I JUST NEED TO VENT
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(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•.•..•¨*RE
Comments
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Vent Away RE
I know its hard. I live alone and my Mom stayed with me almost a year when I was going through treatment. When she went home, my house was empty. Just me and the cat. Sitting and watching TV, I'd go to make a comment on something and realize she wasn't there. Whenever company comes to visit, the first few days after they leave is such a lonely time. I don't think we were meant to live alone, but sometimes we have to or have no choice. My Mom lives 140 miles away and my brothers are both well over 250 miles away. My one sister who lived in the same town as I do passed away in 2002, so I know how you are feeling about the lonely part. Ahhh - in a perfect world....................
Hugs - Pat0 -
sorry you're sad....we sorry you're sad....we made the decision this week to put our baby (she's almost 2) in daycare while my oldest daughter is in school. The chemo just wipes me out & i'm finding it hard for me to keep up with her, so for the duration of my treatment she'll be in my husband's cousin's daycare. Makes me sad,too.
But like you said, it is a good thing for them, getting out on their own, and I'm sure you'll still see them alot. I know me & my girls visit my parents almost daily, and if they go a few days without seeing them they really get to missing them too!
*hugs*
Heather0 -
Awww....Heatherbelle said: sorry you're sad....we sorry you're sad....we made the decision this week to put our baby (she's almost 2) in daycare while my oldest daughter is in school. The chemo just wipes me out & i'm finding it hard for me to keep up with her, so for the duration of my treatment she'll be in my husband's cousin's daycare. Makes me sad,too.
But like you said, it is a good thing for them, getting out on their own, and I'm sure you'll still see them alot. I know me & my girls visit my parents almost daily, and if they go a few days without seeing them they really get to missing them too!
*hugs*
Heather
I would never tell anyone to get a grip. OK, not you guys, but you don't know some of the kooks with whom I work.
I agree, I don't think we are meant to live alone. Whether it's mom, children, or grandchildren we need the connections. RE, those little guys are so blessed to have spent time with you. I would not be surprised if they didn't get special weekends at grandma's. Heather, you strive to be the best mom that you can...you have to take care of yourself first. As selfish as that might sound, as women we spend so much time putting everyone else's needs before our own. Pat, what I would not have given to have had my mother comfort me, stroke my balding head, fix me soup, or even just fuss at me while I was in treatment.
Thank you, ladies for reminding about what's important. I'll blow my nose now and get ready for work. You will all be in my thoughts as I go through my day.0 -
I know someone who didn't
I know someone who didn't live with her grand-kids but saw them a lot. Then they had to move several states away for the job. She had a real hard time with that. Now her daughter and husband have moved several times also. We live in an age where you have to follow the job sometimes. Although if you read old stories people in other times had to move also. At least now we have phones and email. I've wandered off topic. Too bad they couldn't live across the street. It will be ok.0 -
Awww, RE...
A big adjustment for all - "empty nest syndrome" for you. You will all share precious memories of these last five years. And those memories will last forever!
Kind regards, and a hug, Susan0 -
To my new friend, REMarcia527 said:I know someone who didn't
I know someone who didn't live with her grand-kids but saw them a lot. Then they had to move several states away for the job. She had a real hard time with that. Now her daughter and husband have moved several times also. We live in an age where you have to follow the job sometimes. Although if you read old stories people in other times had to move also. At least now we have phones and email. I've wandered off topic. Too bad they couldn't live across the street. It will be ok.
Oh my, as a new grandmother (two year old grandson and four month old granddaughter), both local, I GET it. I don't see them daily. But weekly, and sometimes several times in a week. The day I was diagnosed with breast cancer was cold and gray and nobody knew what to do or say. I looked out my window and here came my son and pregnant daughter-in-law with my grandson walking between them. It was all they knew to do. And it "fixed" the unfixable.
I hear you. It's a loss. And it will take time to get used to the quiet and the holes they leave behind. I'm glad they're at least nearby.
