worried and need some support

MomMichelle
MomMichelle Member Posts: 93
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Just got a call from the oncology office. White Blood Count is down so they are putting me on antibiotics so hopefully numbers go up for next weeks treatment. They also said I should anticipate getting Nuelasta shots from now on. I have heard so many things about aches and pains from the shot and I really am just looking to hear about everyone's experiences. I am so sad because it is yet another thing I have to do. Trying to juggle around all the appointments, the kids, and everything else is getting tiring. Bills piling up that we weren't anticipating is getting me down. Hard to save money when all MY medical bills are draining us. Also looking at myself in the mirror and can't stand the way I look with mastectomy scar, drain scar, port scars and now just waiting for my hair to fall out. I feel like I am always on the verge of tears lately. I feel so sad. Bad day. Sorry for venting, but no one really understands, except here.

Comments

  • Ritzy
    Ritzy Member Posts: 4,381 Member
    You are so right! No one
    You are so right! No one can understand unless they have been through all of the surgery and treatments for breast cancer. And, you are also right. We DO understand!

    You vent here whenever you want! I wish I could offer more support to you than just giving you a sympathetic ear and sending you prayers and hugs.

    I had a lumpectomy and radiation, so, I can't fully understand how you feel. But, hang in there MomMichelle. I always say there is a sun behind every cloudy day, and, you will see the sun again.

    I hope the antibiotics work for you and that the Nuelasta shot comes with no side effects.

    Sending a hug,


    Sue :)
  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
    Just take it one day at a
    Just take it one day at a time. I know that sounds easy, but it really does help to get though all of it. I had the Nuelasta shot the day after chemo and it wasn't too bad for me. I did experience some bone pain mainly in my legs and lower back but I was also able to control it with Extra Strength Tylenol. Also, your chemo won't have to be stopped due to low white blood counts.

    Some days are better than others, I know. What helped me get through this and still does is realizing that no matter how bad I may feel or even look, I know there are many, many people out there worse off than me. Another positive thing to remember is that there will be an end to all this for you. It takes time but maybe envisioning your dance with NED will also help to give you something to look forward to.

    Please feel free to come on here and vent because you are so right...we do get it!! Sending a hug your way and hoping you get a ray of sunshine in your day today!!
  • MomMichelle
    MomMichelle Member Posts: 93
    MyTurnNow said:

    Just take it one day at a
    Just take it one day at a time. I know that sounds easy, but it really does help to get though all of it. I had the Nuelasta shot the day after chemo and it wasn't too bad for me. I did experience some bone pain mainly in my legs and lower back but I was also able to control it with Extra Strength Tylenol. Also, your chemo won't have to be stopped due to low white blood counts.

    Some days are better than others, I know. What helped me get through this and still does is realizing that no matter how bad I may feel or even look, I know there are many, many people out there worse off than me. Another positive thing to remember is that there will be an end to all this for you. It takes time but maybe envisioning your dance with NED will also help to give you something to look forward to.

    Please feel free to come on here and vent because you are so right...we do get it!! Sending a hug your way and hoping you get a ray of sunshine in your day today!!

    Thank you so much for your
    Thank you so much for your comments. It is nice to feel like people understand and that I am not alone.
  • cahjah75
    cahjah75 Member Posts: 2,631
    Michelle
    I know it's hard )-: You vent here all you want because we do understand. I have 2 sisters who are bc survivors so I can talk with them but I get so much needed positive thoughts from all who post here. I have been getting the Neulasta shot the day after chemo. I just had my 2nd one on Wednesday. The shot did not hurt me. 3 days afterwards my body starts to ache but extra strength Tylenol has worked very well for me. It lasts about 3 days and then I'm ok. My hair fell out last week and I'm fine with it. I look silly but oh well!
    {{hugs}} Char
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    cahjah75 said:

    Michelle
    I know it's hard )-: You vent here all you want because we do understand. I have 2 sisters who are bc survivors so I can talk with them but I get so much needed positive thoughts from all who post here. I have been getting the Neulasta shot the day after chemo. I just had my 2nd one on Wednesday. The shot did not hurt me. 3 days afterwards my body starts to ache but extra strength Tylenol has worked very well for me. It lasts about 3 days and then I'm ok. My hair fell out last week and I'm fine with it. I look silly but oh well!
    {{hugs}} Char

    Michelle and Char .. Cyber hugs to you BOTH .. It does get
    better .. it takes time, I'm not going to lie. Neulasta mediciation is wonderful - some of us Warriors, do have side efforts from the shot .. please look at previous posting regarding Neulasta for infomation to help you thru this time.

    Also, please contact your local ACS, and ask if there are any organizations in your area that assist with co-payments, and medical fee's. Please also refer to previous posting.

    Strength, Courage and Love ..

