Missing my wonderful and courageous mother

marthasgirl34

I lost my mother on 8/15/10 after a very short bout of Peritoneal Cancer, she was officially diagnosed on 7/15/10 but had been having symptoms for about 6 months prior. She was very strong but very frightened, she actually passed from an infection she caught-her WBC was 1.1, she had no defenses to fight off whatever it is that she came down with. She had just completed her first round of chemo the week before, luckily her oncologist had called her in for blood work and noticed her potassium levels were off the chart and had her admitted to the hospital. It is so hard for me because I actually work for her oncologist (she is the best Doctor, of course I am biased :-) ), but to have to come to work and have constant reminders of this killer disease is sometimes more than I can handle. My mother was only 54 years old, she left my grandmother, myself, my 21 year old brother, my four kids-her grandkids that she loved and adored. I want to scream at the top of my lungs that this isn't fair but what good would it do? She fought a good fight and I am so relieved she is no longer suffering but I am selfish - I miss her, I want her back....

rubyslippers

((((hugs)))))
I want to give you a really big hug, Its been 29 days since I lost my mum aged 61 to ovarian/peretineal cancer. She passed away two and half weeks after diagnosis. Im sorry to say but every day its getting worse, I miss my mum soooo much, I miss her smell, talking to her, cuddling her and holding her hand. I too want to scream and tell him he has made a mistake but if he gives her back to me I will let him off for making this mistake. I want to know that she did not suffer, and that she was not scared, I want to know when she shouted out or cried that is really was ok, I said to my mum when I was giving her a wash that I would be brave, and she cried and did tell my that she was scared, I said to her look into my eyes mum, I will be the bravest girl for you, You can lean on me and we will fight this as a family and we are all going to be ok. Im sorry mum Im not that bravest girl, I cant stop crying because of the love I have for you, I know you are around me I can feel you, but I just want things to be the way they were before you were ill. Im sorry if I have let you down but I cant be brave at the moment. I dont think you are being selfish marthasgirl not at all, No one can prepare you for the emotions we are going through at the moment. It must be so hard for you to work there, I wish I could take the pain away from you or say the right words to make it better but I cant, but I can say if I can help in any way even just to speak to please email me. You take care Kris xxxxxxx

disneyfan2008

so sorry
Think of the good thoughts....! it helps me...