Feel your feelings. This, too, shall pass or at least eventually feel better.
xoxoxoxox
Victoria0 -
for all of us. Your grandkids will miss the connection with you too, I'm sure! But, at least they'll be close by and I'm sure that you'll see them often. My hubby & I live 45 min between my daughter and my son and their families. My daughter has 2 girls (almost 3 & 5) and my son has 2 boys (almost 5 and 7) and 1 daughter (2) and a daughter due to arrive Nov. 2. I see my daughter's girls maybe once a week but I don't see my son's kids maybe once a month???? He lives in MA and we're in CT. My mom and 2 sisters live a couple of towns away. My husband works sometimes 7 days a week so my life is pretty quite during the day. I've gotten used to it and do my own thing. I haven't worked since going on disability 3 years ago.
Heather, your 2 year old will benefit from the experience of being with other kids. She will most likely miss you as much as you miss her but for now you need to do what's best for you.
{{hugs}} Char0 -
That your daughter and
That your daughter and family lived with you for such a long time, and that you are mourning their leaving is a testament to you and them. It reminds me of the old adage
about giving our children both roots and wings~ roots to keep them grounded, but wings to fly. It seems you have done this brilliantly. Bless your heart!
I like to think that your relationship with them all will now become even BETTER! Think of how much more special your time together will be! The anticipation, the hugs, the squeals, the packed in fun! The hearing about the days adventures since you last saw each other. True, the quietness of your home will take some getting used to, but having personally met you, I have a feeling you will be filling up that time with other wondrous things and activities.
I did not have the luxury of having my grandparents nearby. We lived in Germany, they lived in New York. I only saw them every two YEARS! But let me tell you, sweet RE, I had an amazingly close relationship with them, and honestly never felt that I missed out on fun or nurturing from them. And that was before cellphone, the Internet or many modern conveniences. Think how easily and instantly you will connect with your babies!.
Sigh...life changes are so upsetting! I know you will weather this one, and yes, vent here as needed!
Love you!
Hugs,
Chen♥0 -
My heart goes out to you...
I'm a teacher so I spent the summer by myself. My kids are teenagers and got done what they needed to and were off either working or with friends. It was tough, very tough. Thank goodness for my dog. He and I spent many an afternoon curled up in bed napping.
Re ~ Loneliness is a terrible thing, especially when there is no one to share it with. A couple of suggestions to offer...go to the library and look through books so you'll have books to share with them when they come and visit. Get online and look for age appropriate crafts that you can share with them. If you feel strong enough, have a grandma-day once a week or every 2 weeks and take them to the zoo or the library or even to McDonald's playland. I know these things won't take away the loneliness, but maybe it will help ease it because you'll have something to look forward to. Also, if you read or sew, maybe you could join a club? Hope this helps!
Heather ~ You need your rest. This will allow you to do things around the house when you feel up to it. When you get tired, lay down and rest. Then, hopefully, when your children come home, you'll have some extra energy for them.
I am back to work now so I look forward to my "quiet" evenings. I come home and lay down for an hour or two.
"We need those who have been inflicted with cancer to guide us to see goodness, to touch hope, and to taste life." quote from supermanhandley.
Hang in there ladies. Hugs, prayers, and peace in your soul,
Betsy0 -
Your family!chenheart said:That your daughter and
That your daughter and family lived with you for such a long time, and that you are mourning their leaving is a testament to you and them. It reminds me of the old adage
about giving our children both roots and wings~ roots to keep them grounded, but wings to fly. It seems you have done this brilliantly. Bless your heart!
I like to think that your relationship with them all will now become even BETTER! Think of how much more special your time together will be! The anticipation, the hugs, the squeals, the packed in fun! The hearing about the days adventures since you last saw each other. True, the quietness of your home will take some getting used to, but having personally met you, I have a feeling you will be filling up that time with other wondrous things and activities.
I did not have the luxury of having my grandparents nearby. We lived in Germany, they lived in New York. I only saw them every two YEARS! But let me tell you, sweet RE, I had an amazingly close relationship with them, and honestly never felt that I missed out on fun or nurturing from them. And that was before cellphone, the Internet or many modern conveniences. Think how easily and instantly you will connect with your babies!.
Sigh...life changes are so upsetting! I know you will weather this one, and yes, vent here as needed!
