My day today

JimsBrother

I spent most of the day today reading posts on this site. I happened to find one from someone I wish I would have known. Her story seems so short and yet she apparently was much wiser than her years. While reading her posts and the many replies I began to wonder how many stories are just like hers.

I wondered if in her journey and that of others, if they heard words similar to these from their physician,

"Your tests have come back and they show you have cancer of the esophagus. I know this is not what you wanted to hear but let me assure you, we have a very good hospital here and we will do everything we can to rid you of all the cancer. We believe you are in the early stages and with chemo and radiation therapy, and then surgery, we will beat this."

Then after multiple rounds of chemo and radiation the doctor has the following to say:

" Your most recent tests have come back and I am very sorry to say, we did not get all the cancer, it appears the cancer has spread and is now in your lungs and your liver. Now I want you to know we are doing everything we can and will throw the kitchen sink at this and we will beat it. We have some other chemo that we want to give you and this time we will get it."

Then after a few months and another couple rounds of chemo this well meaning compassionate doctor visits in the hospital room and says:

"I am so sorry, everything we have tried has failed. I see no point in putting you through any more treatments or tests. I won't give you any medical jargon here and I'll be straight with you, It seems the cancer has reached a point were all we can do is make sure you are confortable. I have contacted the people at Hospice and they will be in to see you before you go home. They are very nice people and they will help you and your family to get through the coming days, and blah blah blah."

How many times has it gone that way? I can't say for certain but I suspect it went a little like that with someone you all called your friend. Someone I wish I could have called my friend, that person is Kitten.

William, if I didn't mention a name here, how many names do you know that belong to that fictional scenario?

What would you want anyone diagnosed with this and about to go through this horror story, do?

I ask you that because I would bet you know every name of every person that has been here, whether it was for a very short time or a very long time. You also know their treatments, their surgeries, their tests, times in and out of the hospital. You probably even know their doctors names.

This disease should never be treated with a standard operating plan, X for this stage, and XY for this stage. It just seems everything I read is pretty much that. I am very new to this and I know very little about it. I suspect I am no different than anyone else is when they learn someone they love has been diagnosed with some form of cancer. We all try to absorb as much information as we possibly can and we reach a point where we just don't want to read anymore.

That is where I was a few days ago. Then I discovered this site and the people here. My heart aches for all the people that come here and say "I was just diagnosed... and I don't know what to do"

I began reading the many discussions here this morning and through the tears, and more tears, I have found what determination, love, life, happiness, loss, and pain means to many of the people that have come here to find something and maybe like me, I don't even know what I'm looking for.

I'm scared, I'm scared for someone I love, and I'm scared for me. I so want him to be one of the people that come here and say "I beat this dam disease and you will too"

I hope I didn't cause anyone to be upset or to hurt any more than they have already. I just had to put my thoughts down here. Whether it is out of my own frustration or just a need to express some terrible thoughts.

Thank you all for doing what you are doing here. This is the hell of reality, and the hell of a terrible disease that takes so much from us all.

Rob

zinniemay

we are all one
We all come here for the same reason to find and understand what is going on and will happen with our love ones. Sometimes there is so much saddiness but there is also allot of love and true caring on this site. William and so many others help and directed me to the right place to be so I can find the answers, No always what I want to hear but it is what We need to know. This site is giving me tools to understand and stand up for my husband.
It is a blessing to find such support and know that we are not alone . People are walking and have walked this path. Each one can add to things to help us cope, understand and move forward.
Peace be with you
Jennie

unclaw2002

Rob,
Welcome to our family.
Rob,

Welcome to our family. Your post was thoughful and thank you for sharing your thoughts.

I too became a member of this Board after Kitten had passed away, but gained much hope and comfort from reading her posts. Her saying “"Life is not waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning how to dance in the rain." - Kitten aka Catherine L. Simons – has become a kind of mantra for many on this site. Then there is Moe’s admonitions to us caregivers and family members to have our cry, or screaming fit or pity party and then put on those “big girl” or “big boy panties” and get on with the fight. (Moe’s husband had stage III and underwent chemo and radiation then the Ivor Lewis surgery and is currently cancer free --- one of the many success stories on this site).

