got my brave waves on. . .

heidijez

and took off the dressings on my surgical site. the doctors told me i could take it off on monday, but it took me until today to do it. when i was in the hospital, on friday they disconnected me from everything and i was free! i went to the bathroom by myself and decided to clean up a little. i had a fresh gown on the back of the door and wanted to change into it. i knew eventually i would have to see what was done to me. i removed one gown but before i put the other one on, i turned to the mirror and looked. boy did i cry for about 30 minutes and then it was over. i was worried about revealing what was under the dressings, and tho it is ugly, i did not get upset or weepy about it. i do want these yucky drains gone and get on with the healing. since i know i have to have radiation, my reconstruction is off in the future.

sorry for rambling, but i just wanted to share this with someone. . .

Dot53

You are not alone dear
You are not alone dear sister.... I had the same reaction when I saw mine for the first time.. after the inital shock and breakdown I was okay... it takes some getting used to but after a while it won't hurt as much to look...

I am sure you are beautiful no matter what...

Love,
Dot

jo jo

Hi Heidi
Its definately a
Hi Heidi
Its definately a shocker to look at it for the first time! Only cuz you really dont know what to expect and cuz a visible part of your body is gone...luckly its only temperary if your getting reconstruction done.
Theres no need to apoligize we know how you feel all to well...well at least i do and its a long process but it does go by pretty fast and before you know it you will have new ones again...if your going that route!

cahjah75

Heidi
your reaction was normal. It's a reality that we don't envision. I quietly looked at my scarred naked chest with the drains. I didn't cry. I've gotten used to the new me. I now wear boxed boobs when I go out otherwise I'm concave. Right now I don't plan on reconstruction. You will emotionally adjust. Take time to heal and feel better.
{{hugs}} Char

Pinkpower

Wishing you a speedy
Wishing you a speedy recovery so you can get your new ta tas. Stay posiive and keep humor around, its proven to speed up any recovery.

Lupe

chenheart

Brave waves, indeed! You
Brave waves, indeed! You know how I love that phrase~ I may have to steal it from you! :-)

And you actually didn't ramble at all~ that is really the beauty of these boards~ we get to write and reflect and pour our hearts out, knowing that this is a Safe Place To Land. a We will be listened to and handled with love and gentleness. It is part of being one of the Kindred Spirits...we truly do understand each other.

Hugs,
Chen♥

aysemari

Honestly
you are braver than me. I didn't look for weeks after.

I saw it for the first time at my doctor's office he had a
mirror and I didn't like what I saw... Just like I knew I wouldn't

I just feel like there are things I don't need to know and
don't want to learn.

What I DID want to know is how can I getter better fast.
All my fills were double so I could get there in half the
time and get the pesky expanders out and Just focus
on really healing.

Ayse

Jean 0609

Hi Heidi,
Sometimes all you need to do is cry and get it out. Hope you are feeling better each day. When do you think your drains will come out? I know I immediately felt better when mine came out. Hugs, Jean

DebbyM

Pinkpower said:

Wishing you a speedy
Wishing you a speedy recovery so you can get your new ta tas. Stay posiive and keep humor around, its proven to speed up any recovery.

Lupe

Heidi, I also wish you a
Heidi, I also wish you a speedy recovery and hope your drains come out soon. Try to stay positive and look at the future.


Hugs, Debby