Love you!
Hugs,
Chen♥
It is very understandable that you would feel down RE and even lost with the fact of your daughter, her husband, and, your grandchildren moving out after all of these years. I would be lost too. And, even though they are in the next town, that certainly isn't like them being in the next room. I get it!
I have always said that I hope everyone that is lucky enough to have grandparents cherish them. Grandparents are just plain special people! And, they can offer so much to their grandchildren that their parents can't. A different type of wisdon, a different type of love, just a different and special relationship.
I am just about crying now because it is so obvious how you treasure those little grandkids. I have always loved seeing the different pictures that you have of them in your expressions page. It is so obvious how much you love them! Your face just lights up in the pictures with them!
If worse comes to worse, tell them the rental house has bugs and that it will take weeks, maybe months to rid it of them to be ready for living in. That could buy you some more time. lol Sorry, just thought I would add a lil humor for you.
Just know RE that your loved ones may not be actually living with you in your house, but, they won't be far. And, they will always be in your heart!
Sending you huge hugs today,
Sue
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Our dear sweet, Re .. I am so sorry that you will beBetsy13 said:My heart goes out to you...
I'm a teacher so I spent the summer by myself. My kids are teenagers and got done what they needed to and were off either working or with friends. It was tough, very tough. Thank goodness for my dog. He and I spent many an afternoon curled up in bed napping.
Re ~ Loneliness is a terrible thing, especially when there is no one to share it with. A couple of suggestions to offer...go to the library and look through books so you'll have books to share with them when they come and visit. Get online and look for age appropriate crafts that you can share with them. If you feel strong enough, have a grandma-day once a week or every 2 weeks and take them to the zoo or the library or even to McDonald's playland. I know these things won't take away the loneliness, but maybe it will help ease it because you'll have something to look forward to. Also, if you read or sew, maybe you could join a club? Hope this helps!
Heather ~ You need your rest. This will allow you to do things around the house when you feel up to it. When you get tired, lay down and rest. Then, hopefully, when your children come home, you'll have some extra energy for them.
I am back to work now so I look forward to my "quiet" evenings. I come home and lay down for an hour or two.
"We need those who have been inflicted with cancer to guide us to see goodness, to touch hope, and to taste life." quote from supermanhandley.
Hang in there ladies. Hugs, prayers, and peace in your soul,
Betsy
missing those sweet adorable grandbabies of yours. Your daughter, her husband and children area part of your everyday being and life. It's hard to imagine our lives without loved ones in the next room, being with us 24hours a day. The is a new adventure or chapter in everyone's lives. It will be strange, different and who knows maybe you will discover a new undeveloped talent that you can share with your daughter and her family.
Think about all the play dates or lunch dates with grandkids at your home, sleep over .. oh the fun continues. Cookie making dates, or Barney time?
It's almost like ... okay, now what do I do with me .. or at least this is what I am feeling - I do I want to do with this next/new chapter of my life .. I do know it's time for me to spread my wings and fly .. how or when, is my next stop.
Hoping bright skies, and star filled nights ...for you, dear RE.
Vicki Sam0 -
Re,
You have every right to vent about this. This is a huge change for you and for them. There is a big difference between daily contact and occasional contact. I don't blame you at all for tearing up. Yes, it is a good thing for them to have their own place but still difficult for all of you. But I know you and you will bounce back. Focus on some of the positives. You can spoil them more, visiting you will be a special treat (JJ loves a sleepover), you can take each of them for a special day all to themselves, and well there are other perks. I know this will be hard (5 years is a long time). I lived with Denise and Kyle for 2 months when JJ was a baby and leaving was so hard so I can't fathom how hard 5 years of living together will be. Email them, write and send cute notes, call often and visit as much as you can. We are here for you. Look into some kind of activity to help fill your time. Is there a junior college near Lodi? Maybe take a class for fun. And know that the bond you created with them will never change. It's a link forged in love and that is stronger than steel and more precious than diamonds.
Stef0 -
THANK YOU ALL!
Pat, I am sorry that your Mama had to head back home, but what a blessing that she was able to be there when you needed her so much, she sounds like a gem. Hugs to you my friend, I hope I did not upset you.