I write you as the daughter of my 78 year old dad who had more life and energy than many half his age before his cancer was found. When you are not the spouse, but a family member child or sibling we are in different places and sometimes it is a very difficult place to be. We don’t love them any less, we want to help, we want to encourage, we want to convince them to do things we think are in their best interest --- but they won’t always listen to us or follow our advice. Truth be told, they won’t always follow the advice of their partners or spouses either. One of the difficult things for me to figure out is the balance, how much should I do, how involved do I get and where can I help the most. It is an ever shifting landscape and changes as the cancer moves on and believe me there are plenty of missteps along the way.

A frustrating thing for me was knowing that my Dad was not always making the best decisions, there were lots of reasons for this but it didn’t matter because I couldn’t stop him from doing some things that in the long run meant that he did not receive the best medical care and led to some very bad outcomes. He complained about problems almost 18 months before his first EC diagnosis in December of 2009 . . . who knows where he would be now if different choices had been made . . . perhaps his cancer could have been found at Stage II , maybe it wouldn’t have metastasized to his liver, or he wouldn’t have had the horrible experience with the stents, and dehydration and almost dying because he wasn’t given enough fluids. But now I can only deal with what is and move on from here. I have had to try to present the facts and information and let go because at the end of the day it was his decision even if I didn’t agree.

What I have tried to do, which is really hard for me because I am a person that likes to be in control, was to help with things that made his life easier. I took over filling out all the multitude of forms at the hospital, coordinated insurance questions and benefits, made appointments, spoke to the doctors, researched information for him when he had questions about the chemo drugs or other things. The chemo made it hard for him to read and he got what he called chemo fog brain and unless we wrote it down he would forget it. Right now that has gone away but I wonder if it will return as he begins this new round of chemo. When the doctor’s were going to discharge him home without home health aides I insisted that the doctor order them and they did. In the midst of the physical pain and treatments it is hard for some to demand things from the doctors because I think they feel so vulnerable and dependant on the doctors.

I also do try to hold him accountable --- make him move around and tell him he can do it. When he was here a month ago he came in a wheelchair, with a walker and a cane. You can guess what the doctor said when she saw him using all those things. The word was fragile. But by the end of the week he was up walking around and barely using the cane and now that he is back in New Orleans he has put all those things away. A funny story we were at a grocery store and he was using the cane but when we got into the store he wanted to get one of those electric carts. I wouldn’t let him do it – I said he needed the exercise and I would walk slowly and if we needed to rest or have him lean on something we could do that and if he got too tired we could go back to the café in the store and I would check out. Well he made it through the entire store and when we were driving home he was very proud that he had been able to walk and not use the little electric cart. Sometimes a little nudge can help them push themselves, but sometimes they really need the help --- knowing when is so hard and what you should say or do is even harder than that. After all they are fighting for their lives, but we are fighting with them and when they get down we have to be there to hold them up even when they get angry at us, or are hurtful because we all know that they are scared. And when they can’t fight we continue to fight for them until they have regained the strength to take up the battle again. And always we treasure the days we have.

I also talk to him as much as I can and have taken off time from work to visit with him and help out with doctor appointments. I live in Delaware they are in New Orleans so this is a challenge for me with a full time job although I am fortunate and can use my sick leave through FMLA. My Dad is really into genealogy so my daughter bought him a recorder so he can make some tapes about the old family stories and things he has accumulated about the family tree. I intend to make another visit soon to New Orleans and talk about some of the things he wants to do --- he mentioned a trip to Ireland and one to Paris (not sure those are possible). If he is able he will be back here in November for another visit at Sloan in New York to evaluate if he has gained enough strength and can tolerate a more aggressive regimen of chemo to fight back the liver tumors. He is a big Saints and Steelers fan so I am going to try and get some football tickets and maybe arrange for a limo to take us to the game. My parents always loved the Opera so I am going to try and see if one is playing when they get here. And for the history stuff my dad wants to go to the National Archives in Washington DC and the New York library in Manhattan ---- some of our early ancestors were the Dutch Settler’s and many of the records are there.

