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something weird about me

snommintj
snommintj CSN Member Posts: 601
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
I rode my 4 wheeler this morning with some friends up a mountain trail. When we got to the top, some folks started leaning over the ledge looking down. They invited me to join them and I declined. I simply can't do it. I've encountered this situation dozens of times in my life. They ask if I was afraid and I told them no, they poked fun and heckled. Then I told them why I can't do it. Whenever I get to a ledge that isn't roped, fenced, or walled off, I get an uncontrollable urge to jump. In my youth I've had to be restrained. I seriously can't control it. The only way I can is by not looking over the edge. I can get as close as 3-4 feet depending on the slope. Sadly, I think I have passed this trait along to my son. On playgrounds, if he ever finds an opening that is unobstructed I have to stand there because he jumps. I don't know exactly how high the ledge has to be for me to feel the urge. I know 30-50 ft isn't a problem for me and I don't feel compelled to jump. But I know 100 starts the urge. The higher the ledge the greater the urge. It gets weirder. I love rock climbing. I can ascend a cliff look down and have absolutely zero compulsion to jump. I have no compulsion while on a rope climbing. I don't get the urge on building tops or airplanes. I do on dams, I think the urge might even be magnified when I see water.
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Comments

  • Nana b
    Nana b CSN Member Posts: 3,030 Member
    #2
    Hi
    I have a fear of heights, but I definitely do not want to jump! Could you be confusing the adrenaline with fear, and not the urge to ump?
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  • snommintj
    snommintj CSN Member Posts: 601
    #3
    Nana b said:

    Hi
    I have a fear of heights, but I definitely do not want to jump! Could you be confusing the adrenaline with fear, and not the urge to ump?

    no
    I've jumped many time from planes for fun and for work. It's not the same. It is an uncontrollable compulsion to jump.
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  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 CSN Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    #4
    Careful!
    Wow. I have no idea what this means, but you definitely need to stay away from ledges!

    *hugs*
    Gail
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