughter's sake I try to take care of her, him and myself. I don't like the way I look without hair. But, my daughter has been my constant encouragement. When she sees me look at myself in the mirror, she hugs me and tells me she loves me. Hope you can find someone you will give you love and support. I certainly could use some more love and support myself. Hold on, be good to yourself.
  • Evoling_butterfly
    Evoling_butterfly Member Posts: 57
    #34
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    Our life
    Oh I understand and can definitely relate :(
  • Tinabug
    Tinabug Member Posts: 158
    #35
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    So true
    Well said & so true. During chemo my favorite comment was "I'm sick & tired of being sick & tired." My prayers are with you.
  • shelbyhome
    shelbyhome Member Posts: 145
    #36
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    Very well said.... I hope
    Very well said.... I hope and pray that God will give you peace,strength and walk beside you to get thru this nightmare!Hugs to you
  • lizzie17
    lizzie17 Member Posts: 548
    #37
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    wow
    my thoughts exactly.
    Hugs and prayers for u.
  • linpsu
    linpsu Member Posts: 747
    #38
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    How true
    Elizarose -
    What a beautifully written and heartfelt letter. You certainly are speaking for most of us here, as I'm sure we all feel like this at some point. Believe me, it does get better. Your Biblical quote was very inspiring as well, and it really made me stop and think about how we need to hand over our burdens to God. Thanks for the inspiration! Linda

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