I think our job is to try and make things better for our loved ones, to be there to help and love them and support them as they face one of the most difficult battles of their lives. Your brother is lucky to have you in his corner.

Best,
Cindy

JimsBrother

zinniemay said:

we are all one
We all come here for the same reason to find and understand what is going on and will happen with our love ones. Sometimes there is so much saddiness but there is also allot of love and true caring on this site. William and so many others help and directed me to the right place to be so I can find the answers, No always what I want to hear but it is what We need to know. This site is giving me tools to understand and stand up for my husband.
It is a blessing to find such support and know that we are not alone . People are walking and have walked this path. Each one can add to things to help us cope, understand and move forward.
Peace be with you
Jennie

This is a great site
Jennie,

Thank you so much for your reply. I agree with you 100%, this site is a great site. For many reasons. Most of all it has helped me understand the personal side of this. How people feel after treatments, and things we can do to help make things easier on our loved ones.

The scenerio I stated above came from several years ago when my sister in law lost her fight with cancer. Today when I read about Kitten and what she went through, it brought my sister in law's fight back to mind. I know that isn't the norm.

This site shows me the courage within people when faced with the most difficult of times, and the comfort they receive from their friends. It's sad but it also fills my heart with joy because I know there are people here feeling and thinking the same things I am, and the same things I am sure my brother is feeling and thinking.

I thank you for your reply and look forward to reading many more.

Rob

JimsBrother

unclaw2002 said:

Rob,
Welcome to our family.
Rob,

Welcome to our family. Your post was thoughful and thank you for sharing your thoughts.

I too became a member of this Board after Kitten had passed away, but gained much hope and comfort from reading her posts. Her saying “"Life is not waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning how to dance in the rain." - Kitten aka Catherine L. Simons – has become a kind of mantra for many on this site. Then there is Moe’s admonitions to us caregivers and family members to have our cry, or screaming fit or pity party and then put on those “big girl” or “big boy panties” and get on with the fight. (Moe’s husband had stage III and underwent chemo and radiation then the Ivor Lewis surgery and is currently cancer free --- one of the many success stories on this site).

I write you as the daughter of my 78 year old dad who had more life and energy than many half his age before his cancer was found. When you are not the spouse, but a family member child or sibling we are in different places and sometimes it is a very difficult place to be. We don’t love them any less, we want to help, we want to encourage, we want to convince them to do things we think are in their best interest --- but they won’t always listen to us or follow our advice. Truth be told, they won’t always follow the advice of their partners or spouses either. One of the difficult things for me to figure out is the balance, how much should I do, how involved do I get and where can I help the most. It is an ever shifting landscape and changes as the cancer moves on and believe me there are plenty of missteps along the way.

A frustrating thing for me was knowing that my Dad was not always making the best decisions, there were lots of reasons for this but it didn’t matter because I couldn’t stop him from doing some things that in the long run meant that he did not receive the best medical care and led to some very bad outcomes. He complained about problems almost 18 months before his first EC diagnosis in December of 2009 . . . who knows where he would be now if different choices had been made . . . perhaps his cancer could have been found at Stage II , maybe it wouldn’t have metastasized to his liver, or he wouldn’t have had the horrible experience with the stents, and dehydration and almost dying because he wasn’t given enough fluids. But now I can only deal with what is and move on from here. I have had to try to present the facts and information and let go because at the end of the day it was his decision even if I didn’t agree.

What I have tried to do, which is really hard for me because I am a person that likes to be in control, was to help with things that made his life easier. I took over filling out all the multitude of forms at the hospital, coordinated insurance questions and benefits, made appointments, spoke to the doctors, researched information for him when he had questions about the chemo drugs or other things. The chemo made it hard for him to read and he got what he called chemo fog brain and unless we wrote it down he would forget it. Right now that has gone away but I wonder if it will return as he begins this new round of chemo. When the doctor’s were going to discharge him home without home health aides I insisted that the doctor order them and they did. In the midst of the physical pain and treatments it is hard for some to demand things from the doctors because I think they feel so vulnerable and dependant on the doctors.

