Perspective

imagineit2010

Something occurred to me a while back and with all the recent stories in the news I thought I'd share it. About six months ago I was at a bar to see some friends playing in a band. The big talk of my crowd was my recent cancer diagnosis. I had only told two of my friends but apperantly everyone in my group of fifteen or so friends had heard one way or another. No one came outright and talked about it with me at first, the common thread was " how are ya doing, how are you feeling?". Being only diagnosed a couple months earlier, I was feeling fine. My response was "I'm good, how are you doin?". The night went on pretty normal which I was glad about. A couple hours later as the beers set in one by one people would come over and inquire about the details. How am I, do my kids know, how did I find out, what do I have to do? I was pretty up front about it and some friends shared how shocked and scared they were for me. I got alot of "you'll be fine, you can beat this, take care of yourself" etc. etc.. They probably wondered why I didn't tell them and I wondered why they were so apprehensive at first to talk about it. I now believe it just scares the HECK out of people and I for one am no different.
One friend in particular gave me his good wishes and encouragement and we talked for a few minutes. Later in the night I found out that a few weeks earlier he got the news he was going BACK to Afghanistan for his third tour. He's a police officer and in the Navy reserves. I was shocked. Why didn't he say anything? Man, how he must be feeling. He just got divorced and bought a house. He has an 11 year old daughter he only gets to see on weekends and now he's going away for a year and his whole life just got turned upside down. He'll be gone when she starts middle school, probably gone for Christmas and who knows if he'll even make it back. His whole future just got sidetracked. I thought, man, we're in a similar boat. I went and talked to him a bit and found he was taking it much like I was. It's the hand we're dealt. You either play or fold. Then I got to thinking. Y'know, there is a stronger cancer than what we have to deal with. HATE is a cancer. Hate breeds WAR. Hate takes peoples lives, it ruins families and destroys futures. It changes people. It makes them less than what they were, or what they could be. Hate is the ultimate cancer. There is no treatment or preventive medicine. It can go into remission but can resurface in an instant and destroy everything in it's path. WAR comes from hate and it is very similar to treating cancer with chemotherapy and radiation. War cannot stop hate it can only temporarily beat it down with a stronger hate.
I'm just thinking aloud here because of the aniversary of 9-11 and how many lives have been changed because of it. I'm no bleeding heart liberal but cancer has made me see how useless hate is and how things have got to change. I know many people state they hate cancer but that's like saying you hate nature. You can't hate a rain storm for the flooding it causes or lightning because it burned down your house. You can't hate the wind because it knocked down a tree on your car. It's a wasted use of energy and emotion. I think cancer should be accepted for what it is, a way to die. That's all. We will all die someday and doesn't everyone wonder at some point how and when. Will we EVER be ready to die? Would any of you rather be hit by a car or shot by a robber or have a heart attack? Would that be easier to accept? Do you hate cars for causing so many deaths? What about airplanes? What about war? Of course we hate war but war comes from hate so you hate hate. I can think of ALOT of ways I DO NOT want to die but surrounded by my family, at peace and accepting my mortality is not one of them. Take away the hate and cancer can appear as a gift. If you really believe what you tell someone, that they will live on in our hearts and memories, it is not so hard to let go. If we spend our time enjoying what we have and what we've had and less time hating what we lost and what was taken from us we can see the true beauty in living. Would any of you rather hear that someone beat cancer only to be killed in a car accident? Would you rather hear a friend made it through war only to be killed during a robbery? Of course not. On this weekend "Give peace a chance" and remember those lost to hate and pray for peace.
My buddy deploys on Sunday.......

AnneCan

Maybe cancer should also be thought of as a way to LIVE
Imagineit,

You made some great points + your perspective is interesting + informative. I think you are right; hate is like a cancer + if we could stop a lot of the hate in this world , just imagine what the world would look like (is there a John Lennon song in here?) You are right, cancer is a way to die + we will all die of something but right now I am trying to LIVE with cancer; it is my only choice as I am not ready to die of it. I don't know if I will ever be free of it, but I want to do everything I can to get rid of it or at least keep it under control.

I feel for you, having a friend leaving for Afghanistan for his third tour of duty. I live in Canada + we have military in Afghanistan right now as well. I cannot believe how brave these men + women are. Here it is very controversial whether we should be there or not, + it has been hard to come to terms with the loss of troops; we are not used to it; I think the last time Canada was at war prior to this was the Korean War. I hope all the sacrifices the men + women from so many countries are making will ultimately result in peace. I hope your friend has a successful tour of duty + a safe return to his country.

tootsie1

Thanks
That's a very thoughtful entry. Thank you for sharing it! I'll be praying for your friend. My nephew safely got through deployments to both Iraq and Afghanistan.

*hugs*
Gail

462lt

tootsie1 said:

Thanks
That's a very thoughtful entry. Thank you for sharing it! I'll be praying for your friend. My nephew safely got through deployments to both Iraq and Afghanistan.

*hugs*
Gail

Thanks You
Thank you very insightful!. Laura

Lifeisajourney

I agree with your thoughts
and I hate to think that having cancer made me agree with you more. I think I thought that way before cancer, but cancer sure put somethings in perspective. Wish we could cure hate, cancer, war, etc. What a world we would have, I guess that sounds a little Pollyannis. Great thoughts... Pat

pepebcn

Lifeisajourney said:

I agree with your thoughts
and I hate to think that having cancer made me agree with you more. I think I thought that way before cancer, but cancer sure put somethings in perspective. Wish we could cure hate, cancer, war, etc. What a world we would have, I guess that sounds a little Pollyannis. Great thoughts... Pat

wow difficult to explain my thoughts been a non English fluent
speaker! But......l have to recognize l hate! ,don't we hate evil?and what's evil?.....depends of each one, l have very clear what it is, don't we have to hate certain behaviors ? What about Murders, what about terrorist ,what about pedofils,what about rapists , Don't we have to Hate them, ?
Cancer?mmmm...........feel sorry l hate it, not only for me but for my wife for my family this monster is causing them so much pain that l Hate it! I must hate it! l feel is an obligation for me!.
l hate wars too we got people there(afganistan) so painful to see our people dying in hands of madness, as Anne say we are not used neither, and hundreds of our soldiers have lost there lives there!
Terrorism, what to say....do you remember Madrid attempts ? Hundreds of deads killed in the underground do you remember it?do l hate it? yes l do! l wish not but l hate!
Hugs from Spain!