    Vicki Samm
  • TraciInLA
    TraciInLA Member Posts: 1,994 Member
    Michelle,
    With everything you have on your list of Things To Stress Out About right now, I know one more appointment and one more shot is the last thing you want to deal with...but please try not to worry too much about the Neulasta.

    After reading about the experiences some women have had with Neulasta, I was T-E-R-R-I-F-I-E-D of it, seriously. So I was pleasantly surprised when it wasn't bad for me -- I was achey for a couple of days afterwards, achey like when you have the flu, but only occasionally took a couple of Advil for it.

    So please just know that some women don't have too much trouble with it. You may want to ask your doctor ahead of time about buying some over-the-counter Claritin beforehand -- some women who do react badly to the Neulasta have found that Claritin really helps.

    Traci
  • sparkle1
    sparkle1 Member Posts: 242
    Michelle, I had to take the
    Michelle, I had to take the Neulasta shot as well. I did have some aches and pains for about 3-4 days afterwards but it helped with the white blood count and it sure bet the heck out of having to take shots of the Neupogen for 3 consective days. With the neulasta shot I took Tylenol PM and slept very well at night. Good luck and have a great weekend.
    Sparkle
  • smalldoggroomer
    smalldoggroomer Member Posts: 1,184
    Hi Michelle
    I get the neulasta shot the day after chemo. I do have bone pain for about a week after. lower back and legs mostly. But it does go away in a week or so. I take Tylenol extra strength and that helps. It is better then having to stop treatment because of low blood counts. Or infection. You could also try some protein drinks or bars. I drink Ensure and that has helped me allot. The extra Vits and protein and iron. Also drink allot of water. It helps flush it out of your body so it isn't sitting in your kidneys or liver. This to will make you feel better. I drink 4 or 5 twenty ounce bottles a day. I hope this helps Take care Kay, We are here when ever you need or want anything just holler OK.
  • Jean 0609
    Jean 0609 Member Posts: 2,462
    Hang in there Mom Michelle
    Sorry you are having one of those days. I completely understand. Go ahead yell, scream, throw something, cry, ...all of the above. Good luck with the Neulasta shot. Everyone is different. I really didn't have any problems and I'll keep my fingers crossed that you don't either. Hang in there sister. Remember we are all here for you. Hugs, Jean
  • Hubby
    Hubby Member Posts: 325
    Claratin
    Donna took Claratin the day before, day of and next two days following the shot. It is supposed to help with the side affects. Don't know if it worked, but her oncologist said she could take it, and she did pretty good through the shots. She read that it helps, and the nurse said she should try it too. I made a spread sheet for her on chemo weeks of all her pills and when she needed to take them.

    Let your husband worry about the bills right now. Being on the verge of tears everyday is exactly how Donna was (is); totally normal.

    Bob
  • mariam_11_09
    mariam_11_09 Member Posts: 691 Member

    I had the neulasta shot


    I had the neulasta shot after each AC infusion. I did not have any side affects from it. I did after a while feel a throbbing bone pain which I think was from the neupogen shot (for 3 days in a row after a weekly taxol), even then it was doable. I just took ibuprofen for it and it seemed to ease it. It got worse when it was hot and after I exercised.

    I felt quite miserable on the AC, that is there were days I felt really down, didn't want to get out of bed, didn't want to take a shower or go out in public. On the Taxol I had less of that, only in the last couple of weeks and actually most of the time felt good about myself despite no hair, lot of weight gain etc.

    What I felt helped me a great deal was doing something for myself each day, whether it being cooking my favourite food (and too bad if my daughter didn't want to it, she could make herself something else) or lying on the coach watching a movie or a show even though the dishes piled up in the sink, or taking a little extra time getting dressed in the morning so I could look good, taking my time drinking my morning tea. Anything and all counted for me. Like yourself I was juggling family, work and a dozen other things, many of which I have just let slide except for the most important. Bills, I gave up on trying to save and pay the most important ones or the ones that I can, others can wait a month or two or three. Medical bills, I pay a little each month. My daughter just started a public middle school and I was shocked by how much money they expected us to shell out for various things in addition to donations to the PTA, school and school district which I just can't do. My daughter (11 years) is now riding her bike everwhere which saves me the extra trips or we negotiate what is most important.

