Tears-Moods- and Maybe Good News?

natly15
natly15 Member Posts: 1,941
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Had my first mammo and ultra sound 2 weeks ago this coming Thursday. Received a not so nice letter this past Thursday saying there is an area that is probably benign but need to keep a watch on it for any changes. Immediately called my onc and was advised they would get back to me. My onc nurse called today and said my surgical onc thinks its scar tissue and we will revisit the area in 6 months.

It's been a stressful couple of days for me.I guess scar tissue is good news, but this is not what I wanted to hear.

In addition my moods are swinging like a monkey on a tree, and I'm definitley not sleeping like a bear. I've been on arimidex since mid July.

Had a complete melt down last nite. I'm usually pretty calm and reasonable with other people's issues, but I absolutely lost it yesterday. Day started out on a not so good note and just got worse. Cried off and on till 5 am this morning. Is anyone experiencing mood swings and irritability on this drug? I'm ready to say no more arimidex. I dont like feeling this emotional. I do take zoloft but not sure it is helping right now.

Going to Ohio tomorrow for a wedding, something I've looked forward to all year. I'll see many friends and family but I think this medication is putting me into a depression and I'm feeling down instead of up. I'm wordy but needed to get this out of my system.

Have a call into my onc's office again.
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Comments

  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
    #2
    Natly, sorry to read you are
    Natly, sorry to read you are having a down day. It does happen to the best of us, you know? Perhaps just the apprehension with the "not so perfect" mammo set you up to challenge your resolve. Go away to the wedding and forget all about what's happening and see yur friends and family and have a wonderful time. Like you said, you have been looking forward to this all year. Enjoy and post a picture of yourself with a beautiful smile on your face....just to prove you did it!!
  • aysemari
    aysemari Member Posts: 1,596 Member
    #3
    OH Natly
    even during hard times like this you don't fail to display humor and and your objectivity.

    Scar tissue, is wonderful news!! Try to concentrate on THAT. I will keep you in my thoughts
    and send positive vibes your way.

    It really sounds like the meds are making you very emotional, maybe have a chat with your
    oncologist to see what can be done.

    Please JUST enjoy the wedding, ignore cancer for that day!

    lotsa hugs,

    Ayse
  • MAJW
    MAJW Member Posts: 2,510 Member
    #4
    It's scary....
    First, I replied to your Private Message.......Second I know it's scary when we don't hear what we want after a mammo....had my first post op mammo, after all treatment, in April......it "showed something" on the "good" boob....all agree it is a cyst but will recheck it in October(after 6 months)........I kept thinking, "here we go again, exactly one year later"......but was reassured it was a cyst......I still think about it but I have learned to let go, what I can't control......I'm not taking any type of drug, I'm triple negative, so I can't comment on the emotions tied to the Arimidex........but I bet someone on this board will be able to........

    Have fun in Ohio.......I'm a "Buckeye" myself! Look forward to our meeting in September!
    nancy
  • missrenee
    missrenee Member Posts: 2,136 Member
    #5
    MAJW said:

    It's scary....
    First, I replied to your Private Message.......Second I know it's scary when we don't hear what we want after a mammo....had my first post op mammo, after all treatment, in April......it "showed something" on the "good" boob....all agree it is a cyst but will recheck it in October(after 6 months)........I kept thinking, "here we go again, exactly one year later"......but was reassured it was a cyst......I still think about it but I have learned to let go, what I can't control......I'm not taking any type of drug, I'm triple negative, so I can't comment on the emotions tied to the Arimidex........but I bet someone on this board will be able to........

    Have fun in Ohio.......I'm a "Buckeye" myself! Look forward to our meeting in September!
    nancy

    Oh, Natly--I'm coming up on a first mammo in October
    and I'm really anxious. But, it really sounds like your scar tissue is a good finding. I've been on Arimidex for about 5 weeks. I have not experienced the depression (however, I am also on Zoloft), but I have had a couple of wacky mood swings--just flying off the handle for things that really shouldn't bother me. I find things just get to me faster and I lack the control valve. I've also just finished treatment and that in itself comes with some baggage.

