Insult added to injury

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Mathtutor234
Mathtutor234 Member Posts: 16
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Hi,
This might very well be my last post. Since my recurrence I've moved back in with my dad and stepmom (I'm 39 and have no family of my own). They were lukewarm from the start. Yesterday I got into a big argument with my dad. I still have around twelve thousand in total assests left from the sale of my house. All of it is in his name. And he has used me as a tax deduction for the past four years (also my medical payments that I've already made and some other tax deductions, the total value of which is at least fifteen thousand dollars). I wanted to make an eleven hundred dollar payment to the hospital where I had to stay for two weeks in July. He said I was being selfish in making the payment, that it was just throwing money away. He demanded that I give him enough money to pay for my funeral (big joke, the reality is at best I'll get cremation) and then, to top that, he just seized all of my assets (there already being in his name makes this easy for him to do) and now he demands that I raise my monthly payment to him from $400 to my entire disability check or move out. A social worker is scheduled to come by today and discuss options with me. It looks like I'll have to move into a nursing home. I'm paralyzed from the waist down (please, no jokes about being paralyzed from the neck up) and probably won't be able to move into an assisted living facility. So on top of my recurrence I now have what I feel to be a betrayal from my own dad. I'm beginning to feel a little bit like Job. I won't curse God, but I might have a few choice words for my father. He currently has a farm easily worth seven hundred thousand dollars and right now has over 100k in bank cds and around twenty thousand (not including my money) in his checking account. And he says that I'm being selfish in wanting to spend $1,100 of my own money for hospital bills. No word of how he's going to spend my money. I imagine he'll just add it to his own. Now that's altruism. I'm very worried about my pet chickens. I imagine that if I move out he'll kill them. My stepmom likes most of them and might keep them (she sells the eggs) but dad will at the least thin their numbers down. There are around ten and there is one fat Tyson hen that I just know he'll kill and eat. And there might not be a nursing home that will accept me. In that case I'll just have to give everything to my dad. That will make for some very expensive baloney sandwiches... If I have to move in the next day or so I probably won't be able to post anymore (assuming wherever I end up does not have internet access) so I'll wish everyone good luck. I'm a little embarassed to complain when so many of you have worse problems but just posting this has made me feel better. Thanks a lot.

Comments

  • ktlcs
    ktlcs Member Posts: 358
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    Get an Attorney
    It sounds as if you need an attorney to protect yourself. I don't know where you live but you could find an elder care atty (also handles the disabled) to help you through this and protect what you do have left. The social worker may have suggestions. Often these attorneys will work with you on the fees

    Kathy
  • John23
    John23 Member Posts: 2,122 Member
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    Mr. Tutor.....


    Re:
    "I'm a little embarassed to complain when so many of you have worse problems "

    You're kiddin', right? I mean... how many of us have cancer, AND
    a big nail sticking out of our forehead?

    You either need an decent attorney or an attorney and a decent firearm.

    There's the appearance of a certain degree of abuse taking place
    that centers on an invasion of an individual's (yours') basic liberties.

    Any contract that you may have entered into with your father
    that "gave away" your rights, may easily be construed to have been
    given away during a period of extreme duress and mental instability
    due to your medical condition at that time.

    An attorney might be able to not only reverse the situation and
    nullify the "contract", but seek damages for your discomfort and
    mental stress due to the situation that had been presented by your
    father.

    Abuse is abuse, and it certainly sounds like that's what you're
    dealing with.

    Get a lawyer! Do it, do it, do it.


    Hope you feel better soon!


    John
  • John23 said:

    Mr. Tutor.....


    Re:
    "I'm a little embarassed to complain when so many of you have worse problems "

    You're kiddin', right? I mean... how many of us have cancer, AND
    a big nail sticking out of our forehead?

    You either need an decent attorney or an attorney and a decent firearm.

    There's the appearance of a certain degree of abuse taking place
    that centers on an invasion of an individual's (yours') basic liberties.

    Any contract that you may have entered into with your father
    that "gave away" your rights, may easily be construed to have been
    given away during a period of extreme duress and mental instability
    due to your medical condition at that time.

    An attorney might be able to not only reverse the situation and
    nullify the "contract", but seek damages for your discomfort and
    mental stress due to the situation that had been presented by your
    father.