    Hang in there, just keep putting one foot in front of the other and you will make it to the finish line. I have just completed 6 months of chemo and am now starting radiation. It has been a great lesson for our family on how to handle life. I thought of it as something I needed to do, just like brushing my teeth twice a day. I was in the clinic 5 x a week (1xfor chemo, 3x for neupogen, 1x for blood draw and onc visit).

    best wishes
  • mwallace1325
    mwallace1325 Member Posts: 806
    I'm so sorry
    I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I didn't have the neulasta shots, so I can't address that one, but as for everything else, I can totally relate. You'll be able to chip away at the bills, one by one (set up payment plans with hospitals and doctors). You can only do what you can do and certainly saving at this point in time is probably not going to happen. Try to think of the scars (I have all the ones you do, plus the lymph node scar) as badges that you've earned fighting a war, cause it is one. As far as your hair and maybe eyebrows and lashes, they'll come back. I was devasted when they all fell out, cried when I got my hair cut short, thinking I'd never be back for a hair cut again. I hated looking in the mirror. On the plus side, I didn't have to shave my legs for months and the hair is back, I got to experience curly hair for the first time and I now no longer have to color it and didn't have to let it grow out to do it.
    My hair is back, so are the lashes, brows (thank you, God) and I'm back shaving. Best of all treatment is done and just like the pain of child birth, the memory of just how crappy you felt does fade with time.
    Good luck and keep us posted on how you're doing, or if you just need to vent.

    marge
  • Kat11
    Kat11 Member Posts: 1,931 Member

    I'm so sorry
    I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I didn't have the neulasta shots, so I can't address that one, but as for everything else, I can totally relate. You'll be able to chip away at the bills, one by one (set up payment plans with hospitals and doctors). You can only do what you can do and certainly saving at this point in time is probably not going to happen. Try to think of the scars (I have all the ones you do, plus the lymph node scar) as badges that you've earned fighting a war, cause it is one. As far as your hair and maybe eyebrows and lashes, they'll come back. I was devasted when they all fell out, cried when I got my hair cut short, thinking I'd never be back for a hair cut again. I hated looking in the mirror. On the plus side, I didn't have to shave my legs for months and the hair is back, I got to experience curly hair for the first time and I now no longer have to color it and didn't have to let it grow out to do it.
    My hair is back, so are the lashes, brows (thank you, God) and I'm back shaving. Best of all treatment is done and just like the pain of child birth, the memory of just how crappy you felt does fade with time.
    Good luck and keep us posted on how you're doing, or if you just need to vent.

    marge

    So sorry your feeling so
    So sorry your feeling so bad. We all have days like that. It's really hard at the beginning of the journey. All the stuff they do to us and then we lose our hair. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. It's slow getting there, but you will get there. It's a little over a year for me since DX. My hair is back and I made it through and so will you. Vent when you need to, it's part of the treatment.
  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294
    Kat11 said:

    So sorry your feeling so
    So sorry your feeling so bad. We all have days like that. It's really hard at the beginning of the journey. All the stuff they do to us and then we lose our hair. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. It's slow getting there, but you will get there. It's a little over a year for me since DX. My hair is back and I made it through and so will you. Vent when you need to, it's part of the treatment.

    Hi Michelle
    Sorry, we all have been there. I had 6 Neulasta shots and my blood counts were always good. I have never missed my Chemo schedule because this shot was helping to boost immune system. Most insurance plans have covered it.
    Good luck
  • Heatherbelle
    Heatherbelle Member Posts: 1,226 Member
    i feel your pain michelle - sending you big big hugs
    I feel your pain Michelle - I've been going through exactly the same things as you, only medically wise -i'm just a few weeks ahead of you. I found that my mood gradually went downhill from my surgery to starting chemo , then leveled out, and once my hair started falling out i bottomed out. It's been a few weeks now and I'm pretty much used to it, and am back on the upswing again. I know how hard it is to juggle appointments, keep up with kids, try to feel good about yourself when you're feeling self-conscious physically. Don't feel sorry for venting on here, that's what we're for!!
    The neulasta, I've had one after both of my chemo treatments, and I'm scheduled for my next one next Thursday. My white counts have dipped after chemo, not alarmingly, but enough that my Dr. wants to treat it proactively to prevent them going way down. I do get pretty bad bone pain from them. Although it may be a combo of the neulasta and chemo in general, because I just feel achy all the time. It goes across my upper back/shoulders, down my arms, down my spine, across my hips & down my legs. It's the worst in the morning -i wake up so sore & in pain, after my last shot i had to get painkillers to deal with the pain, because tylenol wasn't working. They gave me vicodin, and I usually just need to take them once a day, but if i'm on my feel alot or overdoing myself, it can get really painful, especially across my back. They nurses have told me that it is common with neulasta, but that it's not quite as common for the pain to be that bad. I think it's probably because I do have 2 kids, the baby is home with me all day, she's 2, and much as I'd like it right now, she's not content to let mom just lay around on the couch all day long! Even for me, the really bad pain gets that way just 3 or 4 days out of my 2 week cycles between chemo. Heating pad, hot showers, and hot tub soaks really help out. I'm going to get a massage soon, too, one of the nurses told me that would really help me out. Your scars wil fade, your hair will grow back, and before you know it this cancer nightmare will be all over for you & this time next year you can look back & it will just be a blip on the radar :)
    *hugs*
    Heather
  • ms.sunshine
    ms.sunshine Member Posts: 707 Member
    I promise you it will get better
    After the shot I had flu like symptoms for 2-3 days then the next day woke up as if nothing had happened no pain whatsoever, it was the weirdest thing. Most the time I slept. You can get thru it.
    Please don't let the bills worry you. Set up payments, pay what you can. The doctors will not go hungry if you have to skip a payment.
    I don't know who you have to help you, but don't be apprehensive about asking for help. I like so many other women think we have to shoulder the whole load. I just couldn't do it, when I asked for help I was surprised and realized how blessed I was to have the number of people there to help.
    Yes I was extremely upset by my changing appearance. When I wasn't focused on my outward beauty is when I discovered my inward beauty. You are beautiful inside and out.
    Take care
    Jennifer
  • sal314
    sal314 Member Posts: 599 Member
    It WILL Get Better!
    So sorry your in a bad spot at the moment! But everything you're feeling and going through is quite normal. DOn't be too worried about the Nuelasta shots. Lot's of people get them to help the body recover faster. Actually, you should be happy because it means your body is reacting and responding to the chemo! Maybe a little too well! LOL.

