I finally had my breakdown
I started to have problems with a capped tooth. I went to my dentist, he gives me devastating news. Seems like the chemo has effected all my teeth. My nerves are dying because of no blood flow to teeth, arteries have shrunk. Also no nutrients to teeth. My teeth are decaying.My teeth were fine just 1 year ago. I started to cry, I lost it. When I got home I completely lost it. WHY WHY WHY!!!! I had just crossed the finish line,I had endured, persevered now I'm being blindsided with this.
All my life I have been a fanatic about my teeth. I had nice teeth, and a beautiful smile now I'm loosing all of them. Just one more thing cancer has stolen from me.
He sent me to an oral surgeon who confirmed what he had said. Now the concern is having to do extractions when I just finished rads 1 month ago, chemo 5 months ago. I'm not in pain so there is no big hurry. I have cried for 2 days, and I have a bad attitude. I don't want to be around anybody, don't want to talk. I just want to be left alone. Monday I go in to have 2 teeth pulled. I now have to watch my teeth come out as I become toothless.
What more do I have to give to freakin cancer
To make matters worse my husband is of no use. I call him no answer, text, leave messages. He calls me back after 2 hours. The only thing he has to say is go see what the surgeon says. He doesn't call the rest of the day. When he arrives home instead of coming in to check on me it was obvious I was upset earlier, and ask what the doctor said. He decides to ride his 4-wheeler for 1 1/2 hours before coming in and asks what's for dinner. He takes a shower, eats dinner, then says oh yeah what did the doctor tell ya. I bust out crying from his lack of concern. He then lectures me on how I need to step up and get it done, and that I'm being negative.(wth) I have gotten no emotional support from him since all this began back in Oct. and I am over him done kaput.
Thanks for listening to my rant. This bad news just did me in. My husbands behavior has hurt me severely. It will take some time for me to be Ms.Sunshine again. Take care Pink Sisters.
Jennifer
Comments
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Cancer...
I know exactly what you mean with feeling blind sided. Every time I thought I had figured it out
and had a plan of action, something new came up, yet another side effect. I was so happy thinking
I am almost done but have been lying flat now for 3 days, I am so FRUSTRATED.
So, I can understand you frustration with your teeth. But as high of a price as we pay, we get to live.
There's many things they can do now to help wit your teeth,so take on one thing at a time. Please don't
cry. That's a lot of stress on your body and it has been through a lot already. You need to heal...
Sure wish your husband would show you more support, but heck what are here for?
I am sorry if just rambled... I am exhausted but too uncomfortable to sleep.
Sending you lotsa hugs,
Ayse0 -
We are from Venus...........aysemari said:Cancer...
I know exactly what you mean with feeling blind sided. Every time I thought I had figured it out
and had a plan of action, something new came up, yet another side effect. I was so happy thinking
I am almost done but have been lying flat now for 3 days, I am so FRUSTRATED.
So, I can understand you frustration with your teeth. But as high of a price as we pay, we get to live.
There's many things they can do now to help wit your teeth,so take on one thing at a time. Please don't
cry. That's a lot of stress on your body and it has been through a lot already. You need to heal...
Sure wish your husband would show you more support, but heck what are here for?
I am sorry if just rambled... I am exhausted but too uncomfortable to sleep.
Sending you lotsa hugs,
Ayse
and men are from some place else!! They just don't get it, do they. But we do! (((Jennifer))), remember that men handle things way differently than we do, and maybe this hubby is just "macho" and won't let himself become emotional. (the hour four wheeler ride could have been his down time with tears...who knows?) You know...sorta that good guy, bad guy thing. Maybe he feels that if gets and stays tough with you, you will "snap too" and "get 'er done", no matter what the emotional cost.
So sorry about this latest battle with your oral health. Like Aysemari, it's, unfortunately, another price to be paid, but YOU ARE HERE!! Come back and rant as much as you need, and you will feel us supporting you all the way!
survives0 -
Jennifer -*hugs hugs
Jennifer -*hugs hugs hugs*
I'm so sorry. If you don't get the support you need and DESERVE at home, come here and get it from us
That really stinks about your teeth. As if you're not dealing with enough..some people said to me in the beginning "God doesn't give you more than you can handle" - or something along those lines. I replied with "well I'd sure as hell like to know just how much more he thinks I can take!" ...i know that's got to be hard on you. Especially when breast cancer takes away (usually temporarily though) the very things we associate with being womanly, our hair and our breasts. My teeth went really bad with my pregnancies & i ended up having several pulled & went a year or so before I could get any repair work done on them, I know how self conscious that can make you. Now I have a mouth full or porcelain & the only teeth on my top row that are originals are the front ones! Can they so some crowns and/or bridges for you maybe?
I feel for you sister, I truly do..wish I could give you a real hug...