I also do try to hold him accountable --- make him move around and tell him he can do it. When he was here a month ago he came in a wheelchair, with a walker and a cane. You can guess what the doctor said when she saw him using all those things. The word was fragile. But by the end of the week he was up walking around and barely using the cane and now that he is back in New Orleans he has put all those things away. A funny story we were at a grocery store and he was using the cane but when we got into the store he wanted to get one of those electric carts. I wouldn’t let him do it – I said he needed the exercise and I would walk slowly and if we needed to rest or have him lean on something we could do that and if he got too tired we could go back to the café in the store and I would check out. Well he made it through the entire store and when we were driving home he was very proud that he had been able to walk and not use the little electric cart. Sometimes a little nudge can help them push themselves, but sometimes they really need the help --- knowing when is so hard and what you should say or do is even harder than that. After all they are fighting for their lives, but we are fighting with them and when they get down we have to be there to hold them up even when they get angry at us, or are hurtful because we all know that they are scared. And when they can’t fight we continue to fight for them until they have regained the strength to take up the battle again. And always we treasure the days we have.

I also talk to him as much as I can and have taken off time from work to visit with him and help out with doctor appointments. I live in Delaware they are in New Orleans so this is a challenge for me with a full time job although I am fortunate and can use my sick leave through FMLA. My Dad is really into genealogy so my daughter bought him a recorder so he can make some tapes about the old family stories and things he has accumulated about the family tree. I intend to make another visit soon to New Orleans and talk about some of the things he wants to do --- he mentioned a trip to Ireland and one to Paris (not sure those are possible). If he is able he will be back here in November for another visit at Sloan in New York to evaluate if he has gained enough strength and can tolerate a more aggressive regimen of chemo to fight back the liver tumors. He is a big Saints and Steelers fan so I am going to try and get some football tickets and maybe arrange for a limo to take us to the game. My parents always loved the Opera so I am going to try and see if one is playing when they get here. And for the history stuff my dad wants to go to the National Archives in Washington DC and the New York library in Manhattan ---- some of our early ancestors were the Dutch Settler’s and many of the records are there.

I think our job is to try and make things better for our loved ones, to be there to help and love them and support them as they face one of the most difficult battles of their lives. Your brother is lucky to have you in his corner.

Best,
Cindy

Thank you Cindy.
Cindy,

Thank you so very much. I want to join all of the others that wish nothing but the best for your dad. You are so right, family members like you and I have a job to do. It's not easy, it's not what we would wish on anyone. However, it is as important as any of the oncologists, radiologists, or any of the health care professionals. I thank God for the opportunity to do the job in front of me. I know that even being 400 miles from my brother, I can still help him get through this and come out on the other side cancer free.

Between now and then, if he wants to scream, I will let him scream, if he wants to shout out with joy when he beats this, I will shout out with him. Anything whatsoever he needs from me I will gladly do.

Yesterday was my day to get all the bad thoughts out of my system and get busy doing what you and so many others have done, and that is to provide the support Jim aka Gateraid, needs or wants at any time day or night that he needs it.

Thank you Cindy for showing me that. I have only been here a few days, I can see I have much to learn. I'm sure there will be many questions along the way and I am thankful that there is a place to find the answers. The hundred or more websites i have been to over the past 2 weeks, have given me a small amount of information compared to what I have found right here.

I hope that everyone knows how much I appreciate every word in every post they have made. This is the real information we need. Nowhere in any of those sites did I read anything like your letter. Nowhere did I read anything close to what William has provided right here.

So once again I say thank you to you and everyone else that comes here and shares what is in their heart.

You are all hero's in one way or another.

Rob

slydog11

JimsBrother said:

Thank you Cindy.
Cindy,

Thank you so very much. I want to join all of the others that wish nothing but the best for your dad. You are so right, family members like you and I have a job to do. It's not easy, it's not what we would wish on anyone. However, it is as important as any of the oncologists, radiologists, or any of the health care professionals. I thank God for the opportunity to do the job in front of me. I know that even being 400 miles from my brother, I can still help him get through this and come out on the other side cancer free.