    Have fun at the wedding-dance, dance, dance!

    Hugs, Renee
  • Jean 0609
    Jean 0609 Member Posts: 2,462
    #6
    Sorry to hear you had a rough day.
    Hopefully, the wedding will get your mind off things. You are a strong lady, and you are allowed to have bad days. Hang in there. Make sure to post pictures from the wedding when you return. Hugs, Jean
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    #7
    MAJW said:

    It's scary....
    First, I replied to your Private Message.......Second I know it's scary when we don't hear what we want after a mammo....had my first post op mammo, after all treatment, in April......it "showed something" on the "good" boob....all agree it is a cyst but will recheck it in October(after 6 months)........I kept thinking, "here we go again, exactly one year later"......but was reassured it was a cyst......I still think about it but I have learned to let go, what I can't control......I'm not taking any type of drug, I'm triple negative, so I can't comment on the emotions tied to the Arimidex........but I bet someone on this board will be able to........

    Have fun in Ohio.......I'm a "Buckeye" myself! Look forward to our meeting in September!
    nancy

    Natly and Nancy and many other sisters out there!!!!
    I am so very sorry that you are getting hit, over and over again with news that puts us in a tail spin - turns on semi-normal lives upside down. It SUCKS big time, and hurts. We have breast cancer, in 1 form or another .. we go in for treatments, rads or chemo .. we have the recommended surgeries .. all awhile smiling and putting on a BRAVE face. We know that things get better, and back to normal - based on the support and uplifting messages place on our ACS boards. However, with time our patience run thin .. when? howcome? seems to be our only answers .. I know they have been mine for so long. Or my favorite .. wait for it .. "NOT, again". Many of days and night .. I was just sick and tire of being 'sick and tired'.

    It's sad when your only new friends are the nurses at your various doctors offices .. right? Or get excited when we can talk a 1/4 mile walk, do the dishes and fix our beds. Let's not forget those that love us and know us .. always by our sides helping or comforting us .. OH wait a minute .. now that we have some hair sprouting, it means we are back 100%!! Are our loved ones CRAZY? We are 100 percent full capacity ..NOT -- no need to call and check up on us .. my list goes on and on (like my emails) .. My husband is still confused as to why I can't do more with him, or around our house. Go figure, he is my driver and drives me to PT - 3 times a weeks for my chronic fatigue(i have issues driving, and forgetting where I am at) - If he wasn't such a great guy - I would of slapped him by now.

    My mom/wife's days are filled with mood swings and irrability - this is how my family often describes me to their friends. Did I mention my wild emotions .. crying uncontrollably at the 'Marley and Me' movie I caught on HBO, several days ago .. Yes, I cried for 45 minutes, yes I've seen it several times. I guess I need that, is what I said to my family as they stare at me... Our Life .. before, during, and after breast cancer .. Have to LOVE IT!

    Natly .. use ROCK it my sister WARRIOR, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise .. You get up .. get that ice cream .. scoop it out and enjoy or piece of fruit .. Get up and pack for that Ohio Wedding .. Go there and strike a pose // VOGUE by maddona! You've got it going on ... and we all know it!!!!

    Nancy .. You so sweet thing !! Encouragement! It looks to be a 'Buckeye' year in football ... Go Bucks

    Strength and Courge:


    Dealing with Hot Flashes and 104 degrees today in So. Calif

    Vicki Sam
  • cookie97
    cookie97 Member Posts: 200
    #8
    Go enjoy the wedding
    Go enjoy the wedding have a good cry there too. I always cry at weddings even if I don't know the people! Oops did I say that out loud!
    But when you get back I'd be calling that onc. office and telling them I don't want to wait and revisit in 6 months check it now! You don't need to add any more anxiety to your life right now. Don't let them strong arm you either!
    As for the arimidex I won't be starting that for a couple more weeks and you will be the first person I contact if I start having any se's like yours. We'll start our own club.