*heather0 -
Oh, Jennifer, you have every right to rant and rave right now.Heatherbelle said:Jennifer -*hugs hugs
Jennifer -*hugs hugs hugs*
I'm so sorry. If you don't get the support you need and DESERVE at home, come here and get it from us
That really stinks about your teeth. As if you're not dealing with enough..some people said to me in the beginning "God doesn't give you more than you can handle" - or something along those lines. I replied with "well I'd sure as hell like to know just how much more he thinks I can take!" ...i know that's got to be hard on you. Especially when breast cancer takes away (usually temporarily though) the very things we associate with being womanly, our hair and our breasts. My teeth went really bad with my pregnancies & i ended up having several pulled & went a year or so before I could get any repair work done on them, I know how self conscious that can make you. Now I have a mouth full or porcelain & the only teeth on my top row that are originals are the front ones! Can they so some crowns and/or bridges for you maybe?
I feel for you sister, I truly do..wish I could give you a real hug...
*heather
So, so sorry you're being dealt this crappy hand today. Also, sorry for the lack of support from your husband. Just know that we're all here for you--and we all care so much.
I know you will eventually straighten up, wipe those tears and do what you have to do. You can do it--you're strong--you've already proven that.
We're all cheering you on, dear Jennifer, to find a peaceful place once again.
Good luck.
Hugs, Renee0 -
Awwh Ms Sunshine you have
Awwh Ms Sunshine you have been going thru hell. (i know ive been stocking your posts..hehe!)
Seriously thou, your journey has been very eventfull. I wont say anything about hubby cuz i havent liked him for some time...and i was always told if you dont have nothing nice to say then dont say anything at all...it doesnt always work that way but today im zippin my lip on it. I will say that you have all of us here on this board who support you and you can vent all you want cuz were listening.
I went thru something similair after i thought everything was coming to an end but it had other plans for me too.
Im like you with my teeth, i try to take care of them and i had went to my dentist to find i had lost bone density in my teeth and now have to take more drugs for that and have to have 3 teeth pulled, plus the bone desity also ment that it gave me osteoporosis and drugs for that to along with bone pain. I cant leave out all the little corks my body is going thru that the doctors cant explain or i think sometimes they just guess at what it is. Which isnt very comforting.
I think your alot stronger than i am cuz ive had a few meltdowns thru this process and ya it brings us down at the time but it always gets better in time and soon ms sunshine you will have that big smile on your face again.0 -
Sorry Jennifer
Sorry to hear about your teeth. Hopefully, the dentist will be able to fix them when you are done and I'm sure they will be fabulous! I hope you are feeling better after your meltdown. I always seem to feel better once I get it out. Hang in there and let us know how you are doing. Jean0 -
Jennifer I could've written this post myself....
My teeth too have developed some issues that need resolved as soon as I can get the radiation over with. My jaw, both upper and lower need what's called bone grafting done to them, I also have a cavity that needs filled immediately but have to wait while this chemo is still inside of me. uuuggghhh everytime I eat anything my mouth hurts, it's a **** I tell ya. If it's not one thing it's something else.
As far as the husband goes, mine is the worst, he has no business being married because he doesn't know what he's doing, he is rude, he is thoughtless, and the biggest jerk on the planet and somehow I got lucky and found him.........he's all mine. Big deal, I'd rayher go through life alone then to put up with him, every other day it's a fight about something stupid, trust me you're not alone. One week after I was diagnosed with cancer I caught him on a website where it's women seeking men, yeah, can ya believe that........ that's what he does to me, stupid and thoughtless things. Guess he was interested in finding someone else..............jerk.0 -
Jennifer
I'm so sorry about your oral issues. As far as your husband, it must be a man thing! Your story reminded me that my sister-in-law after years of chemo and rads lost her teeth. She had to get a full set of false teeth that took her quite a while to adjust to. Eventually she could talk without anyone knowing that her teeth were not originals.
I too take care of my teeth. I wore a mouthful of plastic and silver braces on my wedding day more than 35 years ago. I was 25 at the time. Last year I had Invisaligns made for my teeth as they had started to go crooked again. Invisaligns cost $5000 and I wear them every night. I would be extremely upset if something happens to my teeth because of chemo or rads. you betcha!
Continue to let us know how you're doing and you will get through this as you have everything else. Take care.
{{hugs}} Char0 -
That SUCKS!cahjah75 said:Jennifer
I'm so sorry about your oral issues. As far as your husband, it must be a man thing! Your story reminded me that my sister-in-law after years of chemo and rads lost her teeth. She had to get a full set of false teeth that took her quite a while to adjust to. Eventually she could talk without anyone knowing that her teeth were not originals.
I too take care of my teeth. I wore a mouthful of plastic and silver braces on my wedding day more than 35 years ago. I was 25 at the time. Last year I had Invisaligns made for my teeth as they had started to go crooked again. Invisaligns cost $5000 and I wear them every night. I would be extremely upset if something happens to my teeth because of chemo or rads. you betcha!
Continue to let us know how you're doing and you will get through this as you have everything else. Take care.
{{hugs}} Char
I a so sorry you have to go through this. I need to go see my dentist and now I'm worried.