Between now and then, if he wants to scream, I will let him scream, if he wants to shout out with joy when he beats this, I will shout out with him. Anything whatsoever he needs from me I will gladly do.

Yesterday was my day to get all the bad thoughts out of my system and get busy doing what you and so many others have done, and that is to provide the support Jim aka Gateraid, needs or wants at any time day or night that he needs it.

Thank you Cindy for showing me that. I have only been here a few days, I can see I have much to learn. I'm sure there will be many questions along the way and I am thankful that there is a place to find the answers. The hundred or more websites i have been to over the past 2 weeks, have given me a small amount of information compared to what I have found right here.

I hope that everyone knows how much I appreciate every word in every post they have made. This is the real information we need. Nowhere in any of those sites did I read anything like your letter. Nowhere did I read anything close to what William has provided right here.

So once again I say thank you to you and everyone else that comes here and shares what is in their heart.

You are all hero's in one way or another.

Rob

FAMILY SUPPORT
Hi Jim,

I want to commend you on the level of support you're giving. I'm a newbie to the world of EC having just been diagnosed just 4 weeks ago with StageIVb. My treatment involves chemo in a clinical trial setting at Mass General. Surgery and radiation are not an option.

One thing I've learned is the gratitude of having strong support systems from my family. My wife is a godsend as well as my children, grandchildren, and siblings. Believe me when I tell you that your support is so essential to the process.

Anyway, I just wanted to introduce myself and wish you well.

Paul

MOE58

Hi Rob You can do it
Hi Rob,

Well I am Lori aka MOE58, I want to commend you for standing by your brother, and yes being a caregiver is the hardest, I too had a hard time accepting Cancer with my husband then, (we are divorced) but without this board I couldn't of done it, and Yes without "KITTEN" AKA CATHY, I couldn't have gotten through it, she was my mentor, she was a wonderful person, and she got me through everything, you see she was only 24 when GOD took her home and only been married one year to her husband she was a lovely lady never met her but knowing her was the best thing i could have learned from her, Kitten was cancer free for awhile, but in August of 09 she went to have a scan done, and they found cancer cells and fluid, she went fast she left us in November 30, and it was very hard to know such a young woman that was so full of spirit and helped us all has left us, so we try to carry her words, and laughter throughout this site. Then again, there is William and I will say when i first met him I COULDN'T STAND HIM, I thought he was rude, hateful, and knew too much, but as the days came and went and Jeff had his surgery with complications not knowing if was going to make it literally not from the surgery but from other complications was a tough road, i never left the hospital for 5 days and 5 nights, he was semi in a coma then gradually brought him out, he was healthy person, other than this beast we call cancer, and we found this out on April fools of 09, this was not a good joke on us, I work in the medical field and when the doctor told us he had cancer, you could have picked me up off the floor, I stayed with him every night at the hospital until he came home, and i would do all over again, knowing what I know now. Jeff had a long road until about October, and in November due to circumstances I left and never looked back, Jeff is a wonderful person, caring kind but had alot of issues, I could not stay around for, Jeff and I are better friends than husband and wife.

Rob, you can do this, you have to PULL UP YOUR BIG BOY UNDERWEAR, and keep on going, no matter how tough this journey gets just remember that some people on our board is either under hospice, cant have the surgery of any kind or just needs prayers along with help.

I am here at anytime if you need to ask questions and I have probably walked the most shoes on this board for surgery wise that is, especially the IVOR LEWIS surgery.

I want you to know that KITTEN"S family does read the board and I am friends with her family on another site.

So in rememberence of KITTEN AKA CATHY; I WILL SIGN OFF WITH THIS:

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR A STORM TO PASS ITS LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.