    Take care and have agreat time at the wedding,
    Edie
  • Pinkpower
    Pinkpower Member Posts: 437
    #9
    Thinkng of you Natly. Pray
    Thinkng of you Natly. Pray you have a great time at the wedding and like someone else said, go ahead and cry (you can use the wedding as an excuse. lol) But I do hope you have a wonderful time surrounded by family and friends.

    Vicky, you said it all. Boy do I know what you're talking about. Thanks

    Lupe
  • cahjah75
    cahjah75 Member Posts: 2,631
    #10
    Oh Natly
    my heart aches for you )-: You sound like I felt when going through menopause. I cried all the time and felt like I was such a wimp and a b***h. It's ok to feel down in the dumps now and then after what you've been through. Right now I want you to listen to what VickiSam said and go to the wedding. Enjoy yourself, take pictures and yes, cry at the wedding. I cry at most weddings too, emotional fool that I am!

    As soon as you get home talk to your onc about how you're feeling on Arimidex. Maybe he/she can offer some solution. I hope so because stress does not help your mood swings. I would want to know something more definitive than it's probably scar tissue on the mammo. Sending cyber {{hugs}} and get packing girl :-)
    Char
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    #11
    Natly,
    Regarding the mammo,
    Natly,
    Regarding the mammo, I actually got the same evaluation after my 1st mammo after surgery, treatment etc. I had my 2nd one 6 months later and nothing appears to have changed. The 1st mammos are a bit tricky. There have been many changes to the breast from surgery, radiation, and probably chemo as well. I just did my 3rd mammo and I haven't heard yet but I expect it to be just fine. I treated all of my mammos as NED. Unless I hear the word cancer, I consider myself to be cancer free and I don't worry (well, I try anyway)
    As far as the depression and mood changes. Talk with your oncologist. Maybe you can adjust the zoloft and see if that helps. The arimidex could be contributing to this, but so can all the other changes you have been through. Before you go off of it, see if making changes in your zoloft can help. But if it persists and you feel that the side effects are too great then you must do what makes you comfortable. While arimidex does a job on the estrogen and is a great weapon for prevention, only you can determine which way to go. I am on arimidex and have had none of those side effects. I have had some bone loss which we are monitoring and added Vitamin D and calcium. If my next bone density tests shows further loss I will evaluate whether I want to do bone loss meds or go off the arimidex. My sister took arimidex and had so many emotional problems that she chose to stop it. It can be such a coin toss in who gets what side effects. Can you try one of the other estrogen blockers?
    I wlll keep you in my good thoughts that this is resolved.
    Stef
  • cindycflynn
    cindycflynn Member Posts: 1,132 Member
    #12
    Natly
    So sorry you've been going through this emotional wringer, but glad to hear that you have a call in to your doctor and also that it looks like the ultimate results of your mammo were indeed Good News!

    I hope that you find the answer to your medication that will make you feel a lot more like yourself again soon. In the meantime, enjoy the wedding and have a cancer-free day in celebration of new beginnings.

    Sending Big HUGS,
    Cindy
  • lynn1950
    lynn1950 Member Posts: 2,570
    #13
    Natly, I am the depression
    Natly, I am the depression queen. All others are merely princesses and other members of my royal retinue. I think Arimidex definitely contributes to depression. I started feeling depression at the end of treatment, but the crash came after a few months on Arimidex. Zoloft has really helped. Maybe talk to your doctor about upping the dose.... best wishes for a lovely time at the wedding. xoxoxoxo Lynn
  • laurissa
    laurissa Member Posts: 773
    #14
    Natly
    I hope you feel better soon. Try to have a good trip to Ohio.
  • Megan M
    Megan M Member Posts: 3,000
    #15
    Jean 0609 said:

    Sorry to hear you had a rough day.
    Hopefully, the wedding will get your mind off things. You are a strong lady, and you are allowed to have bad days. Hang in there. Make sure to post pictures from the wedding when you return. Hugs, Jean

    I hope you go and can really
    I hope you go and can really enjoy the wedding. Put cancer out of your mind, if you can. We would love to see pics too!