    Abuse is abuse, and it certainly sounds like that's what you're
    dealing with.

    Get a lawyer! Do it, do it, do it.


    Hope you feel better soon!


    John

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
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    Horrible
    Oh, my goodness! Get a lawyer immediately! That is horrible! I can't believe a father would be this way to his son. I'll be praying for you dear.

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • christinecarl
    christinecarl Member Posts: 543 Member
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    I am very sorry
    I completely agree with the others, get an attorney. I am very sorry, I want to kick your dads **** right now :(
  • karguy
    karguy Member Posts: 1,020 Member
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    I agree
    You should get an attorney,and talk to the district attorney I'm sure your father can be charged with a criminal charge of abuse of the disabled,which is a felony in most states.He also needs to have his butt kicked so hard,he has to poop out of his nose.Good luck.
  • elizabethgd
    elizabethgd Member Posts: 145
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    karguy said:

    I agree
    You should get an attorney,and talk to the district attorney I'm sure your father can be charged with a criminal charge of abuse of the disabled,which is a felony in most states.He also needs to have his butt kicked so hard,he has to poop out of his nose.Good luck.

    I agree
    You need an attorney.. You need to be represented by someone who is acting on your behalf.. The social worker should be able to provide you with needed information.. Sorry you are having such a rough time.. Good luck!
  • Mathtutor234
    Mathtutor234 Member Posts: 16
    Options
    ktlcs said:

    Get an Attorney
    It sounds as if you need an attorney to protect yourself. I don't know where you live but you could find an elder care atty (also handles the disabled) to help you through this and protect what you do have left. The social worker may have suggestions. Often these attorneys will work with you on the fees

    Kathy

    I'm not sure that legal action amy against my dad is a good thi
    Hi,
    I'm not sure that legal action against my dad is a good thing to do. I believe that what he has done is wrong. But suing or pressing charges against your own dad is also wrong. To quote an old saying, 'Two wrongs do not make a right' (although two negatives do make a positive, ha-ha). I've gone through two bouts of cancer. The first around three to three and a half years ago. At that time dad invited me into his house and I lived there for a little more than a year. I paid $400 a month in room and board and things generally worked out well. We got into an occasional argument (he's always been opioninated, as have I) but he never did anything close to what he's done this time. He's in his early sixties and doesn't always make good sense anymore. Perhaps he's in the beginning stages of senility. It just doesn't make a lot of sense for him to grab my paltry $20k in assets when he has so much money. So I can choose to be happy and grateful for the first time he was of so much help to me, and pretty much just let my money go and try not to be bitter for how things have worked out this time.
    Thanks,
    Randall
  • Mathtutor234
    Mathtutor234 Member Posts: 16
    Options
    John23 said:

    Mr. Tutor.....


    Re:
    "I'm a little embarassed to complain when so many of you have worse problems "

    You're kiddin', right? I mean... how many of us have cancer, AND
    a big nail sticking out of our forehead?

    You either need an decent attorney or an attorney and a decent firearm.

    There's the appearance of a certain degree of abuse taking place
    that centers on an invasion of an individual's (yours') basic liberties.

    Any contract that you may have entered into with your father
    that "gave away" your rights, may easily be construed to have been
    given away during a period of extreme duress and mental instability
    due to your medical condition at that time.

    An attorney might be able to not only reverse the situation and
    nullify the "contract", but seek damages for your discomfort and
    mental stress due to the situation that had been presented by your
    father.

    Abuse is abuse, and it certainly sounds like that's what you're
    dealing with.

    Get a lawyer! Do it, do it, do it.


    Hope you feel better soon!


    John

    There is no contract
    Hi,
    There is no contract. My dad doesn't have power of attorney over me. He just decided to seize my assets. I think he might be in the beginning stages of senility and might have internalized behavior patterns from some old western where a cattle baron grabs land from the farmers...And I really believe that many, many people have things worse than I do. I survived my first bout with cancer when I had a terminal diagnosis. In fact my most recent MRI scan showed no signs of the first cancerous tumor. The second tumor that has grown into my spine higher up is probably not life threatning, although it has paralyzed me from the waist down (and possibly from the neck up, ha-ha). More than a few people who post here will probably die in the near future. I feel that they have a stronger right to complain than I do.
    Thanks,
    Randall
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