Take care
Lori

JimsBrother

MOE58 said:

Hi Rob You can do it
Hi Rob,

Well I am Lori aka MOE58, I want to commend you for standing by your brother, and yes being a caregiver is the hardest, I too had a hard time accepting Cancer with my husband then, (we are divorced) but without this board I couldn't of done it, and Yes without "KITTEN" AKA CATHY, I couldn't have gotten through it, she was my mentor, she was a wonderful person, and she got me through everything, you see she was only 24 when GOD took her home and only been married one year to her husband she was a lovely lady never met her but knowing her was the best thing i could have learned from her, Kitten was cancer free for awhile, but in August of 09 she went to have a scan done, and they found cancer cells and fluid, she went fast she left us in November 30, and it was very hard to know such a young woman that was so full of spirit and helped us all has left us, so we try to carry her words, and laughter throughout this site. Then again, there is William and I will say when i first met him I COULDN'T STAND HIM, I thought he was rude, hateful, and knew too much, but as the days came and went and Jeff had his surgery with complications not knowing if was going to make it literally not from the surgery but from other complications was a tough road, i never left the hospital for 5 days and 5 nights, he was semi in a coma then gradually brought him out, he was healthy person, other than this beast we call cancer, and we found this out on April fools of 09, this was not a good joke on us, I work in the medical field and when the doctor told us he had cancer, you could have picked me up off the floor, I stayed with him every night at the hospital until he came home, and i would do all over again, knowing what I know now. Jeff had a long road until about October, and in November due to circumstances I left and never looked back, Jeff is a wonderful person, caring kind but had alot of issues, I could not stay around for, Jeff and I are better friends than husband and wife.

Rob, you can do this, you have to PULL UP YOUR BIG BOY UNDERWEAR, and keep on going, no matter how tough this journey gets just remember that some people on our board is either under hospice, cant have the surgery of any kind or just needs prayers along with help.

I am here at anytime if you need to ask questions and I have probably walked the most shoes on this board for surgery wise that is, especially the IVOR LEWIS surgery.

I want you to know that KITTEN"S family does read the board and I am friends with her family on another site.

So in rememberence of KITTEN AKA CATHY; I WILL SIGN OFF WITH THIS:

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR A STORM TO PASS ITS LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.

Take care
Lori

Thanks Moe
Well Moe I gotta say, you set the bar pretty high. Given the same situation I doubt my ex would come and take care of me. We are on fairly good terms, but she is a bit too shallow. If it's not about her then it's not worth paying no nevermind.

I don't know how much help I will be other then emotional support. We live a ways from eachother. I do plan on visiting him in October when he is mid chemo. Hopefully he won't have many side effects. If he does, well, I'll stay in a hotel. ( Just kidding Jim aka Gator, you can stay in a hotel )

I will plan a trip around the Patriots vs Buffalo Bills game. So I can watch him cry when the Bills win.

On a more serious note, I think he knows I will do anything he asks, and probably some things he won't have to ask. He is the only family I have, and I need him to stick around so I have someone to pick on.

Lori, you must be a wonderful person, I'm honored to know you. I don't know if I could do the same and I hope I never need to find out.

Thanks you so much for taking the time to write that note. You are an inspiration to anyone in the role of caregiver.

MOE58

JimsBrother said:

Thanks Moe
Well Moe I gotta say, you set the bar pretty high. Given the same situation I doubt my ex would come and take care of me. We are on fairly good terms, but she is a bit too shallow. If it's not about her then it's not worth paying no nevermind.

I don't know how much help I will be other then emotional support. We live a ways from eachother. I do plan on visiting him in October when he is mid chemo. Hopefully he won't have many side effects. If he does, well, I'll stay in a hotel. ( Just kidding Jim aka Gator, you can stay in a hotel )

I will plan a trip around the Patriots vs Buffalo Bills game. So I can watch him cry when the Bills win.

On a more serious note, I think he knows I will do anything he asks, and probably some things he won't have to ask. He is the only family I have, and I need him to stick around so I have someone to pick on.

Lori, you must be a wonderful person, I'm honored to know you. I don't know if I could do the same and I hope I never need to find out.

Thanks you so much for taking the time to write that note. You are an inspiration to anyone in the role of caregiver.

Thanks
Yes I had a tough road, but as I was always raised take one day at a time. I have had alot of "KUDOS" for doing what I did or should i say have done. I learned alot and there is no way I am going anywhere on this site I have met alot of wonderful people and they are my friends.