    Hugs, Megan
  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294
    #16
    laurissa said:

    Natly
    I hope you feel better soon. Try to have a good trip to Ohio.

    Natly
    Sorry, I guess we all need estrogen LOL.
    Wishing you a good time at the wedding and hope your mode will improve.
    Hugs
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    #17
    BOO HISS!
    Oh Natly I am so sorry that things did not go as smoothly as we would like, I too have a scar tissue site that they keep an eye on which always freaks me out a bit. They always take extra views and put me in the vise far squishier than they did prior to the cancer. The good news is that it has not change and your's probably will not either. The wedding sounds like fun, try your best to put all this aside for a weekend, you really deserve a get away that allows you some relief from the medical community. Have fun this weekly Natly, hugs, hugs, hugs!

    RE
  • jnl
    jnl Member Posts: 3,869 Member
    #18
    Pinkpower said:

    Thinkng of you Natly. Pray
    Thinkng of you Natly. Pray you have a great time at the wedding and like someone else said, go ahead and cry (you can use the wedding as an excuse. lol) But I do hope you have a wonderful time surrounded by family and friends.

    Vicky, you said it all. Boy do I know what you're talking about. Thanks

    Lupe

    So sorry Natly that you are
    So sorry Natly that you are down. I hope you go to the wedding and have a super time!


    Hugs, Leeza
  • Ritzy
    Ritzy Member Posts: 4,381 Member
    #19
    MyTurnNow said:

    Natly, sorry to read you are
    Natly, sorry to read you are having a down day. It does happen to the best of us, you know? Perhaps just the apprehension with the "not so perfect" mammo set you up to challenge your resolve. Go away to the wedding and forget all about what's happening and see yur friends and family and have a wonderful time. Like you said, you have been looking forward to this all year. Enjoy and post a picture of yourself with a beautiful smile on your face....just to prove you did it!!

    Sorry Natly about the mammo
    Sorry Natly about the mammo not being perfect for you! I think any of us would be a bit down about it too, but, they say it is scar tissue, so, let's think positive!

    You go to that wedding and just have fun! That is an order! lol


    Take care,

    Sue :)
  • DianeBC
    DianeBC Member Posts: 3,881 Member
    #20
    missrenee said:

    Oh, Natly--I'm coming up on a first mammo in October
    and I'm really anxious. But, it really sounds like your scar tissue is a good finding. I've been on Arimidex for about 5 weeks. I have not experienced the depression (however, I am also on Zoloft), but I have had a couple of wacky mood swings--just flying off the handle for things that really shouldn't bother me. I find things just get to me faster and I lack the control valve. I've also just finished treatment and that in itself comes with some baggage.

    Have fun at the wedding-dance, dance, dance!

    Hugs, Renee

    I know that you would have
    I know that you would have preferred nothing, but, I would take scar tissue and dance with NED anyway. Hoping you have a great time at the wedding!


    Hugs!
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    #21
    RE said:

    BOO HISS!
    Oh Natly I am so sorry that things did not go as smoothly as we would like, I too have a scar tissue site that they keep an eye on which always freaks me out a bit. They always take extra views and put me in the vise far squishier than they did prior to the cancer. The good news is that it has not change and your's probably will not either. The wedding sounds like fun, try your best to put all this aside for a weekend, you really deserve a get away that allows you some relief from the medical community. Have fun this weekly Natly, hugs, hugs, hugs!

    RE

    Natly .. Are you feeling better, my friend?
    Please let us know ..perhaps you are on your way to the Wedding in Ohio. I truly hope and pray that you enjoy yourself and are feeling a little better.

    Vicki Sam

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