Heather, your decision to put your darling little girl in daycare was done out of love for her as you are currently too exhausted to do all you would so love to do with her. She will grow and make little friends and you this will allow you to get stronger and healthier so you can do things the way you are accustom to. You are a good Mommy; it is evident in your posts.
Faith_trust you are right, we are already talking about sleep over’s and taking the boys to the movies (Ava is still too young for a movie).
Marcia as usual you made me smile, my son tried to buy the house across the street but it was there was too much red tape with the bank so he bought a different house. Yeah, my kids would live across the street if they could!
Victoria (aisling8) you hit the nail on the head, they keep me active, laughing, teaching, and guiding their little lives. I am a goof and the antic s I do to entertain them if videoed would surely become a YouTube phemon if posted. They truly light up my life! I am glad you have little ones to bring you such joy!
Char you are right, I will adjust it is just going to take a bit of time, thank you for you kind words.
Chen, my husband has something similar to me, kind of like absence makes the heart grow fonder theory. He has also suggested I stop by with homemade brownies from time to time and that we set up a regular date night for my daughter and son in-law so they can have some time for them and we can spoil the grand ones. It will be an adjustment for My Guy as well as he and the boys play computer games together every Saturday morning on the couch and then they watch the motocross races together. You are right, my grand ones know they are loved by us and I am sure they will want to come and hang with us old folks!
Ritzy you brought a smile to my face with your “bugs in the rental” idea, thank you for that. Yes they do brighten my day, perhaps now when they show up unexpectedly it will be even sweeter.
Betsy13 thank you for the great suggestion, the library is an excellent idea and I may just see about creating a “grandma day” that would be wonderful!
Vicki Sam, you too are right I have already begun to think of what I shall do with my time. First I will redo the two rooms the 5 of them occupied, t hen I am going to attempt to cup and hem a bunch of T-shirts I cannot wear because they are too long, (half paralyzed hand makes this task a challenge), I am also considering putting many of the dishes I cook to video so my children can see how to make them rather than just reading how to make them. I am also am going to attack my treadmill with a vengeance as it is much needed. So you see I am making strides to find a new normal in my soon to be quiet home.
Stef, what a good idea to have special days with each grand one I really like that and the idea of e-mailing them is a gem as well. I love to write snail mail so this has given me the idea that I can send them little notes in the mail, great idea indeed. Thank you Stef for your understanding.
Thank you all for your kind words, as usual you have all warmed my heart and made this transition a bit easier.
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╚╗╔╝║║♫═╦╦╦╔╗
╔╝╚╗♫╚╣║║║║╔╣…Ƹ̴Ӂ̴Ʒ MY BC SISTERSƸ̴Ӂ̴Ʒ….
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RE0 -
Re,RE said:THANK YOU ALL!
Pat, I am sorry that your Mama had to head back home, but what a blessing that she was able to be there when you needed her so much, she sounds like a gem. Hugs to you my friend, I hope I did not upset you.
Heather, your decision to put your darling little girl in daycare was done out of love for her as you are currently too exhausted to do all you would so love to do with her. She will grow and make little friends and you this will allow you to get stronger and healthier so you can do things the way you are accustom to. You are a good Mommy; it is evident in your posts.
Faith_trust you are right, we are already talking about sleep over’s and taking the boys to the movies (Ava is still too young for a movie).
Marcia as usual you made me smile, my son tried to buy the house across the street but it was there was too much red tape with the bank so he bought a different house. Yeah, my kids would live across the street if they could!
Victoria (aisling8) you hit the nail on the head, they keep me active, laughing, teaching, and guiding their little lives. I am a goof and the antic s I do to entertain them if videoed would surely become a YouTube phemon if posted. They truly light up my life! I am glad you have little ones to bring you such joy!
Char you are right, I will adjust it is just going to take a bit of time, thank you for you kind words.