Let me know if I can help

thanks again
Lori/aka moe58

Unknown

MOE58 said:

Hi Rob You can do it
Hi Rob,

Well I am Lori aka MOE58, I want to commend you for standing by your brother, and yes being a caregiver is the hardest, I too had a hard time accepting Cancer with my husband then, (we are divorced) but without this board I couldn't of done it, and Yes without "KITTEN" AKA CATHY, I couldn't have gotten through it, she was my mentor, she was a wonderful person, and she got me through everything, you see she was only 24 when GOD took her home and only been married one year to her husband she was a lovely lady never met her but knowing her was the best thing i could have learned from her, Kitten was cancer free for awhile, but in August of 09 she went to have a scan done, and they found cancer cells and fluid, she went fast she left us in November 30, and it was very hard to know such a young woman that was so full of spirit and helped us all has left us, so we try to carry her words, and laughter throughout this site. Then again, there is William and I will say when i first met him I COULDN'T STAND HIM, I thought he was rude, hateful, and knew too much, but as the days came and went and Jeff had his surgery with complications not knowing if was going to make it literally not from the surgery but from other complications was a tough road, i never left the hospital for 5 days and 5 nights, he was semi in a coma then gradually brought him out, he was healthy person, other than this beast we call cancer, and we found this out on April fools of 09, this was not a good joke on us, I work in the medical field and when the doctor told us he had cancer, you could have picked me up off the floor, I stayed with him every night at the hospital until he came home, and i would do all over again, knowing what I know now. Jeff had a long road until about October, and in November due to circumstances I left and never looked back, Jeff is a wonderful person, caring kind but had alot of issues, I could not stay around for, Jeff and I are better friends than husband and wife.

Rob, you can do this, you have to PULL UP YOUR BIG BOY UNDERWEAR, and keep on going, no matter how tough this journey gets just remember that some people on our board is either under hospice, cant have the surgery of any kind or just needs prayers along with help.

I am here at anytime if you need to ask questions and I have probably walked the most shoes on this board for surgery wise that is, especially the IVOR LEWIS surgery.

I want you to know that KITTEN"S family does read the board and I am friends with her family on another site.

So in rememberence of KITTEN AKA CATHY; I WILL SIGN OFF WITH THIS:

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR A STORM TO PASS ITS LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.

Take care
Lori

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JimsBrother

MOE58 said:

Thanks
Yes I had a tough road, but as I was always raised take one day at a time. I have had alot of "KUDOS" for doing what I did or should i say have done. I learned alot and there is no way I am going anywhere on this site I have met alot of wonderful people and they are my friends.

Let me know if I can help

thanks again
Lori/aka moe58

Wal-Mart
Lori,

After reading your post, I got right in the car and went shopping. I found some "Big Boy Undies" on sale at Wal-Mart. I haven't put them on yet, I'm not sure I am ready. I will let you know though when the time comes. No, I won't tell whether they are boxers of briefs... a guy has to have some secrets.

Hope this day finds everyone doing well. Thanks for your replies.

Rob

MOE58

unknown said:

This comment has been removed by the Moderator

WILLIAM YOU KNOW BETTER
yes william you know better I told you from the beginning I didn't like you and was rude, but after awhile you grew on me and I relied on you for help didn't I, Yes i was a baby in diapers and then training pants, and then had to put on my BGP but not anymore those are retired!!! remember? Yes I had the chance to walk out but didn't I hung in there.

Yes your opinion is much better now to me, you have completely got to the tolerable level especially when WE/US thought Jeff was not going to make it, especially the first 72 hours, but you kept praying and blessing us and he did.

William what would we do without you, I just had to say that and you know thats what I thought in the beginning but now your a FINE man.

Thanks William and know I love you too! But look I got JIMSBROTHER wearing his BIG BOY UNDERWEAR, where before nobody had ANY on this site. With that a Laugh, and everything, I think I have finally graduated from everything. What do you think William?

It is so nice to be able to help give advice or help someone down the journey I walked instead of asking for help, right?

Take care love you and loretta
Lori