    You are going through A LOT right know and it's ok to feel sad and cry! Let yourself go there! You will feel much better.

    As for all the scars, they will improve over time as well! Your body is having to fight through a lot right know, and healing may just take more time than you want it to.

    Lastly, don't be sorry for venting!! That's what this board is hear for silly! LOL. Just remind yourself things will turn a corner and it will and does get better. You WILL get through this and feel better about yourself in time.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you! Hang in there. This too shall pass.

    Blessings,
    Sally
  • MomMichelle
    MomMichelle Member Posts: 93
    Thank you
    Thank you all so much for the words of encouragement and support. I am hoping after this shot and hair hurdle I will be able to start dealing with everything. Hopefully there isn't aren't a lot more surprises they will throw my way. It is hard when you are feeling good to get news that you aren't doing well. Something I know we all know about. It is so nice to be able to post here and get such great responses! Thank you all again. You are wonderful. Sorry for being such a downer yesterday. I knew the breaking point was coming. Today...back to smiling and trying to fake it till I make it! :)

    Happy holiday weekend to everyone!
  • Thank you
    Thank you all so much for the words of encouragement and support. I am hoping after this shot and hair hurdle I will be able to start dealing with everything. Hopefully there isn't aren't a lot more surprises they will throw my way. It is hard when you are feeling good to get news that you aren't doing well. Something I know we all know about. It is so nice to be able to post here and get such great responses! Thank you all again. You are wonderful. Sorry for being such a downer yesterday. I knew the breaking point was coming. Today...back to smiling and trying to fake it till I make it! :)

    Happy holiday weekend to everyone!

    Neulasta
    Hmmm...I was warned by my oncologist about the pain of Neulasta. I received my shot the second day following chemotherapy so as to give the beneficial poisons (HA, I can't believe I actually called them that) a chance to have played around with my body chemistry before administering something that is intended to boost white cells. He also explained that if I had sharp chest pains it was because the Neulasta could be working it's magic in my sternum and to save the $100,000 visit to the ER. I had to have an EKG before chemo, that was scary enough, so I knew my heart was OK. After having 6 Neulasta shots, I can not say I had any truly griping pain.

    I guess I rather expected this process to be a pain in the tuchus. I was truly grateful for the heads up as to what to expect so that I felt a bit less lost.

    One thing that helped me through surgery and chemotherapy, both of which occurred before stumbling onto this site, was the sober realization that countless women have traveled this journey before me.
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member

    Neulasta
    Hmmm...I was warned by my oncologist about the pain of Neulasta. I received my shot the second day following chemotherapy so as to give the beneficial poisons (HA, I can't believe I actually called them that) a chance to have played around with my body chemistry before administering something that is intended to boost white cells. He also explained that if I had sharp chest pains it was because the Neulasta could be working it's magic in my sternum and to save the $100,000 visit to the ER. I had to have an EKG before chemo, that was scary enough, so I knew my heart was OK. After having 6 Neulasta shots, I can not say I had any truly griping pain.

    I guess I rather expected this process to be a pain in the tuchus. I was truly grateful for the heads up as to what to expect so that I felt a bit less lost.

    One thing that helped me through surgery and chemotherapy, both of which occurred before stumbling onto this site, was the sober realization that countless women have traveled this journey before me.

    I had neulasta and had pain
    I had neulasta and had pain in my shoulders and arms. I didnt need to take anything. I think the claritin is a good idea.
    sometimes it hits me in waves getting dressed, but when you feel better, you will be busy and distracted and this helps so much. You are in that awkward phase, (we need Chen she would give have a funny way of phrasing it) but this too shall pass.