Chen, my husband has something similar to me, kind of like absence makes the heart grow fonder theory. He has also suggested I stop by with homemade brownies from time to time and that we set up a regular date night for my daughter and son in-law so they can have some time for them and we can spoil the grand ones. It will be an adjustment for My Guy as well as he and the boys play computer games together every Saturday morning on the couch and then they watch the motocross races together. You are right, my grand ones know they are loved by us and I am sure they will want to come and hang with us old folks!
Ritzy you brought a smile to my face with your “bugs in the rental” idea, thank you for that. Yes they do brighten my day, perhaps now when they show up unexpectedly it will be even sweeter.
Betsy13 thank you for the great suggestion, the library is an excellent idea and I may just see about creating a “grandma day” that would be wonderful!
Vicki Sam, you too are right I have already begun to think of what I shall do with my time. First I will redo the two rooms the 5 of them occupied, t hen I am going to attempt to cup and hem a bunch of T-shirts I cannot wear because they are too long, (half paralyzed hand makes this task a challenge), I am also considering putting many of the dishes I cook to video so my children can see how to make them rather than just reading how to make them. I am also am going to attack my treadmill with a vengeance as it is much needed. So you see I am making strides to find a new normal in my soon to be quiet home.
Stef, what a good idea to have special days with each grand one I really like that and the idea of e-mailing them is a gem as well. I love to write snail mail so this has given me the idea that I can send them little notes in the mail, great idea indeed. Thank you Stef for your understanding.
Thank you all for your kind words, as usual you have all warmed my heart and made this transition a bit easier.
╔♫═╗╔╗ ♥ ♥
╚╗╔╝║║♫═╦╦╦╔╗
╔╝╚╗♫╚╣║║║║╔╣…Ƹ̴Ӂ̴Ʒ MY BC SISTERSƸ̴Ӂ̴Ʒ….
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RE
You are such a special lady and I have no doubt that the grands will miss you bunches as well. The special day idea came from my grandma. Each of the three of us would have a turn at a weekend with my grandma and grandpa. It was always so wonderful to be the only one with their full undivided attention. I remember being about 7 and going to Sunnyvale with her on the train. We walked to the little downtown area. It was just before Christmas and we bought ornaments for her tree and one for me to take home. Then we walked to her house and we decorated the tree and made cookies. I had the best time and still remember it like it was yesterday. These are the new memories you will make with the grands. I always enjoy your stories of the grands and know that we will have new pictures and stories coming about the adventures you are having and what you are doing with them. Life brings many changes and we do best when we find a way to work with them in a positive fashion. You do that with style and grace. Bless you my friend.
Stef
Stef0 -
Rich beyond words can say
Re... I think it is beautiful that you have such a love and devotion to your family. The five years your daughter, son-in-law and three grandchildren lived with you are a gift they will always remember. Luckily, they will not be too far from your embrace. You are a rich lady beyond any earthly possessions one can ever attain. God bless.
BL0 -
Feel free
Feel free to vent. My two oldest granddaughters live with us and when they leave after high school (they're 17 and 14) and I can't imagine how I'll miss them even though right now I'd like to kill them sometimes.
You'll get to see them often and spoil them even more, since they'll be going home with mom and dad.
marge0 -
I get itmwallace1325 said:Feel free
Feel free to vent. My two oldest granddaughters live with us and when they leave after high school (they're 17 and 14) and I can't imagine how I'll miss them even though right now I'd like to kill them sometimes.
You'll get to see them often and spoil them even more, since they'll be going home with mom and dad.
marge
My grandchildren did not live with me, but I watched them everyday from birth on. Then mom got a job working from home so I lost mine. I really missed them. Now I just make sure I see them often. They grow up to fast. My oldest grandson went into second grade this year. Time goes by to fast.0 -
Sorry that you feel sad and empty. While you will not see your grandchildren every minute they live close and you can do it every day. As they grow older you can have fun and go to different places, developing a different level of connection. You have gotten a lot of ideas and good suggestions, I cannot add anything new.Kat11 said:I get it
My grandchildren did not live with me, but I watched them everyday from birth on. Then mom got a job working from home so I lost mine. I really missed them. Now I just make sure I see them often. They grow up to fast. My oldest grandson went into second grade this year. Time goes by to fast.
Sending you a big hug,
New flower0
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