However I have to tell you that I have a friend with the most beautiful teeth and one day I asked her how she keeps them so white (she's smoker) and she surprised me by saying they were false teeth! She loves them! I hope you have the same luck. But I just wish you didn't have to go through it at all after all the care you've given those pearly whites.0 -
awww I sorry mssunshine
Husbands, boyfriends, parteners, and friends can be sucky at times. Im starting to notice a trend in some of the relationships around me. They are not quite there much. At first, cards, few phone calls and now not even a phone call. Guess people don't want to hear from us chronic people. We know the issues and how our bodies feel. We know the emotional ups and downs,working, kids, whats for dinner. guess we look "normal" now cause ( took at least 15 secs to remember how to spell that)
we have hair. I'm physically drained. I to had the whats for dinner lately. Sighhh
Im sorry your hurting. I pray that it gets better for you.
Oh the teeth. I had a sorta bad tooth when cancer struck. They wouldnt allow dental treatment during chemo, perfer to wait till herceptins done. (Sept 2nd)Now like you I will probably have to have a full mouth extraction. Guess it will save on future dental costs. I know its not funny, but I am in remission and I was stage3c, HER2, and 18/20 nodes posi. Don't let cancer creep into your fighting spirit. Husbands are another story. I roll my eyes at him and say he'll never understand what it's like to fight like a woman. Sorry this is so long, but I was having the exact same thoughts as you and wanted to let you know I feel ya sister. Take care of YOURSELF. Katz0 -
Pity Party
Jennifer, I am so sorry you are going through this rough patch. I have a friend who has lung cancer that she's been battling for 6 years now, and she told me that it was okay to have a pity party as long as you don't stay too long. Sometimes I need to cry just to get it out, but then I do feel better.
As far as your husband is concerned, I sort of agree with Jo Jo. He is your mate and your partner and he's supposed to be there for you, but I really do think men don't have a clue. They don't think like us and they never will, but I can guarantee you if he had to go through what you've been through, he would think differently.
Rant all you want, that's why this is here. We know how much cancer takes from us, but we do have our lives. 8 months out from chemo and I still don't have much hair, but I'd rather be partially bald and living, than to have a head full of hair and be 6 feet under. It's still a #$%&* though. Try not to let it consume you.
I send you hugs and best wishes,
Reese0 -
I'm so sorry that you arefilimu said:oh Jennifer...
Huge {{{{HUGGG}}}} I'm so sorry to hear about your dental problems. It's just another unfair thing this damn disease is doing to you.. Don't worry about venting. That's what we're here for. You'll soon have that beautiful smile back in place, I'm sure!
I'm so sorry that you are having all of these problems. It is good that you can come here to vent. We are all here to support you. Sending you hugs!
Jan0 -
Jenniferreeseslover1234 said:Pity Party
Jennifer, I am so sorry you are going through this rough patch. I have a friend who has lung cancer that she's been battling for 6 years now, and she told me that it was okay to have a pity party as long as you don't stay too long. Sometimes I need to cry just to get it out, but then I do feel better.
As far as your husband is concerned, I sort of agree with Jo Jo. He is your mate and your partner and he's supposed to be there for you, but I really do think men don't have a clue. They don't think like us and they never will, but I can guarantee you if he had to go through what you've been through, he would think differently.
Rant all you want, that's why this is here. We know how much cancer takes from us, but we do have our lives. 8 months out from chemo and I still don't have much hair, but I'd rather be partially bald and living, than to have a head full of hair and be 6 feet under. It's still a #$%&* though. Try not to let it consume you.
I send you hugs and best wishes,
Reese
I have had dental problems as well--I had two fillings loosen and crack so I had to have two caps put on--thank god for my insurance company--they have a clause that they have to bring my body close to pre-cancer state. They paid at 100%.
Best of luck to you.
Hugs,
Margo0 -
Please don't take my sunshine away...
I want you to know, Jennifer, how much you have helped me through my "walk" with this nasty thing. I cannot tell you how many times you have uplifted me.
Now, it's my turn (I hope). I am truly sorry for what you are losing now. Yes, it is a loss. There are truly amazing things they can do these days. I know you need to grieve for this but know that something incredibly beautiful awaits you on the other side.
Vent all you want. I (we) will listen and pray and give cyber hugs. Remember, crying cleanses the soul.
Prayers and hugs,
Betsy0 -
Jennifer, I am so sorry for
Jennifer, I am so sorry for what you are going through. We are all here for you and always will be. You go ahead an vent all you want. You will have that smile back again better then ever!!! Cancer takes allot from us but cant take your will and spirit. You will over come this also. We are with you every step of the way Kay0 -
Sending you big hugs!Mama G said:That SUCKS!
I a so sorry you have to go through this. I need to go see my dentist and now I'm worried.
However I have to tell you that I have a friend with the most beautiful teeth and one day I asked her how she keeps them so white (she's smoker) and she surprised me by saying they were false teeth! She loves them! I hope you have the same luck. But I just wish you didn't have to go through it at all after all the care you've given those pearly whites.
Angie
Sending you big hugs!
Angie0
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